


Twilight: The Ever Swan Story

by NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets



Series: Ever Swan story [1]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:16:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 105,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3569324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets/pseuds/NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when you and your emo twin are shipped off to a tiny town where it never stops raining?</p><p>Ever can't wait to be back in Forks. The only place where she ever felt she belonged. It's also a chance to escape her past and all the shadows that come along with it.</p><p>What do you do when that beautiful black eyed boy in your class won't stop staring at you?</p><p>Ever ignores him. Because in Ever's book, a douchnozze is a douchnozzle, no matter how pretty he is.</p><p>What do you do when the before mentioned pretty boy starts talking to you?</p><p>Ever calls him out on his bull-sh*t and accuses him of being a vampire. Because, you never know.</p><p>What do you do when the weird pretty boy admits to being a vampire?</p><p>Ever offers to keep his secret. Even friends with fangs deserve privacy.</p><p>What do you do when you find yourself falling for a dangerous vampire who makes you feel things you thought yourself incapable of feeling?</p><p>Ever.....fights it like hell. Because love is terrifying even to the mightiest of unicorns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First sight

**Author's Note:**

> Right, I know, I know, I KNOW, a Twilight fanfic? I swore I'd never write one, but, the thing is, the other day I was sitting around trying to finish off a chapter of my other TVD story, 'EVER GILBERT AND SINBAD SALVATORE', when I suddenly wondered 'what if my character, Ever, was Bella Swan's twin? How would that work? How could I fit her in like I did with my TVD story? The idea was stuck in my head for days, and I just couldn't get rid of it. So, here I am.
> 
> My main OC, Ever, is a character I have already developed in another story of mine, as I previously stated, just so you all know. Ever is wild, insane and strong willed, no one tells that girl what to do with her unicorn boots. This story will be as close to cannon as I can get it, but obviously not exactly the same as I will have to incorporate two main female characters, and because Ever is pretty much nothing like Bella, some things will change. But hopefully for the better, I think.
> 
> This story will be full of humor, but also drama and romance. Obviously. I think it'll end up a little like a car wreck in wonderland, if you know what I mean. But please give it a go, that's all I ask.
> 
> I do not own Twilight or any of the characters ect ect except my own OC. I take some dialog from the book, (I do not own it)but only where it fits. Please do not sue me, because I own nothing except the food I have bought for myself, and that is all already long gone.
> 
> Ok then, on with the tornado that is Everlyna the wonder twin and her side kick bat, Kevin. (High five to all my Ever&Kevin lovers already out there)

Chapter one:  **First Sight**

Our mother drove us to the airport, the windows rolled down. Bella and I had argued over it actually. I wanted them open because I enjoy the breeze rushing through my dark hair. Bella prefers to be stuffed inside the car where the heat easily stifles any and all positive emotions. Ok, so she didn't use that as her argument, but I know my sister, and she's just about the most moody person I've ever known. Pretty damn anti-social too. But, hey, that's not my problem. As long as Bella keeps her grouchy emo-ness to herself, then I'm fine.

Bella gives me a stony look, as if she knows exactly what I'm thinking. I smile widely at her, maybe letting a bit of insanity leak through as well, just to really annoy my twin. She's wearing her favourite shirt today-sleeveless, white eyelet lace. I'm wearing one of my favourite t-shirts too- black, with the words  **'I may look human on the outside. But on the inside, I am a unicorn. A badass ninja unicorn'** printed on it in thick blue lettering.

My sister and I are on our way to a place called Forks, that's where our Dad lives. Our mother lived there too until she ran off with me and Bella when we were only a few months old. Guess she didn't like the rain. Cause rain is definitely what you'll get in Forks. I kinda like rain. It's fresh and it has this weird way of making you feel alive, if you stand out in it for long enough. I like to think that it washes away all your bad feelings, the shit that just seems to stick to your soul.

Bella thinks Forks is gloomy and depressing, I argue that so is she, so technically she should like it. That earned me a glare and an adonation from our mother. She always takes Bella's side, but I suppose that's because Bella agrees with her about Forks. Both of us have been going there every summer for one month. Until we turned fourteen however and Bella refused to go anymore. I thought she was being stupid, but as usual our parents bent to her wishes and Dad came down to visit us instead in California for two weeks during the summer instead.

I've missed Forks a little bit, and I miss Dad a lot too. Ok, I guess I can admit it, I'm more of a daddy's girl than Bella. But that's mainly because I actually attempt to engage with our Dad when he tries to talk to us. He struggles, and we can both tell it doesn't come easy to him, and yeah, it can be awkward, and he doesn't always say the right thing. But Charlie tries, he really does, and I think that's what is most important.

But now Bella and I are moving to Forks. Bella is not a happy bunny, obviously, then again, when is she ever? But I'm quite excited. Not that I hate Phoenix or anything, I love living there. It might be nice though to live in Forks. You never know.

Mother stops us before we get on the plane and says,

"You two don't have to do this" She's said it about a thousand times before, and I understand it's more for Bella's sake than for mine.

Our mom looks a lot like Bella, except with short hair and laugh lines. I feel worried as I watch at her wide, almost naive eyes. And for not the first time I wonder if leaving her is a good idea. Will she be able to cope without us? I mean, she has Phil now obviously, so he'll pay the bills and all that stuff, but...our mom's such a fragile person. Again, a lot like Bella.

I'm really not like either of them. Well, I'm Bella's twin, so we have the same face. But we aren't completely identical. My hair is darker, almost black, I like to keep it curled and long and wild. My eyes aren't the deep brown of Bella's either, but a strange mixture of pale blue and violet. Personality-wise, we're really different as well. Bella is reclusive, quiet, insecure, but also kind-hearted, compassionate and caring-when she chooses to be. I do love her, even when her mood swings drive me crazy.

I'm sorta the opposite in some ways, which basically means wild, outgoing, overly independent and, yeah, a little on the insane side. But that's ok too, it's not like we have to be exactly the same to get along or anything. We do share the same love of books, although where Bella leans towards classic tragic romance, I'm more into the action/adventure and mystery books. Give me some Sherlock Holmes and I shall call it elementary, my dear Watson.

"I want to go" Bella lies. My twin is a very bad liar, but she's been forced to say that line so often now that it comes out almost sounding true. I know for sure it isn't though, not with all the complaining she's been doing secretly to me. Plus, we are twins, it's pretty much a rule that we know when the other is lying.

Our mother smiles slightly at us both,

"Say hi to Charlie"

"We will Mom" Bella replies a little tightly.

I scoff, pretending to sound put out,

"I don't know Mom, that's a lot of pressure to put on Bella, she'll actually have to speak to him to say hi. Better let me worry about that" I smirk a little at my twin, and even though I'm obviously teasing, Bella narrows her eyes at me.

Mom smacks my arm playfully,

"Oh, now, Ever, don't tease your sister. Both of you, be nice to each other from now on, ok. You'll need each others support"

I almost laugh at that, the day Bella supports anyone but her own whiny ass is the day I get rid of my sidekick bat, Kevin. And that is never happening, I can assure you.

Mom ignores my smirk and Bella's snort, saying,

"I'll see you soon. You can come home whenever you want -I'll come right back as soon as you need me."

I can clearly see that she hopes we won't be needing her any time soon, which is fair. It's hard to start a new life if your twin daughters keep calling you back for a hug.

"No need to worry, Mom" I say.

"We'll be fine" Bella adds, "I love you"

"I love you too, Mom"

She hugs us both tightly, then we get on the plane and she's gone.

It's a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks. I don't mind flying, athough sitting next to Bella for that long might end in tears. Or a crashed plane.

"Are you alright?" I ask, Bella is looking a little tense as we get closer and closer to the airport that Dad will pick us up from.

Bella shrugs, and then huffs a little, eventually saying,

"It's gonna be awkward with Charlie"

Ah, so that's what has her all shifty.

"It might not be that bad" I reply, because it really might not be that bad.

Bella gives me another narrow look,

"Charlie isn't exactly the best at conversation, it's gonna be majorly awkward"

I think about that for a moment, and then say,

"You can't blame Dad for that, not completely, it's not like you're a regular little chatterbox either"

Bella huffs again,

"I know that, which is why it's gonna be even more awkward"

To be fair she's probably right. But Dad's been really great about us coming to live with him. He sounds genuinely happy about it, and he's already got us registered at school-ugh, why?-and is helping us out with a vehicle of our own.

But I do think he's a little confused about why Bella would agree to come and live in Forks, just like our mother she never made her dislike of the place a secret.

"Nah, it'll be ok. You have me to fill all the silences up with my awesomeness" I grin at my twin.

Bella pulls a face at me and shakes her head,

"Oh, God, that'll be even worse"

I flick her on the forehead,

"I take serious offense to that. My amazingness knows no bounds. You shall see my emo twin, you shall heed this day!" I throw my hands up dramatically.

After that Bella puts her earphones back in and ignores me for the rest of the flight. As is her usual M.O.

...

It's raining when we land. See, I told ya.

Dad is waiting for us by his cruiser. I think we both expected that. Our Dad is the Police chief of Forks. Which is why Bella wants her own set of wheels, because she really doesn't like being driven around in a car with blue and red lights on top. Me on the other hand, I like the flashy blue lights. I quite like freaking people out too, nothing makes people panic on the road quite like a police car.

I watch in both horror and awe as Dad hugs Bella; it truly is horrifyingly awkward. Then I throw myself into his arms and he spins me around, which is the way we've always greeted each other.

It's not that Dad loves me more, or anything like that. I'm just not afraid to push our Dad out of his comfort zone a little and tell him what I want. Bella just expects him to  _know_. I keep telling her that Dad isn't very good at catching subtlety, he needs to be told how to treat us. But she won't listen to me, she never does though, so I'm used to it by now.

"It's good to see you both" Dad says smiling at us brightly.

I smile back and say,

"It's great to see you too Dad"

After I nudge her arm, Bella nods and says,

"Yeah, good to see you, Cha-Dad" I try to contain my smirk. Bella isn't allowed to call our Dad 'Charlie' to his face.

After Bella and I get our meager belongings locked and loaded into the cruiser, we set off for Forks.

"I've found you a both a car, it's good, cheap too"

I grin at that, finding myself excited to see what Dad considers a good car.

"What kind of car?" Bella asks.

"A truck, actually, Chevy"

"Really, cool, I've always wanted one of those" I say, not even really lying, because I do think Chevy's are cool. I am pretending to be a little more enthusiastic than I am for Dad's sake though.

"Where did you find it?" Bella asks, shooting me another dry look, seeming almost annoyed at my enthusiasm. Well one of us has to be grateful, and that person is usually me when it comes to Dad.

"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?" La Push is the tiny Indian reservation on the coast.

I nod straight away, smiling at the far off memories. I say,

"Yeah, of course" at the same time Bella says "No"

"He used to go fishing with us" Dad prompts Bella.

Bella screws her face up a little, and I know she's trying hard not to remember. Bella was not fond of fishing. It's not like I was wonder woodland woman, either, but I did catch a fish once, and it was awesome. Right up until I accidentally -and I swear it was an accident despite whatever Bella might argue- hit Bella in the face with the before mentioned caught fish.

It. Was. Hilarious.

Bella did not agree. But I like to think the fish did, and Billy laughed, so that's all that really matters.

"Billy's in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued, "so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap."

I feel bad then, I liked Billy quite a bit. I hope he's coping alright, it can't have been easy to lose such a vital part of yourself.

"What year is it?" Bella asks, she seems to be getting a little more into it now. I can tell from Dad's change of expression that he was hoping we wouldn't ask that question.

"Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine - it's only a few years old, really." Dad tries to hedge.

He should know by now that Bella is not going to give in that easily. Neither would I, really, but I think it's best to let Bella take the reins on this one since she's the one who pushed for a car in the first place.

"When did he buy it?"

"He bought it in 1984, I think."

"Did he buy it new?" I ask, knowing the answer already, but wanting to confirm.

"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties - or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly.

"Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic..." Bella tries, looking disgruntled.

I arch an eyebrow at her,

"Come on, Isy, you know I can fix cars up pretty well" My ex was a mechanic, and I got him to teach me a few things. Bella knows that, she's just being difficult for whatever reason.

Bella full on glares at me, and I try not to laugh when I realise why. She really hates it when I call her 'Isy', which is why I started doing it so much. Childish, I know, but I can't help myself from poking her sometimes, especially when she's being irritating.

"How cheap is cheap?" Bella asks after a long pause, obviously deciding not to fight me on it this time.

"Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you guys. As a homecoming gift." Charlie peeked at us both in the back with a hopeful expression.

I smile widely at him, jamming my elbow hard into Bella's side until she smiles too,

"That's really great Dad, thank you"

"You didn't need to do that" Bella adds.

"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." Dad says, sounding more chipper than before. He looks away though as he says it. Dad isn't good at expressing emotions, which is one thing Bella really did inherit from him. For me it really depends on which emotion I'm feeling. Anger I'm pretty good with, and clear cut happiness. But there are some other that I hide even better than Bella.

"That was really nice of you Dad" My twin mutters, but I can see the obvious train of thought in her mind. Bella will never be 'happy' in Forks.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and say to Dad,

"You still didn't need to buy us a car for that, Dad, I'm just glad for a change in scenery, I missed Forks"

All of which is true. I just didn't realise I wanted a change until I just said it. Bella looks at me with a question in her eyes, but all I can do is shrug, because I'm not sure how to explain it, even to myself yet.

"Well, now, you're welcome," Dad mumbles, obviously embarrassed by our thanks.

We all seem to lapse into silence, and despite what I said on the plane, I let it lie. I'm too busy looking out the window at all the beautiful nature surrounding Forks. It really is amazing, like a whole other world. I think about all the stories I can write about this place, with all this inspiration staring me right in the face.

Eventually though we arrive at Dad's. He still lives in the same small-ish two bedroom house that he'd bought with Mom when they started out on the path of their doomed marriage. Parked in the driveway is what I assume is mine and Bella's new truck. It's a faded red color, with big, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab. I find myself smiling again, as I realise how much I really do like it. The truck looks solid, like it could withstand any crash. I like that in a vehicle.

I turn to Bella, and watch in slight surprise as she appears quite pleased with the truck as well.

"I think I shall name him...Gordan" I say with a finality that anyone who knows me would also know not to argue with. Apart from possibly my emo twin.

Bella gives me a hard stare,

"Ever, don't be weird"

I make an affronted face,

"The truck speaks to me, Isy, and his name is Gordan, what's weird about that?"

Bella rolls her eyes at me,

"Trucks don't talk, Ever. It's an inanimate object. I'm not arguing with you about this again"

I wave a hand dismissively,

"There's nothing to argue about. The truck clearly spoke to me, just because you can't understand our connection, doesn't mean-"

"TRUCKS DON'T SPEAK EVER!" Bella snaps in exasperation.

"Not out loud, obviously" I counter, "I meant spiritually"

Bella glares at me again,

"Cars don't have souls, Ever"

I sigh heavily and pinch the bridge of my nose,

"Of course not, Isy. Cars don't have souls. But trucks do"

"You're being ridiculous" Bella snips huffily at me, "Trucks don't have names"

I shake my head,

"That's a very ignorant thing to say Isy, just because they don't look like us, that doesn't mean they don't have names"

"I'm not talking to you anymore" Bella says, looking really ticked off.

I wave at Gordan, ignoring my emo twin who has no sense of humour at all.

"Hi, Gordan" I call out, still waving.

Bella slaps at my hand. I slap back at hers, and soon enough we've descended into a full on five year old slap fight.

Dad does nothing to stop our fight, he never really does. I understand, it would take a braver man than Charlie to get inbetween two teenage girls slapping each other and saying things like 'Gordan is a stupid name, anyway' and 'Blasphemy! I demand you recant that vile statement and apologise to Gordan'.

We do stop after a few minutes though when I manage to slap Bella's hand and throw myself out of the car before she can slap back. I claim victory as we head into the house. I am clearly the slapmaster.

Dad doesn't hover over us as Bella and I unpack our stuff in our room. We've shared this room since we were babies, one side decorated to my taste, and the other to Bella's. Although we share the desk, the computer and now the phone that Mom insisted Dad have installed so we could contact her easily.

I look over at Bella once all our stuff is packed away and I say,

"And, so it begins"

Bella doesn't reply, she just curls up on her bed and stares out the window. I sigh inwardly; this is going to be a long two years.

...

Forks High is has only three hundred and fifty-seven - now fifty-nine- students; there were more than seven hundred people in my junior class alone back home. Everyone here knows each other from...forever ago. Bella and I would be the only new students.

I know my sister is worried about fitting in, and honestly, so am I. Back home, despite our differing personalities, we were both kind of outcasts. Although my loner status was more by choice rather than anything else. I probably don't even look that much like someone from California, with my pale skin, the same as Bella's. But that's not really the point. It was never about how I looked, I just preferred my own company a lot of the time.

I guess I was popular in the sense that everyone liked me and quite a few wanted to be my friend, but I wasn't actually close to anyone at all. None of that bothered me though, I was happy to lose myself in my books, or my own writing, or going for a run, or listening to music or playing the guitar. Those things made up my life, and I was glad, in a way. I didn't feel the need to be normal, or even try to act as if I was.

My weirdness is different to Bella's though. She's awkward and clumsy, whereas as I'm just a bit of a unicorn in human clothing, you know.

I never felt...like I belonged though, in Phoenix, and I'm not sure exactly why.

I sleep ok that night, but from the bags under Bella's eyes, I guess she didn't. I know Bella is scared that people at school will think we're freaks or something silly like that. I try to reassure her, but she doesn't want to hear it.

"It's like a cage" Bella mutters, gesturing at the sky, and I immediately know what she means. I also don't agree.

"Cages we can't see are built by our own minds, Isy, and can only be destroyed if we choose to break free from them" I say meaningfully to my twin.

Bella doesn't reply. But I knew she wouldn't.

Breakfast with Dad is pleasant enough, with me supplying most of the talking as usual, but not caring because at least I know Dad is actually listening to what I say. He cares, I know he does, and that means a lot me. He even said he liked my t-shirt. This one is blue and says  **'I do not run. And if you ever see me running; You should run too; Because something is probably chasing me'.**

Once Dad leaves for work though, the mood turns even more ominous, and I give all the credit for that to my emo twin. She looks about ready to throw herself in front of a bus. I would, of course, call out for her to stop such nonsense. I mean, what if she hurt the bus? Those things are expensive.

"What's up with you?" I ask, as kindly as I can manage. She may be annoying, but I don't actually want my sister to be unhappy.

Bella sighs and fiddles with her nails, looking forlorn as all hell. Finally she looks at me and says,

"Don't you feel...you know...uncomfortable?"

Uncomfortable? I give her a questioning stare, and Bella gestures at around the room. I frown at first, and then realise what she means. There are pictures of us, as babies, school photos, pictures of us, Dad and mom together at the hospital. I can see where Bella's coming from, it's clear from the kitchen alone that our Dad never got over Mom. But it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe just a little sad.

"Not really" I say thoughtfully, "But I can see why you are. I get it Bella, I do. But just give Forks a chance"

Bella stares at me unemotionally for a long moment, and then finally let out a long breathe.

"Let's go to school"

I want to say no, that it's too early, but one look at my sister's face tells me that she'll leave with or without me anyway. So I get up from the kitchen table and lead the way out of Dad's house.

It's foggy outside, and I can almost feel the tendrils of cold biting at the skin of my face. I allow myself to enjoy the icy weather a bit, looking up at the sky and breathing in the freshness of it all. I begin to feel a bit empty, as if the cold is sucking out all my fiery emotions.

As soon as I see the truck, however, my uneasy mood changes to one of pure joy; and, mostly to ruffle Bella's feathers, I open my arms wide and run at full speed towards Gordan shouting,

"GOOD MORNING GORDON!"

I pretend to hug the truck and begin stroking it lovingly as Bella quickly approaches. She looks pissy. Ha, result!

"Would you please, stop being stupid! I don't want to be stared at all day just because you're openly a complete weirdo" Bella hisses at me.

I just grin madly at her and reply,

"As apposed to being a  _secret_  weirdo, you mean?"

"Shut up" Bella snaps, and she slams into the truck with an almost violent huff.

I get in after her, not trusting Bella to wait for me before driving off to school. Bella turns on the radio before I can say anything, and I allow her to sulk in silence the way I know my twin enjoys. And she calls me the weirdo. I'm not the one who brought a pet cactus to Forks from Phoenix.

...

Bella manages to park Gordan without killing us, which is a miracle within itself, so I call a silent win, although Bella glares at me as if she heard it. We already got our schedule's from the office, and now I'm trying to decide if Bella is actually going to be sick or not.

"I think you're over reacting, Isy, there's nothing to really worry about" I say casually, wrapping my arm around Bella as we walk closer and closer to the Forks High's main building.

Bella sniffs at me,

"I know that"

"Well then tell your face"

She frowns, and shrugs off my arm,

"I'm just nervous"

"I know, Isy, so am I, it's fine"

But I know Bella isn't really listening to me. Again. So I don't say anything else, and just keep as close as I can, trying to make her feel more comfortable with my presence at her side. I think maybe it helps a bit, because she appears more comfortable as we hurry into school. I hope so at least, I don't want Bella to be tense all the time for the next two years.

Although I do worry as I leave her alone. We share quite a few classes according to our schedule's, but apparently not this first one. I would have thought they'd keep us together, but nope.

"Everything will be ok, don't panic. If you need me, then come find me" I whisper to her. Bella simply nods tightly before shuffling inside her classroom.

Once I arrive at my own classroom, I watch for a moment as students hang up their coats on hooks. I quickly follow suit before anyone can do something annoying like tell me how to hang up a coat. I'm a new student, yeah, not a moron.

I shove my slip into Mr. Mason's hand, and before he can say anything, or God forbid introduce me to the class, I stride to a seat in the back and make myself at home there. I look down at this years reading list, and find myself relieved that I've already read everything. Feeling grateful to Bella for once for loving all that sort of stuff and leaving her books lying around back home. I ended up reading them when I was bored or just too lazy to get up and retrieve a book of my own.

It turns out Bella was right about one thing though, everyone is definitely staring at me. It's kind of disturbing. A few times I stare right back until the other person turns away, embarrassed. Once or twice I even make faces at them when Mr. Mason isn't looking. That earns me both giggles of amusement and looks of 'wtf is this creature'. Which I'm fairly used to anyway.

I find myself zoning out as Mr. Mason talks, and soon enough the bell rings. I get up, ready to leave, when suddenly a tall skinny kid with dark hair leans over the aisle to talk to me.

"You're one of the new girls, Swan, right?"

I decide right there and then to make the most of being the new kid. It's what Kevin would want.

I cross my arms and mock scowl at the tall boy, snapping,

"No! I've always been here."

He frowns at me and shakes his head,

"Um, no, you haven't. I don't know you."

I fake gasp at him in 'anger',

"My name is Sydney Connors, we've had English lit class together for four years!"

Tall boy, who I have now named String-bean, Beany for short, looks shocked and he begins to sputter. Good.

"But...you...I haven't...I've never seen you before!" he finally gets out.

I huff loudly,

"How dare you! We sat together all of last year! What's wrong with you?"

Beany is looking pretty distressed when he says,

"You're joking right? There's no way you've been here all this time, I know everyone"

What does that even mean? 'I know everyone'? It creeps me out that he might actually know everybody in this school, maybe even everybody in this town. That's just not natural.

I throw my hand out towards him in mock disgust,

"Well, clearly not everyone! Because I've always been here...Eric!" I guess. There's no way that's his actual name, I know, but I'm hoping he'll be so flustered that I can convince him it is.

"Oh my God, you know my name!" Beany practically shouts.

NO WAY! Beany's name is Eric! That is brilliant!

Obviously, I am Jesus.

Everyone in class is watching us by this point, and I really don't care, I am having a me-moment now that I have discovered I am in fact, Jesus.

"I can't believe you're pretending you don't know me, Eric" I say to Beany, putting on an upset voice.

Beany seems to be choking on oxygen or something and I worry that my Jesus-like powers are slowly murdering him. That would not be a good start, if I kill someone on the my first day of school, and my first day of being Jesus. They might revoke my non-existent Jesus badge.

Oh, what if Gordan hears about it? He'll never love a murderer. Kevin would be fine with it, but he's a psycho anyway. Bella would only complain about having to visit me in jail. And what would Bella do without me? She'd probably get herself killed by tripping over her own shoe lace or something equally ridiculous.

Beany looks like he might cry, sputtering again,

"I...I...I'm sorry...I didn't...uh...Oh my God..." and I take pity on him.

I pat his arm carefully, and lean in close to say,

"It's ok, Eric, I forgive you" I also notice that no one jumps in to correct me, or argue the obvious point that I am of course a new student. Weirdo's.

Beany slowly begins to calm down, and eventually he nods at me,

"Thanks, Sydney, I really am sorry"

I shrug and smile at him,

"No worries, I'm pretty good at not being noticed"

Beany starts nodding again, almost as if to himself, and then says,

"You must be, because I definitely would have noticed someone as beautiful as you"

Ah, the crazy-ness is making him say anything that pops into his head. Good, good, I have Beany where I want him.

"I'm flattered, Eric, really" I pat him again, just to make sure he doesn't fall over, as he looks to be in some sort of daze right now. Whoops.

Beany appears to blink himself out of it though, and he asks me,

"So, what's your next class?"

I think for moment, then answer,

"Government, with Jefferson, in building six."

"I'm headed toward building four, can I walk with you?" Beany asks, sounding almost nervous. I feel a little bad about making him get so upset, so I nod in agreement.

As Beany and I walk towards our classes, I ignore all the people blatantly gawking at me. I don't want to ruin this thing I have going with my new friend Beany.

"You seemed to zone out of Mr. Mason's class pretty quickly, do you not like English lit?" Beany asks, sounding genuinely curious.

I shake my head,

"I do like English lit, it's just that Mr. Mason's voice makes my eyes droop"

Beany chuckles a little and then tips his head towards me in agreement,

"Yeah, I know what you mean"

I study Beany for a moment, he looks like the sort of dorky type. But I don't like to judge people, you never know what someone is hiding, what you see isn't always what you get.

"What class do you like, then?" I find myself asking.

Beany gives me a small smile,

"Uh, art and design I guess, I like making something out of almost nothing"

See what I mean.

I smile up at Beany,

"I think I know what you mean, although I prefer to write stories, I can make a story out of anything, and that's the magic of it" It's only fair that I share a bit of myself when he shared something like that with me, especially as I'm pretty sure what he said is not his standard answer.

It's strange, but all my life people have trusted me with their secrets, it's like they feel compelled to confide in me, even if, like Beany, we've only known each other a short time. Which is nice, and slightly worrying at the same time.

Beany drops me off at my next class, and we agree to talk at lunch. I mostly agree to it because he looked so damned hopeful, and I'm a sucker for puppy eyes on a boy. Some of the time anyway.

My next few classes go ok, mostly because I skip them to go sit and write inside Gordan. I just felt compelled to write a story in that moment, and when my fingers start to twitch in that way, I know it'll drive me crazy until I pick up a pen and start writing. It's a curse with me, but I wouldn't want it gone. My mom calls it passion, Bella calls it an excuse to do whatever I want.

It really isn't. An excuse I mean. But if my hand wants to start itching right before trig class, then I'm all for it. Ugh, I hate trig. Or anything related to it, which pretty much puts all mathematics on my 'meh' list of things to care about. It's not that I'm stupid, me and maths just don't get on all that well.

When the lunch bell tolls though, I force myself to go back inside so that I can meet up with Bella, to check and make sure she hasn't gone all emo on everyone. I can't see her anywhere, and for a moment I worry, but then I mentally slap myself. Bella will be fine, she isn't a baby for christs sake, she can find the cafeteria by herself without me having to hold her hand.

I smile though when Beany waves me over, and I make my way towards him, still ignoring all the people staring at my like I'm sort of fascinating insect. Beany and I find ourselves a mostly deserted table, and I ask him about his new shirt. It's different to the one he was wearing in English lit, and begins to tell me a story about what happens when you trip whilst carrying acid. Very entertaining stuff.

Bella comes in not that long after with a girl who's clearly chatting her ear off. I wave at her to join us, but she's too busy looking awkward to see me and ends up sitting down with chatty girl and all of her friends. I think about going over there, but just then my eyes stray to a table full of the oddest looking people I have ever seen.

There are six of them. They don't appear to be talking or eating, even though there is untouched food on trays in front of them. Huh. Of the four boys, one is big - muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark, curly hair. Another is taller, leaner, but still muscular, and honey blond. The last two are twins, both of them are slim looking, less bulky, although one of them has neatly combed chocolate brown hair, whilst the other has untidy, bronze-colored hair. They look more boyish than the others. The rest of them might as well be teachers here.

The girls are each other opposites. The tall one is statuesque. She's beautiful and built like an hourglass, her hair is golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. The other is pixieish, very thin, with small features. Her hair is a deep black,cropped short and pointing in every direction. Still pretty though.

Even though none of them appear to look alike, except the twin boys, obviously, they still have an air of 'sameness' about them, as if they have the same sheen to their skin, or the same kind of magic to their almost graceful stillness. If such a thing is possible.

All of them are beautiful, in the extreme even. It's astoundingly fascinating to me how removed they appear from the rest of the world. As if they don't quite belong. The feeling resounds within me, shining a bright light on my own deeper, darker, thoughts. About life. About myself. About how removed from real life I already feel most of the time.

Quite suddenly, tinkerbelle jumps out of her seat and practically dances out of the room. I think she might be a little deranged, but then, I've danced out of plenty of places, especially bookshops, so I can't really say much.

I shift my attention back to Beany for a moment and I almost ask, out of pure curiosity,who they are. But then I remember that I'm already supposed to know, so I change tactics.

"What's up with them today?" I ask, gesturing at the table of fasting models. They all look a little Bella-ish, if I'm being honest, and isn't that just a scary thought.

Beany's brow furrows as his eyes skitter between me and the silent glass people. Beany shrugs at me,

"The same thing that's up with them everyday, I guess. The Cullens are always like that"

The Cullens? Does he mean that like a club...or...family? Could they be family? They definitely don't look related, again apart from the twins of course,...but...then...there is something similar about them all, with their unnatural beauty and strange stillness. Like a flower pressed between two pieces of glass.

I look away from Beany, back at the...Cullens, and I'm a bit startled to see one of the twins, looking right at me. His gaze flickers slightly towards Beany, but then comes back to rest heavily on me again. I meet his gaze head on, curious beyond belief, although I don't really know why. My heart starts to beat a little faster, and I can feel a slight prickle of warmth slide up and down my spine as we continue to stare at each other for a very long moment.

I raise an eyebrow at him, and just like that, his dark eyes flicker away. I watch as he nudges his brother, his twin, who was, ironically, watching my own twin. I look over at Bella, who appears embarrassed about something, but my eyes find their way back to the male twins, especially my one. Maybe they're just interested because Bella and I are also twins. There can't be too many of them in this town. If any at all.

"What are the twin's names again?" I ask Beany, feigning only slight interest.

Beany shuffles a little next to me and answers,

"Uh, Edward and John-Paul, I think"

"Are they...adopted?" I guess out loud, hoping Beany will answer without asking me why I don't already know the answer to that.

Luckily for me, Beany seems to be happy just to be filling me with knowledge, whether I'm already supposed to know it or not.

"Yeah, Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted all of them. The two other boys are named Emmett and Jasper, the girl is Rosalie and the one who left is Alice" Beany gestures slightly at each of the Cullens as he tells me their names.

Wow, cool names. A little old fashioned. Different. I like that.

"They're all together" Beany goes on, "I mean Rosalie and Emmett, and Alice and Jasper"

Together? Like, romantically?

"And they all live together" Beany adds.

Christ, Jerry Springer would have field day with that lot.

Beany goes on to tell me about how they only moved here two years ago, which would explain why I haven't seen them before. I attempt to push the Cullens out of my mind, especially the Cullen twin who I know keeps _looking at me_. Edward. Hhhmmm, Edward. He's handsome, incredibly beautiful, for sure. But that doesn't mean much to me. Although I find myself interested, despite myself. I want to ask him questions, to know him, more than I've ever wanted to know anyone, and that scares the shit out of me.

I'm not normally one to hide from things that freak me out, but this time I'll make an exception. So, I pay avid attention to Beany as he talks about his life, trying to engage with him and ignore the pull I feel towards Edward the living ice block. It's hard, but I just about manage it. Sort of. Ish.

Before lunch is over, I excuse my self from my new best friend, and grab hold of my sister, not bothering so stay and play nice with her new people. I pull her towards our next class, once again not one we have together, but the classrooms are opposite each other, so I suppose that counts for something.

"So, how's your day been going?" I ask my sister conversationally.

Bella looks at me sharply and shrugs,

"Not as good as yours clearly, considering you cut class already"

I wave a hand uncaringly,

"Ah, don't worry about it"

Bella sighs in exasperation,

"But, Ever, this is only our first  _day_ -"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I'll try to behave, ok" I mutter, rolling my eyes.

"No you won't" Bella mutters back, but I don't comment on it so she lets it go. We do that, you see. I let go of her emo-ness and she lets go of my...well, me-ness. It's a fair enough trade.

After a brief silence, Bella whispers to me, more excitement in her voice than I've heard since we left for Forks,

"Did you see them?"

I know who she means, but I decide to play dumb just in case.

"Who?"

"The Cullens" Bella replies, "You know...the...attractive ones...in the cafeteria"

'The attractive ones'? Really, sis?

"Um, nope, didn't see 'em" I lie.

Bella swats my arm,

"Yes you did, I saw you look right at them"

"Then why did you ask if I'd seen them?" I argue.

But Bella is now looking dreamily off into the distance, dear God...I have to stop myself from slapping her.

"He's beautiful" she says quietly.

"Which one?" I ask, wanting to slap  _myself_  for giving into temptation.

"John-Paul" Bella answers easily, and I groan inwardly when a little part of me is relieved. I have no idea why, it's not like I have any claim on Edward. I don't even want a claim on Edward, thank you all very much.

Bella and I part as we go into our separate classrooms. I look around for a free seat, and much to my annoyance, the only free seat is right next to the person I'm trying really hard not to think about. God damn it!

I level a glare at Edward, blaming him and fate both for this, only to find that he is glaring right back at me. The heat and fury in his night black eyes momentarily stuns me, but I recover quickly and go to sit down next to him.

It's pretty clear to me after only a few moments of sitting next to Edward, that he's purposely leaning away from me, his face twisted, as if smelling something foul. I barely resist the urge to ask him what the hell his problem is. But I don't. Because I really, really, don't give a flying fuck. Or at least I shouldn't. Either way, I'm still no asking, so that counts.

But despite my best efforts to ignore him and pretend to concentrate on the actual class, I find myself sneaking covert glances at Edward. I notice how tense he seems, which doesn't appear to lessen at all throughout the entire hour of the lesson. I also realise that he's not at all as slight as I first thought, his thin t-shirt reveals strongly toned arms, and muscles that appear to be cut out of marble.

There is a look in his eyes though, those cold black hole eyes, that seem almost...predatory. Danger actually rolls off him in waves, but at the same time I feel myself drawn to him, like a moth being sucked in by a flame. Although this flame is definitely ice cold.

All of this only interests me further. And that repels me completely. I don't want to be interested in this...person. But I am, I really am interested. I want to introduce myself, I want to talk to him, find out all his secrets, crack him open and see every corner of his mind and soul.

That kind of curiosity is bad for me, and I don't need boy drama bullshit in my life right now.

My eyes flicker up for one moment, and our gazes lock. I see bright fury in the depths of his eyes. It pisses me off. I glare right back at him, not willing to back down for a single moment. Asshole, who the hell does he think he is to look at me with such contempt.

Edward seems abruptly taken aback by my measuring glare. Good. Hope he jokes on it.

The bell goes only moments later, and I swiftly look away from stony mc pebble face. Although somewhere inside my head I've begun calling him Ward, because I knew an Edward back home who was also an asshole, and hated it when people called him 'Ward'. I suppose I could call him 'Teddy', but that seems too cutesy for such a...strange creature.

Because by this point I'm leaning away from 'human being'.

Anyway, Edward/Ward/Teddy, manages to escape from the classroom before I can even turn around. I feel relieved. Not at all disappointed. I promise.

I grab my stuff, intent on getting to my next class before my hand can start twitching again, but I'm stopped by another male voice behind me, not Beany this time though. Unfortunately.

"Aren't you Everlyna Swan?"

I look up, suppressing a sigh. The boy in front of me is blond, cute and friendly. The usual all american small town kind of guy. Like I said, I don't like to judge, but this time I think I'm definitely right.

"Just, Ever, actually. But you can call me Sydney" I reply readily, a smile on my face, trying to be friendly for once. I don't want to be mean to this kid just because another guy I don't even know is an asshole.

Blondy blinks rapidly at me, as if unsure how to respond. But eventually he says,

"I already met your twin, Bella"

I wave a hand and joke,

"Nah, Bella and I aren't twins. She's actually adopted, we just molded her to look like me in the lab"

Mike gives me that goldfish stare again, which is why I decide to name him officially, Goldy. Apparently people in this town have a thing for ignoring weird things, however, because Goldy just says,

"Do you need help getting to your next class?"

I shake my head quickly,

"No, no, I've got gym, I think I can find it"

But then Goldy's face lights up like a puppy, and I internally groan before he even gets the next words out of his mouth,

"Oh, great, that's my next class too"

So we end up walking together, making small talk. I hate small talk.

Goldy ends up telling me his life story though, including the fact that he lived in California until he was ten, so he understands about missing the sun. I don't, not really, but, I do wonder if he told this story to Bella. She'd probably get a kick out of it.

When we get to the gym however, Goldy lingers instead of going into the locker rooms, and says,

"So, did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what? I've never seen him act like that."

I decide to play dumb again,

"Who?"

"You know, the guy you sat next to in bio" Goldy supplies.

I shrug non-commitally,

"I dunno" which is true, I really don't know why Edward was acting so oddly towards me, "I haven't spoken to him" and I don't intend to either.

"He's a weird guy." Mike says seriously, he smiles warmly at me "If I were lucky enough to sit by you, I would have talked to you."

Oh dear demon babies everywhere! What is happening? This is even worse than Beany's beautiful comment. I think I'd rather be glared at by Edward.

"Um, thanks Goldy, have a good...gym...meeting...thingy" I say before quickly slipping into the girls changing room.

When the final bell rings, Bella wants to go and hand something into the front desk. I rush out instead so I don't have to deal with questions about my skipped classes. I can deal with that tommorrow. Or never, maybe.

I wait inside Gordan for Bella. Only a few minutes later, Bella comes out and gets inside Gordan, slamming the door. Hard.

My sister looks about to cry, which means she is either really pissed off, or genuinely upset.

"What the hell happened?" I ask worriedly, wanting to know what fuckhead made my sister feel this distraught so quickly.

Bella sniffs a little and shakes her head,

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"Liar" I argue, "Tell me"

Bella squeezes her eyes shut and whispers,

"He hates me"

What?

"Who hates you?" I ask in confusion.

"John-Paul Cullen" Bella spits out.

Ah, so both the Cullen twins need a swift kick to the face.

"Why would you think he hates you?" Still not really getting it.

Bella looks right at me and says, sounding hurt and confused,

"He kept giving me a disgusted look all the way through class, and then I heard him in the office trying to switch classes so he wouldn't have to be in the same one as me"

Ok, well now I think she's overreacting. There's no way anyone would cut a class just to get away from someone they haven't even spoken to. That's just stupid.

I try to convince Bella of this, but she won't listen. My twin sinks into a poole of her own self hatred, and there's nothing I can do to yank her our short of crashing our car. Which I won't do, because Gordan is my friend. And you don't crash your friends.

On the drive home I find myself thinking again about Edward Cullen and the rest of his strangely compelling family. I get the feeling that no matter what I do from now on, my life won't ever be simple again.


	2. Open Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

Chapter two:Open Book

My second day of school isn't too shabby, all things considered.

It's still raining outside almost constantly, and even when it isn't raining, there's always a bit of 'I feel wet' in the air. Beany and Goldy flanked me pretty much all day, and I tried not to notice how much time they spent competing for my attention. I know why they're doing it, and it's not because I'm so amazingly irresistible, although I wouldn't object to being seen that way. It's because I'm new. Boys, whoever they are, always like the new shiny toy the best. I think it's in their genetic makeup or something.

I don't really mind it, as long as they aren't too obvious about it. They're treating Bella the same way. Which I find endlessly amusing. Of course my twin does not agree. But who cares what the emo Gordan hater thinks? Eh, no one.

Oh, right, and Beany figured out that I'm actually one of the new girls like he originally thought. It was kind of hard for him not to figure out when he saw Bella and I walk into class together. And when Goldy shouted out my name asking me to come sit by him. Beany'd have to be pretty thick not to pick up on my already obvious lie by that point. He was good about it though, and my new best friend has agreed to still call me 'Sid', which is pretty cool of him. Beany also agreed that trucks do indeed have souls. Man after my own heart right there. We ganged up on Bella about it at lunch, and she huffed at us. She is a huffing machine these days.

So, yeah, all in all, things are looking good.

Although Bella is pouting all over the place because JP (John-Paul) wasn't in school today. She moped for hours last night about the way he behaved towards her. I told her if she was that bothered then she should just walk up to him and tell him to fuck off. That's what I would do if I cared enough about the way Edward treated me. Which I don't.

Edward wasn't in school either. Not that I really noticed. It makes no difference to me what any of the Cullens do, especially Edward. The last thing I need is some sort of freaky crush on an asshole who's already decided he hates me. For whatever ridiculous reason. Because the reason must be ridiculous, I've done nothing to him, hell, I haven't even said one word to the guy.

But I'm not bothered, so it doesn't matter.

Bella definitely cares though, and her emotions show clearly in her eyes every time she looks at the Cullen's table during lunch. I wish I could snap her out of it, but I don't know what to say. My twin can be so stubborn sometimes, it drives me crazy. But then, she probably says the same thing about my insanity, so I guess we're even on that score.

On the plus side, I get to sit through bio without sir shovel face glowering at me the whole time, which is nice. Or maybe not as it means I actually had to concentrate on biology and...stuff. Bella clearly think Edward and JP aren't in school today because of us, or actually because of her, but also me by proxy. I think she's being over dramatic, there's no way the Cullen twins skipped school to avoid two people they don't know. I mean, in what world does that even remotely make sense?

There's a close call with the office minions when they finally work out that I skipped two classes yesterday. I lie and tell them I was ill. They buy it so easily and so readily, that I begin to wonder if they'd even care if I showed up only every other day. But when I posed that theory to my twin, she glared at me and said she'll drag me to school every day if she has to.

I know what you're thinking, 'aw, it's so sweet that her sister cares that much about her education'. Um, wrong. Bella just doesn't want to be known as the sister of 'Ever the high school drop out'. It has nothing to do with caring about my future, and everything to do with wanting to blend into the background and not cause waves. Apparently me causing waves equals the same amount of embarrassment for Bella.

After school my emo twin and I set off to do some food shopping. It became very apparent last night that Dad cannot cook, at least not anything that doesn't include bacon grease. So I elected to take over kitchen duty along side my trusty assistant chief, Isy the emo. I know I mention Bella being totally emo a lot, but that's only because its her main personality trait.

Today I'm wearing another one of my favourite t-shirts, it's a light blue v-neck, and it has the words 'Things to do today: 1-Get up 2-Survive 3-Go back to bed' printed on it in swirly black lettering. It's pretty much my motto for life.

When Bella and I get to the grocery store, I grab a trolley and do the usual 'run run glide' up and down each isle as we shop. After only a few isles Bella shakes her head in annoyance, and says,

"Stop it"

"Stop what?" I ask innocently.

Bella narrows her eyes at me,

"Stop...running around and...being...silly. You look like a child"

"I am a child" I reply easily, "On the inside" I add with a smirk.

"You're an idiot" Bella mutters.

"I am wonderful!" I exclaim. Loudly. Loudly enough that a lot of people turn to look at us.

"Shut up!" Bella whispers harshly at me.

"What for?" I whisper back.

"Because otherwise people will stare at us" Bella replies, still whispering.

"Who cares?"

"I care"

"Why?"

"Because I don't like being stared at"

"Why?"

"Because it makes me feel uncomfortable"

"Um, why? It's not like what these random people think of you matters"

"I know that, but I can't help feeling embarrassed anyway"

"Oh"

We've been whispering the whole time.

I allow a long pause before sidling up really close to Bella and whispering,

"Bella?"

"What?" Bella hiss-whispers into my face. Like, I think she spat on me a little bit. I need a wetwipe.

"I totally feel like a secret agent with all this whispering" My smirk shows through no matter how hard I try to mask it.

Bella levels the mother of all pissy glares at me as she says,

"I really hate you sometimes"

"Love you too, Isy" I reply, before dashing away again so she cant swipe at me with her dainty man hands.

Bella is the one who actually picks out the food. I try helping her at first, but she keeps snapping at me, so instead I continue to have fun on my own.

I let Bella be in charge, right up until we get to the frozen foods isle. Then it's my time to shine. I pick up a few tubs (ok, maybe they're more like buckets) of ice cream. Bella gives me an incredulous look when she sees them in the trolley.

"We are not buying that much ice cream, Ever" she says matter-of-factly.

Screw that noise.

I pat my sister on the head,

"Maybe we aren't, but I certainly am"

Bella gives me another mighty mouse glare and snips,

"You don't need ice cream, Ever. It's too cold"

I place a hand over my heart and say,

"One can never have enough ice cream. Weather is irrelevant"

We bicker about it for a few more minutes, but eventually Bella the bossy pants gives in and we head off home with our groceries.

...

When Bella, Dad and me are sitting down to dinner, in utter silence, as is our norm, I begin to wonder more about why the Cullen twins were out of school today. I keep telling myself not to think about them, well ok, Edward more specifically. But I figure, the more I try to pretend I'm uninterested in him, the greater chance of me doing something stupid, like actually going out of my way to talk to the asshole.

It's only natural that I want to know what his deal is. Human nature, right? Besides, I've always been on the nosy side anyway.

Dad interrupts my argument with myself (and that's about as sane as it sounds) by asking,

"So, how was school today? Did you make any new friends?"

"I made friends with Beany" I answer with a shrug, "And Bella made friends with Goldy and Chatty"

Dad looks at me in confusion, I stare back at him blankly, not understanding why he's confused. Then he looks at Bella, who sighs, and goes on to interpret my insanity for our father.

"She means that we've met a girl called Jessica and two boys, Eric and Mike." Bella bites her lip, "Mike is really...friendly"

I almost scoff. Yeah, right, 'friendly'. I swear Goldy followed me and/or Bella all day long. I wish he'd at least decide which one of us he wants to stalk already so that the restraining order process may begin. Not that I dislike Goldy exactly, I'm just not fond of being panted over by a puppy eyed boy. I hope he decides it's Bella he's in wuv with. That'd save me a lot of grief.

"That must be Mike Newton. Nice kid - nice family. His dad owns the sporting goods store just outside of town. He makes a good living off all the backpackers who come through here." Dad says.

Bella slides a look my way then, and I get a bad feeling even before she asks Dad,

"Do you know the Cullen family?"

Dad appears to think about that for a moment before answering,

"Dr. Cullen's family? Sure. Dr. Cullen's a great man."

Bella bites her lip again and says, despite my warning pinch,

"Their...kids...they're a bit...strange"

Ha, strange, more like unicorns in disguise.

Dad suprises me by sounding angry when he says,

"People in this town. Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon who could probably work in any hospital in the world, make ten times the salary he gets here," he continues, getting louder. "We're lucky to have him - lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town. He's an asset to the community, and all of those kids are well behaved and polite. I had my doubts, when they first moved in, with all those adopted teenagers. I thought we might have some problems with them. But they're all very mature - I haven't had one speck of trouble from any of them. That's more than I can say for the children of some folks who have lived in this town for generations. And they stick together the way a family should - camping trips every other weekend... Just because they're newcomers, people have to talk."

Woah. I'm impressed. Dad's never talked that passionately about anything that doesn't include meat or a gun before. He must feel pretty strongly about it.

At any rate, Bella appears to back peddle as she says,

""They seemed nice enough to me. I just noticed they kept to themselves" A breif pause and then, "They're very attractive" Bella adds, a blush staining her cheeks all of a sudden.

I face palm. Hard.

"You should see the doctor," Charlie says, laughing. "It's a good thing he's happily married. A lot of the nurses at the hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around."

I end the conversation swiftly before Bella can say anything more cringe-worthy by offering to wash up the dishes. I don't wait for answer before I grab all our plates and bung them in the sink.

I wash and Bella dries.

After we've finished that, I spoon a good helping of ice cream into a bowl and head upstairs to get some writing done, and then maybe, if school is lucky, I'll do my maths homework.

...

Nothing of note happens during the rest of the week, and for that I am eternally grateful. Bella finally seems to be unclenching her claws from the idea that moving to Forks is the worst thing since brown bread, which is good. For me, because it means I don't have to attempt to cheer her up all the time with my whimsy.

Of course then there's always the issue of two certain Cullens who didn't come back to school.

Bella still thinks it's because of us. I argue that she's got one hell of an ego for such a self hating emo child.

I couldn't seem to stop myself from thinking about Edwardo, and yes, I've started to call him Edwardo inside my head, because it somehow makes him appear less attractive to me. Mind-wise. I only have the memory of his perfect face from monday, but that's apparently enough for me to dream about the fucker. I do not appreciate my dreams being hacked into by a stone faced asshole who's lucky enough to skip school without anyone caring.

My dreams usually include me leading a spider revolution against the tarantulas, and flying sociopathic toasters attacking my home land, Narnia. God, I miss those dreams. They're heaven compared to dreaming about Edwardo kissing me against a tree. Because first of all, why a tree? Why not a bed or wall, like normal people? This is not a good time to figure out that I have some kind of tree fetish. How the hell do I explain that one to any future lovers?

'Oh, sorry, I just really like nature.' *cue stroking of tree moment* Because obviously that won't scare them away. I mean, I'm a fan of the expression 'if they really like you then they won't care about your quirks', but I think tree stroking might be pushing it.

By Friday I've gotten used to sitting through bio alone. No need to worry about Edwardo flouncing in and glaring up the place. For all I know, he's been kidnapped by a griffin and taken away to the moon.

Mine and Bella's first week in Forks passed without anyone getting killed or shot at or eaten. So far, so good.

I drag Bella to the library on the weekend, but even I have to admit that the Forks library is very bereft of reading material. We plan to visit Seattle or Olympia soon so that we can stock up on books.

On Monday we arrive at school to a parking lot full of happy waving strangers. I mean, seriously, I do not know these people, and yet they are waving and saying hi to me like I've known them my whole life, and not just a week. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, it's just one of those things a person has to get used to in such a small close knit town.

In English lit, Beany sits next to me we have good time making fun of the characters in Wuthering Heights. Because, Jesus, what is Heathcliff's problem? Dude needs to take a chill pill or something and get laid by a woman who doesn't hate him.

When we walk out of class I notice pretty quickly that it's snowing. A wide smile spreads over my face. I love snow, it's so damn beautiful. Ice, on the other hand, is a pain in the ass. It's kind of a double edged sword.

"Wow" Goldy exclaims, "Its snowing" And I'm really nice about it and don't even make any 'captain obvious' comments. I am proud of my tolerance and personal growth.

"Ew" Bella says, her face scrunching up. Bella does not approve of snow. She's such a grinch sometimes. Then again, the ice does legitimtely make me worry for my sister's life. She trips and falls over everything anyway, adding ice to mix is just asking for trouble.

"Don't you like snow?" Goldy asks Bella, sounding surprised. I share a look with Beany, he knows enough about my sister from me to understand why such a question is amusing.

"No. That means it's too cold for rain. Besides, I thought it was supposed to come down in flakes - you know, each one unique and all that. These just look like the ends of Q-tips." Bella says dispassionately.

"Haven't you ever seen snow falls before?" Goldy asks incredulously.

"We lived in Phoenix, man, remember" I cut in before Bella starts up on her sun shine soap box.

"We've seen it on TV, though" Bella supplies, totally undercutting my point. I flick her in the face for it. She glares. I grin. You know the drill.

Goldy starts laughing, but soon stops when Beany aims a snowball at his face.

Awesome, I've never had a snow ball fight before. The only thing people threw at each other in California was their trust funds.

Goldy picks up some snow and smooshes it together to make a snow ball, he lobs it at Beany, and the two boys descend into snowy chaos.

Bella quickly excuses herself, muttering about leaving once wet stuff starts getting thrown. I see my chance for tip top hilarity slipping through my fingers, and I move fast to regrasp it. I copy what I saw Goldy do and before I can decide it's a bad idea, I chuck the ball of snow at Bella's head. Pure luck strikes as Bella turns around just in time to get my snowball lodged in her face.

Epic.

Bella starts sputtering indignantly at me as I fall about laughing like a hyena on meth. Beany and Goldy apparently witnessed my grand triumph and are laughing as well.

"Oh my God, that was awesome" Beany says to me, and I get ahold of myself long enough to high five him.

I rode that amazing high all day, right up until lunch when everything came crashing back down again.

Bella clutches my arm and whispers,

"They're here"

I don't need to ask who she means. The Cullen twins are back at their usual table with the rest of their family.

I yank Bella along to the food, and everyone starts asking if my sister is ok. To be fair, she looks like she's about to throw up.

"Stop panicking,it's fine" I say to her quietly. There's no reason for either of us to feel anything about that fact that JP and Ward are back. I don't care, I don't even look over at their table. I even snap at Bella not to look, it'll only make it worse if JP is glaring at her again.

I think about skipping bio, but then berate myself. That would be caring, and I don't shive a git if Edward is in school or sitting next to me in bio or made of candy floss and glitter. None of it matters. He's just some guy. Nothing special.

Although, I know that's not exactly true. Edward is...different. But good different, or bad different? That remains to be seen.

I tell myself not to bother checking if Edward is staring at me. But then I feel it, his gaze on my back. I just know he's looking at me, and I want to catch him doing it so I'll have proof, to my own mind at least, that I'm not going crazy.

Our gazes meet. My breathe catches almost violently in my throat, despite myself. A shiver runs up my spine, and I shift my stance, trying to shake off the intense feelings welling up inside of me. I shouldn't be feeling anything. But I do, and it's pointless for me to pretend otherwise.

I'm not one for denying something that's obvious, not even to myself. Edward is definitely looking at me, and his eyes are far warmer than last time, almost curious even.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you" Bella and Chatty say at the same time.

I immediately look away from Edward, a deep sense of loss making my heart pound at the lost contact.

I become a bit defensive in the face of my own emotions,

"Yeah, well, Jon Paul is staring at you, too" I say to Bella

I don't actually know if JP is staring at Bella or not, but when I check, I see that he is indeed staring at my sister. His eyes flicker over to me very briefly, and I see something like confusion in his eyes. But his gaze flickers away again before I can analyse it.

"Did he look angry to you?" Bella asks me cautiously.

"No" I answer simply.

"Why would John Paul be angry at you?" Chatty asks.

"I don't think the Cullen twins like us" Bella admits, much to my annoyance.

"The Cullens don't like anybody... well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them." Chatty says, but then she adds, "But they're both still staring at you and Ever."

Well that's not creepy at all, is it.

I decide then that I've had enough of being stared at, and I try to convince Bella to come have lunch with me inside Gordan. Bella refuses, apparently too wrapped up in whatever Bella-ness is flittering about inside her brain. I drag Beany along with me instead, and he comes easily enough, which is very nice of him. I do like Beany, I think he might actually be a potential real best friend. Although I do notice a dark look that Goldy sends our way, I ignore it. Maybe he'll finally turn his attentions to Bella, or better yet, to Chatty, who obviously has a crush on him.

God, boys are massive dum dums sometimes.

Once Beany and me are safely inside Gordan, Beany apparently feels safe enough to say,

"Is Edward Cullen bothering you, because, if he is..."

"What? You'll defend my honour, challenge him to a dual will you?" I try really hard not to laugh. That would be hilarious, but it also might be the last thing Beany ever does. Like literally, I can imagine Edward killing him, especially with his stone family as back up.

Beany blushes slightly,

"Well, maybe not. But I write one hell of a sternly worded letter"

I bark out a small laugh,

"Oh, really?"

Beany sits forward confidently and boasts,

"Hell yeah, I'm the one who got the school paper to change their font style. It's much easier to read now"

Wait, we have a school paper?

"So, you read the school paper?" I ask dubiously.

Beany scoffs,

"Of course not, I'm not a nerd"

I have a bit of a laughing fit over that one for a few minutes.

"Maybe you should paint him a threatening picture" I suggest, thinking back to all the artwork Beany's shown me. He's actually really good.

"Nah, I don't want to scare him too badly" Beany says.

"You're a real hero, Beany" I say, patting Beany on the arm, trying not to snort in laughter again, "I wish I was brave enough to write letters about font style. But I'm just a simple unicorn"

"Just doing my duty, Sid" Beany replies with a self deprecating bow of his head."I like your t-shirt by the way"

I smile at my friend in thanks. My t-shirt is cool. It's red with the words 'Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair' printed on it. Maybe Edward will read it and take note.

...

When I get to bio, I swiftly sit down in my usual seat, determined to not allow Edward any power over me whatsoever. I hope he just ignores me. But I know that's unlikely what with all the staring that went down at lunch.

I take out my notepad begin writing a random mini story about a lonely germ living under a microscope, because really, their side of the story has to be told by someone.

But it gets hard to concentrate when I feel his eyes on me again. The chair next to me scraps across the floor as it's pulled out, and I try to ignore the heat that burns somewhere inside me at having Ward so damn close to me.

I'm all ready to ignore him completely when suddenly Ward does something that surprises the shit out of me.

"Hello" the human pebble says. His voice is quiet, and almost strangely musical, like he's speaking through some kind of musical instrument.

I look over at him, too curious at this change in attitude to ignore it. Ward is sitting far away from me still, but his chair is angled towards me. Whatever the hell that means. His incredibly handsome is friendly, even open, and that unnerves me a little. He truly is flawless, it's even more obvious now that I have the chance to really look at him up close. But that's not what intrigues me. It's the cautious look in his eyes, almost as if he's afraid of getting too close to me. It's the spark of interest and trepidation that flares in his gaze when I move just a little bit closer.

Who the fuck is this guy?

"My name is Edward" he continues, apparently oblivious to my confusion, "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Ever Swan"

I think about telling him that my name is not Ever Swan, I think about telling him to fuck off, I think about ignoring him completely. But I don't do any of those things, instead I say,

"You're kinda weird"

I almost slap myself for my words, because they comes out sounding almost accusing.

But for whatever reason it startles a laugh out of Ward, and he replies,

"Should I be taking that as a compliment coming from you?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, thinking about how much more attractive he looks when he smiles. I mean, he's completely gorgeous anyway, but that kind of beauty is cold and artificial. When he laughs though, Ward looks more human than he ever has before. I really like that.

"I think you should take it however you want to, that doesn't mean you'll be right"

Ward appears surprised at my words, but not offended. Merely more curious.

"You don't like me much, do you?" Ward asks, sounding genunely as if he wants to know.

I look him in the eye and answer honestly,

"You haven't shown me much to like"

Ward looks sad for a moment, a deep pain filling his eyes,

"I suppose that's true"

I almost feel bad for saying anything at all. I didn't mean to hurt him. Although why he'd get so upset over something like that is beyond me. I don't know him well enough to understand it. But I wish I did.

And that thought alone is enough to make him dangerous.

Before I can say anything though, Mr. Banner starts class. I attempt to concentrate as he explains the lab we would be doing today. The slides in the box are out of order. Working as lab partners, we're supposed to separate the slides of onion root tip cells into the phases of mitosis they represent and label them accordingly. We aren't supposed to use our books. In twenty minutes, he will be coming around to see who gets it right.

"Get started. And don't break any of the slides" he snaps at us. I can't help but think, jeez, keep your pants on, they're just onion slides, not the cure for cancer.

"Ladies first, partner" Ward says to me. I look up at him again, and that stupid gentle smile on his face makes something inside me flip excitedly. Damn my teenage libido.

"I'm not a lady" I say, without thinking much about it, "I'm a young woman living on the edge"

I get up to go grab our stuff before Ward can react to that one.

When I come back, Ward is waiting patiently a bemused smile on his face. I've already done this lab before, so it's pretty easy. I put the first slide in and take a look,

"Prophase." I assess confidently. Or as confident as you can be about an onion slide.

"Can I have a look?" Ward asks me. His hand reaching out to touch mine, stopping me from removing the slide. I almost gasp out loud at the fire that shoots up through my arm, a tingling sensation centering at the place where Ward is touching me. It's insane how intense it feels to be touched by him. I give him a challenging look, refusing to move my hand away before he does, and I say,

"Don't you trust me?"

Ward looks unsure for a moment, before rising to the challenge in my tone, his hand moving to cover more of mine,

"More than you trust me"

"I don't trust you at all" I say, truthfully, scanning his face for any traces of the disgust I saw last week. But all I see is open curiosity.

"Good" Ward says, "Neither do I."

I'm assuming he means he doesn't trust himself. Yeah, that feels right, that's definitely what he means. But why wouldn't he trust himself?

"Why not?" I ask, a little more heatedly than I originally intended.

Ward's eyes narrow ever so slightly, and he replies,

"It's safer that way"

Before I can ask what the frik frak he means by that, he pulls his hand away, taking the microscope in the same moment. He examines the slide and says,

"Prophase"

Well, yeah, I just said that.

Drolly I suggest,

"Maybe you should try trusting me next time"

"You think?" Ward asks wryly, his eyebrow arching in my direction.

"Best to start somewhere safe" I reply with a shrug.

"Are calling yourself, a safe place?" Ward asks, sounding as if he doesn't believe that for a moment.

I smirk at him,

"No. I just said safe would be best"

Ward seems to be fighting another smile as he says,

"If you're not the safe place, then what would you call yourself?"

A dangerous smile curls my lips as I answer,

"The most fun"

We share an easy laugh for a moment, and something between us buzzes like electricity. It's a connection I've never felt with anyone else before. I don't know what to make of it. Or if I should be worried about how it's affecting me.

Somehow despite the mutual attraction, or at least I think it's mutual, between us, we manage to finish before anyone else in the class. I could see a few people cheating by hiding the book under their desks, and Goldy is staring so hard at one of slides that I think his head might explode at any moment.

Now that we have nothing else to concetrate on, I use the time to ask Ward something that's been niggling at me since I saw him in the cafeteria today,

"Did you get contacts or something?" I ask him, gesturing at his eyes. They are no longer the ink black of before, his eyes are now almost gold, the colour of molten whisky. I quite like the change, it makes him appear less predatory, more like an ethereal fae than a frightening alien.

Ward shakes his head at me,

"No"

Hhhmm, it doesn't sound like a lie, and I'm pretty good at telling when people are fibbing. Besides, why would he even lie about that?

"You're eyes are different though" I say with complete conviction, I'm sure they've changed.

"I don't know what you mean" Ward replies, seemingly shrugging off my words.

I roll my own violet non-changing eyes at him,

"Fine. Don't tell me. It doesn't really matter"

Silence descends between us, and after a few moments I look down and notice that his hands are clenched into fists. I start to wonder if he has some kind of medical issue. Is that why he and his twin weren't in school, do they have some kind of illness that causes them random pain? Or is he just annoyed at me again for some reason.

"Do you have an anger problems?" I ask out of the blue. Great, Ever, very tactful. I only wonder because maybe being an adopted child is difficult for him. It would make sense if he had trouble dealing with his emotions over it. Maybe he lost his parents in a really bad way. Not that that's any of my business, of course.

Ward looks at me sharply,

"No" he snaps.

Is there any way for me to suggest therapy without sounding like a complete hypocrite?

I worry that I've really upset him. The obvious pain in his eyes makes me want to help him somehow. Maybe taking his mind off it will help.

"My mom tried to force me into therapy loads of times when I was younger." I say to Ward, "She thought maybe there was something genuinely wrong with me. Something she could name, and get pills for. Something that she could use to explain my weird behavior away with"

It hurt me. It hurt that my own mom thought there was something wrong with me. I mean, sure, I was a weird kid, but it's not like I ever hurt anyone. But I guess people did avoid me a lot, other kids didn't mind too much, but their parents certainly did.

Ward is watching me intently, his whiskey eyes boring into my own now.

"There's nothing wrong with you" he says, and he sounds so fucking sure, so confident in his words, that I almost want to hug him for it.

"You don't know me" I look away from him with a sigh.

My gaze darts back to Ward's though when he says,

"If I wanted to know you, would you let me?"

I open my mouth to answer, even though I'm not sure what my answer will be until I say it. But Mr. Banner interrupts us by stopping in front of our desk,

"So, Edward, didn't you think Everlyna should get a chance with the microscope?" Mr. Banner asks.

"Ever" Ward corrects, so fast that it must have been automatic. It makes me smile a little. Ward continues, "Actually Ever identified three of the five slides"

Mr. Banner looks down at me then, his expression was skeptical.

Well, now I'm offended. Apparently snippy over here thinks I can't identify onion slides. How will I ever go on? My life is now over.

"Have you done this lab before?" Mr. Snippy asks.

I almost say no, but then realise there's really no point in lying about it.

"Yep"

Snippy nods,

"You were in the advances placement program in Phoenix, yes?"

I was actually. So was Bella. The difference is that she actually likes science. Well, as much as Isy the emo can really 'like' anything. I don't hate science exactly, it's just a lot of it is too closely related to maths for my taste.

"Apparently" I smile tightly.

"Well," Snippy says after a moment, "I guess it's good you two are lab partners then."

Oh yeah, top notch. Me, the ultimate weirdo girl with an itchy writers hand, and him, the eye changing fae-boy with anger issues. Definitely a match for the stars to brag about.

Mr. Snippy walks away, muttering to himself, leaving me and Ward alone together again. Not the best idea.

"So, do you like the snow?" Ward asks.

I get the feeling that he's forcing himself to participate in the annoying art of small talk. It's like he heard what Chatty said at lunch and is trying to prove her wrong. If that's what he's aiming for, then I still have no idea if Chatty was right or not.

He's still not exactly friendly. More openly interested in hearing what I have to say. About anything, apparently. I'm just glad he's forgotten about his earlier question. I still don't know how I would have answered.

"You don't have to do this, you know?"

Ward frowns down at me,

"Do what?"

"Talk. About things you don't give a shit about"

"Maybe I do care what you think about the snow" Ward fires back at me.

I narrow my eyes at him,

"Fine. I love the snow. I also love the rain, there, happy?"

"Why do you love the rain?" Ward asks, getting that curious look in his eyes again.

I answer honestly, because why the hell not by this point,

"Because it helps me think. It washes away all the bad thoughts so that I can start over, maybe get it right the next time around. Everything always feels so new after the rain. And before you ask" because I can see where this is going, "I love the snow because it changes everything around it. Like a whole new world is created out of a few frozen drops of water"

There, he better appreciate all that, otherwise I'll thump him one over the head, the fucking asshole.

"You're passionate about the strangest things" Ward says eventually after a long pause.

I actually choke out a laugh at that,

"Oh, you have no idea"

For some reason Ward looks at me then with profound fascination in his eyes. As if what I've just said has struck a cord inside him.

"Why did you come here?" He asks suddenly, his expression now determined.

I shrug noncommittally,

"My mom remarried last September" As if that explains everything. My tone is flat.

Ward tilts his head curiously,

"And...do you not like him?"

"Nah, Phil is...well, fine. Nice. Nothing really wrong with him" I answer, not sure what else there is to say on that front. I never had a problem with Phil, I neither really liked him nor found anything about him that I hated. He was just kinda...there.

"Why didn't you stay with them?"

I have no idea why he cares, but there's something in his face that tells me he really does think my, pretty boring, life story is somehow important.

"Phil travels a lot for work."

"Did your mother send you here so that she could travel with him?" Ward asks, sounding unsure.

I shake my head,

"Nope. Bella, my sister, and I sent ourselves"

"I don't understand" Ward definitely sounds confused. Overly frustrated by his confusion as well. Maybe he's used to reading situations better.

I decide to explain, although I have no idea why.

"She stayed with us for a while. But we could see it made her unhappy to be away from him, so Bella and I agreed to come here and stay with our Dad"

"And you like it here" It's a statement, not a question.

I give him a hard look,

"I like it well enough"

"Because you like the rain" Ward says, a small smile touching his lips.

I find myself smiling back,

"Yeah, because I like the rain"

It's a nice moment, and I allow myself to truly appreciate it. Maybe...maybe I was wrong. Edward and I could be friends. There's not really any reason we couldn't be. As long as this version of him is the one that sticks around.

Although I have to ask,

"What's with the sudden interest? Why do you care about any of this?"

"I have absolutely no idea" Ward replies, and he says it so honestly, that I find myself liking him even more. I feel better knowing he doesn't know why he's drawn to me any more than I know why I'm drawn to him. It makes us equals in a way that I was struggling to see us as before.

Mr. Snippy calls the class to order then, and part of me is relieved. I don't know how much more intense talking with Ward I could handle. Ward seemed truly into our conversation, but he was still leaning away from me the whole time. Like he was trying to restrain himself, so that he wouldn't launch himself at me. Which is odd. I mean, I know I'm sexy as hell, but I'm not that sexy. No one is.

Once the bell tolls, Ward leaves class just as quickly as he did on Monday. I stare after him in confusion.

I meet up with Bella by Gordan after school. She looks distracted, and I know I definitely am.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask her as we climb inside our trusty rust bucket.

Bella bites her lip for a moment, and then turns to me,

"He spoke to me"

Oh, God, we're not gonna play the pronoun game, are we?

"Who?" I ask.

"John. He sat next to me in class and actually spoke to me!" Bella looks like she isn't sure what to make of that.

"Really?" I say, "Looks like the Cullen twins are friendlier this week then"

Bella peers at me curiously,

"Why, did Edward speak to you?"

I shrug, trying to look casual,

"Yeah. He did. Asked a lot of questions"

Bella nods in understanding,

"John asked me a lot of questions too"

Ok, this is getting a little strange. But I don't know how to describe the feeling Edward incites inside me. It's not like anything I've ever experienced before, so I can't compare it to any other feeling I've felt in the past.

I look out the window, towards where all the Cullens are standing by their cars. I almost jump when I realise Ward is looking at me. I raise an eyebrow at him and mock salute him with two fingers. A smile brightens his face and he mock salutes back at me. I see that JP is staring right at Bella as well. My emo twin is blushing like crazy.

In that moment I don't know which one of us is more screwed.


	3. Phenomenon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh  _God_   **NO**!"

That is what wakes me up.

Now, I don't know about you, but when someone starts shouting in manic distress in the early hours of the morning, I expect some serious shit to be going down. Like a tornado. Or an alien invasion. Or...I dunno, ice cream stealers rampaging all over the house. Don't laugh, I know they're out there. Those bastards. That's why all ice cream must be hidden under the frozen peas. It's just good sense.

In any case, my first reaction is to roll out of bed and grab Kevin, my bat sidekick. I spring up like a ninja, Kevin raised, ready for battle.

After a few tired blinks though, I realise it was Bella who was making all that racket, and I immediately calm down. My twin gets freaked out by the stupidest things, and I'm sure this time is no exception.

Bella is staring at me like I'm a raving lunatic,

"What the hell are you doing?" she shouts at me.

Bella eyes Kevin warily. I still have him raised in the air; just in case Bella has turned into a killer zombie during the night.

Wait,  _killer_  zombie? Is there any other type of zombie? Are there vegetarian zombies?

Like Casper the friendly ghost. Is there, like, Martin the whimsical zombie? Just a thought. Ha, another story is forming in my mind!

Dammit, now my hand is twitching!

Bella is still staring at me. I think she's waiting for me to answer her question or something.

"I was preparing to defend you" I say with a shrug, finally lowering Kevin to my side.

Bella scrunches up her nose at me,

"Protect me from what?"

"You tell me, you were the one who woke up Kevin. Now he is full of pent up rage" I answer simply. I mean it hardly needs explaining, does it?

Isy the emo gestures out the window, and I jump off my bed to go take a look at what has her so excited. I whistle when I see what has Bella so upset. It's pretty obvious what has happened. I turn to my twin and say,

"Alright, who shoved our house through the wardrobe?"

Bella crosses her arms,

"What are you talking about now?"

I waggle my finger at her,

"Quick, call Aslan, he'll know what to do!"

Bella gives me another clueless look, and I count to ten so I won't throttle her where she stands.

"Bet it was the Snow queen, she's always hated you" I say.

"You're being weird again" Bella huffs at me with an annoyed groan.

I make an exasperated sound,

"Clearly we are in Narnia!" I gesture manically beyond the window to the winter wonderland outside.

"Or, it just snowed a lot last night" Bella argues emphatically.

Some people really aren't any fun at all.

I slap my forehead,

"Fine, if you want to go for the most obvious answer"

Bella throws her hands up,

"That's the  _only_  answer, Ever! That's what  _happened!_ "

"Says you" I mutter.

"You look like a crazy person!" Bella says, gesturing at Kevin and then my Scream movie t-shirt and Harry Potter shorts.

"I look badass" I reply with a self assured grin. Besides, she's the one who wears socks to bed. Who the hell wears socks in bed? Freakazoids, that's who!

"Imagine if Edward saw you swinging a bat around like that, what would you do then?" Bella snips in utter frustration.

"I'd let Kevin have at him and hit Ward in the face for being in my house uninvited, and I should hope you would do the same" I answer honestly, and then I flick her on the nose, "And HE is not just a bat, HE has a name. It's Kevin, as you well know"

Edwardo is so not meeting Kevin, he is not worthy of such greatness.

"What is wrong with you?" She snaps, but we both know it's more of a rhetorical question if anything.

The twitching in my hand gets even worse.

"Bed bugs" I murmur, distractedly, going over to my desk so I can start writing before my hand literally falls off from twitching so violently.

Bella scoffs from behind me, but I'm far from caring now. I don't even remember what we were talking about. I'm in the damn zone, people.

I think my emo twin tries to talk to me a couple more times, but I really need to get this story out, and nothing else around me seems to matter when I'm like this. I know it's weird, and I know it doesn't make sense, but something inside my mind, my soul, just forces the words out of me. I need to write. It's like breathing for me.

It's like I'm a dolphin, and I can stay under water for a long time without needing that sweet fresh air, but sometimes I just have to come up and allow myself to breathe. Otherwise the bad feeling twists and turns inside my body, making my heart thud like crazy, my hands shake and my lungs tighten.

Maybe it's a psychological thing. Maybe I'm just a freak. But it doesn't really matter, I still need to breathe. Just like a dolphin. It's when I feel the most alive. And I crave that. When I write, it feels like I can do anything, be anyone, like I can fly up and up and up and never stop until I have to float back down again afterwards.

I wouldn't give up that feeling, that complete and endless madness, even I could.

So colour me insane.

Strangely though, I'm brought out of my 'mental state', by one train of thought. A train of thought that I haven't been able to get rid of since bio yesterday.

Edward Cullen.

The strange guy with the changing eyes and the perfect face and the intimate questions and the oddest little quirks that make me like him more than I should. Ward. He's stuck inside my head. Those eyes of his. I can't scrub them out, no matter what I do.

It's very frustrating. Especially because I don't understand why. I don't  _know_  him. But I  _want_  to. And I can't say that's ever happened to me before.

I know that Bella is thinking about JP too, and I can't help but question if she feels the same way that I do. Does she see the sadness in his eyes? Does she notice the frustration in his every movement? Does she wonder how someone so inhuman looking, can make her heart beat with such  _life_?

His beauty barely registers with me anymore, although it is stunning. No, I'm drawn in by all the things I can't see, not the ones I can. I'm drawn to all the things I'm sure he hides just beneath the surface, like blood rushing toward a bruise. He fascinates me in a way that no one else ever has. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

I think I'll have to kill him. That is the only logical solution. Maybe I can trick Beany into helping me. He's easy like that.

When we get to school, Bella jumps out first, looking, for once, eager to get into school. Now who's the freak. But I know it has very little to do with school itself, and everything to do with a certain Cullen twin. And, really, who am I to judge her for that? It's not like I'm completely immune to...well...you know...stuff.

Yeah, lets go with stuff for now, shall we.

I reach into the back of Gordan to grab my bag. And that's when it happens. I sit up just in time to see a van come hurtling towards me. It's actually nothing like the movies, I have plenty of time to shit myself in fear.

Although my immediate worry is not for myself, but for Bella, who I know in that moment will get the full impact of the van. I hear myself scream out her name and brace myself for the van hitting Gordan at very nearly full speed.

The hit comes hard, harder than I expected, and Gordan actually begins to topple like a lightweight boxer. But before I can get crushed by Gordan being shoved the fuck over, the door on my side is ripped off, and I mean that literally. It all happens so damn fast, but there's no mistaking a whole freakin' door being ripped off. I feel solid stone arms wrap around me and yank my body from the vehicle at a speed that is more than just inhuman. It's impossible.

Whoever has hold of me rolls us away from Gordan, somehow protecting me from harm. Mostly. But I can live with a few bruises.

We end up rolling down the grassy hill leading up to the parking lot. Eventually I find myself trapped beneath a cold, hard body. And all I can feel is a strange kind of relief.

My brain feels like it's rattling around inside my head because of all the fucking movement, so it takes a few moments for everything to come back into focus. When it finally does, I realise that I'm staring up dazedly into the face of the person who has been haunting my dreams.

And, for one intense, mind whirring moment, our eyes connect and emotion blooms inside of me like an angry flower. I see so much emotion reflected back at me through Edward's gaze- harsh protectiveness, possessive desire, and, the most strangely human of all, gut wrenching fear.

It's him though. Edward. My Edward.

Well not  ** _mine,_**  but, you know what I mean.

Shut up.

My hearing comes back just about then, and I hear people screaming and yelling. The parking lot has surely been thrown into chaos.

Oh, shit, Bella!

"Bella!" I choke out, my throat rough for some reason.

I begin to struggle underneathe Edward, but he holds me still somehow, his voice now in my ear, clearer and louder than all the shouting,

"Ever, talk to me! Are you alright? Tell me you're alright!" He sounds panicked.

I puff out a frustrated breathe and reply,

"I'm fine, I promise...now get off me, God, what are you, a walking talking boulder, for fucks sake."

Edward actually laughs a little, although I can hear the strain in it. He slowly begins to let me go, his iron grasp on my body loosening somewhat. Edward pulls me to my feet in one fluid motion. One thing is for certain, Ward is definitely a ninja. Maybe he is worthy of meeting Kevin after all.

Once I get my feet under me properly, and am sure I won't fuck right over again, I pull away a little more from Ward, needing a little distance so I can think properly. I narrow my eyes at him suddenly.

"How the hell did you do that?"

Instead of answering my question, Ward says,

"Bella's fine, my brother has her, he saved her from getting hit by the van"

Nice try, shovel face, but I'm not falling for it.

"How did you rip that door off?" I ask him, quietly, moving closer, hoping that will help, "How did you get me out of Gordan so fast?"

Again Ward tries to deflect by making a confused face and asking,

"Who's Gordan?"

I roll my eyes,

"The truck. His name is Gordan. Stop trying to change the subject"

"Why would you name a truck, Gordan?" Edward asks, seeming genuinely interested for some reason.

I have to pause at that and poke him in the chest,

"I didn't name him, stupid, his name was already Gordan"

"And you know this because..." Ward raises an eyebrow, trailing off so I can finish his sentence.

I shake my head in annoyance,

"He told me. Obviously"

Edward seems to choke on another laugh,

"Your truck spoke to you. How?"

And you know what the weirdest thing is, he doesn't even sound like he's humouring me. It's like he really believes I can talk to trucks. Either this guy is as crazy as I am, or he's seen some pretty fucked up shit in his life.

"Telepathically" I answer with a shrug.

Edward seems to consider my answer for a few moments, and then nods,

"Makes sense"

Does it? To  _who_?

And we are getting so far off topic.

I step even closer to him, thinking about the last few minutes, playing it over and over again inside my mind. I know I'm not wrong. He ripped my door off, and he pulled me out of the car at an impossible speed. He was nowhere near Gordan right before the collision either.

Edward seems to sense something in me, because he stops smiling in amusement and his body tenses all over. I lock eyes with him and ask, almost whispering,

"What  ** _are_**  you?"

He looks frozen in place, unable to move or speak, and for a moment I regret asking the question. But that moment passes quickly. I want to know. I need to know. Now.

I reach out and take his hand in mine, and he doesn't even flinch away like I expected him to,

"Tell me" I ask gently, but firmly. I want an answer, but I'm willing to let him work out how to tell me first if he needs to.

I see Edward struggle with what to say, his mind working overtime to come up with a lie, and then after that a way of speaking the truth without frightening me. I don't know how I know all that, but I can feel it. I can feel it as surely as I feel my own emotions raging through me right now.

Finally Edward opens his mouth to say something, and my heartbeat accelerates. But before he can get a word out, I hear Bella call out my name from the top of the grassy hill.

For fucks sake emo twin!

Something seems to snap back into Edward, and he pulls his hand from mine, distancing us, not just physically either. I can feel him shutting down on me, and I hate it.

"Let's go back up" He says, his voice hard as steel.

I hold my ground though,

"No, not until you've told me the truth"

Edward grits his jaw in frustration and runs a hand through his hair, watching me intently for a few moments, before shaking his head and saying,

"Not now"

"Then when?" I snap, not willing to let this go, it's too important.

"Later" Edward replies steadily, his gaze still latched onto mine, pleading.

"Do you promise?" I ask harshly, my eyes narrowed.

A very long moment passes between us, or at least it feels that way, before Edward sighs heavily,

"I give you my word"

That'll have to do then.

Edward and I make our way up the grassy hill, Ward offers me his help, which I pointedly ignore. I am perfectly capable of walking up a damn hill without assistance. Just because he saved me from getting crushed like a woodlouse, doesn't all of a sudden make me a fucking damsel in distress.

When I reach Bella, I tug her into a hard embrace, checking her over quickly for any signs of broken bones or internal bleeding. When I see neither, I lean back and quirk an eyebrow at my sister. Bella gives me a strange look and gestures ever so slightly at JP, then I watch as their eyes lock for a nanosecond, a flare of anger sparking between them.

I look back at Edward. He's staring at me, his eyes still seeming to check me all over, as if looking for any signs of injury. He doesn't even appear sorry for all the damn staring of my body he's doing. Fucking Ward. And damn him for making something inside me mellow at the thought if him caring so much. Those kind of thoughts do not belong inside my head. Not where Ward is concerned anyway.

It takes eight EMTs and two teachers, Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp, to shift all the other kids far enough away from us to bring the stretchers in. Edward, John and I vehemently refuse ours, and Bella tries to do the same, but JP tells them she's hit her head and probably has a concussion. I know Edward is about to say something similar about me, but I give him my best warning glare. If he rats me out, then I'll kick his ass.

Edward seems amused by my anger, and just to stop him from being an asshole, I ask if he can give me a lift to the hospital. He looks uncertain at first, but then I whisper to him that there's no way I can explain away what happened and how I escaped serious injury, if people think I was still actually in the truck. We come to a sort of wordless truce. He'll keep his mouth shut about me being 'injured', and I'll keep mine shut about him going all bullshit superman.

I have to stop myself from laughing when I see the look of horror and humiliation on Bella's face as they put on the neck brace. She's fine, as far as I can tell. Then Dad shows up and I hide from him in Edward's car. Let him go gaga over Isy the emo for once. Dad goes in the ambulance with Bella, and JP ends up getting in the car with me and Edward as we set off for the hospital, rather covertly.

After a few long moments of silence between the three of us, I turn to JP, who's sitting in the back, and say,

"Thank you"

He meets my gaze for a moment, and then replies,

"What for?"

"Saving my sister" I answer, "I kinda owe you both for life now. Better think of ways for me to pay out my eternal servitude or something."

"Sounds interesting" Edward murmurs.

JP just stares at me, one eyebrow arched in wry amusement.

"One word of advice though, I suck at ironing, so just keep that in mind." I add with a shrug.

Edward snorts out a laugh at that, and I find myself smiling. I really do love his laugh, it's so real and honest, like he rarely ever laughs. It makes it special somehow.

"We'll write you up a list" JP says, his tone slightly mocking.

"Just make sure you laminate it, or there's really no point" I snark back at him.

Edward laughs again, and I see him make brief eye contact with JP in the rearview mirror. They share a look that seems to suggest that Edward has spoken about me before and is saying 'see what I mean', and JP is answering back 'Yeah, I totally see it now'.

Rude. Cullens are mean. Beautiful, fucking weird, and  _mean._

...

It doesn't take us long to find Bella. She's sitting on a bed looking irate and annoyed. So, basically, it's business as usual.

Isy the emo glares at the three of us and snaps at me,

"How come you didn't have to ride in the ambulance? You were the one who was actually in the car"

I ignore her question, Cullen stylie, and ask my twin,

"Where's Dad?"

Bella sighs dramatically,

"I don't know, he said something about finding a doctor to check me over properly."

"He's probably getting Carlisle" JP says passively, and I notice that his eyes are fixed on my sister like he thinks at any moment she might burst into flames. It's pretty intense. Who'd have thought Edward was the happy-go-lucky twin?

"I still can't believe you left me alone with those EMT's, Ever" Bella grouses at me, crossing her arms.

I shrug at her,

"Not my fault that I had the good sense to hide"

"And to blackmail me" Edward's adds with a definite smirk.

I'm not sure if I like a smirking Ward, it makes him look a little dangerous. Predatory even. Maybe a little bit sexy, but like fuck am I ever admitting  _that_ out loud.

I mock sputter, placing a hand over my heart and widening my eyes comically at Edwardo,

"I would never do such a thing! How very  _dare_  you, I shall have you arrested for slander my good sir!"

"I  _dare_   **you"**  Ward's smirk gets wider, a challenge entering his whiskey eyes once more.

I smile menacingly up at him,

"I happen to know the Chief of police, and he owes me a favour. So, rock-boy, better think about getting yourself a lawyer! A good one."

"I'll get right on that, Wednesday" Edward quips back at me.

I huff out a laugh, because that was actually pretty clever,

"You did not just compare me to Wednesday from the Adams family"

"But it fits so well oh mighty pale one" Ward argues.

Oh that  _bitch_.

I gesture flippantly at him,

"Ha! Says the one who looks like a boulder covered in flour!"

Edward opens his mouth to retort, with something scathing I'm sure (hear the sarcasm people!), but Bella interrupts us, her expression one of wary suspicion as she looks between me and Ward,

"Did you both hits your heads? Hard."

JP is now staring at his brother, his eyes disbelieving and surprised,

"You really weren't kidding" he intones, looking at me with renewed interest. But not the good kind. No, more like I'm a new kind of disease he wants to study, but not get very close to. "Has she drugged you, or something?"

I narrow my eyes at JP,

"Hey, I-"

" _She_ , has a name, brother" Ward says, jumping to my defense, his own expression now hard as granite. Bastard. I don't need him to get pissed at his brother for not respecting me. I have Kevin for that.

Bella sucks in a hard breathe, her gaze darting between the Cullen twins.

After that a very long staring contest occurs, which for any other two boys would look like a pissing contest, but with the Cullen's it appears much more than that. The way they watch each other is that of two predators marking what they believe to be their territory.

I can't decide if that's offense to me and my sister, or just hot. Or both. There is something horribly wrong with me.

Eventually though, something seems to pass between the two Cullen twins, leaving Edward looking pleased with himself. I guess that means he was the victor of that silent Cullen showdown. I'm oddly proud of him. Which makes no sense at all.

JP's eyes flicker to meet mine,

"Ever, I apologise for being disrespectful"

I blink in surprise, as does Bella. I quirk an eyebrow at JP,

"That's ok, it's been a stressful morning so far, no worries"

Just then a doctor walks around the corner and my eyes widen. Bella sounds like she's choking when she catches sight of him. I can't blame her. Dr. Sexbomb has got to be the most attractive person I've ever seen. Like, seriously, I'm not even exaggerating. No wonder the nurses around here have a hard time concentrating.

I'm guessing this is Edward's 'father'. He's got the same pale 'otherworld' look as the rest of the Cullens. What did they all do, catch ' _I'm so damn pretty_ ' disease? It's almost disturbing.

"Holy crap, what 'make me beautiful' pond did you drink from?" I want to slap myself. Why do words come out of my mouth? Why do I speak? And what the hell does my brain think a 'make me beautiful' pond is?

Dr. Sexbomb's eyes rake over me for a moment, and when he meets my gaze, his lips turn up into a small secret smile. It's kind of like Edward's smile when he's trying hard not to laugh at something I've said. Edwardo himself isn't even attempting to hide his own amusement as he laughs loudly at my left shoulder.

But blissfully doesn't mention my insanity, instead turning to Bella and asking,

"So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine" Bella says tightly.

Dr. Sexbomb moves over to the lightboard on the wall over Bella's head, and turns it on.

"Your X-rays look good," he says. "Does your head hurt? Your father said you hit it pretty hard."

I can tell from Bella's expression that she's thinking 'how the hell would he know, he wasn't even there'. I suppress a smile, but Bella glares at me, once again seeming to read my mind. Evil emo twin power unite!

"I'm fine" Bella repeats.

Dr. Sexbomb checks out Bella's skull.

"Tender?" He asks.

"No. I'm fine" Bella says for a third time, and by now even I'm getting tired of it.

JP scoffs. Bella glares even harder at him. I smirk. So does Edward. We share a look that says 'having a twin sucks sometimes'.

Just then our Dad materialises out of nowhere, a pensive expression on his face, and I know immediately that things are about to get awkward. I am not wrong.

"Bella, are you feeling ok?" Dad asks, although he's actually looking at Dr. Sexbomb when he says it.

"I'm fine, Ch-Dad" Bella grits out, then her eyes narrow on me, "Look, Ever is here! She was inside the truck when it got hit, you know"

Oh, that little traitor! Treason! Off with her head I say!

Dad turns on me so fast that I'm afraid he might have hurt himself.

"Ever, you were in the truck? Why weren't you there when the ambulance came? Are you alright?" He fires all these concerned questions at me.

I search for some kind of excuse, and my mind lands on,

"They kidnapped me" I wave accusingly at Edwardo and J-MC-Pissy-face.

JP practically chokes on his own indignation. Edward coughs out a laugh and replies evenly,

"We kept her in the trunk"

"See" I say smugly, "The walking rock admits to kidnapping me"

Edward makes a mock confused face,

"Who said anything about kidnapping you? Putting you in the trunk was so we wouldn't have to hear you talk. That's just good sense."

Asshat.

Dad looks confused and pissed off. Dr. Sexbomb looks amused and a bit startled by both my words and his own son's behavior, as if Edward is acting very strangely. Bella looks annoyed and tired. And emo, as always. JP looks stunned and...rock-like.

"What the hell is going on?" Dad snaps, sounding somehow befuddled and angry at the same time.

There's a long pause. An awkward pause. Things are indeed very awkward. So naturally, what with me being, well,  _ **me**_ , some part of my brain decides to make things even more awkward by forcing me to open my mouth and say in my best FBI voice, (and yes, I have practiced different FBI voices),

"Hello. I am Special Agent Swan Lake." I gesture at JP and Ward, "These are my partners, Special Agent Stone and Special Agent Stony." I wave dismissively at Bella "This is our intern/lackey, Isy-tron. And we, are here to investigate"

You would think I'd stop there. You would think that some part of my brain would be able to wrestle the insanity into submission by this point. You would be wrong. Very wrong. Because I hasten to add in an even deeper voice, my BOSS-man movie narrator voice,

"Never fear, Ever is here!"

There is another long pause. And then,

"Agent Swan lake, huh" Ward looks me up and down speculatively.

I nod once and roll my shoulders back,

"Veronica Mars ain't got nothin' on me"

Yet another long pause.

"I think you might be a bit broken" Edward says quietly to me.

I turn to him, and reply honestly,

"Non-refundable, bitch"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out to-sydney_b. You rock. Hard. xxx


	4. Invitations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) x

Fae. Vampire. Werewolf. Alien. Batman.

Those are my five guesses.

Those are the five things I think Edward might be. And his family. Because, and I know it's just a wild guess, I'm almost positive that the secret Edward is hiding includes his family. A family secret. Which is great, because family secrets are the best kind of secrets! They're the most appallingly fucked up.

But that's just the writer in me talking. Almost every other part of my mind is wondering if I've finally lost the last fucking shred of my sanity. Not that there was much there to begin with, but still.

Personally, I'm kinda rooting for alien. Mostly because I've always wanted to be friends with someone who owns a spaceship. I mean, if I were super rich, I would buy my own spaceship. In fact, to anyone out there who is a billionaire, and haven't already bought themselves a spaceship, I strongly suggest you hand over your money to me. Because you are spending it wrong.

Actually, that thought is the reason I'm wearing one of my newest t-shirts today. Bella bought it for me last Christmas. It's white, and has the words  **'Money can't buy you happiness. But then again; have you ever seen an unhappy person on a jetski?'**  written on it in fancy style silver lettering.

Everything has been a little boring ever since the 'incident', where Gordan was viciously assaulted by a guy named Tyler. I have, however, dubbed him the truckbasher, Bash for short. Bash has been sitting with us every day in school for the last month. Or at least all the times I've been there. Most of the time I'll steal Beany or occasionally Bella away to go have lunch somewhere else, anywhere else.

Edwardo, the little shit, has been ignoring me. He hasn't been rude exactly, or unkind, just sort of dismissive. Which is slowly pissing me off. At first he managed to convince me that he needed time to talk it over with his family. Well, he didn't use those exact words, but I'm not an idiot, I know whatever he tells me has to be run by the Cullen clan first.

But now I know he's just putting off the inevitable. Because him telling me the truth _ **is**_  inevitable. Either I'll get it out of him via Kevin beating, or I'll start guessing. Hey, I can Google shit just fine. Cold, rock hard body. Super strength. Super speed. Unnatural beauty. Paleness. It doesn't take a fucking genuis, ok.

I might be wrong though, and some part of me hopes so, because if Edwardo is actually something genuinely dangerous, then I don't know what I'll do. Obviously JP is ignoring Bella as well, which I'm actually grateful for. See, I barely trust myself around Edward, so I really don't trust my dum dum sister with JgrumpmuffinP. If they are dangerous, then it's most likely Bella who will get eaten first. I'm just calling it like I see it.

I also think maybe I'm letting my imagination run away with me. My mind has a tendency to create stories out of nothing, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for me to fabricate some kind of elaborate supernatural conspiracy based on very bare facts. But there's this little voice inside my head that keeps niggling at me, insisting that I am right, that there is something going on. Something big. Something potentially mind blowing.

I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that. Which is why I haven't pushed as much as I could have.

Bella is just as confused as I am, possibly more so, since JP is treating her like crap again. He won't even look at her, or acknowledge her, and I swear if he sneers in her direction one more fucking time, I will fuck. Him. Up. No jokes.

At least Edward is just acting like I'm his annoying cousin with dandruff, and not like I'm a deadly disease. That's progress, right?

I'm beginning to worry about Bella though, she's getting a tad obsessed, and it's scary. I mean, it's mostly just hilarious. Because, come on, the thought of  _Bella_  a.k.a Isy the emo, getting all tied in knots over some asshole guy, no matter how strange and interesting he may be, is ridiculous enough to be funny. And sad. But mostly funny.

Mom still thinks Isy the emo is depressed, and at first I was like, 'yeah, she's been that way since she hit puberty, what else is new, mom'. But our mother is insistent on me keeping an eye on Bella and reporting back to her.

I do not stalk. I do not snitch. And I especially don't obsess over my sisters mood swings. Bella isn't a baby, she doesn't need me following her around all the time. Don't get me wrong, I truly love my sister, and I would do anything for her, including murder JP just so she can get a good nights sleep. And maybe for fun too. But getting weird and obssessy over a boy at age 17 isn't exactly unheard of, in fact I'm pretty sure it's expected.

Even if the boy in question is a walking mountain with anger issues. Just like his brother, the animated pebble.

I know by now you're all wondering, 'is it really necessary for her to make so many rock jokes?'. My answer is yes. Yes it is. Never let me said that Ever Swan let a comedy opportunity slip through the cracks.

Horrifyingly, there's gonna be some kind of dance thingy soon. I know this because Chatty won't stop talking about it. She's actually on the phone right now with Bella, and even from just hearing Bella's side of the conversation, I know what Chatty is asking my twin. She wants to know if Bella is planning on asking Goldy to the dance. Which is why I'm laughing so hard that I think I might have broken a rib.

It suddenly becomes less funny though when Bella thrusts the phone into my hand, and I have to put up with the same inane questions. I tell her firmly that there is no way her asking Goldy to the dance...thingy...mabobby, would ever be a problem for me. I wondered why on earth she thought it would be a problem for me, and I feared for a moment that I'd been somehow given Goldy the impression that I wanted to ask him to the dance.

Just for the record, no offense to dances or Goldy, but I'd rather stab myself. In the eye. With a spork.

"Are you sure you don't mind... you weren't planning to ask him?" Chatty asks, for about the billionth time.

You can't see this, but internally, I am sighing so fucking hard right now.

"Nope. Goldy is all yours, just be gentle with him, he is but a simple soul"

Bella hits me on the arm and glares, mouthing, 'you sound ridiculous'. I mouth back 'so does your face'.

Ah, the 'so is your face' comeback, it never gets old.

But the next day, I see that the worst has happened. Chatty is not her usual bouncy self, and even though part of me rejoices in the less 'bubbly' atmosphere, I still feel bad that she's upset. Clearly Goldy has turned her down, for whatever stupid reason. It makes no sense, Chatty is hot. If I was a guy, or gay, I'd so totally tap that. But then I also wouldn't be able to use phrases like 'tap that', without sounding like a douche.

I notice some major tension at lunch, as Chatty sits as far away from Goldy as she can, and steals the attention of my best friend, Beany. God, I hate this high school bullshit.

Goldy and I end up walking to class together, and from the glances he keeps sending my way, I almost consider skipping the class altogether to escape the conversation I am sure is about to take place between us. But, I know nothing good ever came from postponing the inevitable (I AM LOOKING AT YOU ROCK-BOY!), so I don't run away like a little bitch. I stay, and face the, slightly annoying, music.

I take my usual place next to Edwardo, the same buzz of attraction sparking between us as I do so. I ignore it. But my heart lurches anyway when Ward moves a little closer. Damn traitorous body!

Not long after class starts, Goldy leans over from his desk to say,

"So, Jessica asked me to the dance"

I put as much fake enthusiasm in my voice as possible, and attempt to make it sound real,

"Oh, that's really, really, great! You'll definitely have a good time with her"

Seriously, where is my OSCAR! Move over Gwyneth Paltrow, there's a new bitch on the block, and she deserves a Tony for pretending to care about so much high school bullshit.

Goldy looks at me awkwardly,

"Yeah, well...I kind of told her I had to think about it"

Ouch.

"Um, why?" Because what else is there to say to that?

Goldy flushes darkly and says, sounding a little nervous,

"I was wondering if... well, if you might be planning to ask me."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Damn it, why is it always me who has to deal with these things? Why not Isy the emo? She's the one with all the obvious sex appeal. And yes, just for the slow people out there reading this, that was sarcasm. Very, very, very, persnickety sarcasm.

But now I feel guilty, because despite how bothersome I find Chatty, I still didn't want to hurt her, even if not directly, it still kinda counts. It doesn't help my freaked out feeling when I see Edward very obviously twitch in my direction, cocking his head as if paying rapt attention without having to actually look my way. Bastard.

"Goldy, I think you should stop being stupid and say yes to Chatty"

"Chatty?" Goldy asks, sounding bewildered.

I wave my hand,

"Uh, yeah, Chatty, the one who...says...a lot...of...words" Like, seriously, she never shuts up. Which is fine. Totally fine. Ish.

Goldy frowns,

"Do you mean Jessica?"

I mentally slap my forehead. Clearly the force is not as strong in this one. I nod absently.

Goldy smiles slightly,

"Ah, so it's like how you call me Goldy because I'm like the Golden boy, right"

Uh, ok.

"Yeah, sure" Because I so completely did not name you Goldy because you have the personality of a goldfish. That would be mean. (And factually correct).

"Did you already ask someone?" Goldy asks, his eyes flickering over to Edwardo for a few seconds, causing me to groan a little on the inside. Now I will have to kill JPissy, Edwardo AND Goldy, so that no one will ever know of this conversation.

I shake my head,

"Nah, I'm not even going to the dance"

"Why not?" Goldy demands, and I have to resist the major urge to slap him. He is so lucky that Kevin is banned from school. (Like literally, he was banned from my school in Phoenix. God, you break one meat head jock's nose, and suddenly you're a dangerous weapon).

"My sister and I are going to Seattle" I reply, supplying my sister with an alibi whilst I'm at it just in case Goldy was gonna try something sneaky.

Goldy frowns hard,

"Can't you go some other weekend?"

Alright, that's it.

"No, and even if I wasn't going to Seattle, I still wouldn't be going to dance. And I especially wouldn't ask y-" I cut myself off before I say something nasty. My temper abates slightly as I imagine how it must look from Goldy's side. It's not his fault that he's an arrogant idiot sometimes, it comes with the territory of being a teenage boy.

"You should say yes to Chatty, though" I add quickly, and as kindly as I can manage.

"Yeah, you're right" Goldy says, sounding hurt and rejected. I don't feel guilty exactly, because I never promised him anything, but hurting him was never my plan either. But, then, I notice something in his eyes. He doesn't actually look that upset, in fact he almost looks relieved. It's almost as if...almost as if he's just pretending to want me to ask him, although he still looks put out at the thought of going with Chatty. Which means, basically, that he doesn't really want to go with either of us. I ponder on that for a moment. Why would Gody bother going at all if he doesn't want to?

I sigh and attempt to tune back into the lesson.

That becomes impossible however when I suddenly realise I'm being stared at by, you guessed it, Edwardo. He's watching me curiously, and for some odd reason goosebumps appear on my skin. A gentle shiver runs down my spine at the intense look in his now black as night again eyes.

I stare back, openly, wondering what his problem is now. I expect him to look away soon enough, just like he always does when our eyes catch, but this time he doesn't look away. If anything his expression is now more earnest and interested than it has ever been before.

"Mr Cullen?" The teacher asks, interrupting mine and Ward's staring contest. Which is annoying because I so would have won. I boss at staring contests.

"The Krebs Cycle," Edward answers a question I wasn't paying attention to. He appears reluctant to look away from me.

I look away from him first. I will not allow my life to be dictated by some guy, no matter how strangely compelling he may be. I am not weak. I am not dependant on anyone else's approval or validation. I am just me, and that's all I need.

So, for the rest of the lesson, I ignore him as best I can, even when I feel his eyes back on me. I don't look up at him, not even once. Take that rock-boy.

But when the class bell rings, and I turn around, expecting him to rush off as usual, he's still fucking standing there. Staring at me. Before I can stop myself, I'm glaring at him.

"Ever?" He says, his voice low and smooth. It makes me feel...a lot of things. I really don't want to think about how comforting hearing his voice is to me. Because it makes no sense at all. Most of the time I'm ok with something not making sense, but in this case I really need it to.

"What the hell do you want?" I snap at him.

"Nothing" Ward answers, sounding, the son a bitch, a little amused at my ire.

I will kill him with my math book.

"Leave me alone" I say, getting up and moving away from him.

"I'm sorry, but no" He says, following me out of the room as I walk away.

"What do you mean, no?" I ask, making it crystal clear that he can fuck off at any time.

"I know I'm being rude, but...it's better this way" Edward explains, sounding unsure at his own statement. His expression is serious though.

"Well, goodie for you, then rock-boy" I reply sweetly, speeding up a little.

Edward speeds up to, reaching my side again.

"It's better if we're not friends, trust me"

"I don't trust anything about you" I say, firm and harsh. But true nonetheless.

For a moment Ward appears truly pained, as if my words actually made some sort of massive impact on him, which can't possibly be real. Why would me not trusting him matter?

"I know" He murmurs quietly, sadly, "You don't trust anyone"

That makes me pause, I narrow my eyes at him,

"You think I don't trust anyone, just because I don't trust you?"

Edward levels his gaze with mine, looking just as pissed off as I feel,

"No, I know you don't trust anyone because I  _know_  you  _think_  you don't need anyone"

"You don't know  _anything_ " I fire back at him, my heart beating fast in my chest at the intensity of both his words and the emotion in his eyes.

"You're not as mysterous as you think you are" Edward retorts strongly.

I shake my head in disbeleif and I jab my finger into his chest as I say acidly,

"And neither are you. I know what you are, and I want you to stay away from me" I don't actually know what he is exactly, but I have my favourite guess at the forefront of my mind, and for now that's enough.

Plus its worth the small sort of lie to see Edward's eyes widen and his jaw tighten like he's about to lose his shit. Good. He deserves it. The bastard.

Ward grabs my elbow, hard, and yanks me down the corridor, hissing in my ear,

"We're talking about this  _now_ "

I think about protesting, but the curious part of me wins out, and I allow Edward to yanks me along with him. Somehow he manages to find a deserted classroom away from everyone else, and shoves me into it, closing the windowless door behind us.

I turn on him first, snapping viciously,

"What do you want to talk about, exactly?"

Edwards eyes follow me as I move as far away from him as I dare. His black gaze flashing with something akin to rage. And heat. Attraction. Need. Something harsh and vital and all consuming. It takes my fucking breathe away for a moment.

"What do you think you know about me, Ever?" Edward's voice is calm, but I know that's bullshit from the way his hands are shaking.

Since I'm really not completely sure, I try to stall by saying,

"Not just you, Ward. Your entire family. I'm not stupid, it's not exactly difficult to figure out."

Edward's eyes flash again, but I don't back down even a little. Ward may be dangerous, but I'm not afraid of him. And that thought startles me. Because it's true, I do not fear Ward, not at all. Which is moronic to say the least. But I can't help but know, somewhere deep down inside me, that Ward would never purposely hurt me. Physically anyway.

"Then say it. Tell me what I am, what my family are"

So it's true then. They are something. I'm not crazy. I was right. And why does that feel less like a triumph and more like the beginning of something insane, something I might not ever be able to escape. Something that might just change me. For better or for worse.

I'm breathing hard, despite telling myself to calm down. I'm still not afraid. But having Edward so close, being truly alone with him for the first time, is making my head spin. His dark eyes watch me warily, angrily. But I see something else to. I see hope. In the depths of his eyes I see hope. I'm not sure what he's hoping for though. Does he want me to know? Does he want me to be wrong? Does he want...God I don't fucking know.

Despite every instinct I have telling me to stay away from him, I force myself to move closer. He looks startled at first when I touch my hand to his chest, pressing my palm flat against the spot where his heart should be. He looks like a nervous wreck, or at least much as he'll allow himself to look like one. But I don't feel a heart beat. And that, more than anything else, seals the deal for me.

"I'm not afraid of you" is all I say though.

There's a heavy pause, it hangs between us like a thick blanket. Edward's gaze fastens onto mine,

"Then you're stupid"

I nod, silently, puffing out a breathe, my hand still on his chest as I say,

"I must be. Because apparently I believe in vampires"

"You're insane" Edward intones, apparently taking one more stab at covering up his secret. But I can tell his hearts not really in it.

"Of course. But that doesn't make you any less a vampire" I say, trying to sound as casual as I can. Of course, inside I'm having a mental meltdown, but he doesn't need to know that. I don't wanna spook the human biter into action or something.

God, this is weird, even for me. But I know it's true, I can feel it in my gut. Which, if anything, proves just how fucked up I am. I should not believe this so easily. But I do, and what would be the point in denying it. My imagination did all the work for me, and this time it apparently turned out right. The crazy part of my brain in calling a silent win on that front.

"You can't possibly believe-" Edward begins, but then sighs, his black eyes somehow darkening as I rub my thumb soothingly over his heart. This would be sweet, if I wasn't randomly touching a guy who could probably kill me within seconds.

Yeah, that makes it less sweet alright. More like slightly deranged. I should so be running away. But then, it's not like I'd get very far if I did, what with Edward's super duper vampy strength.

"You're going to be my undoing" Edward whispers, but it seems he's saying that more for his benefit than for mine. My breathe catches in my throat anyway, and I attempt to pull myself together so I won't freak him out anymore than clearly already have.

Ha, I've freaked him out. That is so wrong. It should probably be the other way around, right?

"Would it make you feel better I promise not to ask any questions until you're ready to tell me" I ask carefully, eyeing him for any signs of...I dunno, vampyism. I still can't believe I guessed right first time.

I am so Jesus.

Edward look deeper into my eyes, as if trying to read something in them, and finally says,

"I don't think I'll ever be ready for that"

"Then I won't ever ask any questions" I say, truly meaning it. I know the truth now, and that's all I needed. Anything else I find out I would rather Edward told me. It's clearly a very private thing for him, and his family. I can respect that. Just like I would anyone else's big family secret. This may be a bit out there, sure, but it doesn't give me the right to grill Ward on something that isn't really any of my business. As curious as I am.

Edward appears wary, and surprised.

"Really? You won't ask any questions about...what I am, unless I say you can"

I shrug, nodding gently,

"It's not my secret, Ward. It's yours. Tell me, or don't tell me. Just, do me one favour"

Edward looks dazed, but also still very guarded, which I suppose I understand, all things considered.

"What favour?" He asks suspiciously.

I take a deep breathe and reply firmly,

"Stop being an asshole towards me. No one likes a moody vampire"

Edward actually chokes out a laugh at that,

"Why does it matter to you if I'm an asshole or not?"

I smile slightly,

"Because I can't be friends with someone who's a complete asshole. It goes against my religion"

Edward gives me a look like he thinks I'm stark raving mad, but asks, sounding genuinely hopeful,

"You still want to be friends? Are you serious?"

I mock frown at him,

"You say that in a way that makes it sound like I'm mentally ill"

Edward scoffs handily,

"You're  **mental** ly  _something_ "

I hit his chest, hard. And then I curse. God damn vampy person is made out of granite or some shit. I really want to ask about that. But I don't. Because I'm cool like that.

"I happen to be a very  _speshul_  snowflake, I shall have you know"

Ward rolls his eyes at me, but a small smile curls his lips as well as he says,

"Fine. Deal. But you're still crazy"

"And you're still a big pebble, but you don't see me complaining about it" I reply.

As I stand there, in that classroom with Edward, I know that nothing in my life will ever be the same. And I can't say I'm all that sorry for it either. As long as he doesn't eat me. We'll have to make some rules about that.

...

I'm walking out of school later, thinking about my conversation with Edwardo over and over again, because, you know, it's not every day that you get to have a secret meeting with a vampire. And live through it.

When suddenly I'm being attacked by my bestest friend, Beany. I can see that Bella is already waiting by the truck. And that's another thing. Do I tell Bella? Is it breaking Edward's confidence? We are friends now, and I imagine he doesn't want me telling everyone about his family's secret vampireness. But surely Bella doesn't count, and wouldn't it make her stop obsessing so much over JvamPy.

But then again...maybe I should let her figure it out on her own. My sister has a brain, let her use it. Yeah, that makes me feel more sure. It's definitely the right decision not to tell Bella right away. I'm not exactly sure how she'd react anyway.

"Hey, Sid" Beany says, he's grinning openly at me. But he also appears a tad nervous. And that makes me a little nervous too.

I smile at him though, and say,

"Hi, Beany, how was gym?"

"I don't know, I was 'sick', you get me" He presses a finger to his lips in a 'ssshhh' gesture.

I suck in a mock shocked breathe,

"But, Beany, gym class is so  _important_. Think about your future, Beany. How will you ever get through life without knowing how to climb a _rope_?"

Beany nods mock self deprecatingly,

"I know, I know, if I'm ever stuck in a hole and the only way to climb out is a rope, then I shall die. But" He adds, his voice brighter, "I'm willing to take the risk"

I shake my head, a small grin on my face,

"You little badass. Move over Batman! Beany's in town and looking  _fine_  in a cape!"

Beany presses a hand to his stomach,

"I would look good in a cape"

I nod in agreement,

"I definitely recommend it as an accessory to your badassness"

Beany laughs, but there's that nervousness behind his eyes again, and I frown at him. I reach out and touch his arm,

"Are you ok, Beany? What's up?"

Beany shifts uneasily, his gaze flickering to my hand on his arm. I quickly drop it, sensing some kind of weird tension.

"I was wondering...what happened between you and Mike?"

I'm surprised by the question, but answer,

"Nothing. He told me Chatty asked him to the dance, and I suggested that he say yes"

"You did?" Beany asks, sounding a little upset.

Now I really feel confused.

"Well yeah. Did...did you want to go with Chatty?"

Beany looks startled,

"Oh, no, no, I don't...I mean...seriously, like, no. If I was gonna go with any girl, it'd be you, but..."

I snort out a laugh,

"Waiting on my invite, are you?" I tease.

Beany scoffs and rolls his eyes,

"No way, Sid."

I gape, pretending to be hurt,

"Beany, that just cut me to the quick. I thought we had true love. Don't you want to have a magical night at the dance with me?"

The truth is, out of all the guy's I've met so far in Forks, if I was gonna go with anyone to the dance, then it'd be Beany. I'm not looking for a relationship though, and plus, me and Beany are so far into the friends zone that no amount of romance attack dogs could drag us back out.

Beany replies drolly,

"What, and have Edward Cullen glare at me for the rest of the school year? I think not, oh weird one"

I paste on an innocent smile,

"I have no idea what you're talking about, who is this Edwardo Cowan you speak of?"

Beany busts up chuckling and shakes his head at me,

"Hey, if you want to deny the  _special_  connection you share with Sir Starealot, then fine"

I flip my hand up, showing him all my fingers,

"Fuck off, Beany"

Beany frowns at me,

"Uh, Sid, you only need two fingers for a bird"

I roll my shoulders back and reply snarkily,

"Yeah, well, that comment deserved the entire damn flock"

Beany pauses for a moment, thinking that over, and then says,

"Huh, a flock of birds. Nice one"

I smirk smugly,

"Thank you...now, what were you talking about before? Is there someone you want to go to the dance with? If not Chatty or me, then who?"

Beany immediately stops smiling and his whole body seems to stiffen.

"Um" he scratches the back of his neck, which is something he does when he's uncomfortable, "No one. Don't worry about it."

I regard him carefully,

"Are you sure? You can tell me, Beany, its not like I'll blab about it, you know that right?"

Beany begins nodding quickly,

"Of course, I know you wouldn't, you're not like that. But...it's...just...complicated, ok"

Complicated. Yeah, I get that.

"Alright, well, if you ever need to talk about it then..."

"You'll be the first to know" Beany says, sounding like he really means it. I feel a little touched by that. It's nice to be that kind of special to someone.

I kiss Beany on the cheek, he blushes, and I walk away before he can start awkwarding all over the place.

When I see Bella, she huffs angrily at me,

"You ready to go?"

Woah, she looks pissed.

I nod and we get into Gordon,

"What bug crawled up your ass?" I ask her as she sits there looking like she just ate a lemon.

Bella growls something under he breathe.

I start Gordan, and begin trying to get out of the parking lot. But, naturally, I get stuck behind the Cullen's Volvo.

"Seriously, what up with you?" I ask my sister, growing more concerned.

Bella huffs again,

"John."

Oh, right. That guy.

"What's he done now, want me to kick his ass for ya?"

Bella sighs heavily,

"I don't know what his problem is! He says it's better if we aren't friends. I think he regrets saving me"

Ok, that shocks even me,

"Did he  _say_  that?" Because if he did, I am seriously going stake that vampy boy mother fraker.

Bella gets a speculative expression on her face and replies,

"Well, no, but I know he does"

"No way, Isy, it's probably all in your head"

Before Bella can say anything else, someone knocks on her window. I grimace when I see that it's the evil truck destroyer, Bash.

Bella rolls down the window and says,

"Sorry, Tyler, we're stuck behind the Cullen's"

And then something amazing happens.

"Oh, I know - I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." Bash grins.

This is so happening.

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?" Bash adds.

Oh My God, this is the best thing ever.

"I'm not going to be in town, Tyler." My sister says, sounding snappier than usual. Or at least snappier than she usually is with everyone but me.

"Yeah, Mike said that Ever told him you'd both be in Seattle"

Bash winks over at me, and I salute him using my middle finger. Son of a biscuit thinks he can vanrape Gordan and get away with it? Me no thinks so.

Bella frowns deeply at Bash,

"Then why-"

"I was hoping that was just Ever's way of letting him down easy"

Oh. But it gets better.

Bella gives him a brittle smile,

"Sorry, Tyler, I really am going out of town with my sister"

Tyler shrugs,

"Don't worry, we still have prom"

And then he flounces off.

That was so perfect.

Bella turns to me, clear disbelief and outrage on her face. I then proceed to die slowly from laughing so hard.

I notice in the car in front of me, the Cullen's car, that both JP and Edward are clearly laughing over something. I know Bella notices it too. It makes me wonder...

Somehow I convinced Ward to give me his phone number earlier. He wanted to know what I'd need it for. He sounded suspicious, like I might try and poison him via text message somehow. I told him there would be moments in my life when having his phone number would be of a great convenience to me. This is one of those times. I take out my phone and text Edwardo,

**"You heard all that, didn't you?"**

I wait a few moments, and texts back,

**"Thought you promised no questions"**

I smile to myself,

**"I promised no questions about the 'v' word. That wasn't a question related to the 'v' word, it was a question about you and your brother being total eavesdroppers"**

**"That's cheating"**

**"No, it's logic"**

**"You're weird"**

**"Still stuck on that, huh?"**

**"Pffftt, Agent Swan lake"**

**"Yes, Agent Stony?"**

**"We heard everything"**

**"How?"**

**"We bugged your car"**

**"His name is GORDAN, have some God damn respect"**

**"Tell Gordan I'm sorry"**

**"Tell him yourself"**

**"...I don't speak truck"**

**"Not with that attitude you don't"**

**"Tell Gordan that Felicity thinks he's ugly and fat"**

**"Who the hell is felicity?"**

**"That's my Volvo's name"**

Then I'm laughing again, and by the time I get over that laughing fit, the cars in front of us start to move, and I have to put my phone away so that I can drive.

On our way home, Bella narrows her eyes at me, as if expecting witchcraft,

"What are you so...happy about?"

I raise an eyebrow,

"Why do you think I'm particularly happy?"

"Because you're grinning like a looney tune" Bella replies smugly.

"Maybe I got some last night" I reply with a sniff.

"From who? We share a room"

"Hey, what a girl and bat do in the privacy of their own bed is-"

"SHUT UP EVER!"

"Then don't ask questions you don't want the answer to"

"You turn everything I ask into a question I don't want the answer to"

"Exactly"

...

The next morning, Bella parks as far away from the Volvo as she possibly can, which kind of worries, and amuses me at the same time. I get out of Gordan, and turn to Bella, but instead of seeing her, all I see is Edward leaning up against Gordan with a smirk on his face. I arch an eyebrow at him, and look around for Bella, only to see her walking swiftly towards school. With JP following her.

I think about going after them and running interference for Bella if she needs me to, but then Edward says,

"Hello, Ev's"

I sigh and smile slowly at him,

"Hi, Ward"

I realise immediately that his eyes are now whiskey coloured again, and every bit of me wants to ask about it. But I promised not to, so I won't.  _Not yet_.

"So, what was with the traffic hold up yesterday?" I ask dryly, already having an idea, but wanting Edward to confirm it.

Ward's smirk gets a little wider,

"That was for Tyler's sake, JP and I wanted to give him his chance"

I almost choke on a laugh,

"That was brilliant, I am so grateful. But don't tell Bella, she might actually beat you with her emoness"

Ward holds a hand to his chest in mock horror,

"I now fear for my existence"

I notice how he doesn't say 'life', and I wonder if that's a coincidence, or Ward purposely suggesting at his undead status. But again, I don't ask. Fuck this is gonna drive me crazy. Er. Crazi **er**.

"You should, my emo twin is truly frightening"

Ward laughs, and my tummy fucking flips. Uh oh.

"What's up with the morning greeting then, Ward?"

"I wanted to ask you a question" Ward replies with a graceful shrug.

I tilt my head to the side, looking up at him through lowered lashes,

"Fine, but no questions about what I am. That's a new rule, no questions about either of our species"

Edward regards speculatively as if weighing the odds of me saying something weird if he asks what I am. He decides to risk it,

"What are you, then, Ev's?"

I cross my arms and answer smartly,

"A Unicorn. Obviously."

There's a long pause on Edward's part, and then finally he says,

"Unicorns are cool"

I grin up at him,

"I know. We are,  _da bomb_ "

Edward smiles a little, and then frowns,

"Stop distracting me!"

I roll my eyes,

"Ok, ok, ask your question, bossy boxers"

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday - you know, the day of the spring dance -"

"I'm sorry, I already asked JP and he said yes, so-"

"Let me finish, woman!"

I gesture at him to continue.

"I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

That pulls me up short, I definitely wasn't expecting Ward to ask something like that. Possibly ever. I still think he's not sure about us being friends.

"What? Seriously?"

"Do you want a ride to Seattle, then?"

"From...who?" I ask, just to be sure.

Edward eyes me with an amused glint in his eyes,

"Well, me. Obviously" he says the word in the exact same tone as I did before.

"Ah, I see, you just want to spend more time with  _this_ " I lean slightly to the side and gesture up and down my body.

Bad move.

Edward's eyes flash with a fire so stark and intense that it makes me shiver almost violently, a zing of pleasure rocketing up my spine. Fuck, I have never been this attracted to someone in my entire life.

"Maybe I do" is all he says though, his voice like pure hot honey. Damn him.

I watch him for a long moment, trying to decide if such a thing would be a good idea. Do I really want to be in close quarters with Edward for that long?

"So, will you go to Seattle with me, Ev's?" Edward finally asks, his eyes connecting with mine in a burst of heat and genuine mutual understanding.

I think about it for another few moment, before saying,

"Yeah, ok rock-boy, we can go to Seattle. But it's not a date" I add hastily.

Ward looks amused again,

"Who said anything about a date?"

"No one. I'm just putting it out there."

"Well, consider it universally recognised"

"Good"

"Fine"

We end up staring at each other for another solid minute.

"I'm serious" I say.

"About what?" Ward asks.

"There will be no dates"

"Hm, that's a bit forward of you Ever, I don't know what kind of man you think I am. I much prefer to court my partners first before-"

"That's not even funny"

"It is though"

"I hate your face" I begin walking towards school, not looking back at him.

Moments later he's at my side again, and I have to ignore the part of me that is glad.

He's still smirking. I really want to smack him.

"JP better be nice to my sister" I say, trying to change the subject, fast.

"John-Paul is always nice" Ward counters.

"Well now you're just lying to yourself"

"John...is...somewhat fascinated by your sister" I guessed as much.

"Ew, well tell him to stop being a dick, and she might just return that interest"

"She already does"

I turn to look at him curiously,

"You can't possibly know that"

"She stares at him all the time" Edward argues, sounding diplomatic.

"You stare at me all the time" I fire back.

"Yes, but I'm not struck by your handsomeness and strange beauty and...whatever else people find attractive about my brother"

I have to chuckle at that. The thought of Edward and JP bickering in the same way Bella and I do makes me want to smile.

I hit his arm, and again,  _ow_! Fucking rock people!

"Excuse me, if it's not my 'strange beauty' that makes you stare at me, then what is it?"

"Because you're different" Edward answers easily.

"Different?" That can't be good.

"I want to know you" My heart stutters like fucking crazy at that one.

"And that makes me different?" I ask.

"Yes" Ward says simply.

" **Why**?"

Edward meets my eyes full on when he answers,

"You're the only person I've ever met who I can't read. And the more I  _get_  to know you, the more frustrating that is. Because it's never enough. So yes, I want to know you. I want to know everything there is to know about Everlyna Swan from Phoenix. Can you handle that?"

Can I?

"I guess we'll see"

And that, folks, is around about when shit gets real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-I know Ever finds out, or rather guesses, about Edwardo being a vampire really early on, but, I really wanted Ever and Edward to have a more genuine, open and trusting relationship, right off the bat, so that's why I did it this way.


	5. Blood Type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

I end up being late for class. Mr. Piss your pants boring arches a condescending eyebrow at me,

"Glad you could finally join us, Miss Swan"

Uh, that's Special Agent Swan to you, dickhead.

Goldy looks really uncomfortable when I sit next to him, and again I begin to wonder why he even bothered to pretend that he wanted me, when he so clearly doesn't. Or Chatty for that matter. God, humans, I'll never understand 'em.

He does warm up a little when I engage him in a fascinating discussion about the weather. Oh joy unbounded. We meet up with Beany and Bella after class and head towards the cafeteria. Usually this is the point where I'd try and convince someone to come with me and eat lunch somewhere else, but today I'm strangely inclined to sit in the cafeteria. And I know why. I want to see Edward. I want to know if this morning was just a fluke, or if he's actually decided to give this friend thing a chance.

I don't see him at first, but then Chatty says,

"Wow, Edward is staring at you again"

My eyes snap up, and they immediately connect with his. He's smiling at me. I wink at him, and he returns the gesture with a light smirk. Edward and JP are sitting alone at their own table, and I almost frown at that. Can I ask him why? Would that be going against our arrangement?

Edward motions for me to come over. I happily comply dragging Bella along with me. She sputters out a protest at first, but then see's where we're going and who I'm aiming for. Her eyes widen, but she doesn't say anything else. I see JP give his brother a death glare, but Ward just smiles teasingly at him. I find myself yet again curious about the dynamics of their relationship.

When I reach the table where JP and Ward are sitting, I place a hand on my hip and say,

"Well, well, fancy seeing you here"

"Feel like sitting with me today?" Edward asks, his eyes smiling.

I pretend to think about it,

"Hmmm, what do I get if I do?"

"The pleasure of my company"

I make a face,

"Nope, not good enough. Come on, you can do better than that, Ward"

Edward appears to contemplate that for a moment.

"I'll bake you a cake"

"As fast you can!" I quip with as much child-like excitement as I can.

"I'll even pit it and pat it for you"

"Well now we're talking!"

Edward laughs and I sit down beside him.

JnosmileseverP gives me a look of barely veiled contempt and I wink at him. He rolls his eyes, but then his gaze fastens on my twin. I let them do their weird stare-a-thon thing, and lean a little closer to Edwardo.

Edward's beautiful face brightens when I smile at him, and something in my chest pulses almost painfully. He looks so young, maybe only a little older than me, but there's something in his eyes, something that tells me a much different story. I wonder how old he actually is, and I almost ask. But I catch myself just in time. Whatever I find out about Edward, I want it to come from him.

After Edward and I get a very long stare of our own out of the way, I clear my throat, conscious of how close we're sitting. I can tell it's hard for Edward to be this close to me, but at least now I know why. It must be my blood. How does he deal with it? Come to that, does he bite humans? I guess I should assume yes, but something in me won't allow myself to believe that Edward is a monster. At least not anymore.

I tear my gaze away from Edward's close to smoldering black eyes, and slap the table with my hand,

"Right then, what topic of conversation should we embark on my peoples?"

Bella gives me a scandalised look, whereas JP appears somewhat deer in the headlights ish. Edward stifles a laugh behind his hand.

My sister turns to JP and says,

"This is definitely different"

Ohhh, pulling out the big guns, emo twin of mine, I like it.

"I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." JP replies with a slight grimace. Nice, dramatic, cynical, this is getting good.

I raise an eyebrow at Edward, he simply shrugs in response, and then, it's as if we have a perfect moment of understanding. So, trying not to laugh, we both sit back, ready to watch the conversation that is about to unfold between our twins.

Eventually Bella says,

"You know I don't have any idea what you mean,"

"I know." JP says, and then he apparently decides to change the subject. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you."

I don't want to ruin this moment by actually speaking out loud to Edward and interrupting our lunch time show, so I take out my phone and text him instead.

"Aren't they just love young's dream"

Edward slides me a look when his phone buzzes, and I widen my eyes pointedly. Edward quirks an eyebrow at me, but smiles but he reads my text. We keep our phones under the table so that the emo's in wuv won't notice.

"Don't knock it, they obviously share a special bond"

I snicker at that one.

"They'll survive." Bella says with a shrug.

"I may not give you back, though," JP replies, smiling a little for the first time, like, ever, probably.

I can feel the tension coming from Edward's need to laugh, mostly because I'm suffering from the same problem.

"Do. Not. Laugh. This is too good"

"I don't think I'll be able to control it if my brother keeps coming up smooth lines like that"

"He is clearly a true ladies man. I sense jealously"

"Nah. He got the charm, but I got the brains...And my hair is WAY better"

I have to bite down on my hand to stop myself from laughing like crazy.

"You look worried." JcasanovaP says.

"No," Bella replies, "Surprised, actually... what brought all this on?"

"Maybe he's finally gotten off his man-period"

Even Edward can't stop himself from choking out a laugh when he reads that. But he hides it well, and our respective twins don't even look over at us. Good, good, the fun times may continue.

By the way, all men suffer from a man-period, although unlike women, men start theirs when they are born, and are on their man period for about 90% of their lives. It's definitely something to watch out for.

"I told you - I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." JP says, his expression deadly serious.

"Please don't throw yourself my brother. I know he's smooth and oh so sexy, but you must resist"

"I shall try to restrain myself"

"I think it's too late for your sister"

"It's always been too late for my sister. I'm pretty sure she's one pout away from becoming a Disney princess. Just not as cheerful. And her singing voice sucks"

"Giving up?" Bella questions JP.

"Yes - giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may. I believe that's all I can do by this point"

"I believe I can fly!"

"I believe I can touch the sky!"

It's a magical moment for all of us.

But then Bella ruins the shmagical moment by saying,

"You lost me again."

"I always say too much when I'm talking to you - that's one of the problems." JP sighs, but he doesn't look all that sorry about it.

I find myself looking at Edward, his gaze slides to meet mine and we share a smile that reaches down inside of me and warms my heart. It fills me up in a way that makes everything feel so fucking fantastic. Like my whole world just got brighter. I shift away before I can allow myself to drown in that feeling. It's too much, too intense. I barely know the guy, this can't be happening to me. To Bella, sure, why not, but me? No way. It's not who I am.

Edward's smile falters, but he doesn't shift away from me like I'd expect him to.

"You are beautiful, you know" Ward whispers to me. His black hole eyes bore into my skin, making my body tense.

I swallow hard,

"Don't say things like that"

"Why not? It's true."

"Because...I don't know...just...don't" I look awkwardly away from him, and even though I can feel him, literally fucking feel him, staring at me, trying to figure out what to say next, I still refuse to acknowledge the heat between us. I know it's there, and for the life of me I can't understand why, but...now is not the time to analyse it.

Finally Edward whispers, resignation in his voice, but not defeat,

"Alright. But I still think it. All the time. I'll still think it"

I tune back in to Bella and JP, and I realise that Edward and I apparently missed a bit of a tiff between them.

"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you - he's debating whether or not to come break up our fight." JP pretty much hisses at my sister.

"I don't know who you're talking about," Bella snaps back frostily. "But I'm sure you're wrong, anyway."

I think about intervening, but then remind myself that I don't want to make my sister look weak. She can handle one asshole by herself without me charging in, however much I may want to.

Edward steals my attention from their fight as he says,

"Speaking of boyfriends-"

"We weren't-"

"No, but our twins were, so that still counts"

"If you say so" I mutter suspiciously.

Edward seems to be watching me intently,

"My brother is wrong. That boy isn't staring at Bella, he's staring at you. They all stare at you, Ev's"

I scoff loudly,

"Not likely, Ward. I think you'll find it was Bella who Bash was interested in yesterday"

Edward shakes his head, giving me an ironic look,

"That's only because he was too scared to ask you. You intimidate him. But it was you he wanted to ask"

I narrow my eyes at him,

"You can't possibly know that"

"But I do" Edward sounds, of all things, a little jealous. I don't know how to feel about Edward having those kinds of feelings towards me.

"How?" Then I realise that asking that might be breaking our agreement, so I add, "Never mind"

Edward watches me for another long moment, saying nothing. Then finally he appears to make some kind of decision, and he whispers, very close to my ear,

"I hear what people think"

Something inside me freezes, and I lean back to stare at him in amazement. Then the horror breaks through at the thought of him being able to hear what I've been thinking all this time. But, wait, he said I was hard to read...

"Can you hear what I think?"

Edward seems to hesitate, but then shakes his head reluctantly,

"No, you're the only one I can't read"

That startles me even more than the thought that he can read minds. Because that is both fucking scary and incredibly cool.

"Are you serious? Why?"

Edward holds his hands up in a placating gesture,

"I have no idea"

I have to smile widely at that, and I lean in close to him to whisper,

"It freaks you out a little, doesn't it?"

Edward growls deep in his throat,

"You have no idea how frustrating it is to not be able to read the mind of the one person who I actually want to read"

The sound of his low primal growl sends a thrill through me, and a flash of all my tree kissing dreams spring forth inside my mind.

"Karma's a bitch" I reply, smirking, unable to help myself.

I turn away from him again, only to see that JP is glaring at Edward, and I wonder if he heard what his brother just confessed to me. I really want to ask if JP can hear people's thoughts too. I want to ask if it's something all vampy people can do. But Edward just told me a very important secret of his, and that was a gift. I don't want to go breaking my promises to Ward now that he's finally starting to trust me.

Edward and JP glare at each other for a fucking long time. Long enough that it becomes awkward for both me and Bella. Long enough that I actually begin to think a fight might just break out between them. So, I decide such madness must end, and to end it, I say loudly,

"Sooooo, JP, did Bella tell you that she's been dreaming of you every night for the past month?"

Bella's jaw drops, and she narrows her eyes accusingly at me. To be fair, that is totally not what I meant to say. I was going for shocking. But then, it does work. Edward and JP are now not glaring at each other anymore. JP is staring at Bella, yet again, amusement in his eyes, he says,

"Oh, really"

Edward is, of course, grinning so hard that I'm worried his marble perfect face might crack.

I'll call that a win.

"EVER!" Isy the emo practically yells at me.

I lean back in my seat and smile placatingly at Bella,

"Um...I'm gonna...go...now...like..right now. Uh, bye, Isy, I love you so much!"

I make my escape, mission impossible style. But without the night vision goggles and cat suits. Which is a shame, because I look sexy as all hell in both. Especially the night vision goggles. Because, come on guys, what's not sexy about goggles? Of any kind.

Five minutes later I get a text from Edward that makes even me blush,

"Have you been dreaming of me, Ev's?"

I reply quickly, far too quickly,

"No. I do not dream about you. And I don't dream about tree's in a sexual way either"

Yeah, that could have come out better.

"Ok, I'll make sure to stop spreading that rumour then"

"Good, see that you do, rock boy. I don't want to have to get rough with you"

There's a long pause, and I start think that might be it. But then,

"...I like pine tree's"

I can't decide whether to laugh or call the psych ward to take him away.

"You are so messed up"

"I'm not the one who has dreams about having sex with trees"

"I do not! I have dreams about you kissing me against a tree!"

Oh, fuck! Why do these things keep happening? I think for sure that he's about to make some kind of sex joke, but instead he completely changes topic.

"Bella and John are arguing about radioactive spiders"

"I know, she thinks you're both spider-man"

"We are not spider-man."

"Of course not literally. Neither of you can ride a skateboard"

"Who says we can't ride skateboards?"

"Can you?"

"...That isn't the point"

"What's the point again?"

"You know what we are. Your sister is very bad at guessing"

"Well, we can't all be as observant as me"

"God forbid everyone be anything like you"

"Hey!"

"Joke!"

"Liar!"

"I do not lie. I misrepresent the truth"

"That's just a fancy-ass way of saying that you lie!"

"Yes, but doesn't it sound so much nicer?"

I roll my eyes, and pull the same stunt he did only moments before by changing the topic of conversation,

"I hate spiders"

"Good thing I'm not spider-man then, isn't it"

"Vampires aren't descended from spiders or something, are they?"

"I'm not answering that question"

"What, because of our deal?"

"No. Because it's so stupid that it doesn't deserve one"

"Ok, ok, don't get your panties in a twist"

"I don't wear panties"

"You go commando too?"

"Too?"

"Shut up"

Our texting pretty much goes on and on like that until the bell rings. Because we are just so normal like that.

But right before I head off to class, out of nowhere my arm is grabbed from behind. I suck in a surprised breathe, but I know exactly who it is before I even look. I recognise his grip. Its strangely gentle, yet firm at the same time, like he's holding back as much of his strength as he possibly can. And I appreciate that.

Edward pulls me towards the back entrance of school, and I go along with him, because, yeah, I really didn't want to go to class anyway. It looks like we're skipping, and I'm pretty damn happy about it, to be honest.

Bella's gonna be pissed with me, but right now I can't find it in my heart to care.

I resist though when Edward heads towards his Volvo.

"Hey, what's wrong with Gordan?"

Edward flashes me an amused look,

"I don't think you or Gordan want me to answer that"

"Yeah, well, Felicity is a stuck up biatch. I'm not going anywhere with her" I reply stubbornly. But Edward simply continues to drag me along behind him. When I dig my heels in even more, Ward does something that should so totally be illegal. He picks me up. BASTARD!

"Put me down, you Dracula wannabe! I am very heavy! Drop me, God damn it!" I struggle against him, but Edward's super duper strength keeps me in place far too easily.

"Calm down, Ever, it'll make things easier for both of us" Edward says reasonably. As if I'm the one being difficult. Oh, that's it, Kevin and Edward are going to have words. Very. Serious. Words. About the state of Edward's face!

"I will call my lawyer!" I warn, still struggling. I ignore how heat zings through my body because of how close I fucking am to this fucking asshole. It should not feel this good to be touched by this man. Or anyone. Ever. It's just not normal.

I almost laugh at myself for that thought. Since when is any of this about what's normal? Edward's a freakin' vampire!

Edward scoffs at me,

"You don't have a lawyer"

"I do so! His name is Kevin, and he will break your face!"

"I thought Kevin was your bat"

"He is"

"Kevin the bat is your lawyer and your sidekick?"

"What, a bat can't have a career and a hobby? God, you are so batist"

"That, is not a word!"

"Bataphobe!"

Edward puts me down, surprisingly carefully, next to his Volvo a.k.a Felicity a.k.a.k.a the Gordan hater 5000. Even with the smooth handling by Edward, I still fall back against the passenger's door. I grab onto Edward's jacket to steady myself as I stumble, and Edward moves fast to support me so that I won't completely fall the fuck over.

Somehow we end up with me pressed against the car door, the firm and broad hardness of Edward's chest almost molded to the softness of mine. The position is intimate it steals my breathe away, causing me to freeze in Edward's arms. His cold as ice hands are on my hips, and even through the material of my t-shirt I can feel them almost as if they're on my bare skin. A feeling runs through me at that touch, icy fire making my nerves tingle pleasurably. Edward's black eyes lock with my violet ones, and heat fizzles between us like left over lightening scorched on both our souls.

Nothing in my life has ever felt this intense, and that honestly scares the shit out of me more than anything else so far. Which is so fucking fucked up that words cannot even begin to describe it.

I don't know how long we stay there, immersed in each other's presence. But eventually something snaps back inside of me and I look away. Edward takes the hint and removes his body from mine, taking a few steps back. I refuse to look at him, but I feel Edward move to the driver's side of the car.

"It's open" is all he says to me, his voice a quick rasp unlike anything I've heard from him before.

It makes my hand want to itch and my heart race.

I take a deep breathe, and reply,

"I am perfectly capable of driving my own car"

"What about Bella?" Edward asks, raising an eyebrow at me over the top of the car.

I chance a proper look at him. He's studiously not meeting my eyes. His fists are clenched, and his jaw is tight. He must be fighting for control. But for what? His need for my blood, or my body? Both?

The worst thing is, I don't know which of those would make me more uncomfortable right now.

"I can come back for her later" I answer, crossing my arms.

Edward roll his eyes and ducks down into the car. The passenger side window slides down moments later and I hear him say, somehow it's a command and a question at the same time,

"Get in, Ever"

I briefly look over at Gordan, wondering how far I'd get if I made a run for it. I'm guessing not that far at all.

"You know I'll just drag you back," Edward growls at me, guessing my thoughts without having to read them apparently. His tone makes me shiver, and I try to suppress it so Edward won't notice.

I think about walking away, just to spite him, but then I mentally slap myself. I am not twelve. It does make more sense to get a ride from Edward. Grow up, I snap back at my own mind.

So I get into Felicity.

Edward starts fiddling with the controls, turning up the heat, and turning down the music. My eyes brighten though when I recognise the music being played. I turn to Edward and ask,

"Hoppípolla, right?"

Ward's own eyes widen in surprise,

"You know Sigur Ros?"

I nod enthusicatically,

"Hell yeah, this is one of my favourites"

"Mine too" Edward replies, a small smile curling his lips now.

Despte myself, I end up continuing,

"I love to listen to the classsical stuff when I run"

Edward gets that 'interested' look in his eyes again and asks,

"Why specifically classical music?"

I shrug one shoulder,

"It helps me think, clears out all the cobwebs for some reason, more than anything else"

Edward considers that for a moment and then says,

"Except the rain"

I can't help but smile at him then, replying quietly,

"Yes, apart from the rain"

It's already starting to rain outside, the pattering of raindrops hitting the car window with little pings of noise.

After a few moments of us both enjoying the somewhat more hopeful melody of the song, I ask,

"What about you?"

The question seems to catch Edward off guard, and it takes him a long time to answer,

"I think it's because this kind of music gives me a sense of peace. I'm not sure how, but it does. And sometimes I need that"

I process those words for a while, allowing myself to fully acknowledge my own understanding of Edward's honest answer. It's like I can feel how raw and true his words are. I have no idea what I did to deserve Edward's trust like this, but I really want to keep it. I want to know everything. And I don't simply mean the supernatural stuff either. I want to know about Edward the man, not just Edward the vampire.

"What is your mother like?" Edward asks suddenly.

My eyes flicker over to him, he's studying me with interest. I shrug one shoulder again,

"She's a lot like Bella, looks-wise. Isy the all inspirational emo, would say that our mom is prettier, but I don't think that's true" Edward seems to be really paying attention, so I go on, "I have a lot of my Dad in me. Although I guess I can be impulsive and reckless like my mom. Sometimes. But mostly I'm just an introverted hermit like my Dad and Bella. But Bella was always closer to Mom than I was. I guess because Bella is her baby. I never wanted to be coddled. I never wanted much of anything from anyone. Not emotionally, I mean"

I tell myself to shut up, he can't possibly want to know this. And why the hell do I even want him to know it?

"How old are you, Ever?" Edward asks, sounding, for some reason, protective. He pulls to a stop, and I realise that we're home already.

I watch him for a moment, before answering,

"One hundred and seventeen. Minus one hundred"

"You really don't seem seventeen most of the time" Edward says, almost carefully, as if he doesn't want to offend me.

I laugh a little, mostly to let him know that as far as inappropriate things go, that wasn't bad.

"Mom always says I was born free, thirty and ready to take on the world. Alone." After a short pause, I add, "Hey, you're not exactly a spring chicken yourself, rock-boy"

"I'm very old" Edwards admits, seriously, but then changes the subject by asking, "So why did your mother marry Phil?"

I puff out a breathe and think about my answer for a minute,

"My mother... she's very young for her age. Sometimes, she can be pretty immature actually. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. She's gaga over him, anyway" Which is something I don't really get. But then, it's not my place to 'get' why my mother loves a guy. It's my place to put up with it and be happy with her no matter what. Even if he is a bit of a baseball playing knucklehead.

Edward raises a skeptical eyebrow,

"You don't approve?"

I sigh heavily,

"It doesn't really matter if I do or not"

"Why not? Why shouldn't your feelings matter?" Edward asks, frowning at me now, that same protective edge to his tone.

I smile slightly at him,

"Family dynamics, Ward. It's not simple or easy to explain"

Edward again seems to take that in slowly. He eventually nods in acceptance, but he still doesn't look happy about it. And for some reason I find myself feeling absurdly happy about someone being completely on my side for once in my life. Not that I'd ever admit that out loud this side of the grave.

"I wonder.." Edward begins, his eyes flashing to meet mine, "Do you think she'd feel the same way about you? Would she just blindly accept anyone you brought home to meet her?"

I don't have to think about that one,

"Yeah, she would...probably"

"No one too dangerous then?" Edward says, teasing a little.

I smirk at him,

"It depends what you mean by dangerous"

"Do you think I could be dangerous?" Edward asks me, looking serious again.

Somehow I know my answer means something to him, although I still don't know why he cares so much.

"I think you definitely could be, if you wanted. But we've already established that I'm not afraid of you"

Edward seems satisfied with that answer. For now at least.

Unable to stop myself, I ask,

"Can I ask about your family, now, then? Nothing vampy, I promise, just the usual stuff"

Edward blinks at me,

"What kind of stuff do you want to know?"

"You were...adopted?" I ask, carefully.

Edward nods slowly,

"Yes, in a way, we all were"

"How about your parents? Were they...?" I ask, very curious about Edward's background.

Edward smiles a little sadly, but replies without much emotion at all,

"My parents died many, many years ago. And, no, they were not vampires. It isn't genetic. I was once human. Just so you know"

Huh. Well that certainly crosses off quite a few of my inter-monologue questions about vampire origins.

"Do you ever miss your parents?"

"Not anymore, really. Having my biological parents around was in a completely different lifetime for me" It sounds like the truth to me. But, even so, that's quite sad within itself. I can't imagine myself not missing Bella if she died, no matter how long ago it had been. But then, I'm not a vampire either.

"Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now." Edward adds when I say nothing.

"You love them" I say, and it's not a question. I can see it in his eyes. He loves his family, blood or no blood. Ironically.

"Yes" Edward smiles genuinely, "I couldn't imagine two better people."

"I'm glad you have that" I say, and then cringe a little on the inside for sounding so daytimemovieish.

"Thank you" Edward says to me, and his smile is warm. My heart skips a couple beats. Damn, not again.

I clear my throat gamely and say,

"Are you coming to La Push on Saturday?"

Edward's smile drops,

"No. I'm going hunting with my brothers"

Fair play.

"Want me to come and act as bait?"

Edward's eyes snap to mine and he growls,

"That's not even remotely funny"

I gasp in shock, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice when I say,

"I didn't mean it seriously, Edward. I know vampires aren't bunny rabbits, ok"

There's a strained silence between us whilst I feel Edward staring at me, his eyes taking in every feature of my face, before he shocks me again by reaching over and taking my hand in his, sliding our fingers together. I look up at him and he says,

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. I just...feel...I don't want you to...get hurt"

"Because of what you are?"

"Because of anything, or anyone" Edward says heatedly, "I don't ever want to see you hurt. It makes me angry just thinking about it."

"Hey, I'm not some little weakling, you know" I say lightly, trying to smooth away Edward's fears somehow.

It doesn't work. Edward stares at me harder,

"On the inside, you're strong, I can feel that. But on the outside, you're just as weak as any human"

Well, thanks.

I squeeze Edward's hand and meet his gaze head on, once again,

"I still don't fear you, vampire. Get used to that."

"You're still insane" Edward murmurs, his thumb sliding over my hand.

I force myself to smile instead of shiver at his touch, and reply snarkily,

"Once a Unicorn, always a unicorn"

I pull my hand away then. Edward holds on at first, but eventually he lets me go. I make my escape from the car, turning back to smirk at Edward and say,

"Keep on rockin' and rollin', Ward"

Edward winks at me, seeming more relaxed, and more tense at the same time now that I've left the car. Edward replies readily,

"Keep on trucking, Ev's"

I close the door and run into the house, looking back only one more time. Edward doesn't leave until I'm inside the house and looking down at him from my bedroom window. I salute him. He salutes back.

Maybe everything will be ok.

Maybe.

Probably not.

Oh, well. Break out the ice cream, then.


	6. Scary stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) x

"You came!" Goldy pretty much squeals at Bella and I as we walk toward him and a group of people's who's names I have no room in my brain to remember. That's why I give people nicknames. I mean, what am I, a roster? I ain't got no time to remember fools names. Especially as most of them don't like me. I'd say the feeling is mutual, but not liking them would mean caring, and I really don't.

It's Saturday and we're about to ship off to La Push. I'm kinda excited about it, I haven't been there in ages. As usual, Bella is being an emo child, muttering about it being 'one of those days' when blondy/girl with corn coloured hair a.k.a Corny, girl gives her a notsonice look. I keep telling her, flip them off, or ignore all their bullshit. But does she listen to me, no, no she does not. And isn't that just a shame and a half.

Think of all the whining. Oh, the horror!

SAVE ME BATMAN!

Goldy starts talking, but I find myself automatically tuning him out. I like Goldy, I really do, but the good puppy act is getting old, and I don't quite believe in it anyway. Bella thinks Goldy is just a bit of a simpleton, I disagree. There's something else going on there, and if I wasn't so wrapped up in trying to figure out Edward, then I'd totally be doing some sleuthing Goldy's way.

"I told you it would be sunny" Goldy says to me, smiling happily.

I give him two thumbs up,

"I never doubted you for a second Goldy" I grab his shoulder and squeeze it, "I believe in  _you,_  and  _all_  your weather forecasts"

Goldy looks absurdly satisfied by that, and I immediately remove my hand before he assumes I'm secretly in love with him or some such. I would hate to have to drown him in the sea if he tried something stupid. Like coming onto me. I don't wanna be arrogant or nothin', but I'm pretty sure if Goldy thought he had an in he would go for it. Or would he? What Beany said to me the other day is still turning over and over in my mind.

Speaking of,

"SIDNEY!"

I turn around to see Beany coming towards me with his arms open. A wide grin spreads over my face and I launch myself at him. Beany, sort of, catches me. Ish.

"BEANY!" I shout, hugging his skinny body close to mine.

I hear Bella huff annoyingly, clearly embarrassed by me yet again. I poke my tongue out at her. And hiss a little. Just for good measure. All the same, I pull away from my bestest fwend, and smile gamely at him. He catches my eye and grins back.

Although his dark eyes briefly flicker to something beyond me, but only for a moment. I look back to see what caught his attention, and all I see is Goldy, looking kinda pissed off, actually. Oh, God, he's not gonna go all jealous on me, is he? That would be extremely irritating. I'd have to convince Bella to marry him just so he wouldn't cry all over me.

I arch an eyebrow at him. But Goldy isn't staring at me, he's looking  _past_  me, at  **Beany** , his eyes shining with upset and fucking pissedoffness. What the hell? I don't even know what to do with that information. Goldy appears to realise that I'm looking at him after a few seconds though, and he looks away dejectedly. I narrow my eyes at Goldy for a moment, but then push my focus back to Beany.

"You ready to go beach hopping?" Beany asks me, sounding more excited than I've ever heard him. And I once saw him almost throw a shit bubble when a new type of paint got opened up in art class. Because that's the kind of crazy life these lot have up here in Forks, a town built for thrill seekers. Of all ages. Sort of like a Legoland ride.

I hold my hand out to him, warding off such an evil premise,

"Woah, woah,  _woah,_  nobody said anything about  _exercise._  I ain't doing no jumping around and shiz nit like that"

Bean shakes his head at me and teases,

"No wonder you're so fat" He pokes my tummy.

I make a fake shocked sound,

"I'll have you know that this is _not_  fat" I place a hand over my almost flat belly, rubbing it like it holds treasure, "This right here...this is a  _food baby_ "

"No need to ask where that baby comes out of" Beany replies, snickering to himself.

"Ew. Just...just, ew, Beany"

"Will you ride in my car?" Goldy asks Bella and me. He look more like himself now, and less JnofuntimesP-esque.

Bella smiles tentatively, and I nod, saying simply,

"Hells bells, Goldy, lets go"

"You can have shotgun" Goldy promises me kindly, and I smile gratefully at him. Bella nudges me though and gestures covertly at Chatty, who is now glowering. Uh oh, I think she might cut me if I get too close to her precious future husband, Goldy. For once I really feel bad for telling Goldy to say yes to Chatty. He clearly didn't want to, but then that begs the question again of why he would even consider doing it at all in the first place.

Long story short, we all end up shoved and packed into Goldy's one man flintstone mobile. Fun, fun times, as I'm sure you can imagine. With Beany chatting excitedly about hiking (BTW-EVER NO HIKE. NO HIKING FOR EVER!), Bella huffing shyly (irritatingly), Chatty glaring at me (because I so obviously want into Goldy's pants), and Goldy alternating between telling me things about driftwood fire that I already know, but allow him to tell me about anyway because I'm nice like that, and staring forlornly out of the window about Satan only knows what.

I've been to La Push loads of times in my life. Dad used to take me and Bella there all the time, and it's even more breathtakingly beautiful than how I remember it. I realise just how much I missed this place. Forks. The rain. La Push. My Dad. All of it.

The sea water is a darkening gray, even with the sun shining down on it. Waves that are brimmed with white sea foam waft and overlap each other genlty. Little islands rise and fall, hard and mighty as they stand the test of time along the cliff sides. The beach itself has only a thin patch of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it grows into millions of hefty, shiningly smooth stones that look starkly gray from a distance, but up close seemed to change colour on a whim. So unpredictable and yet stabilising at the same. The line created by the tide is overshadowed by driftwood trees, the harshness of the waves pattering off into an almost child-like push as they wash back and forth, as if the wind itself scolds them into falling back into the vastness of the sea.

I almost clap when I see pelicans! I do love me some ugly big mouthed birds! Maybe I can hitch a ride home in one of their mouths, just so I won't have to hang out with Scooby-doo and the gang any longer than necessary.

When we get down to beach, I make my great escape, which mainly included shoving Bella over onto the sand and watching as all the boys gathered to 'rescue' her. From what, the sea shells? God, boys are stupid.

I don't wait around for Bella to ream me out about it, quickly dashing away from the group. It's not that I don't like the people from school...ok, ok, I like Beany, Velma (a.k.a Angela), and possibly Goldy when he isn't being annoying. You know, like 8% of the time. But hey, that boy makes 8% count, big time.

The main reason I wanted to be alone was because I missed the hell out of this beach. I missed the hell out of Forks. I've never really allowed myself to think about it too much, but now that I'm here, I can't help but feel the pang of loss for all the years I stayed away.

I spend a few minutes investigating the rock pools, poking at suckers and crabs like I'm six years old again. Making up stories in my head about the small creatures lives. I used to make into a kind of mini TV series, with the same characters doing something different every 'episode'. It kept me entertained for hours upon hours when I was younger. It entertains me now as I remember my old friends.

I know it's unlikely that I ever saw the same creatures twice, yet alone over the time spanning years and years worth of story telling. But still, I whisper quietly to Noel the crab and Kimra the starfish like they're my old friends. In a way, they are. My childhood is told in a series of made up stories that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, but have meant everything to me at one time or another.

I hide away from everyone else, finding my old cave. As a seven year old I called it the Batcave 2.0, sans the bats. It was either that or Swan headquarters. Bella was not permitted entry. After all, she might have destroyed my precious lab equipment, or my very important metaphorical spinny chair. GOD DAMN IT WHERE IS MY SPINNY CHAIR JEEVES!

(Jeeves is my rock butler-don't ask...he's undercover)

I miss my spinny chair. And lets be honest, without a spinny chair, the whole concept of an evil lair becomes pointless.

For as long as I can I explore every place I can think of. I'm lost in my memories. Except when I find my mind drifting back to one person. That one person who invaded my dreams yet again last night. At least this time there was no sexual activity involving wildlife. But then, dreaming about kissing Edward Cullen on the front of Gordan under the stars, isn't much better. It's still kissing Edward.

Damn him and all his touching and staring and...stuff. I hate him. But I don't. I like him. Sort of. Maybe it's just the mystery that surrounds him that keeps holding my interests, maybe it's just because the sense the story behind his eyes, and being such a fanatic lover of stories, I find myself unable to resist him. The temptation he represents.

But, no. I don't think that's it. At least, not completely.

If that were the case then I wouldn't be wondering what Edward would say about my stories and my Pelican Express idea (save that one for later), and my batcave 2.0 and all the other bits and pieces that make up...well,  _me_. For the first time in my life, not only do I feel the need to know someone, but I have the intense desire for them to know me right back.

Ain't that just a bitch.

I hear the rest of them go down for food, but I'm not done thinking, and there's no way I'll be able to think properly with Bella glaring at me all night like a wronged housewife. She's bothersome like that. It's like she's never fallen over on sand before. And let me tell you, that is not at all the case. A feather could fuck that girl's balance up.

Eventually I take out one of my writing pads and begin some kind of story about the whistling wind and the purifying powers of the rain, and one perfect kiss on a beach made of wishes. Sometimes it takes a few tries before my stories take shape. But they always do. It's the one thing in life I can always count on.

I must have been immersed in my work, because when a hand lands on my shoulder I kick out with a yell on instinct. I hear a grunt and my eyes scan the dimness around me wildly for a few moments. My eyes come to rest on a boy that I vaguely recognise, but can't immediately place. I know he's not from school, he looks like one of the reservation guys.

"Holy hell! You kicked me!"

My eyes focus a little more and I can see him properly. His hair is long a silky black, skin tanned and smooth looking. His face is, in one word, just about the prettiest face I've ever seen on a guy. He's strangely captivating, his eyes are dark and have an untamed quality to them, set above sharp cut cheek bones. I know girls who would kill to look even close to this guy's level of pretty. He also still has a bit of youth in his face, making him look younger than he probaby is. It's almost...innocent.

Right now though, he just looks pissed off.

I wave a hand at him,

"Well, that's what you get for touching up random women in caves. Now you've learned something...you're welcome"

Pretty boy looks at me incredulously. He sort of reminds me of a startled version of Bambi. Uh oh, I think a new nickname has been born here my peoples. It's then that I recognise him, or at least I think I do.

"Jacob?" I question, eyes narrowing.

Bambi blinks rapidly, and then nods,

"Jacob Black...and you're...clearly Bella's evil twin"

I suck in a breathe. Outraged. I sit forward and poke him in the chest,

"You take that back, you pretty...philandering...fiend...you...you...YOU...DISNEY DEER!"

As insults go, maybe not one of my best, I'll admit that now.

Bambi stares at me for a solid second before breaking into fits of laughter. I have no idea what he finds so amusing. This is my serious thinking voice. Hear me roar voices inside my head!

"I'm sorry, but you are definitely the evil twin" Bambi says seriously, when he's finally stopped fall all over the place like an idiot.

I shake my head at him in disgust,

"Bella is obviously the evil twin, you can see it in her beady little eyes"

Bambi eyes me speculatively and says,

"Bella didn't kick me in the face and call me a Disney deer fiend"

I snort dismissively,

"I don't see what that has to do with anything"

"If you just accept your evil status, then there will be no need for us to come to blows" Bambi says reasonably.

Oh, that's it, someone's getting their ass kicked by Jeeves.

"I am not evil" I huff angrily, "I am a mere Unicorn who deserves respect God damn it!"

Bambi raises a skeptical eyebrow,

"Oh yeah, what exactly is this cave you're hiding out in?"

I cluck my tongue at him and reply grudgingly,

"My evil lair"

Bambi looks around behind me for a moment and then scrunches up his pretty little nose,

"Really?...Where's the spinny chair? You can't have an evil lair without one"

Oh my God, where has he been all my life?

Ah right,  _here_.

"It's on back order" I answer, raising an eyebrow at him.

"And the fluffy white cat?" Bambi questions suspiciously.

"For evil stroking purposes?"

"Naturally"

Without missing a beat,

"I ate him"

Bambi, instead of looking at me like I'm a complete weirdo, simply nods, as if in understanding, and says,

"There was food down there, you know"

I shrug,

"Yeah, but, effort. Plus, my body guard bat Kevin is out of town on business, someone needs to man the fort"

Again Bambi nods as if that is a completely normal excuse,

"I hear ya" And before I can reply to that, he adds, "You bought my Dad's truck"

"Yeah, his name is Gordan" I say with a nod "It hurt him to leave you"

Bambi smiles at me,

"I know, I met Gordan first, remember. I'm so glad he's owned by someone who can understand his woes"

Seriously. Woah. I have met my soul mate, this is it.

"Why are you up here?" I ask him.

Bambi gestures at the fire in the distance, probably surrounded by Team Teen united.

"Your sister asked me to come find you"

"Why, are you an assassin?" I eye him warily.

Bambi replies readily,

"Only on Wednesdays."

I hold up my fingers and make them into a cross,

"Be gone foul demon, the power of Christ compels you"

Bambi starts laughing again, and I stop to admire what a carefree sound that is. I begin to wonder about everything I've missed over the years by not coming back here sooner.

"How are your sisters?" I ask curiously, wondering if they're around here somewhere. They always hated Bella. Maybe I can convince them to stage a kidnapping for me.

"Rachel got a scholarship to Washington State, and Rebecca married a Samoan surfer - she lives in Hawaii now."

"Wow, married? That's kinda crazy"

"Tell me about it" Bambi says, rolling his eyes.

"So, Gordan tells me you rebuild cars, hows that going?"

"It's not, at the moment. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?"

I pretend to ponder that for a moment, and then shake my head,

"Nope. But I can get you one. I know a guy"

"If his name is Big Al and all he wants for it is to break my legs, then I'll have to pass" Bambi says, smiling slightly. His voice is deep and husky, pleasant and nice to listen to. I find myself enjoying talking to him for more than just one reason.

"No, HER name is Big Suze, and all she wants is your left big toe"

Bambi slaps his knee,

"Damn, if it was any toe but that one then I'd say sure, but I need my big lefty. He's the one I use to pick things up with"

I sigh mock wistfully,

"Ah, so close, yet so far...you wanna go for a walk on the beach" I ask, feeling restless.

Bambi nods happily,

"Onward and upward, young Jedi" he says.

I grab hold of his hand and yank him out of my evil lair and over to the beach, singing the theme tune to Thunderbirds on my way down the rocky hill. Bambi catches onto the tune, and begins humming the back-ground track to complement my singing.

This dude, is cool.

I like his company. I have decided that he will be my new friend. I haven't ever taken to somebody so quickly before. It usually isn't so easy for me to feel this..comfortable, around someone. Yet here we are.

After a few moments of walking silently together on the beach though, I turn to him.

"Why did Bella want you to find me? Really?" I ask, still assuming it has something to do with disposing of my body in the sea.

Bambi seems to contemplate that for a moment, and then says,

"I don't know, really. She said something about the Cullens"

Oh, jesus.

"What about them?"

He shrugs,

"They're not meant to come onto the reservation"

Ok, that pushes at something inside my head. Why would the Cullens be banned from coming to La Push? Is it a vampy thing? So many questions I want to ask Edward, so many things I want to know about him and his family. But I can't ask, because I promised.

I can ask Bambi though.

"Why can't the Cullens come onto the reservation? One too many keg parties gone wrong?" I snicker to myself, the thought of Edward, or any of the Cullen family, throwing a beach party is hilarious. On so many levels.

Bambi makes a face at me,

"I'm not really supposed to talk about it"

Well, now I'm super nosified.

"Oh, go on, I can keep a secret" I mean, just look how I haven't gone gallivanting around calling in Buffy for back up.

Bambi eyes me curiously for a moment, and then asks,

"Do you like scary stories?"

HELL TO THE YES!

"I love all stories. As a general rule" I admit, trying to keep my grin at bay by sheer force of will.

After a few more moments of pausing, for dramatic effect I'm sure, Bambi begins,

"Do you know any of our old stories, about where we came from - the Quileutes, I mean?"

Do I know any? Pfft, of course I do. I am the story fanatic here.

"I know about how you're meant to be descended from wolves" I reply easily.

Bambi smiles widely at me and nods,

"Exactly. Most believe that the wolves are our brothers still. It's against tribal law to kill them."

As it should be. Who would want to hurt an innocent little fluffy wolf? Apart from the lumberjack axeman in red riding hood of course.

"Then there are the stories about the cold ones." Bambi contues, his tone dropping a few degrees, capturing my interest again.

First of all, the cold who now? What, is he talking about the abominable snow rock of Forks? Beware of his icy fury!

But, instead of all that, I say,

"Do you mean vampires?" Again, just a guess based on bare facts.

Bambi blinks in surprise,

"Yeah, I guess so"

HA! Goal in one motherfraker! I AM ON FIRE! Cue break dance solo!

"Why are you break dancing?" Bambi asks, looking quite amused.

"Dance with me, Bambi!" I yell, twirling in a circle, letting the wind whip my long dark hair around.

Bambi doesn't need much convincing to behave like a fool for me. Good, I like that in a friend.

Now, I don't know if you've ever seen two teenagers breaking dancing together on a deserted beach for no other reason than to amuse themselves, but let me tell you, it's a pretty special thing to behold.

We end up holding onto each other as we spin around and around and around, eventually falling to sandy floor beneath us. I'm laughing uncontrollably, tears in my eyes from the salty air. Bambi is still laughing like he's high, as he starts to spread out like an angel in the sand.

Whne we've calmed down enough to speak, Bambi picks up his story from before without having to be asked,

"There are stories of the cold ones as old as the wolf legends, and some much more recent. According to legend, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land."

Ohhhh, naughty vampires. I'll have to store those questions up for Edward when he finally decides to let me ask them. Hopefully before I lose my mind with curiosity.

"Your great-grandfather knew vampires? Awesome!"

I stare up at the darkening sky, feeling at peace, with the earth under my body creating the illusion that I'm floating on the edge of the world. I can feel Bambi's dark penetrating eyes on me for a moment, before they flicker away back up to the sky.

"He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf-well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves."

Excellent, excellent. Werewolves, vampires, now, the real question is...where the hell are my Unicorn brethren?

"So, the vampires are the werewolves enemy?"

Huh, I wonder how Edward views that information.

"Yeah, I guess they are. But this pack that came to our territory during my great-grandfather's time was different. They didn't hunt the way others of their kind did - they weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose them to the pale-faces." Bambi says, and he sounds thoughtful.

"Did these vampires not hunt humans then?" I ask, secretly way more into this than I should be.

Bambi nods vigirously,

"That's what they claimed"

"So, what does that have to do with the Cullens? Are they like the vampires your greatgrandfather met?"

I don't have time to consider if that question is technically breaking my deal with Edward or not.

"No, they're the same vampires" Bambi answer solemly,.

Huh, I knew Edward was old. I'm gonna have to text him some old man jokes later.

"Sounds like your great grandfather knew what he was doing" I say, still turning over in my head all the new information Bambi just gave me.

"I suppose so. But don't tell anyone I told you this ok, it's violating the treaty"

I hold my fingers in a girl scout pose,

"I swear by the legend of Harry Potter that I shall reveal nothing"

Bambi snickers quietly and murmurs,

"Good enough, Lyna"

Bitch did not just use the second half of my name!

"Don't calk me that, its Ever, you mongrel"

Bambi pokes his tongue out at me, his pretty face open and amused,

"Stop calling me Bambi. Deal?"

"Nope, bite me wolf boy"

"Fine,  _ **Lyna**_ , whatever you say, oh evil one"

Damn him!

"EVER!" I hear my sister shout in the distance.

I turn a mock frightened look on Bambi,

"Quick, we have to plan a murder in twenty seconds! My sister must disappear without a trace"

Bambit sits up, a far too serious look on his face. He clicks his fingers,

"We could feed her to my pet Unicorn"

I stare at him, open mouthed, then I sit up and grab hold of his arm, looking into his eyes as I say,

"I think I'm gonna keep you, Bambi"

His lips twitch, and a slow smile spreads over his pretty face,

"Promise?"

I hold out my fist. He bumps it with his own fist.

I officially have a new best friend forever. I have a solid plan for removing Bella the moanerator from my life.

Now, if I can only get Edward fucking Cullen out of my head for five fucking seconds, then life would be sweet.


	7. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

I know it's a dream. I can feel that it's a dream. But that doesn't make it any less real to me right now. Doesn't make any sense to you, right? Well good, because it makes fuck all sense to me too. We should all at least be on the same page, if nothing else.

I'm walking through the forest, the one that surrounds and overtakes Forks, for the most part. Although it doesn't look right. This forest is not the green and lively woodland world that I grew up exploring. It's dark, cold and lifeless. Or maybe not actually. It's more like the life within the forest is undead, seeking solace in this dark, hopeless place.

I walk on though, never for a moment considering the possibility that maybe I should turn back. Go home. Be safe. Hide. Because I cannot hide from this place. It is everywhere, and I am lost in it's eternal stillness. Frozen and yet not unmoving. Watchful. The forest is watching me. Or something else is.

A cold shudder runs up my spin, and I begin walking faster, wanting to find warmth as fear begins to leak into my consciousness. The tree's are more black than green and brown, the bark chipped and frayed as if scorched by fire and left to rot. All plants seem to be dying, dead or wishing for such a fate to befall them so they don't hae to watch their brethren suffer without them.

I feel lost, so lost, and there is no one who shall find me. No one who should want to.

My heart is hollow in my chest and I worry it might wither, just like everything else around me. But still, I walk onward, striving for a place I might never reach, craving a light I may never see.

Lost and alone.

But not weak.

Whilst everything around me is hopeless, I still feel hope rise within me. One clear thought rings out above the doubt.

I need to find him.

I need to find them.

They need me to find them. They. Need. Me.

We will put things right, together. The forest will be reborn, I just know it, if I find them. If I find my fire. If I find my ice. I need both. I want both.

 **He**  is my heart.

And  _He_  is my soul.

I cannot have one without the other.

Three jaggged pieces, like a broken piece of glass. Split. Smashed. Damaged.

But they fit. We **fit.**

As it was always meant to be. As it was intended.

Or maybe not.

It was a making of our own.

I walk on. My feet tire, and my eyes begin to blur with the darkness around me. But I do not stop. I will not bend, break or falter. I am strong. Fierce. Brave.  _His_  live wire.  **His**  blazing flame.

The forest gets darker, shouting, screaming voices telling me to turn back. Hide. Fear. This. Place. Chills run through my heart. The creaming hurts my ears, my mind, my soul.

But then I see them.

Standing at the edge of a wood that has no true end. Only edges to which one can throw themselves through. Risk it all. Take the leap. Faith, they call it.

Love. So simple. But deadly.

Worth. Fighting. For.

Always.

 _He_  has fire at his back, the righteous heat of the rebellious spirit. A spirit that ignites with my soul.

 **He**  stands tall and proud and noble, a solid strength of will to match my own.

They hold their hands out to me, offering...everything.

I move towards them, running, unhindered joy in my heart, bringing it back to life with every step.

But then the dead earth beneath me begins to crumble. I run faster.

I hear the shouted whispers inside my head,

"Run, Ev's, run. Faster."

"Come to us, Lyna"

I have to jump. I must. It is the only way. I cannot fall through the cracks.

"We will catch you"

"We will never let you fall"

A crack opens under my feet. I jump.

Catch. Me. If. You. Can.

...

I'm woken up, AGAIN!, by my emo twin. I scrub at my eyes and sit up in bed only to see Bella faffing around with our laptop, practically vibrating in her seat. She has been acting all weird. Not that I really mind. If Bella wants to take a walk on the wild side (my side) then she can feel free to do so. As long as the woman doesn't wake me up God damn it.

Although I'm glad that dream ended when it did. Actually I would have rather it ended right after it began. My mind is far too vivid sometimes. Too real for it's own good. God, if I keep having dreams, nightmares, like that then I'm gonna end up in a special facility for truly crazy people.

I clear my throat, loudly. But Bella is either completely immersed in what she's doing, or she's ignoring me on purpose. Either way, fuck her and all her little doggies too.

Deciding to let my sister stew in her own inner turmoil for a while, I get up and go to have a shower. When I come out though, even after blow drying my hair which takes fucking ages, she's  _still_  totally zones into the computer. She looks slightly deranged, which, to be fair, is preferable to her usual emo 'woe 'es me' appearance. But I'm meant to be a good sister, so I get dressed quickly in shorts, thick tights and a scarlet red t-shirt with a dancing rock, a quivering piece of paper, and an awkward pair of scissors all standing in a rough circle, the three of them holding two guns and aiming at each other. Underneath them it reads  **"Rock, paper, scissors-Who lives, who dies. You decide."**

Anyway, I pull a chair over to her and sit down, scanning the screen.

Uh oh. Woman's just Yahoo'd vampires. Which, first of all-

"Bella...I'm asking this because I love you...um...why did you use Yahoo instead of Google?" It's a perfectly valid first question, alright.

My emo twin seems to blink out of her daze at my direct questions. She frowns down at the screen and replies,

"I always use Yahoo"

I pinch my nose, because woah, I might need to sell her to Arabian camel riders for admitting that out loud.

"Yes, but,  **why**?"

"I don't like Google" She sniffs at me indignantly.

Fair. Fair enough.

I place a hand on Bella's shoulder,

"Is there a particular reason for that?"

Bella shrugs, her eyes still riveted on the screen,

"I think Google is too pretentious. It's like it thinks it knows everything, and needs to shove it in your face."

Son of a biscuit!

"Well, yeah, that's the whole point, you dinosaur brain! It _ **does**_  know everything!" I almost shout at her.

Bella sniffs at me again,

"If you're allowed to have a pet bat sidekick, then why can't I like Yahoo"

Ok, now bitch is goin' down. Down town to China town bitches.

"You did NOT just compare my beautiful misunderstood psychopathic bat to motherfraking YAHOO!"

"I don't see the difference" Bella mutters.

She...she doesn't...she doesn't see..she...alright, that's it!

"You are a despicable human being" I say to her, disgusted by her words.

 _Kevin is just like Yahoo_. That bitch. She better hope Kevin didn't hear that. Just in case though, I scramble up and go to grab Kevin from his secret hiding spot underneath my bed. I bring him back over to Bella and sit down again. I hold him out to Bella, even though she does not deserve to be in his mighty presence right now. Or ever. But especially now.

"Say sorry, Isy" I order, with feeling.

"That's stupid, Ever"

"No it's not. You hurt Kevin, now apologise before he decides to kill you in your sleep"

"If he's planning to kill me in my sleep just because he;s upset, then I don't think he deserves an apology"

I sigh heavily. God, she's like a baby leprechaun.

"Be the bigger person, Isy, and say you're sorry before this gets out of hand"

Bella makes a grumbling sound, but finally forces out the words,

"I'm sorry"

"Kevin"

"Ever!"

"Say it!"

"I'm sorry  _Kevin"_

Good...good...but not quite good enough. Kevin is still hurt by her words.

Bella finally turns her gaze to me when I whisper,

"Kiss him"

She looks disgruntled and, quite frankly, flabbergasted. Oh yeah, I'm goin' full on Disney made up words over here. That's how upset I am on Kevin's behalf.

"No, Ever, I will not kiss your bat"

"Kiss him"

"No"

"Just kiss him"

"No, I won't do it"

"Just do it, Isy. Be sorry"

"I am sorry, now go away. And take your blasted bat with you"

"Kiss him"

"NO!"

"Kiss. Him."

Bella makes a mutinous sound of aggravation, and finally leans down to press a wet kiss on Kevin. When she gets back up she gives me an 'are you happy now' look.

I arch an eyebrow at her and wipe away the slobber from Kevin.

"I said kiss him, Isy, not make out with him. Jesus."

Bella glares at me and blushes furiously,

"I hate you sometimes"

I ignore that untoward comment and point at the screen,

"What ya looking at vampires for?"

Bella blushes again and she bites her lip.

"Um...because...I think maybe...I think maybe the Cullens are vampires"

I simply raise and eyebrow at her. Huh, I got to give it to her, she figured it out faster than I thought she would. Now, to tell, or not tell, that is the question.

I take out my phone and text Edward as Bella watches. I wave back at the screen and say,

"Alright, get back to your research then"

Bella looks confused at my nonchalance about the subject, but she doesn't question it. Bella is far too used to my weird tendencies to start questioning them now. She goes back to looking up bullshit about vampy people on the intrenetia. And such.

**"Bella the emo master general just Yahoo'd about vampires"**

He doesn't text back for a while, and I begin to wonder if he actually will. But then,

**"Yahoo? Has Google crashed or something?"**

**"Nope. Apparently she just likes Yahoo better."**

**"That's stupid"**

**"She compared liking Yahoo to Kevin's existence"**

**"...to his _face_?"**

**"Pretty much"**

**"The nerve of some people"**

**"I asked her to apologise to him"**

**"Did she?"**

**"At first. Then she just made out with him."**

**"I won't tell John, he'd be heartbroken"**

**"Would he challenge Kevin to a duel?"**

**"A little part of you wants that to happen"**

**"Obviously."**

**"My money's on Kevin"**

**"Smart man"**

**"Wait...hold on, lets get back to Bella researching vampires"**

**"Oh, yeah, she thinks your family are vampires"**

**"Why?"**

**"I dunno...hold on"**

That's a fair point actually. Why  _does_  Bella think the Cullens are vampires? I mean I know she's been suspicious of them for a while. But it's quite a leap to just assume they're vampires.

Well, I know _ **I**_  did. But I'm a bit of a speshul snowflake like that. I can get away with assuming people are vampires. There must be something that triggered this for Bella.

I poke her on the shoulder and ask,

"Where did this vampire theory come from, anyway?"

Bella looks a little startled for a moment, and then blushes again before saying,

"Jacob told me about the 'cold ones'. Didn't he tell you?"

I make a face at her,

"Who the hell is Jacob?"

Bella rolls her eyes,

"You know exactly who I'm talking about, don't play dumb"

Jacob? Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob...hhhhmmmmm...OH! She means...

"Bambi? You mean Bambi, right?"

Emo Mc frowny puss makes an annoyed sound,

"Yes. Fine. I mean Bambi"

"Ah, right, so why did Bambi's story make you think the Cullens are vampires?"

"He told me about the 'cold ones'. That has to mean vampire"

I scoff and wave a hand,

"Cold ones. Hot ones. Old ones. Fat ones. Who cares?"

"I care!" Bella snaps, with so much emotion in her voice that it makes me pause and stare at her for a little while.

"Why?"

"Just...just because"

"Are in  _wuv_  with the JanatorP?"

Bella starts to sputter amusingly, her eyes bugging out in a very unflattering way. See, the problem with having a twin is that you can constantly see what faces look unattractive on you.

"No, of course not...don't be ridiculous"

I smirk at her. She glares at me.

"Calm down, Isy, I was just joking"

Bella snorts at me,

"No you weren't"

I shrug noncommittally. We sit there in awkward silence. But then, that's always been our thing. Finally, I get bored and I say,

"Bella"

She looks at me suspiciously,

"What?"

I hold up my phone and wiggle it a bit,

"I told Edward that you made out with Kevin. JP is gonna be so pissed"

After that things descend rather quickly into chaos as Bella and I do battle for my phone. She lunges at me, and my chair topples over, taking us both to the floor heavily. I clutch the phone to my chest like it's my ability to breathe, and Bella desperately tries to get at it. We struggle for a while, both of us rolling around on the floor. Bella trying to STEAL my phone, and me innocently pinching her in sensitive places so she'll let go and get her heavy ASS off of me.

Eventually Bella realises that I am superior to her in every way, and she backs down. The battle is won, but her look of death promises that the war is not yet over.

Bella storms out of the house and let her, hoping she'll just walk it off.

I text Edward,

**"Houston. We have a problem"**

**"John says he'll rip Kevin's head off. It's hand to hand combat time."**

**"Ward?"**

**"Yes Ev's"**

**"Did you happen to mention to JP that Kevin is a bat, and not a human being?"**

**"I did not"**

**"This could be fun"**

**"Word"**

...

I actually sleep dreamlessly that next night, which is a small miricle as I don't think I can handle much more vivid fucked up dreams about...stuff. The thing is, I don't even really remember exactly what happens in my dreams, I can only remember what it  ** _felt_**  like. Which in my opinion is bad enough as it is.

I go downstairs after getting dressed, showered ect ect, Bella is still fuming at me, so I do what I always do when she's annoyed. I ignore her and wait for my twin to get over herself. It's a timeless skill.

Dad and me end up talking for a while over breakfast, and I'm again reminded of the reason why Mom ran off with him and got married so young. Most of the time Charlie is rough around the edges and quiet. The typical small town cop. But there are moments when he smiles, and his eyes light up. It makes it so obvious why Mom was infatuated with him as a teenager.

I truly have missed Dad over the years, I feel like he's missed so much of my life just because we lived so far from each other. But now, we don't, so I'll just have to make up for as much lost time as I can.

Bella and I arrive at school early and I spend that time writing. Whilst Bella sits there brooding. But that's not exactly new.

I don't even realise when the parking lot get busy and Beany knocks on my door. He has to call out to me a couple times to get my attention. I smile openly at him and climb out of Gordan.

"Hey, Sid" he says.

"Sup, Beany"

"The sunshine apparently"

I chuckle a little,

"Uh, if you say so Beany"

We star walking into school,

"Get up to much on the weekend?" Beany asks me.

I shrug,

"Bella and I had a phone fight and she made out with Kevin"

Beany pulls a face,

"Well that's an image I could have done without"

I open my mouth to reply when I suddenly hear Goldy call out my name. Uh oh. A look passes over Beany's face, and for a moment it actually alarms me. But in an instant it's gone, and I'm left wondering what the fuck is going on between Beany and Goldy.

Beany smiles tightly at me and says,

"Gotta dash, be late for Physics"

I scowl after him as he practically runs away. Beany hates physics, in fact he's do pretty much anything, incluidng acccidentaly 'tripping' down a few steps just to get out of going. So why the rush to be early?

I look up in time to see Goldy watching after Beany with an almost wistful look on his face. But then his attention snaps to me again and all traces of sadness are gone from his face, replaced by a massive grin.

Alright, that's it, forget Edwardo and his vampy drama, I'm checking this shit out as soon as I find an opening. Time for some friendly snooping me thinks.

"Hey, Ever" Gloldy says to me excitedly, and he looks so damn happy to see me. It's odd.

I smile at him,

"Hiya, Goldy"

"What did you do yesterday, then?" Goldy asks kindly.

"Worked on my essay." Which isn't a lie. I did.

Goldy frowns and nods,

"Ah, when is that due-thursday, right?"

I shake my head,

"Nah, I think Wednesday" In fact I know it's Wednesday because Bella wouldn't shut up about it.

"Wednesday?" He frowns again, "Oh...what are you writing yours on?"

"How does A midsummer night's dream broad frame of reference heighten its use of contrast as an atmospheric device?" And ain't that just a mouthful folks.

Goldy stares at me like I've just spoken some kind of alien language.

"Um, oh, right. I'll have to work on that tonight..." He shuffles nervously and I get a bad feeling, "I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to go out"

Oh hell no!

Mayday mayday! All systems failure!

"Uh..."

"Well, we could go to dinner or something... and I could work on it later."

Uh...

"Goldy...look...I...I don't think we should do that. At least not in the way that you're thinking"

Goldy's expression changes, becomes guarded,

"Oh...why? What do you mean?"

"I mean if you wanted to hang out with me and Bella and Velma and Chatty and...Beany, then fine, we can do that"

Goldy balks when I say Beany's name, just like I thought he would. Hmmm, interesting.

"Why...what's Eric told you?" Goldy asks, sounding scared as all fuck.

What the hell does he think I'm gonna say?

"Look, Goldy...if you ever repeat what I'm about to say to you then I will beat you bloody, understand?"

Goldy nods a little, still appearing freaked out. I feel bad then.

I'm careful to soften my tone when I say,

"I think me going out with you, as in a date, would...hurt Chatty's feelings"

Goldy again nods slowly,

"Jessica...right"

And then I add, because I can't help myself,

"And...I think...maybe it would hurt Beany's feelings too"

Goldy gets that deer in the headlights look on his face, and I have to stifle a laugh. I'm so mean in the mornings.

"What...what...did Eric...say...that?" Goldy just about chokes.

I pat Goldy's shoulder and say,

"Nothing. It's what you both haven't said that worries me, Goldy"

Then I just about run away before Goldy can say another word. I'm beginning to get a more obvious picture of what's happening. Although maybe it's best if I just ask Beany outright? Although he did say he's tell me when he was ready...God, first Edward, no Beany, can't a girl just be really nosy and grill somebody for answers anymore?

...

"Dad, Jessica and Angela are going to look at dresses for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they wanted me to help them choose... do you mind if I go with them?" Bella asks, she sends me a look, as if expecting me to ask too, since I was also asked to attend this little girly date. I make a face at her.

 _No way_  am I going shopping with Chatty. She didn't shut up all day about that fucking dance, and I'm tired of it. I want to be alone. Sort of.

Ish.

Actually, the truth is, since Edward wasn't in school today, for vampy reasons I'm sure, we agreed to meet up tomorrow night. He's picking me up at my house, which should be interesting if he expects to meet my Dad. Also, I'm no psychic, but I think tomorrow might be when Ward finally lets me ask him a few questions about being a vampy person. I'm way more excited than I probably should be considering I'm basically handing myself over to Edward for the night. And we'll be together. Alone.

I know we've been alone together before. But this feels...different. You know.

And, yes, I'll admit right now that I'm also just kind of excited to see Edward. Not because of the vampy stuff...but...just...because I've  _missed_  Edward. It scares me a little how much to be honest. But, hey, I'm never one to deny the obvious, so...might as well keep rolling on, until...I don't know. Until Edward does something to displease me.

I'm sure he'll come up with something.

"Jessica Stanley?" I hear Dad ask Bella.

"And Angela Weber." Bella adds, sighing.

Ugh, the thought of Isy the emo trying to be social is giving me a headache.

"But you're not going to the dance, right?" Dad looks confused. Welcome to the club Dad, pick up a badge on your way in.

"No, Dad, but I'm helping them find dresses - you know, giving them constructive criticism." Bella says, sounding exasperated.

I can't help but smirk to myself.

Dad seems to realise that it would be better just to nod and agree rather than ask for too many details. He does look at me though and ask,

"Are you going as well?"

I clear my throat and Bella says,

"Yes" at the same time I say "Nope"

Dad looks between us, clearly confused again.

Bella frowns at me and crosses her arms,

"Since when are you not coming?"

I arch an eyebrow at her and put my half read book down,

"Since when did I say I  _was_ coming?"

"So...are you staying home...or going out with your sister and friends?" Dad asks, appearing wary of getting between his two daughters.

I murmur,

"Neither. I'm going out with someone."

"Who?" Bella and Dad ask at the same time. They both look at each other, as if surprised that they would have the same thought, let alone ever speak in unison. It's enough to almost make me laugh, but I refrain. Just.

For a moment I consider lying, but then I realise how stupid that would be considering where we live. It's not like I can just make someone up, is it?

I take a deep breathe, and say,

"Edward Cullen"

And then I make my great escape upstairs before either of them can start asking inappropriate questions (Dad) or shouting like a mad banshee (Bella).

I'm feeling pretty good about tomorrow.

Oh, and it's not a date.

It's not!

I promise!

At least I think it's not a date.

Oh god damn it!


	8. Port Angeles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

How has this happened? I feel like I'm being voluntarily kidnapped. Like I'm choosing to go, but at the same time I'd rather throw myself out of a moving vehicle to escape the situation I am now in.

Bella keeps smiling at me. It's disturbing. She's basically trying to placate me after somehow tricking me into coming with her to Port Angeles with Chatty and Velma. I feel cheated. Woman wouldn't shut up about it though. She kept saying we could stop by the bookstore and look up some more vampire stuff. I had to physically restrain myself from shouting at her that I already KNOW the Cullens are vampires. No research needed.

But I'm not telling her, because Edward asked me not to, and it's still  _his_  secret.

We've also now agreed to meet in Port Angeles. Or actually, he'll pick me up from the dress shop and we'll go...driving..or...something. I don't really care what we end up doing as long as it leads to me getting to ask loads of questions about him, both vampire based and, just, Edward based.

So, now, here I am in a car with the two of the most annoying girls in my life, and Velma, who I actually quite like. She's nice and quiet and unassuming. Not exactly best friend material, at least not for me, but definitely someone I can easily be around without wanting to murder them with my bare hands. Or a scrabble board.

Don't ask.

One thing's for sure, Chatty drives like she talks, i.e. fast. We get to Port Angeles by four. I've never been one for a girly night out, having always made quicker friends with boys rather than girls. Girls tend not to like me. To be fair, I don't like a lot of them right back, so it all balances out in the end.

Chatty puts on some whiny emo songs, each and every one of them could be Bella's anthem, and she blah blah-as on about boys and boys and boys and oh, guess what, more boys.

Yay.

Velma seemed pretty underwhelmed compared to Chatty about going to the dance, and Chatty wouldn't stop going on about what her type of guy was. I interrupted with a monologue about trees, and yes I have a few monologues stored away, have no fear, and Velma sent me a grateful, if slightly weirded out, glance. So, all is good in the hood, as  _no one_  says. Ever. Apart from me, but that's because I'm cool.

I worked hard to get to a place in my life where I could say things like that and get away with it. A lot of strange looks and coughed insults had to be suffered through first, but now people seem to just assume I'll say something weird and don't question it.

I won't lie, it feels pretty good. I'd highly recommend it as a personal life goal, because it is very satisfying.

Port Angeles is quite a nice place, a little more put together than Forks. But then, I prefer Forks mainly because of it's little quirks and imperfections, makes a better story that way. No one wants to read about a boring clean city, when you could read about a small broken little town in the middle of bubblefuck nowhere. Apparently vampires like to live there. But that's a secret, so don't tell anyone.

Everything was fine until Bella had to go and admit that neither of us had ever been to a dance before back in Phoenix. Oh, God. Here we go.

"Didn't you ever go with a boyfriend or something?" Chatty asks us dubiously as we walk through the front doors of the dress shop.

I slide a glance to Bella and snort out a laugh. Bella glares at me. I dare her to say she's ever had a boyfriend and prove my snort of humour wrong. She sniffs at me and looks away. I thought so Isy.

"I've never had a boyfriend or anything close. I didn't go out much." Bella says, apparently trying to convince Chatty of something that seems so obvious to me. But then, I've known Bella all my life. I guess I have the advantage. Or the disadvantage, depending on which way you look at it.

"Why haven't you been to a dance before?" Chatty asks pointedly. I should think that was obvious too. But I don't say that out loud. Twins stand together in the face of...bitchiness, and all that.

"No one asked me" Bella admits honestly. And I can't help but wonder; why? Stop saying things emo twin of mine!

Chatty looks skeptical as we, and by we I mean they, look around at the very limited dress choice.

"People ask you out here, and you tell them no"

Yes, because Bobbity boo Bella has a wittle (MASSIVE) crush on a certain a-hole who looks exactly like my...um, Edward.

Shut up.

"Well except for Tyler" Velma says quietly.

Um, what now?

I turn to my twin,

"Bella, have you accepted a gentleman callers invitation without informing me?" So I can write some pre-prepared jokes for the occasion.

"Excuse me" Isy the emo sputters at Velma "What did you say?"

Oh, sure, ignore me emo twin, that's very polite.

"Tyler told everyone he's taking you to prom" Velma supplies.

I choke on another laugh as Bella snaps,

"He said what?"

"I told you it wasn't true" Velma says to Chatty. But I'm too busy trying not to die from laughing so hard. On the inside.

"Aw, Bella and Bash. I can see the wedding photos already" I say, teasingly. Of course Bella takes it seriously and assaults me by slapping my arm. She is so  _violent._

I should file some kind of complaint with social services. Maybe they'd take her away to live with a hillbilly family in Texas. I amuse myself with that image for a while. Ha, Bella in dungarees. Classic.

"That's why Lauren doesn't like you" Chatty says with a snicker.

Who? Oh, right, Corny.

"Do you think that if I ran him over with my truck he would stop feeling guilty about the accident? That he might give up on making amends and call it even?" Bella says through gritted teeth.

See, violent.

"How about you?" Chatty zero's her gaze in on me. Oh balls.

"What about me what?" I ask suspiciously.

"Have you had boyfriends? Did you go to the dance with any of them?" Chatty asks, a certain knowing gleam in her eye. Damn.

I shrug half heatedly. Yes, I've had boyfriends. Yes, I've been to parties. No, I'm not a 'slut' or whatever. No, I'm not a virgin either. Not that there's anything wrong with being those things, if you want to be. Live and let live I say.

"Sort of" I answer ambiguously.

Its Bella's turn to snort out a laugh. I poke my tongue out at her.

"Tell them about Zane, the really tall rancher from Texas who you skipped school with all the time" Bella says, sounding a little vindictive.

Traitor.

"Zane?" Chatty questions, looking a bit excited now.

I shake my head,

"Um...there's nothing to tell, we just went out for a few months. He was a nice guy, just a bit too...serious"

I almost laugh at myself. Too serious. And yet now I'm almost obsessed with a guy who could be the poster boy for the phrase 'I am not amused'.

"What about the guy with all the tattoo's?" Bella goes on almost gleefully, "What was his name?...uh...Nick, right?"

Hey, I don't care what anyone says, tattoo's are sexy and cool. Well, not all of them, obviously. I mean as much as I like Unicorns, I don't think one should tattoo them on their thigh. For example.

I roll my eyes,

"Shut up, Isy"

"Or what about Dean, the one who just got out of Juvey" Bella adds, giving me a smirk.

Chatty gasps,

"Juvey? Oh my God, you went out with a criminal!"

Thank you very much Isy the emo.

"It wasn't a big deal, he stole like, maybe three cars" I wave a hand dismissively.

"Ever has a thing for the bad boys" Bella teases, poking me in the shoulder. I flick her on the nose in revenge.

Oh, ok, now I see, this is her getting me back for the whole JP-Kevin-phone battle-thing.

And I do not have a thing for bad boys!

She says whilst trying to ignore that she now has a thing for a  _vampire._  That's about as bad boy as you can get. That's right up there with serial killer.

"So, did any of them take you to the dance?" Chatty asks, recovering quickly.

"No" I answer flatly. Because that would have been stupid. I knew what kind of boys they were, and they knew what kind of girl I was. Sort of. At least they knew I wasn't bothered about pep rallies and school dances and shit like that.

It didn't make them bad boyfriends, or bad people. But Chatty apparently thinks it does, because she screws up her nose and says,

"What kind of boyfriend doesn't ask their girlfriend to a school dance?"

I have to stop myself from kicking her.

"Um, how about the ones who have enough imagination to take their girlfriends on a real date instead"

Chatty blushes a little and Velma, bless her little heart, intervenes and starts talking about trying on dresses. Luckily Chatty has the attention span of a squirrel and is easily distracted by such an obvious tactic.

Dress shopping doesn't last as long as we thought it would. Bella and the thimbles were planning on going to dinner afterward, but it's too early for that. When Chatty and Velma talk about going down to the bay, Bella convinces them to go ahead and that she'd meet them at the restaurant. Or actually she said we, because neither Chatty nor Velma know about me going out- _hanging out_ -with Edward. I thought it better not to invite gossip quite so blatantly.

I try to escape going to the bookstore by saying I'll text Edward to meet me earlier than we planned, but Bella bossy pants is having none of it and practically drags me along with her. I give up in the end, just so she'll release her tallon-like death grip on my arm before I have to beat her off of me.

Anyway, Bella kidnaps me to a bookstore that looks more like a wiccan's heaven than a place to buy books. Now, usually, I love a good bookstore, I could browse for hours on end, and have done in the past. But right now I'm a little restless, and not just in my eagerness to see Edward. I don't really like lying to Bella, even though technically I'm not lying really, I'm just...not telling.

Bella seems disapointed at the content of the bookstore, so I put an arm around her and squeeze reassuringly.

"No worries, sis, there's always Amazon"

Bella rolls her eyes, but doesn't retort anything back at me. I take that as a sign to leave her to her brooding. I know when my sister wants to be alone...which isn't difficult as she pretty much wants to be alone all of the time. It's more of a challenge to know when she actually does want me around.

I end up walking without thinking too much about the direction. Lingering thoughtfully through the streets, considering my stance on Bella knowing about the Cullens, and what in the hell I actually feel for Edward. I don't know how I want him to feel about me either. I wish, sometimes that it was simple, that I could be like Chatty (I mean not actually  _like_   _her_ , because then I'd have to constantly slap myself), and just know that I want the cute guy to ask me out and go to the dance and be popular and blah blah blah.

Not that I want any of that stuff, but my life would be a lot less confusing if I did.

I guess Bella is right in a way, I have always gone for a certain type of guy, and in some ways that worries me. Am I only interested in Edward because he's...dangerous?

But, no, that can't be right. It's more than that, it has to be. I've never felt so...intensely about anyone before. I really want to know Edward. I want to know everything there is to know about him, and I want to be the only person who knows him that way. But what does Edward want?

It's as I'm pondering this, that Edwardo himself texts me saying he's parked outside of the dress store where we agreed to meet. I text back saying that I'm on my way back there from the bookstore and for him to hang tight and wait for me. I speed up a little, that big bubble of excitement fizzing in my stomach at the thought of spending some time alone with Edward.

I may not know exactly what I want, but I do know that I like being around Ward. Whatever the actual reason might be doesn't really matter right now.

I realise however, after going down a few roads, that I'm not sure exactly where I am. Whilst thinking about my own personal shit, I seem to have taken a wrong turn without noticing. God damn it.

I'm about to text Edward to come find me, when a group of assholes, and yeah I can already tell that they're assholes, come round the corner I was heading for. They look a bit like trouble to me, and not the good fun kind either. No, that's what  _ **I**_  look like. They don't look that much older than me. And they're joking loudly with each other in the cliche 'guy' way. Or the genuine asshole way, as I like to call it.

I narrow my eyes at them, before looking away and trying to swiftly move on.

But asshole number one has other ideas. Stupid ideas that include talking to me.

"Hey, there!"

I glance at them out of instinct and they all seem to slow down in reaction to my accidental attention. The closest one to me, a heavyset, dark-haired man in his early twenties, was the asshole who spoke. He takes a step forward, toward me.

Dumbass better back that shit up.

I roll my eyes, hoping they take the hint, and carry on walking. But asshole number two has other ideas as well. A lot of bad ideas going on around here apparently. He calls out to me,

"Hey, wait!" Yeah, like that's happening.

Assholes incorporated don't like being ignored.

They come after me with all the grace of a nest of earwigs. I turn around, all to aware that I wouldn't be able to outrun them, and that it would be moronic to try. I mean, I'm a good runner and all, but four against one is never fair.

"Back off" I say firmly, not raising my voice,just in case that gets them all pissy.

"Don't be like that, sugar" Asshole number three says as they move closer to me.

My whole body coils up, the fight or flight instinct raging inside of me like a hurricane. I brace myself, feet apart, trying to give off a 'don't fuck with me' vibe. Even though I know these assholes would ignore it. To them I'm just a teenage girl, helpless, weak. Yeah, well, they can just try it. I may be small, but I'm fast, and strong, thanks to my running and those self defense classes I took, just in case.

I'm gonna wipe the floor with at least one of these fuckers, not going down without taking 'em with me.

Asshole two is the first truly out asshole himself, by grabbing hold of my arm. He's the closest to me right now, the rest a bit more spaced apart. I don't wait for him to say anything, the lecherous grin is enough warning for me.

I aim my knee right at his groin, and he's shocked enough that I get away it. He lets go when I yank my arm away and he groans in pain. I go for another kick at his knee, and it lands hard. Asshole number two goes down pretty easy.

Although his shout of pain seems to rouse the others out of their shock, and asshole number one comes at me. I make a move to do the same, but he grabs me fast, spinning me so that my back is pressed against his front. His hold is iron tight. I tell myself not to panic, and remembering one of my favourite moves, I lift my foot and bring it down hard on his, that stuns him for a few precious seconds whilst I pull away enough to jab my elbow into his nose. Asshole number one lets go of me to grab at his nose, and I use that time to go for another groin hit.

Of course then things get complicated as I stumble away from him. I feel a little bruised and achy from the force of those hits, and now I still have two assholes to deal with. And they look pissed. Still, I ready myself for the next attack.

But before any of them can come at me again, a silver Volvo comes speeding around the corner. It kind of tailspins as it stops because it was going so fast, and I blink when Edward steps out. Or I should say leaps out in front of me, a snarl snapping out of him like a whip. I suck in a harsh breathe at the sound. Shit just got real.

The assholes have mostly paused, but one of them, asshole number four, apparently hasn't quite realised how fucking stupid it would be to keep coming. Asshole number four does keep on coming, and I gasp again when a purely animalistic sound rips out of Edward and he grabs hold of asshole number four so fast that I didn't even really see it. I do hear it though when he breaks asshole number four's arm. The snapping sound is nasty, and the scream asshole number four lets out is even worse.

I moved into action however when Edward has asshole number four by the throat, he slams him up against the wall, and holds him a few feet off the ground. I know he could snap him in half easily, going by the strength I've already seen him exhibit. I rush forward, the other assholes scrambling up and fucking running like hell. But all my focus is on Edward as I move around him, trying to catch his eyes. I see with a start that his face is twisted into something full on fucking predator. I can see how much he wants to kill this guy in his eyes, I can fucking feel it emanating off of him in waves.

And as much as I don't give much of a shit if asshole number four dies or lives, I really don't want to hide a body with Edward tonight. Or any night really. But especially right now.

I place a hand on his arm, and he snarls again, his hand tightening on asshole number four. I don't let go though, instead leaning a bit forward and saying gently,

"Edward...Ward...let him go... _please_ "

I think it's the please that does it. Or possibly the use of my nickname for him.

Edward snaps his eyes to mine, looking deeply into them. I choke on yet another gasp, although this one is for a completely different reason. I see the want in his eyes, I see the need to kill, and something in me wants to sooth that urge, however I can. An intense crack of electricity fires between us, and somehow that appears to calm Ward enough that he moves back. He doesn't take his eyes off mine though, not even when he lets asshole number four fall to the ground, gasping like a fish out of water.

I stare back at him, his eyes glinting with a strange kind of madness. It's so damn predatory, fierce and lightening fast. But his voice comes out gritty and forced when he says to me,

"Get. In. The. Car."

We stare at each other for one last long moment, and then I move swiftly over to the Volvo, and climb inside, not taking my gaze away from Edward as I do so.

Not long after Edward gets into the driver side and we speed off. And I really do mean speed like fuck.

I look over at Edward, he appears to be finding it hard to control his anger. But despite that, I can't remember ever feeling so...safe. Since the second I saw Edward's face, I felt protected, in a way I've never felt before with anyone in my life.

I ask gently,

"Ward?"

"What?" He grits out.

"Tell me what I can do to make this easier for you" I reply steadily.

There's a long, tense, pause, and then he says, still sounding pissed off,

"Tell me something that will distract me. Say something weird, that should be easiest for you"

I almost take offense to that. But instead I think for a moment, and then reply,

"Do you think cows can climb trees? I mean I know goats can, and all. And they're pretty similar if you think about it. Cows and goats are both fluffy, they both make milk, and they both have...hooves" I hold my hands out in front of me and make them look like hooves to further prove my point, "So, really, they should both be able to climb trees. You know, as long as the tree was big and sturdy"

It's just one of those things that I think about in my free time. Like at night. I care enough about it to think about it sometimes, but not enough to Google it.

Edward doesn't say anything in response to that for a long time. Although his voice is slightly more level when he finally says,

"Goats in Morocco climb trees for the purpose of finding food"

I give him a arched eyebrow,

"Thank you, Ward. But that wasn't really my point, now, was it"

We descend into silence again, but it is not exactly an uncomfortable silence, more like we're both feeling out the situation and dealing with what happened.

Eventually though it starts to drive me crazy and I ask,

"What's wrong Ward? Come on, talk to me"

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Ev's" Edward says, and his hands grip onto the steering wheel even tighter than before. Which is really saying something. "But it wouldn't be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those..."

"Assholes" I supply knowingly.

"It makes me want to fucking kill them" Edward all but snarls, his voice going low and predatory again, "The thought of them hurting you in any way...God, I'd make them regret even thinking about you at all" The pure possessiveness in his tone makes me feel like I'm on fire, his words create flames at my centre like little burts of lust.

Something inside me squeezes and intensity ignites in the space between us. I reach over carefully and place a hand on his arm. He calms under my touch, and that makes electricity shoot through my body. Edward shivers when I smooth my fingers down over his hand, tracing his knuckles lightly.

Warmth and fire burn in my heart, creating a static storm of physical reaction between us. I see heat flash in his eyes, and that true want in his gaze matches my own perfectly.

Edward's expression suddenly turns from tense and angry to concerned,

"Ev's, are you alright? I know that must have been...a bit frightening"

I flip my hand in a 'so-so' gesture,

"Nah, I'm fine. I kicked ass."

Edward laughs a little darkly at that and replies,

"Yeah, I heard" He taps his temple when I give him a confused look.

Oh, he  _heard_. With his super duper vampy mind juju. I getcha.

"Look" Edward starts, his voice now smooth and gritty, sexy as all fuck if you ask me, "I figure it's about time you get to ask me questions about...my secret"

"You mean the secret about you being a vampy person?" I tease, smirking a little at his evasiveness, despite the intimacy swirling between us right now.

Edward replies drolly,

"Yes,  _that_  secret"

I practically bounce in my seat, and I raise my hand in the air to fist pump the small space above me.

Hell, yes!

"But" Edward continues, "I've come up with a way to make it fair"

Fair? What the frik frak does that mean?

Edward flickers his gaze over to me knowingly and continues,

"How about if you get ask me a question about anything you want, and then I get to ask you a question about about anything I want? Deal?"

I think about it for a moment, trying to consider all possible ways it could bite me in the ass to agree. When I can't think of any I smile bemusedly at Ward and reply,

"Yeah, ok, deal"

Edward smiles that smile that makes my stomach flip like an Olympian gymnast, damn him, and he says,

"Go on then, you start"

I try hard not to smirk as I ask,

"Do you think cows can climb trees?"

Edward chokes on a laugh, and shakes his head at me.

"Ev's, be serious, would you...and of course cows can't climb trees"

I scoff at him,

"How can you possibly know that? Spent a lot of time studying cows, did you?"

"I've been alive for a very long time, I know these things...and ah, ah, it's my turn to ask a question"

I roll my eyes at him, but wave a hand for Ward to continue. Although I have no idea what he could possibly want to know about me.

Edward seems to consider his question for a long time, as if sifting through a mental list that he'd made previously inside his head. Finally he looks over at me, and asks something I never would have expected,

"What is your favourite childhood memory?"

I turn to stare at Edward for a long moment, but he doesn't correct himself. In fact, he looks genuinely curious as to what my answer will be. I frown, thinking hard, sorting through my memories, until one stands out above the rest.

"One summer, when I was ten, Bella got really sick. She ended up going home to Phoenix a week early. Mom wanted me to come home too, but I refused to. I wanted to be with my Dad. I was mad at my Mom for trying to take the small amount of time I had with Dad away from me just because Bella had bad cold, or whatever. She finally agreed to let me stay. So, for a whole week, it was just me and Dad, spending time together. And since we didn't have Bella, it was ok for us to go camping. I don't usually like sleeping in the dirt, but I liked doing it in Forks. I liked how Dad seemed so much more relaxed out in the wilderness. We had so much fun together, just me and him, he taught me how to build a fire, and put up a tent all that stuff. We cooked together and explored the forest. We didn't have to talk much for it to feel...right. Then later we met up with the La Push lot, and they told me all sorts of stories by the fire. It was the best week of summer I ever had"

I felt almost selfish for having so much fun without Bella, but she always hated Forks, so I like to think she wouldn't mind.

Edward gets this speculative look on his face, and for a moment I think he might go for a follow up question, but instead he pointedly waits for me to speak. It's my turn. I think seriously about all the questions I've wanted to ask him for ages.

"When were you born?"

"June 20th, 1901, in Chicago, Illinois"

"Wow, Ward, you are really,  _really_ , old"

"Thanks, Ev's"

"You're welcome"

Edward takes that moment to ask his next question,

"When you leave High school, what do you want?"

I tilt my head,

"You mean, for College, or...?"

"In life"

"Oh" I have to think hard about that one, "I...I want to  _write_ , and I guess I'll go wherever that need to write leads me, whether that's college, or Europe or the moon, I don't know. I'll have to wait and find out."

This time it really looks like he wants to ask another question, but I beat him to it.

"What's it like to be a vampire?"

Edward's replies seemingly on instinct,

"It's worse than dying" I think his answer surprises both himself and me equally. Although maybe for different reasons.

I squeeze his arm again, trying to breathe past the knot that my lungs have been tied into. I don't like the idea of Edward suffering so much by simply existing. It can't be good for anyone to feel that way about themselves, human or not.

Before I can ponder over that for too long, Edward asks his next question,

What was the first story you ever wrote?"

That ones easy.

"When I was three I wrote a story called 'Floppy the penguin'. I mean, it wasn't spelled correctly at the time, but I remember that's what my child brain called it. The story was about a Penguin with the ears of a dog, who went on magical adventures with a fish-cat and a pink sea horse"

I could barely speak then, but sure as fuck I could write a very badly spelled and grammared story.

Edward laughs, and it's a proper laugh too. The laugh that I love to listen to, it makes me feel special, that I can make him laugh properly. His eyes light up in a way they don't at any other time.

"This whole mind reading thing, can all vampires do it?" I ask, which is something that both terrifies and excites me. Much like the existence of vampires within itself.

Edward shakes his head instantly,

"Only John and I can hear thoughts. Other vampires have abilities sometimes, though. For example, Alice can see into the future"

Alice? Oh, right, his sister. Pixie-chic.

"Sounds a bit random to me" I murmur thoughtfully. I figured that there'd be strict rules to this vampire business, but it's becoming more and more clear to that, that isn't the case at all.

Edward eyes me speculatively, and I shrug, gesturing for him to ask another question. Ward takes a while to speak, but eventually he says,

"Why do you not like it when I call you beautiful?"

I freeze up on instinct more than anything else, my heart squeezing inside my chest once more. I sigh, rubbing my temple lightly, before replying,

"I think we should have some kind of system for when we don't know, or really don't want to answer a question"

"How so?" Edward asks, looking both intrigued and suspicious.

I think about it for a moment, not sure exactly what to suggest.

"Perhaps we could have word. A word that we can say that means one of us has just asked a question the other doesn't feel comfortable answering, or feels they cannot answer."

Edward looks surprised, but he doesn't discount what I've said, instead he appears to consider it seriously.

"Maybe instead of simply never answering the question, the word symbolise a pausing effect. By that I mean we would eventually answer the question at some point in the future, but on our own terms, and the other person cannot ask the question again until the other person is ready to answer it and brings the topic up themselves."

I smile at Ward, feeling more comfortable knowing he understands,

"What word would we use?"

Both of us have to think then. My first idea is to choose something funny, but, to be honest, this is rather more serious. I don't want to make a joke out of it, not when Edward is taking my suggestion to heart in such a thought provoking manner.

It's then that the answer becomes obvious, and it seems to become obvious to Edward in exactly the same moment, because we both say,

" _Veto_ "

Edward and I laugh for a while about having read each other so well. But it really is the perfect word for this situation.

"So, it's agreed. We'll use the word 'veto' if we want to put any questions on the back burner"

I nod, quite happily satisfied.

"Yeah, sounds good to me"

"I guess that means you don't want to answer my last question" Edward states, sounding a little bit dissapointed, but hiding it well.

I watch him for a long moment and reply steadily,

"I don't know why you calling me beautiful makes me feel...weird. It just does. So, yeah,  _veto_ "

Edward looks about to inquire further in that direction, but stops himself, simply tipping his head in acknowledgement.

The tension in the car has become quite noticeable, and I try to lighten the mood by smirking at Edward and asking,

"Alright, so, just so we get this out of the way. The usual vampire stuff-sunlight, garlic, coffins, stakes-go!"

Edward snickers quietly, but replies succinctly,

"We don't burn. Garlic has no effect. We don't sleep, so no coffins. Stakes don't do much other than piss us off, we're practically made of stone"

HA! I knew they were stone people! Another win for Ever the Unicorn!

I do my victory dance.

"Stop dancing in my car, you'll hurt Felicity" Edward warns, although his smile is teasing.

I wink at him and lean over to turn the radio on, finding a more upbeat song and preceding to rock out to it with more enthusiasm than is strictly necessary. Edward just laughs at me, but he doesn't turn the radio off. Not even when I start singing along,

_"You're a falling star, you're the getaway car, you're the line in the sand, when I go too far. You're the swimming pool, on an august day, and you're the perfect thing to say"_

During the pause in lyrics, when it's just music, I look over at Edward, and my heart stutters at the expression on his face as he watches me. It's like he's looking at the most amazing and confusing thing he's ever seen in his life. I swallow hard, and slap his arm, trying to push away the more intense emotion welling up inside of me.

"Come on, Ward, sing with me!"

Edward looks about to refuse, but I put on my best pouty 'gimmie gimmie' face, and he relents with a roll of his eyes. He sings the next words and I let him do it alone.

 _"You're a carousal, you're a wishing well, and you light me up, when you ring my bell"_ He actually grins during the next words, _"You're a mystery, you're from outerspace, you're every minute of every day. Whatever comes our way, we'll see it through. And you know that's what our love can do."_

I feel heat burn at my core once again, tumbling all my emotions out onto my face. Edward must see it, because his eyes widen, and for a brief moment, he relents, allowing me to see his own strong and impossible emotions reflect back at me on his face. When he finally has to look away, because otherwise it really would be too much, I feel like I've just lost something special, something so vital and important. And that scares the shit out of me. Again.

I join in with Edward at the chorus of the song, which is still blaring out of the speakers. Although, I'd somehow completely blocked it out when Edward was watching me with that amount of intensity.

_"And in this crazy life. And through these crazy times. It's you, it's you. You make me sing. You're every line, you're every word, you're everything!"_

When the song is over, Edward leans forward to turn off the radio.

"Ok, one last question for you today"

I see in his eyes and from the way he's sitting so damn still, that he's nervous about whatever he's about to ask. I watch him carefully, wondering what could be so important. Yet at the same time, I know exactly what he's about to say. And I don't feel any need to stop him.

"Is this really not a date to you?"

I fight not to answer immediately and shut him down, the way I would with anyone else. But, I'm beginning to see very clearly, that I don't want to react to Edward the way I would with any other guy. He deserves better.

I smile tentatively at Ward, who by now looks even more tense, and I reply,

"No, this isn't a date...not yet. Take me down to the bay, and we'll see what it turns into"

Edward's smile lights up my world. Just. Like. That.

God, please don't let me regret this.


	9. Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

"Come, on, can I ask another one?" I link my arm through Edward's as we walk along the bay together.

It's pretty late now, and the sky is a dark obsidian. I am instantly reminded of Edward's eyes, and a small smile tugs at my lips.

I'm not sure if this is a good idea, I mean, I promised myself that I wouldn't get involved with Edward this way. I know it can only end badly, for both of us probably. But, I can't deny how much I enjoy being around him either.

Edward looks over at me and shrugs slightly,

"Alright, if you must"

"How did you find me tonight, when I was getting..." I trail off suddenly, not wanting to bring up Assholes incorporated again in case Edward gets all Mr. Fury shorts on me again.

Edward stiffens for a moment, and I grimace on the inside for bringing it up. But instead of growling about tearing those guy's heads off, he says,

"I followed your scent"

Well that's part creepy, part interesting. Does he mean like a dog? But I don't say that out loud, as I think it would be one of those things a super sophisticated guy like Edward might take offense to.

By the way, I texted Bella on our way to the bay, just to check that she hand't been murdered by her own shadow or something. Isy the bombastic emo texted back saying that she's at 'dinner' with JlmnoP. That led to me asking Edward if vampires even eat at all, to which Edward replied with a resounding no. He said it basically tastes like ash to vampy people.

I'd really hate that, I like food a lot. I'd have to give up ice cream if I became a vampire. I almost had a panic attack when I first had that thought.

"Ok, Sparky. How about I throw you a ball and then we can have some real fun, huh?"

Edward slides me an unimpressed look and tugs me a little too hard on purpose so that I almost pull a Bella and trip over my own feet. Not cool Sparky.

"I don't play with balls" Edward says smartly.

I have to suppress the need to grin  _so hard_  that it genuinely hurts.

"Explain how the mind reading thing works. Do you have to be close to the people you're listening to? Can you and JP read each others minds? Can you read Bella's mind...if so, I'm very sorry, we tried to raise her right, but something went terribly wrong"

Edward tries to hide his smile, but I see it anyway.

"I thought you said only  _one_  more question"

I smile angelically at him, showing all my teeth and reply,

"That wasn't a question, it was an order. Very different."

Edward rolls his eyes at me, but he doesn't argue, instead saying,

"Yes, I have to be at a certain short distance to be able to pick up most people's thoughts, although the better I know someone the easier it is for me to hear them over a greater distance. It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum - a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear." Edward pauses for a moment, as if searching for a way to explain.

I'm completely focused on him right now. Although at the same time I feel everything around me become almost...heightened, like the feel of the cool breeze brushing over from the sea, or the sound of gentle waves crashing only feet away from us. Something about tonight is special, it's a beginning, that's for sure. But the beginning of what still isn't quite clear.

Edward continues,

"Most of the time I tune it all out - it can be very distracting. And then it's easier to seem normal" he explains, but he blanches slightly at the word 'normal', and so do I. If normal is what he's looking for, then I'm way off the mark. "Sometimes I do answer peoples's thoughts rather than their words"

I watch him for a while, soaking in the way his skin is almost illuminated in the light of the moon. He really is beautiful. But it's what I hear in his voice, and see in his eyes that draws me in every time.

It's then that I get down to heart of the matter,

"Do you know why you can't hear me?"

I feel like however he answers this question is important to me. I don't ever think of myself a freak, that's more Bella's groove, but I know I'm weird. I think weird thoughts, I say weird shit, and I like it. I like who I am. But if there's something actually wrong with me, then I need to know.

Edward looks pensive for a moment, and the vise grip on my heart tightens. I feel heat behind my eyes. But I won't cry, I never do. Not in front of people. Not in public. I won't, not ever. I don't know why it's upsetting me, but it really is.

Ward seems to realise this, somehow, because he stops us suddenly. His hands move to cup my face, hands cool and surprisingly gentle. I remember how safe and protected I felt when Edward showed up earlier. I have that same feeling now.

Edward's eyes clash with mine, and I am unable to look away from him, not when he's revealing so much of himself in that one look. He strokes a thumb over my cheek, and he leans closer to so that our noses brush. Our eyes still locked.

"Now, you listen to me, Ever Swan" Edward says, his voice firm and yet soothing at the same time. There's an underlying layer of protectiveness to his tone, and I bask in the warmth that fills my heart. I've never had someone affect me like that before. "There is nothing, and I repeat, _nothing_  wrong with you."

I press my lips together, not knowing what to say at first. But then my mind seems to overrule me and I whisper,

"I'm weird though"

I know I'm being such a wimpy girl right now, but I need Edward to...I don't know. I just need him to do something, say something, so that this shitty feeling going on inside of me will piss off already.

Something flashes in Edward's eyes again, it makes my heart skip few beats again. That seems to happen a lot around him for whatever reason. Edward's voice becomes lower, more intimate as he says,

"I know. And I like that about you. But weird doesn't mean wrong. Not to me. There is something about you that makes me feel so much more...alive. More so than I've ever felt, even when I was actually alive. I don't know why I can't hear your thoughts, and that frustrates me, I'll admit. But please don't ever think that means you're less than what you are"

I have to laugh a little, or I might break my no crying rule. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I find myself sliding my arms up and around Edward's neck quite without my permission. I see so much truth in his eyes, so much care and strength. He really means it, I can feel it right down to my bones.

"And what am I exactly?" I ask, although it comes out sounding a little more raspy than I intended.

Edward presses his forehead against mine, and a shiver runs from him to me when our lips accidentally brush. Longing crashes through me, and I want more than anything right now to be close to Edward. I know this must be hard for him, what with the blood lust and all, but I really hope we get to stay like this for a while at least.

"You, are so damn beautiful that it makes me want things I haven't thought about in a very long time. You're clever, more so than you give yourself credit for, I think. You're funny, in a way that no one else is, because you are the only person who really makes me laugh. You, Ev's, are amazing, and you don't even have to try. Everything about you intrigues me, and I don't know what star I have to thank for bringing you here to me, but I'll be grateful for the rest of my days because of it"

My breathe catches in my throat, and part of me wants to deny it all, push this man away and tell him he can't possibly think those things. He doesn't  _know me_. But he understands me better than anyone else ever has. And that, is worth more than almost anything to me right now.

"You're not so bad yourself, Ward" I force out the words before the tension between us gets to breaking point.

Edward laughs deeply, his lips brushing mine again. A zing of lighting shoots through my body. A warning sign if ever there was one.

He pulls away from me slowly, and we disentangle ourselves from each other. To avoid meeting his gaze again, I flop down onto the ground, sitting with my knee's drawn up to my chest. Edward sits down next to me, but not too close. I don't think either of us have enough willpower for casual touching. I couldn't decide if I wanted him to kiss me or not. I still can't decide.

"So, finish answering my question then. About your mind snooping." I say, trying to keep the roughness out of my voice as I watch the sea move to it's own rhythm.

"I thought it wasn't a question. What happened to it being an order? Now I feel like you were just lying to me" Edward says with a mock sigh.

I appreciate his choice of humour to calm this situation down.

"I never lie. I simply misrepresent the truth." I say with a smirk.

Edward gasps dramatically and shakes his head at me,

"That's  _my_  line"

"Not anymore. I stole it."

"Thief"

"Sparky"

"Don't be jealous just because I have better senses than you. And Kevin."

"Take that back, you swine"

"Never!"

I laugh hard, harder than I probably should be laughing at that. I slap Edward's arm,

"Seriously, tell me about you and JP"

Edward sits back a bit and makes a thoughtful face at the sky for a few minutes. I take the time to think about how fucked I am if this thing between Edward and I continues. It could really be something. But I'm afraid that I'm not really ready for 'something'. What if I mess it up by being too standoffish or independant. That's driven people away before, I can tell you. What if Edward messes it up and I have to kill him? I'd have to call in my dream team of Buffy and Blade. Otherwise known as the DB team a.k.a the Double B team.

"John and I can't read each others minds, but we can speak to each other telepathically, if we concentrate" Edward explains.

I lean back on my elbows, sinking slowly into the slightly damp sand beneath us. The sky is full of stars, and I take a second to let what Edward just told me sink in before I reply.

"Oh. That sounds...terrible"

Edward gives me a droll look,

"It really, really is"

"Tell me about you and Bella" Edward says after a few moments of careful silence.

I arch an eyebrow at him,

"Bella and I can't read each others minds, which is lucky for her, because if we could, I would have to murder her brain for being so boring"

"Seriously, I want to know"

"Know what?" I'm genuinely puzzled, what could he possibly want to know about me and Isy the fantastical emotron?

"Do you really dislike each other as much as you appear to?" Edward asks, his penetrating gaze making me feel hot all over.

I consider his question, not exactly sure how to explain my relationship with the oh so emo one.

"Bella and I get along just fine, when we ignore each other. It's the times when we actually talk to one another that things go terribly wrong."

"John and I can be like that sometimes" Edward comments, as if trying to tell me he understands what I really mean without me having to actually say it out loud. I suppose he must do, at least somewhat, since him and JP are twins too.

I always thought mine and Bella's relationship was strained, and it is, but we're a long way off from actually hating each other. Or even genuinely disliking each other really. I love Bella, she's my twin sister, and I'd do anything for her, but that's pretty much as far as it goes. I think Bella would say the same about me though. She might complain about me a little more, but that's just because she's a complainy pants by nature anyway.

Edward turns to look at me as I turn to look at him, our eyes meet, and for some reason we both end up laughing. I don't even know what we're laughing about really, the fact that both our twins are pain the butts isn't actually that funny, it's just a sad truth we unfortunately have to live with.

Speaking of the  _emo's in wuv,_  it's just about that time when Bella texts me saying she needs picking up. Yeah, what does she want me to do about it? Call on my mighty owl army to fly us home?

Ohhhh, PELICAN EXPRESS!

Edward raises an eyebrow at me,

"It scares me when you get that look on your face, what are you thinking about?"

I smile at him and reply,

"Pelicans"

Edward looks away from me for a moment, his lips pressed together as if trying desperately to stop himself from either laughing or calling the cops to come arrest the crazy girl who thinks about Pelican's for seemingly no reason.

"Of course you are" he says eventually, nodding to himself, like something he's thought all along has suddenly been confirmed.

Just to ruin the night completely,

"The emo's in wuv need us to come pick them up"

Edward makes a face,

"Fine. But that doesn't mean you get to pretend this isn't a date"

"It's not a date" I argue, blushing slightly despite myself.

"Yes it is" Edward says firmly, smirking at me, "You already admitted you like me, so it's too late"

I sputter for a full minute,

"Excuse me, I never said I like you"

"Not in those exact words, but you know that's what you meant"

"I know nothing of the sort, you lunatic"

"Strong words coming from the girl who wants to date a vampire"

I'm about to slap him when he stands up, my slapping hand landing on his leg instead of his stupid handsome face. He smirks down at me and holds out his hand to help me up.

"You shouldn't attack people you like, Ev's, it's rude"

"Bastard" I mutter, ignoring his hand and climbing to my feet. Edward snickers darkly, seeming endlessly amused by my unwillingness to accept help from him.

I'll say it again. Bastard.

Anyway, long story short, we go pick up Bella bop and JiamsoprettyP, from the restaurant they ended up in. Somehow. I'm not sure I even want to know what's going on between them. It's too...sweet. Sweet couples who act all lovey dovey make me want to vomit rainbows.

Bella looks like she might take flight at any moment. I'm thinking JP told her the truth, or at least didn't say no when she made a guess. Good on JP.

I get into the back and Edward follows suit, allowing JP to drive. Bella hops, and I mean that literally, into the front seat I just vacated.

JP starts driving at about three thousand miles an hour. I mean Edward drove fast, but JP rally takes it to another level altogether. Bella looks back at me and smiles. It's creepy.

"Do I look creepy when I smile?" I ask Edward worriedly.

Ward lean in close to me and whispers,

"You look radiant when you smile, like a newly born star"

I roll my eyes at him,

"You're so full of-"

"Pixie dust?"

"Yeah, sure thing Shakespeare"

But I lie my head on his shoulder anyway. Bastard he may be, but I know he actually believes those lovely things he says about me, so I'll let him off for now.

"Holy crow!" Bella shouts at JP, "Slow down!"

"What's wrong?" JP sounds startled. I huff out a laugh. Edward moves his hand over my knee, I allow it. His fingers make lazy patterns on my jean clad leg. I try very hard not to shiver.

"Are you trying to kill us all?" Bella exclaims dramatically.

"Funnily enough, no" JP retorts irritably.

"We won't crash" Edward says, taking over before his brother says something mean, I'm guessing.

"Why are we in such a rush?" Bella asks, sounding more placated.

"Because we all hate you" I say, "We're late to meet the people we've agreed to sell you to"

"That's not funny" Bella glares at me, and as usual, I grin back at her.

"Charlie's a cop, remember" I say, "Bella and I were raised to respect speed limits"

"Except Ever never does" Bella mutters snippily.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and drive like fluffy cannonball, that's me" I singsong.

"That is not...that's not even a saying, Ever!" Bella sounds exasperated. My work here is done.

"Enough you two" JP snaps, although his voice softens to a teasing tone when he says to Bella, "I'm still waiting on your new theory"

Oh, so the cat isn't out of the bag just yet.

"You'll laugh" Bella says dispassionately.

"No I won't"

"I will" Edward and I say at the same time.

"Shut up!" Bella and JP say at the same time.

Jesus christ, imagine a lifetime of the four of us speaking in unison. I'll have nightmares about it now.

"I'm more afraid you'll be angry at me" Bella says to JP.

"Is it that bad?" JP asks.

"Do you think it'll be another superhero theory?" Edward whispers to me.

I shrug,

"God only knows what that girl thinks about"

"Says the girl who's mind I can't read"

"Don't whinge"

"I never whinge" Edward says indignantly.

I snort out a quiet laugh,

"Too late"

Edward pinches my thigh in retaliation and I gasp, jumping in my seat a little. He smirks at me,

"A bit sensitive, are we?"

"I'll show you sensitive in a minute, Ward" I hiss at him, narrowing my eyes.

Edward links his fingers through mine and I bring his hand up to bite it. Not hard enough to break the skin, just hard enough to make my point. It's like biting marble.

Or a block of ice.

Edward brings my hand up to his mouth, but instead of biting, he gently lets his lips ghost over my wrist. I meet his eyes, and a tiny gasp leaps out of my mouth. A flicker of pure heat slices through me at the spark of longing in Edward's eyes.

Damn it!

I start paying attention again when Bella actually mentions the mighty 'v' word.

"So I'm right?' Bella gasps.

"Yes JaratorP, is she right?" I say mockingly.

"Does it matter?" JP says through gritted teeth.

"Yes, Ev's, does it matter?" Edward says in the same mocking tone I just used.

"EVER!" Bella shouts at the same time JP snaps,

"EDWARD!"

"HA! I exclaim, poking Edward in the chest, "You're the annoying weird twin, aren't you?"

Edward makes a flipping motion with his hand.

"Oh yes he is" JP says.

"Ha, I knew it" I do another mini victory dance.

"Is she always like that?" I hear JP ask.

"Yes" Edward and Bella both say. Although whilst Bella says it with a sigh, Edward sounds absurdly pleased about my weirdness.

Bit of an odd duck, that one. Maybe that's why I like him so much.

"Hold on a minute" Bella says, as if just then realising something, she narrows her eyes at me, "Did you already know the Cullens were vampires?"

I fein shock,

"Hold on a second, the Cullens are...vampires! I have no idea what you're talking about Bella bop"

"Ever!" Bella snaps at me.

I roll my eyes back at her and hold my hands up,

"Ok, ok, fine. Yes, I already knew the Cullens are big bad vampy people"

"For how long" Bella demands, outrage on her face. I try hard not to laugh.

"A while"

"A while!" Bella practically screeches, "Who told you?"

"No one 'told me', thank you. I guessed, and Edward had no choice but to accost me into a classroom and discuss his vampyness with me"

"Uh, I don't think thats exactly how it happened" Edward says.

"Shhh, Ward, not now, I'm explaining the story of our friendship"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bella sounds really pissed off now. Ooops.

"Because I hate your face"

"Ever, seriously"

I sigh inwardly,

"It wasn't my secret to tell, that's why"

"Neither of you have asked the most important question yet" JP says, interrupting our sisterly spat. I mentally thank the bastard.

"Which is?"

"Our diet" Edward supplies almost warily.

"You don't eat people" I say confidently, although I have no idea where that confidence comes from.

"What makes you so sure?" Edward asks, and something in his voice tells me he really needs to know. The same way I needed know down on the beach that he likes my weirdness.

I squeeze the hand that is still clasped in mine, meeting his gaze again as I say,

"You've never once tried to hurt me, even though you've had every chance. You could have hurt those guys who attacked me, but you didn't. That tells me everything I need to know about what kind of person you are."

The amount of relief on Edward's face is palpable. I don't know what JP and Bella saying to each other, because its just become white noise in the wake of Edward's smile.

"Thank you" he says, and the words are grave.

"We hunt animals" Edward continues.

Fair enough. If we have to sacrifice a few chickens or bears or whatever, then I can deal with that.

"Do you want to know why I hunt animals?" Edward asks, his eyes fastened on mine.

I shake my head,

"You're not a monster, Ward. You don't need to explain, I already know'

Ward ghosts his lips over my wrist again, and this time I let the shiver show.

"Yeah, Ev's, you do...but I'm still dangerous"

I laugh a little tightly,

"Apparently, I like dangerous"

Edward gets that pained look on his face again,

"Yes, that is exactly what worries me"

Before I can ask what he means by that, I notice that we've arrived home. And this is about to get a bit awkward if we all linger too long.

I get out the car, gesturing for Edward to come after me. He does.

We stand together at the back of Felicity, string at each other. Yep, this is going to get weird.

"I thought we'd give them a moment" I motion back at JP and Bella.

"Probably a good idea" Edward agrees.

"Will you be in school tomorrow?" I ask, really hoping his answer is yes, but not allowing myself to say so.

Edward gets a teasing smile on his face, and my heart does backflips,

"Would you miss me if I wasn't?"

I hold my head up high and breathe in the fresh night air,

"No"

"Liar"

"I like being round you" I admit, "You make me feel safe, protected" I curse myself for revealing something like that.

Edward loses his smile, and I regret that too. He gives a mirthless laugh,

"The irony in that is almost too much, Ev's. There's nothing about me that's safe"

"Good. I don't need someone who _is_  safe. That's not really my style."

Edward shakes his head, but heat and want  **burn**  in his eyes when I place my hand over his non-beating heart.

"I'll be in tomorrow. It makes me anxious to be away from you. I worried about you the whole time I was away hunting with my brothers. It drove me mad not knowing if you were ok or not"

That admission makes me feel..God, I don't even know, but it's powerful and all consuming in a way that nothing else in my life ever has been. So that's gotta mean something. Right?

So, in the spirit of that, I reach up and kiss Edward on the cheek. His skin is cold and perfect under my lips. Surprise is written all over Edward's face when I pull back.

"Promise me you'll be in tomorrow" I demand.

Edward nods dazedly, but stops me before I can walk away by taking hold of my arm and saying,

"Promise me you won't do anything reckless. Not without me there, at least."

I search his face, but all I can see is truth. I nod, and Edward reluctantly lets go, my skin buzzing from where he touched me, as his other hand slides past my hip.

I force myself to turn around, tearing my gaze away from his, so we don't end up staring at each other again.

Luckily, Bella gets out the car just then and we both head towards the house together.

I don't look back as we enter the house, not trusting myself with Edward still so close.

"Ever, Bella!" Dad calls from the living room.

"Yeah, Dad, it's us" I call back. Bella seems distracted.

"You're both home early" Dad says.

"We are?"

"Its only eight thirty. Did you girls have fun?" Dad asks. I almost smile. Dad was immensely pleased when I told him I was going out with the girls instead of being piked up from home by Edward. I think he thought that meant I wasn't going out with Edward at all. I saw no reason to receive him of that notion. Our Dad will meet Edward and JP at some point, I'm sure, but if we can put that off, I think it'd be best for all of us.

Bella answers for us,

"Yeah, Dad, we had a lot of fun. We're just tired, a lot of walking and stuff"

"Maybe you should go lie down, then, huh" Dad sounds concerned, and that really does make me smile.

"Will do, Dad" I say, pulling Bella upstairs with me.

Bella and I get ready for bed, despite how early it is. But Bella still seems distracted. I know I am. But that's because I don't know what to do about all these strong feelings for Edward. It's not like it happens to me every day. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this.

I pull on one of my favourite tops to sleep in, it's light blue and has the words, _ **"Relax. I'm hilarious."**_ written on it in thick black lettering.

Finally though I push my own worries aside and ask my sister,

"What's up with you and JP then?

Bella looks at me suddenly, as if startled, and words come tumbling out of her mouth, seemingly without her thinking about them,

"I'm in love with him"

Oh fuck a duck, no.


	10. Interrogations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

"Was it all real?" Isy the sleep hater emo asks me.

She woke me up again in the middle of the night to talk about JtwittlebugP. I felt violated by her  _wuv_  for him. Ha, love! She says she loves him. That's so completely ridiculous, that I refuse to dignify the statement with a response. She doesn't know anything about him. Bella knows less about JP than I do about Edward, that's for sure. And yet she's infatuated with the guy,  ** _cough_**  asshole  _ **cough**_.

"Was what real, crazy pants?" I ask, knowing full well what she means, but not wiling to admit it.

Bella doesn't even glare at me, she's too lost in whatever fucked up head space JP has apparently vamped her into. I don't know what to say to her about JP, it's pointless for me to tell her she's a naive idiot, because that was always true regardless, but this is different. I have no idea what she really feels for JP, or what JoramaP feels for Bella for that matter.

It's not really my place, or my problem.

"You know what I mean. What happened with John and Edward last night, was it real?" Bella says dreamily.

Oh Jebus. And yes, the 'b' was intentional.

I shrug as I grab my bag, ready to head off to school. But the thing is, for once I'm actually looking forward to getting there. So. Freakin'. Weird.

"No. It was all a dream" I stop in front of Bella and wiggle my fingers at her like a witch doing voodoo.

Bella rolls her eyes at me,

"I remember how he smelled"

Um, ok.

I give her a look,

"You..remember...how...he... _smelled_...that's...cool"

She's losing it. I'm losing it. We're all losing it I tell ya! I don't even know what we're losing, but it's something I'd rather hold onto thank you very much!

"He's so perfect" Bella murmurs.

Who is what now?

"Who?" Please don't say JP, please don't say JP, please don't say JP.

SAY BATMAN! SAY ALEX PETTYFER! SAY JUSTIN BEIBER EVEN, ANYONE, JUST NOT JP!

You know it's bad when _Justin Beiber_  seems like the better alternative to me.

"John. He's so beautiful." Bella almost walks into a wall whilst looking all dreamy.

"Well..yeah, but he's still a major doucheorama"

"No he's not!" Bella snips at me, "You just don't know him"

"And neither do you!" I wave my hands in front of her stupid face.

Because she's stupid.

"Well, you would say that. Just because we don't have ridiculous text sessions all the time like you and Edward." Bella crosses her arms and makes a pissy face.

I slap my forehead,

"Bella! You're  _meant_  to get to know someone by talking to them! That's how relationships  _work_! Falling in love with someone you barely know...that's...you can't...why would  _anyone_..." I wave my hand around dramatically, unable to come up with the right words to properly describe how moronic this whole conversation is.

Isy the emo makes a frustrated sound and stalks off,

"You just don't understand" she gripes.

Oh, I want to smack her so hard!

"No, I don't understand!" I shout after her, "Because I'm not a 12 year old idiot, like SOME people"

Bella ignores me, grabbing her bag angrily and leaving the house in an obvious huff. I pull on my favourite leather jacket and head out after her, if only so she won't drive to school without me.

I'm stunned for a moment however, when I see that both Edward and JP are waiting outside for us, apparently offering a lift. I take one look at Bella and shake my head at Edward. He frowns at me, mouthing 'whats wrong?'. I shrug back at him and gesture at Gordan, saying,

"How about I let you drive me to school in Gordan?"

Edward stares at me hard, his expression knowing and intense. I smile tightly at him, finding it hard to stay calm right now. Bella is saying something to JP, but I don't care what it is they're talking about. I just really do not want to be around them, especially Bella.

But I do want to be around Edward, I even want to talk to him about what's bothering me. The very concept of revealing my upset to Edward, without him even having to ask, makes me panic a little. Since when did I start trusting Edward Cullen enough to be voluntarily vulnerable with him?

It's very worrying to me. But also kinda nice too.

Edward appears to come to a decision, because he says,

"Well, I'll try, but I don't know if I'll able to handle the majesty that is Gordan the truck"

I snicker under my breathe, and with only a nod between Edward and JrettoP, Ward and I clamber into Gordan. I don't look at Isy the emo, and she's still ignoring me, so there's no need for me to ask if she's alright riding alone with JP, oh, I'm sorry, I meant the new  _wuv_  of her life.

Cue melodramatic eyeroll.

Edward doesn't say anything until we're already a good few minutes away from my house, and our siblings. When he does speak, his voice is careful and devoid of all judgement.

"So, come on then, tell me what you fought about?"

I lean back in my seat, sighing,

"Is the emo is, apparently, 'in wuv' with someone"

Edward can't seem to hide a small smirk and he asks,

"Is this person she's 'in wuv' with my brother?"

I tilt my head from side to side, considering,

"I can neither confirm nor deny"

Edward laughs, causing me to smile. I really do enjoy making that man laugh.

"Ah, at least give me a hint" Edward teases.

I pretend to think about it and then say,

"All I can say is that the person in question is broody, tall, and looks like someone in this truck"

"Kevin" Edward guesses, "I knew that kiss meant something"

I huff out a laugh,

"How does Kevin look like someone in this car?"

Edward jerks his thumb at the backseat of Gordan, I look behind us with a frown, but then I make an 'ohhh' sound. Another bat is in the backseat, it's a little smaller and darker than Kevin. It's more of a rounders bat than a baseball bat.

"That guy got a name too?" Edward asks, sounding amused.

I nod,

"Lilo, ** _her_**  name is Lilo"

Edward tries to hide another smirk, but I see it anyway,

"It's a very pretty name"

He is mental. I've never met anyone like him before, and that's probably a good thing. For both of us.

"So has JP mentioned Bella?"

Edward makes face in response,

"On purpose or inside his head?"

"I thought you couldn't read his mind"

"I can't, but sometimes, because we communicate mostly via telepathy, things slip through without us meaning them to"

I take a moment to absorb that information.

"Ok, so what's JP let slip about my twin?"

Edward pauses at that, and seems to be debating whether to reveal what his brother feels for my sister, if anything at all, or to keep quiet. Finally he says,

"He feels protective of her. He thinks about Bella...a lot"

"Really?" I ask, not exactly surprised, considering how much he stares at Isy the emo on a daily basis.

"Yeah. Why, do you think that's strange?" Edward asks me, and something in his voice tells me he isn't just asking for JP's sake.

I look over at Edward, taking time to study him properly. Ward's jaw is hard and perfect, like a marble statue. He seem tense.

"How much is a lot?" I ask, still watching him.

Edward parks the car in the school lot and turns to me,

"Almost constantly" he says.

I know we're no longer talking about Bella or JP. This is about us.

"No, I don't think that's strange."

Edward smiles slightly,

"Good. Because there's nothing he can do to stop it."

"I'm not asking him to stop" I reach over and place my hand on Ward's. His skin is cool and dry. Edward looks down at our hands, and turns his around so he can link our fingers.

We sit like that for a while, neither of us saying anything. There's no need to talk right now, just revelling in Edward's presence is enough to calm me down. I don't know how someone can make me both excited and giddy in one moment, and then completely calm in the next. It shouldn't be possible. But then, neither should vampires, and I'm sitting right next to one.

"Where's the rest of your family?" I ask suddenly.

Edward looks up at me in surprise,

"They took Rosalie's car" he points over at a red convertible. Woah.

"Nice wheels. A bit..."

"Ostentatious" Edward supplies.

"Yeah, maybe a little" I say, "How come she rides with you? I mean Felicity is great and all, but she's no Chelsea"

Edward shakes his head,

"Ah, ah, ah, no naming other people's cars. Besides, she's more of a Roxy, if anything.

I consider that for a moment, looking over at the car,

"Alright, fine, Roxy fits. But that still doesn't tell me why you choose Volvo over convertable"

"We try to blend in" Edward explains with a shrug.

I scoff, unable to help myself,

"Well, mission not at all accomplished then"

Edward makes a mock disgruntled face,

"I'll have you know that we are all models of discretion. Like ninja's."

 _Like ninja's_. God that's sexy.

"Yeah, sure, you keep telling yourself that Hoss"

"We are shadows in the night" Edward sing songs at me.

I arch an eyebrow at him,

"More like great big icebergs in the night"

We get out of the car just in time to see Bella and JP pull up. I sigh, still not wanting to face a pissy Bella. Edward seems to sense this, and he steers me away from the Volvo, instead walking with me towards a waiting Jessica and Beany. Oh fuck.

Not the Beany part, I can handle him, it's Jessica who might just eat me alive.

"Hi Chatty, Beany" I say with a smile plastered onto my face.

Beany grins in my direction, his eyes darting between Edward and me. I narrow my eyes at him and mentally tell him to shut up.

"Good morning, Jessica, Eric"

"Hey, Sid" Beany raises an eyebrow at me, and he nods at Edward.

"Uh, hi..." Chatty trails off, for once not seeming so chatty, "I guess I'll see you in class"

I salute her using two fingers,

"Righty ho"

Chatty takes one more long look at us, and then shuffles off in what appears to be a daze. I blame Edward and his powers of vampy seduction.

"What are you going to tell her?" Beany asks me, "She's practically vibrating with curiosity. Or as it's known to some people, nosiness"

Edward looks down at me meaningfully, and I shrug,

"I figured I'd just sacrifice Bella to her"

"Fair enough" Beany says, nodding in agreement. He still looks strangely pleased about something."Well I'll see you later, Sid"

Beany and I fist bump, and he ambles off, an amused smile on his face.

"Ok, what's he so persnickety about?" I ask Edward.

Edward laughs,

"He thinks we're dating in secret"

I groan both outwardly and inwardly,

"What the hell am I going to tell him?"

Edward meets my eyes and smiles again,

"You could tell him, and Jessica, the truth and say that we  _are_  dating"

I sputter up at Edward,

"No we are not!"

"Yes we are, that was already decided last night" Edward reasons, moving his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close, he leans down to whisper in my ear, "You're pretty much my girlfriend now"

A flicker of heat runs through my body, my skin tingles with it,

"Oh yeah, says who?"

"Hopefully, you" Edward replies.

I lean into his body, hitting his chest with my fist,

"You are...so...annoying"

"That's not a very nice thing to say to your boyfriend"

"My 'boyfriend' will have to suck it up and deal with it if he wants to be my 'boyfriend'"

"Challenge accepted!" Edward announces.

I bury my face in his chest,

"I am so going to regret this"

"Me too" Edward says regretfully.

"Oh well that fills me with confidence, thank you" I roll my eyes.

"I'm still breaking all the rules though" Edward cups my face in his hands, tilting my head up so our eyes lock again. He smiles a beautiful half smile, his thumb strokes over my jaw, and then my cheek.

I shiver at the gentle, yet firm, touches,

"I've never liked rules anyway"

"So I've noticed" Edward teases, a glint in his eyes.

My heart beat speeds up like crazy and I take in a deep breathe. Edward Cullen is my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a vampire.

That's never going to sound normal.

Good.

...

"Morning, Ever" Goldy says to me as I settle down next to him in class. He seems resigned, but also far more chipper than I remember from a few days ago, "How was Port Angeles?"

That reminds me, I still have to do some snooping about Goldy and Beany.

"It was...nice" I say, trying to seem like I remember anything about last night other than Edward, "Chatty got a cute dress" I think.

"Oh, right, thats...good" Goldy says, although he cringes slightly. Hmmm, again, very interesting.

"Goldy...have you spoken to Beany? Did you two sort out whatever argument you were having?" I watch Goldy closely.

Goldy looks startled, and more than a little wary,

"What? Um...we...we weren't arguing"

I continue to look at him, raising a skeptical eyebrow,

"Really?

Goldy appears closer to panic now,

"Not exactly. We just...it's complicated"

Goldy looks down at his hands on the desk, worrying his lip harshly. I open my mouth to ask more, but then feel guilty for forcing him into something he clearly isn't ready to handle, or even fully acknowledge.

"No worries, Goldy, as long as everything's...alright in your world"

Goldy smiles gratefully at me,

"Yeah. I think it is, for now"

Mr. Bubble starts talking (that's not really his name, but he looks like a bubble to me), and I get lost in the boring monotainy of school for the next few hours. It's only when I get to lit and throw myself down next to Beany that I'm brought back to the land of the living.

"Go on then, Sid, tell me everything, what's going on with you and pretty boy number one?" Beany says, he waggles his eyebrows at me.

I shrug,

"What do you want to know, oh nosy one?"

"Are you guys dating or not?" Beany leans in a little closer to me, eyes alight with interest.

A zing of pleasure shoots through my heart.

"No. Yes. Maybe. Sort of. Kinda."

Beany nods,

"Yep, those are all the options"

I slap his arm,

"Don't get snarky with me, Beany, or I'll tell coach Myster who broke the rope last week"

Beany puts on a fake appalled face, he places a hand over his heart,

"I would never do such a terrible,  _outrageous_ , thing"

"I saw you do it"

"It was an act of rebellion! The children shall thank me!"

"Oh yeah, there will definitely be songs written and parade's thrown, for sure"

"Exactly"

I can't help but laugh, he's such a freakin' weirdo. And one of my new BFF's for life for that very reason.

"You still haven't answered me, how was Port Angeles? Did you kiss? Was it a date? Come on, give me details woman!" Beat demands, practically bouncing in his seat.

I shake my head,

"You know, you're such a teenage girl sometimes. Seriously, I can see you with pigtails and a purse"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" Bean says with a grin.

"Keep your milkshake away from me...but fine. I'll tell you what happened. We hung out, no we didn't kiss, but yeah I guess I have to admit that it was a date. There, happy"

" _Ecstatic_ " Beany slaps the table, he gets a sly grin on his face, "So, when's the double wedding"

Oh the horror!

"Don't even joke about that, you moob"

Beany looks off into the distance,

"I can see it now, you and Bella, married to the Cullen twins. How wonderful?"

I put my fingers in my ears,

"Na, na, na, not listening!"

Beany makes a thoughtful face,

"Do you think I can be your best man?'

"Still not listening!"

"What kind of dress will you wear? Will you match with Bella, because that's a bold move"

I glare at him,

"I hate you"

Beany smiles at me,

"Will you name your first child after me?"

"I hope you get eaten by a flock of panda's"

"Where would you find panda's?"

I scoff dimissively,

"What do I look like to you, a panda specialist?"

Beany smirks at me again,

"No, you look like the future Mrs. Ever Cullen"

I poke my finger hard into his chest,

"You will burn for this!"

"I think he really likes you, you know" Beany says, suddenly sounding serious.

I frown at him, shrugging uncomfortably,

"Yeah, I guess so"

Beany peers at me curiously,

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Of course it is" I sigh heavily, "It's just a little scary to like someone this much"

Benny's eyes turn sad,

"Yeah, tell me about it"

I put my hand on his arm and squeeze, he smiles tightly at me.

"He is gorgeous though. Apparently." Beany says, a bit of the teasing tone coming back into his voice now.

I allow myself to smile a little back at him,

"There's so much more to him, though, Beany. What you see on the surface doesn't come close to what he's really like"

"How do you mean?" Beany asks.

I think about that for a moment, trying to come up with the right words. Edward is the vampire who doesn't hunt humans, he's the stoic loner with a razor wit, he's the beautiful being who wants more than anything to  _know_  me, he's the arrogant rich guy who is both kind and somehow modest, he's the supposed monster who makes me feel protected and loves classical music. Edward Cullen is so many things, and every part of himself that he reveals to me only makes me want to know more.

"Edward is...special, he see's the world in a different way to everyone else. He understands me. He makes me feel...like anything is possible, like I've finally met someone I can be myself around"

Beany nods along with my words,

"That definitely sounds like something worth holding onto"

"I'll give it my best shot" And I really mean that.

...

Edward is waiting for me outside of class, and he looks so damn sexy, leaning against the wall like that. The more I look at him, the more I wonder how anyone can think he's human, when it seems so obvious to me that he's not.

Beany makes a quick getaway, sending one last knowing look in my direction. I almost flip him off, the snarky little shit.

I walk up to Ward, who smirks down at me,

"Have an interesting talk with Eric, did you?"

I gasp and hit his chest lightly,

"You bastard. You were listening, weren't you"

Edward puts on an innocent expression,

"I have no idea what you mean"

I roll my eyes at him, although something inside my body warms at being so close to him again.

"Yeah, whatever, Pinocchio, tell it to the judge"

Edward raises an eyebrow,

"Who's the judge?"

I smirk mildly at him,

"Bella and JP, they form one being, now that they're in  _wuv_ "

Edward screws up his nose, and somehow manages to look cute rather than like a disgruntled piglet,

"Aw, I don't want to talk to  _them_ "

"No one does, Edward, that's why they need each other. For social interaction purposes."

Edward snickers along with me as we make our way to the cafeteria. Edward grabs 'us' some food and we sit down at an empty table. I refuse to look around for Bella and JsnooPy, I've had enough of their tomfoolery for one life time.

"So, Eric was the one who cut the rope in gym, huh?" Edward says, a teasing smile lighting up his face.

I narrow my violet eyes at him,

"Ha, I knew you were listening!"

Edward looks at me from under his lashes,

"I'm not sure if I like you hanging about with such a delinquent, Ev's"

I force myself not to laugh,

"Yes, well, Beany is a very dangerous man"

Edward nods in mock agreement,

"Oh, yes, on that we can all agree, obviously"

"What else did you hear, then?" I ask, picking up a chocolate chip cookie and taking a bite of it.

Edward smiles at me, and it's a real one this time,

"We're having a double wedding with my brother and your sister, are we?"

I snort out a laugh,

"Oh, yeah, you would latch onto that one"

Edward's expression turns suddenly very serious, worryingly so even, and he looks right into my eyes,

"Do you really feel like you can be yourself around me?"

I see the very intense need in Edward's eyes, this means a lot him, and it means something to me to. I've never been one to trust easily, if at all actually. I don't know why, it's not like I had a horrid life, or a life full of people who treated me badly. But our mother, mine and Bella's I mean, was never one to plan ahead, or have any sort of concrete of idea of what she wanted. I couldn't trust her to always be there for me and Bella. She often let us down, and me even more so than Bella.

Our mother was like a butterfly, she flitted about looking pretty and people liked her, they treated her like the piece of china she's always been. I was the one who had to keep on top of everything, as the eldest it was my responsibility. I kept up with the bills, and made sure Bella and my mom were always fed. It wasn't awful or anything, but it made me a little more...wary, of giving up control, especially of my emotions.

This time it's Edward who reaches out to me, lacing our fingers together and brining my wrist up to his mouth, just like last night. I wonder how much self control he must have to resist biting me, and a shiver races up my spine at the thought. His eyes are intent on mine, pulling me in to a world I don't yet understand, where nothing is quite as it seems.

"Yes, I really do feel that I can be myself with you. I hope you feel, at least in part, the same way."

Something flickers in Edward's eyes, and he presses his lips to my wrist, closing his eyes and sighing deeply, like he's letting out all his pain and worries in that one sound.

"I don't think you want to see all of me"

"You're wrong" I say firmly, "I want to see every part of you. Good and bad, even the darkest parts.

Something seems to shift inside Edward, his eyes now open again, and there's an almost predatory gleam in them now,

"You have no idea what it does to me to her you say things like that, Ev's. There are parts of me that want to hurt you, truly hurt you, and I can't stand the thought of you seeing that side of me. You would be repulsed by them."

"But those parts aren't really you, Ward" I argue, shifting closer to him so that our faces aren't too far apart, I squeeze his hand, almost shaking him with my need to make him understand what I'm trying to say, "I  _see you_ , Ward. I see who you are, and what you are, and nothing about either is in any way repulsive to me"

Edward lets out what sounds like a shuddering breathe, although I don't know how that's possible. He presses his forehand to mine, and my heart hurts with how fast it's beating inside my chest. Some outward part of me knows we're in the middle of the school cafeteria, but the rest of me doesn't give a damn. Not right now, not with how Edward makes me feel deep down inside, right to my very core.

"I feel like I've been waiting all my life, both human and vampire, for you" Edward whispers, "And I know this isn't the right place to say it, and that we don't know each other well enough, even now, but it's still true"

I want to kiss him so badly right now that it's a physical ache, but he's right, in the middle of school really isn't the best idea.

I pull away slowly,, trying to keep my voice casual as I attempt to turn our conversation back to something resembling normality, or at least what's normal for us anyway.

"Can I ask you something?" I keep my tone light.

Edward tilts his head to the side and nods slowly, his eyes scanning my face with an intensity that sets my whole body on fire from the inside out. Damn him! I'm trying to be aloof here!

"Go ahead" he says, his voice taking on that raspy quality again.

"Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend... to hunt, right? Did you catch anything? LIKE A BUNNY?! Or a deer?" I slap a hand over my mouth, oh my god, the disney flashbacks.

Edward, almost as if he  _can_  read my mind, says,

"Don't worry, Bambi was safe from us. We tend to go after more predatory animals"

"For example..." I trail off, waiting for him to fill in the blank.

Edward levels a mischievous and devistatingly handsome smile at me,

"Emmett likes bears, the grizzlier the better"

I open my eyes wide,

"Your brother killed Winnie the Pooh! Oh, you bunch of fluffy haters"

Edward scoffs,

"Winnie had it coming, he was a honey thief. The FBI were all over it."

"Well, Special Agent Stony, what animals do you like?" I ask, more than a little curious. I really am oddly fascinated by the vampire side of Edward, I want to know more.

Edward seems a quite disturbed by my obvious interest, but he only says,

"Apparently I have quite a thing for lions"

I study him for a moment, and then announce,

"Yeah, I can see that"

"You're imagining me killing samba, aren't you" Edward says knowingly.

"I wasn't, but I certainly am now. You could at least go after Scar, get the bad guys."

A dark look passes over Edward's face, and for a moment I worry that I've seriously pissed him off. But it goes away almost as fast as it came, and then Edward is smiling at me again. I want to ask what upset him, but this really isn't the place for that kind of conversation either, not if we're going to have it properly.

"We're gonna be late for class" he says. I look around me, surprised to see that the cafeteria is almost empty. Huh, I didn't realise how much time had passed. But then, it always seems to be that way with Edward.

I let Edward pull me up and I grab my bag. Edward meets my eyes again as he offers me his hand. I almost don't take it, having never been one for hand holding with guys. But then I remind myself that this guy is different, in so many ways.

I take his offered hand, and the smile that Edward gives me is worth pretty much anything that might come after this.


	11. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

I find it hard to ignore everyone blatantly staring at Edward and I as we make our way to our usual lab table. I smile inwardly when Edward angles himself so he's sitting close enough to brush our arms, instead of sitting as far away as possible like he would have a month ago.

Mr. Blobby (Banner) comes shuffling in then with a fifty thousand year old TV and VCR, oh joy unbounded. Clearly this is going to be a film day, and doesn't that just say everything about modern education. We should probably all just get hooked up to Google at age twelve and have everything downloaded into our tiny brains.

Jesus, quick, someone knock me off my soapbox before I have to slap myself.

Mr. Blobby turns off the the lights and shoves the video into the VCR, like a true professional educator. Being this close to Edward in the darkness makes me feel strangely different. The atmosphere between us changes ever so slightly, and I have to make a conscious effort not to touch him.

Something sparks between us, and it grips onto my nerve endings with a vengeance.

Edward looks over at me, a slight trace of amusement mixed with heat in his eyes. I make a face at him, not willing to let on how much his proximity affects me. Especially not in the middle of class. Oh, for fucks sake, why is the school day so  _long_? I feel like I've been here for **ever.**

We both sit there like that for a while, an intimate whisper of emotion floating between us, waiting for this film to actually start. When it does, I'm momentarily distracted by my need to mock. Since Mr. Blobby is watching for any signs of us talking, I slip out my phone and balance it on my lap.

I nudge Edward and get him to take notice. He frowns at first, but catches on quickly, nodding and taking out his own phone discreetly.

**"Ward, prepare yourself. We are about to watch a film. A film...about VOLCANOES!"**

**"I am literally so excited right now, I've been waiting for this to come out for AGES!"**

**"Did you see the prequel that came out last year?"**

**"Of course. Brad Pitt was great in the erosion scene"**

**"I know, right. He totally should have won an Oscar for that performance"**

**"Yeah, I mean the way he held those rocks...wow. Just wow."**

**"It was truly inspirational."**

**"I think I teared up a bit at that last scene"**

**"You mean the one with the baby plant that got trampled by the Volcano rocks?"**

**"Definitely, I've never seen anything so heartbreaking"**

**"Agreed"**

Edward and I stifle laughter, which earns us a glare from Mr. Blobby. I quickly school my features to something akin to outright boredom, along with everyone else in class.

I meet Edward's gaze for a moment, and he leans in a little closer. I almost startle when I feel his hand graze mine under the table. There's a question in his eyes, and I am all too happy to answer it. My fingers intertwine with his perfectly, just like every other time before, and we hold hands, like a couple of dopes, under the table.

I am turning into a major gooey idiot. If I met myself right now, there'd be some hard core eye poking going on.

But I refuse to become Bella. I REFUSE!

Oh my God, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth at even the idea of that.

My face must be showing my disgust, because Edward whispers in my ear,

"What's wrong?" the concern in his voice is palpable.

"I just imagined that I was Bella"

"That is a truly frightening thought"

"And then I did a mini throw up in my mouth"

"Sexy"

"Shut up"

Edward squeezes my hand when I try to pull away and I remember, oh yeah, he's basically a stony loner version of superman. For fucks sake, now I'm even comparing the Cullens to superheroes just like Bella. I may need to find some sort of hypnotist who can get rid of those thoughts before I shudder myself to death.

I fist pump the air when class is over and Mr. Blobby turns the lights back on,

"Hell yes!" I say, a little too loudly perhaps.

Mr. Blobby glares his tiny blobby eyes at me and snaps,

"Everlyna Swan, unless you have something prudent to say about the film we just watched, I suggest you keep your mouth shut and your arms by your sides"

He. Looks. Furious.

Like a pissed off snail.

"I will not have arms flim flomming around inside my classroom!" Mr. Bloddy adds, looking extra blobby as he says it.

Also, flim flomming?

Did he just make up words?

That's not fair!

Teachers aren't allowed to make up words!

I am irate with indignation. Why is that whenever  ** _I_  **make up words, it's suddenly 'silly behaviour'? I may have to inform the President about this lapse. And by that I mean Santa's getting a letter from my secretary!

And by that I mean BEANY IS WRITING ME A LETTER!

I don't get to voice my opinions however, because Edward gets in there first.

Uh oh, now that I think of it, he looks pretty pissed off too, but not at me. And he doesn't look a thing like a snail either. Which is good, because as open minded and non-judgmental as I try to be, even I would not date a snail. No offense to all the snails out there.

I'm just not that into you.

And yes, that was a romcom joke. Deal with it.

Edward's face is calm, but in that scary way that a predator might watch...well, it's prey. I am becoming concerned for Mr. Blobby's well being.

Mr. Blobby seems to realise something is afoot as well, because he suddenly pales, his eyes widen in obvious fear. I sit back a little and settle in to watch whatever is about to unfold.

There is thunder in Edward's eyes as he says, again with a voice so calm, yet it gives me chills to hear it,

"Do you think that is an appropriate way to speak to one of your students, Mr. Banner? Because I, do  _ **not**_."

Ohhhhh, the blobbmister is in  _trouble_  with Edwardo. Flim flom may fly.

Seriously, try saying that ten times without hurting your brain.

Everyone else has paused in leaving to watch this exchange, and I very much wish they weren't here, so then at least I wouldn't feel like an exhibit at a museum. The museum of what, I have no idea.

Mr. Blobby's eyes skate around the room, his panic obvious. He seems to regain some composure however when he says, without looking at Edward,

"Now, Mr. Cullen, there's no need to cause a scene"

Edward's eyes flash, and I grit my teeth. I may have to throw myself in front of Mr. Blobby to save his stupid life, if he keeps pissing Edward off like this.

"There is every need when you deign to speak to Miss Swan in such a disrespectful way"

Woah, Edward just brought out the Draco Malfoy voice. Nice.

Mr. Blobby begins to stutter,

"I...well...she...that is..."

Edward smiles grimly, and I raise an eyebrow at a newish side to my...person. I've seen Edward be many things, arrogant, kind, thoughtful, brave, angry, upset. But this is the first time I've seen him use his vampiric nature to scare someone. On purpose, that is, as I'm pretty sure he scares most people by accident

Probably.

For a horrible moment I think Edward might force Mr. Blobby to apologise to me in front of everyone, but thankfully all he does is turn to me and say,

"Shall we?" He gestures towards the door.

I grab my bag sharpish, and practically drag Edward out of the room. The fact that he allows me to manhandle him speaks volumes at his current state of mind. We walk another few paces away from the classroom, and then I turn on him, only to be faced with a slight smile that melts my stupid fucked up heart. I waggle my finger at him,

"Don't think just because you can stand there and look cute, that I won't beat your ass"

"That wouldn't be very nice" Edward argues, still with that small smile on his handsome (annoying) face.

I cross my arms over my chest and lean to one side,

"I'm not a very nice person"

"Glad we could get that cleared up" Edward replies with a mock frown.

I sigh dramatically and poke Edward's chest,

"Seriously though, what the hell was that?"

Edward's eyes darken momentarily, and that same predator edge glints out like a stab to the heart,

"It makes me angry when people treat you badly. I don't like it."

Well, what do you say to that? Oh yeah,

"I don't need you to defend my honour you know, Ward. This isn't like back in your day when girls got locked away in castles and they needed knights and Ogres and shit to come rescue them with Eddie Murphy as their sidekick"

Edward loses a bit of that edge and huffs out a laugh,

"My day?"

"Yeah, like a billion years ago"

"My day was not Shrek, Ev's. I'm not  _that_  old."

I open my mouth to say something, but Edward adds vehemently,

"And I'm also not from a Disney movie!"

"Sounding a bit defensive there, Ward" I say with a smirk.

Edward narrows his eyes at me,

"Yeah well...at least my arms don't flim flom around"

I raise my arms in the air and wave them about,

"Flim flomming!"

I then I dance.

"I do my flim over here" I throw my myself to the right, waving my arms around still "I do my flom over there" I jump back left "I do my flim, I do my flom. I do FLIM FLAM FLOMMY"

Cue break dance sequence.

"This is even sexier than the throw up thing" Edward says dryly.

I can't even hear him over how awesome my dance moves are.

I do my flim, my flom, my flimmy flam flom flom!

Come on, you know there's a little part of you that wants to dance along with me right now.

Our music video, would rock.

We could dedicate it to Mr. Blobby in the name of Valcanoes everywhere!

...

I skip, yes SKIP, into gym.

Bella is standing awkwardly in the corner. Or I should say that she is just standing normally, because everything Bella does is awkward.

I wave at her, grinning. I have decided, upon reflection, to pretend that I am really, really happy about her being an idiot and falling in love with a massive douche. I will be supportive. Sarcastically. Although, knowing Bella, I doubt she'll be able to tell.

Someone randomly hands me a racket, and I do what everyone does when they are given a racket. I play racket guitar. Beany is of course the first to join me, and we rock out together for a good two minutes. Silently. But devotedly.

Coach Clapp shout at us to stop behaving like twits.

I meet Beany's gaze and say,

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That we should totally start an all guitar band? Hells to the yes!" Beany exclaims, taking a few more strums on his 'guitar'.

We high five. Then we fist bump. Twice. Because that's how rock stars do it.

"What would we call our band?" I ask, thoughtfully.

Beany scratches his chin and hums to himself,

"The Racket Brigade!"

I clap excitedly,

"Oh, oh, The Racket and the Racketts"

"Racket for love"

"Be my Racket"

"Racket 'N Roses"

"Rock your Racket"

"Racket my world"

"The Rolling Rackets"

"Radioracket"

"Red Hot Rackets"

"The Rockin' Rackets"

"Rackets for Liberty"

"Hold up!" I exclaim, having had the best idea for a fake band name ever, "Reckless Rackets!"

"R 'N R, for short!" Beany agrees, we high five our rackets.

Gold comes ambling over then, appearing a little sheepish, which is a new look for him. Beany, in response, seems to tense ever so slightly. My eyes flicker between them carefully.

Goldy stops in front of us, and although he's speaking to me, his eyes never seem to leave Beany's face.

"Hey, Ever"

I wave hello, Pocahontas stylie,

"Sup, Goldy"

And then comes the strange silence that seems to gone on for an eternity.

Eventually, after a few very long minutes of Goldy and Beany studiously not-quite-staring-at-each-other-but-actually-staring-a-lot, Beany coughs uncomfortably and says in a strained voice,

"Um...I'm...I have to...go..play...racket...stuff"

Beany jogs away to the other side of the gym, leaving me with a slightly hurt looking Goldy. God damn it! Must I do everything!

Goldy shuffles uncomfortably, and I roll my eyes at him.

"Come on, then, Goldy, lets go play some racket stuff, or whatever"

Goldy is only too happy to transform his unhappiness into use of speed and hitting things. A pure boy, that one.

Once gym class is over, and we're heading back to the changing rooms, I watch as, just like all the way through class, Goldy's eyes are naturally drawn to Beany. Beany on the other hand seems to be trying his best not to look at Goldy at all, but I know my friend really wants to.

My theory for what's up with Goldy and Beany is becoming more and more likely by the second.

Goldy finally turns to me and says,

"So..."

Did I mention that Goldy is a renowned conversationalist? No? Oh, that must be because he is NOT.

"So...what? Come on, spit it out Beany"

"You and Edward Cullen, huh?" Goldy says shiftily.

I raise an eyebrow meaningfully and reply,

"You and Beany, huh?"

Goldy just about swallows his own tongue.

Mission status: Complete.

...

I meet up with Bella outside the changing rooms. She ignores me at first, but then seems to realise I'm related to her and therefore she will have to deal with my existence in her life for however long we both live.

"Come on, Isy, don't be sad. Just talk to me."

Bella huffs quietly,

"Are you going to call me a moron for loving John again?"

"No, of course not" But I shall think it. Oh yes, I shall think it  _so hard_.

"Really?" Bella peers at me suspiciously.

"I am in complete support of you falling in love with a man you've known for precisely two days altogether given the amount of time you've actually spent together" I reply sweetly.

Bella shakes her head dramatically,

"I knew you wouldn't understand" she snaps.

Whoops.

Isy the emo storms off. I hear the Darth Vader music in the background when JfrankfurterP comes stalking up to meet her. He sends a death glare my way, and I wave at him enthusiastically.

Now, there's no need to be rude.

I feel more than hear Edward come up behind me. A sliver of awareness caresses my spine, and heat slices through my heart at an alarming level of strength. I do however hear him sigh heavily and say,

"You just can't help yourself"

I flip my hands in annoyance,

"Well, she's being a big dummy"

Edward leans against the wall next to me and shrugs,

"Hey, you don't need to tell me, John's the other half of their love muffin, remember"

"Muffins don't come in halves Ward!" I exclaim in utter outrage.

Edward meets my eyes and says, deadpan,

"Sometimes they do"

If he wasn't made of stone, I'd so slap him right now.

We make our way to Gordan, and I spare a glance over at the emo's in wuv. They're already driving away in Felicity. I throw Edward the keys to Gordan, wanting my hands free to text Beany about a very important issue.

Edward and I get into the truck and as we're pulling out, I send the first text to Beany. Edward raises an eyebrow at me, but wisely doesn't ask. It did occur to me that I could just ASK Edward what's going on with Beany and Goldy, but I feel like that wouldn't be fair to my friendship with Beany. He has a right to his secrets, just like Edward has a right to his, and I have a right to mine.

**"So, you gonna tell me about the crazy awkwardness between you and Goldy, or what?"**

Beany immediately pings back,

**"Was it that obvious?"**

I'm glad that he doesn't just lie to me, because he easily could have, and I wouldn't have pushed the subject. I think he knows that too. So, being honest with me must mean he's ready to talk. At least I hope so.

**"Yeah, actually, it kind of was. Weird silences usually are, Beany"**

**"I know, I know. I just** **don't know how to act around him when we're with other people"**

**"As appose to when you're alone with him, you mean?"**

**"I guess, yeah."**

**"Can you tell me what it's like when you're alone?"**

There's a long pause, and then,

**"It's different. Better. Less complicated."**

**"In what way?"**

**"We can be ourselves"**

**"Sounds like something worth holding onto then"**

**"Hey, did you just quote me?"**

**"Should I copyright it?"**

**"Are you pissed that I didn't tell you about me and Mike?"**

**"Nah, it's your stuff, not mine. Technically you still haven't told me anything anyway :)."**

**"Yeah, I know. But you get what I'm saying with all this, right?"**

**"Of course. You and Goldy both like the same type of chocolate, and you're worried other people might judge you for liking that particular brand of chocolate. I getcha."**

**"See, now, I can't even tell if you're being serious right now"**

**"I'm ALWAYS serious"**

**"God help us all if that's true even half of the time."**

**"Edward thinks muffins come in halves."**

**"You're boyfriend's weird. Muffins come as wholes.** **Always."**

**"Your boyfriend is dating a girl."**

**"Touche"**

I turn to Edward for a moment and say,

"Beany says you're weird"

"For what reason?" Edward asks curiously.

"He says muffins don't come in halves, not ever"

Edward rolls his eyes,

"Big talk coming from a guy who vandalises school equipment and has secret meetings with Newton"

I slap Edward's arm,

"Ha, I knew that you knew!"

**"So, do I get the whole story between you and Goldy"**

**"Yes. But not over text."**

**"Next lunch time, yeah?"**

**"Only if you tell me everything that's going on with lover boy Cullen"**

**"Deal."**

"How long have you known about Goldy and Beany, then?" I ask Edward, watching his face for a moment, simply enjoying the view.

Edward laughs humourlessly,

"For a while, it's kind of hard to ignore that much angst"

"Fair enough, Mystic Martin"

"Do you want to know all about it?" Edward asks waveringly.

I shake my head and reply strongly,

"No. I want to hear things from my friend. It's his secret, his story, not mine. He deserves to tell it, or not tell it."

Edward smiles at me, a little adoration in his eyes. It makes me blush like an idiot.

"Just like with me and my secret, you mean"

I raise an eyebrow at him,

"Yeah, I suppose. People would get on far better in life if they didn't ask questions they know the other person isn't ready to give"

"Very true" Edward agrees, a little sadly, "I've seen enough of humanity to know that"

I want to ask about Edward's past, all the things he's seen, all the places he must have visited. There's so many things I could ask him, so many things I really truly want to know about Edward. But, instead, I sit back in my seat and allow myself to enjoy his presence.

A small smile ghosts over Edward's face.

All those questions can come later. We have time.

"Feel like playing the question game tomorrow?" Edward asks silkily.

I smirk at him,

"Can't wait."

...

Beany and I find a good place to hide out at lunch the next day, it's in one of the classrooms that is usually used for after school clubs. There were a couple of film club groupies who were already in there, but Beany shooed them out with a threat of sending another letter to the school board about inappropriate use of school filming equipment.

I'd call him a psycho dork if he wasn't my BF forever.

Beany and I settle ourselves down on the floor, our backs leaning against the wall.

"Go on, spill it, Beany" I encourage kindly.

Beany sighs shakily and says,

"It started about a year ago. At first I thought I was just imagining stuff, you know. A few touches here and there, one or two lingering glances. But I wasn't willing to put myself out there, especially not with someone like Mike, if I wasn't at least mostly sure he wouldn't knock me on my ass."

"Sure, sure, knocking asses is never good"

"Hey, no gay jokes if I'm going to get through this, ok"

I hold my hands up,

"Sorry, sorry, continue please"

Beany bites his lip a little, and then goes on,

"But then, near the end of summer break, he comes over to my house to hang out and whatever. It's just the usual stuff, we're watching a movie on my laptop in my room, and then I don't know how it happened, honesty I don't, but we end up kissing-"

"Not to sound like a twelve year old here, but who kissed who?" I ask, leaning closer to Beany, fully invested in his story now.

Beany contemplates my question for a minute and then smiles tightly,

"He's never admit it, but Mike definitely made the first real move. Don't ever tell him that though, he'll just deny it."

I scoff,

"Yeah, because I'm really going to be having this kind of conversation with Goldy any time soon"

Beany frowns at me,

"What do you mean?"

I try to think of a nice way to put this, but I can't, so I just smother it in humour instead,

"That boy is so far inside the fucking closet that he's living in god damned Narnia"

Beany doesn't laugh, but he does't disagree either.

"Can we talk about something else?" Beany asks, after a long pause.

I think about saying no, and apologising for upsetting him, but I don't think that would help right now. Whatever is going on with Goldy and Beany, this is clearly something they've argue about in the past. I make it a point not to get too involved with other people's relationships, it's better for everyone that way.

"Ok, what do you want to talk about?"

Beany tilts his head from side to side, still looking a little uneasy from before. But eventually he says,

"How about that paper due tomorrow, did you finish it yet?"

I groan loudly,

"Ugh. Yeah I finished it, but I know it's shitty. The book bores me to death, so writing about it was like poking myself in the eye with a hot spork."

Beany laughs, sounding a bit more like himself now,

"Moby Dick isn't that bad"

"It's about a whale" I grouse.

"So? What do you have against whales?" Beany asks, sounding resigned and curious despite himself.

I shrug,

"They're big and blubbery and...they are the enemy of Unicorns"

Beany hurts out laughing,

"How do you figure that one?"

"Because all Unicorns came from the sea, and you know what they were escaping FROM, don't you?" I glare at an obviously amused Beany. THIS IS SERIOUS FOR FUCKS SAKE!

"I'm gonna go ahead and guess whales" Beany says drolly.

"You're damn right!" I state pointedly, "Unicorns are a whales natural food source, they only moved on to krill after the Unicorns were like, fuck this nice, we're leaving"

"You are completely mad, Sid" Beany says, shaking his head, amusement alight in his eyes.

"Plus a whale tried to eat Marlin and Dory. So, see, evil!"

"Yes, but the whale was only trying to take them to 42 Wallaby way Sydney" Beany argues.

"That was only after Dory explained it to him in Whale-speak."

"Other wise known as Whalesong" Beany says matter of faculty.

I narrow my eyes at him,

"You're going to try and do the whale voice now aren't you"

"Of course."

And that led to us spending our whole lunch hour trying to speak like a whale, whist also pissing ourselves with laughter at the same time.

Once the bell rings, and Beany goes to leave for his next class, I place a hand on his arm and force him to face me. I keep my expression and voice serious when I say,

"I just want you to know, I have no problem with you being gay, or bi, or whatever you want to be. Even if it is with Goldy. And, also, that no matter what happens in either of our relationships, I'll be here for you, if you need to talk about anything, or yell about anything, or actually not talk at all and just make sweet sweet music using rackets to escape our troubles"

Beany smiles sadly at me, and squeezes my hand,

"Thanks Sid, I know we haven't known each other long, but I think you're the first real friend I've ever had. I'd never tell anyone else about this stuff. I think Mike's just scared of what people will say, especially his Dad. I'm a little worried about my parents too, I don't think they'd understand, curse of a small town life, you know"

I nod in understanding,

"Just remember  _'_ _Ignorance is the parent of fear. I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing.'_ "

Beany stares at me for a long moment, and then says,

"Did you just quote Moby Dick at me?"

"Maybe"

"I repeat, you are completely mad, Sid"

"Thank you."

I also managed to escape talking about Edward. Excellent.

...

Edward is driving me home from school again. We agreed to play the question game now.

"So, lets start with the obvious this time. Favourite colour?"

"Hm, I don't really have a designated favourite. But I'd have to say that it's a toss up between silver and cyan blue. The silver reminds me of the moon, and the cyan blue makes me think of the ocean. Both of which I love." I say happily. At least that one was easy.

"Interesting" Edward says, and he actually sounds like he means it.

Strange, strange child.

"Did you have a good childhood?" I ask, I really want to know more about Edward's past, not just as a vampire, but as a human too.

Edward seems to think about that one for a while.

"Yes. At the time, I had what would have been considered a good life. My parents loved me, and I was both fed and clothed. We had a roof over our heads. I can't say I remember too much specifically about my childhood. Although I do remember my mother playing piano quite wonderfully, and my father used to tell me stories sometimes in the garden. On the whole I'd say I was happy"

It makes me smile to think of a small version of Edward running around in old timey clothes and getting into all kinds of child-like trouble.

"What about you?" Edward asks, "Was your childhood a happy one?"

I pause at that, but honestly the answer is,

"Yes. I was a happy child. I was a bit weird, and people noticed, but nothing horrible happened to me really"

Edward frowns darkly at me,

"' _Nothing horrible'_ , doesn't constitute happy, Ev's"

I make a sound in frustration, but am startled by the look of protectiveness in his eyes.

"I was, and still am, perfectly fine, Ward. Really, I promise."

"Yes, but was your childhood a good one." Edward presses, obviously not willing to let this one go.

I sigh heavily and turn away from him,

"Veto"

I practically hear Edward gritting his teeth, in anger or frustration, I'm not sure.

We ride in silence for a while, and when we arrive at my house, Edward stiffens. I realise why a moment later when I catch sight of Billy Black staring at us. Uh oh.

"Quick, let me out and then drive like a bat out of hell"

"That was a vampire joke, wasn't it"

"Deal with it."

I only have a second to hear Edward's strained laughter, before I open the door and make my way towards Billy, and who I now see is my soulmate, Bambi. Edward's peals away fast in Felicity, but not before letting John discreetly (ish) jump inside the seat I just vacated.

Bella is standing off at the side, awkwardly, but what else is new.

Bambi waves enthusiastically at me.

Billy, however, is giving both me and my sister a look that clearly says 'bad shit is about to go down'.

Vampires vs. Werewolves time!


	12. Balancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

"Billy!" Dad calls out to his friend, moving to greet him in that way that older guys do.

I catch Bambi's eye, wink, and then make my epic escape, leaving Bella to deal with Billy's judgy gaze. The last thing I need is someone giving me silent grief about my relationship with Edward. I do enough of that myself, I really don't need any help.

As they all hurry in out of the rain, I strip off my jacket and hang it up. I help Dad and Bambi with Billy's chair so that we can actually get it through the door. Bella stands back, biting her nail, looking useless. I almost tell her so, but in the end I can't be bothered. Bella and I are in the same boat with this whole Cullen things, sort of anyway. I'm not sure if Isy the emo and her _truw wuv_ are actually officially together or not.

"This is a surprise" I hear Dad say to Billy.

"It's been too long" Billy replies, "I hope this isn't a bad time" His dark brown eyes skim over to me, and I feel his gaze like a chain weighing down on my shoulders. I rise an eyebrow right back at him, shrugging off the feeling as best I can.

I cannot deal with disabled wolf people getting upset with my boyfriend choices. I know my taste isn't exactly legendary, but Edward's different. He's...ugh, as much as I hate to use this word, I think I have to,...he's  _special_. Not like in the head, or then again he does want to date  _me_ , so that doesn't say much for the state of his sanity.

"No it's great, I hope you can stay for the game" Dad says, a small smile on his face. Which in Dad-speak means he's completely ecstatic.

Bambi grins, and I find myself trying not to grin too. Something about this guy makes me want to smile all the time, it's not a feeling I've ever encountered before with any other friend.

"I think that's the plan - our TV broke last week." Bambi says with a grimace.

Billy makes a face at his son,

"And of course Jacob wouldn't stop talking about Ever, so I thought it best to reunite them before he loses his mind"

I snort into my hand as Bambi groans at his father.

"Aw, you missed me Bambi, I'm so touched" I place a hand over my heart and smile at him sweetly.

Bambi narrows his pretty eyes at me,

"Don't be. I didn't miss you, it was Gordan I wanted to see."

"Too right" I agree with a nod, "He needs more _positive_  friends to hang out with" I look pointedly at Bella, who rolls her eyes at me and goes (stomps) upstairs. God, for someone so frail, she has one hell of a manly walk.

"Anyone hungry?" I ask, because I definitely am.

"Nah we already ate, thanks" Bambi says.

"How about you Dad?"

"Sure" he calls back at me as he and Billy shuffle into the living room. I nod with a smile and head off into the kitchen. I can feel Bambi follow after me. He's so damn tall. I didn't notice that back at the beach.

I reach up to get a pan out, jumping up onto the counter so that I can reach the higher shelf for the bread. Bacon and sausage sandwiches, always a winner.

"You cook?" Bambi questions skeptically, he leans against the opposite counter.

I am offended. Stupid Disney horse thinks he can doubt my cooking ability and get away with it.

I cross my arms and glare him,

"Yes I can, thank you Bambi. I feed everyone around here."

Bambi raises an eyebrow at me,

"Really, why?"

"Because I'm nice like that" I reply as I get the bacon going.

"No...that's not it" Bambi says as he strokes his invisible old man beard.

"Shut it, you big Disney horse" I snip at him, making sure to aim some of the spittle from the pan his way.

Bambi barks out a laugh,

"Disney horse? I thought I was Bambi"

"You are" I say dismissively.

"Bambi is a deer, Lyna"

I hit him with the spatula and he jumps back away from the counter. I smirk in satisfaction.

"Don't call me that! And horse, deer, heffalump, who cares, they all have hooves and stuff"

"What the hell is a heffalump?" Bambi questions warily, holding his hands up to avoid more spatula attacks.

Good. He shall fear me.

"A heffalump is a type of elephant from Winnie the Pooh" I answer, with a trace of 'duh' in my tone. Like who the hell doesn't know that. Am I the only one who knows the important things in life around here.

"How do elephants have hooves?"

"I said and  _stuff_! Heffalumps fall into  _and stuff_  category"

"Oh, God, there are categories now. Where did it all go so wrong? Just ten minutes ago I was a simple Disney deer" Bambi says, clutching his hands to his chest.

"You couldn't look any more like a woman right now" I say, shaking my head and finishing off the food

"That hurt my feelings" Bambi says, wiping away a fake tear.

"Ok, I take it back,  _now_  you couldn't look like any more of a woman"

"Real men cry" Bambi counters.

I can't help but laugh at that,

"You have to be a man first for that rule to apply"

"I'd say I can prove it, but your Dad's in the next room, so that'd be totally awkward"

I snort out another laugh and point at him,

"Be of use to me and grab some plates"

Bambi does as I ask and I dish up the bacon, sausages and bread, a.k.a a meat eaters perfect sandwich.

"So, how are things?" Bambi asks me with a slow grin.

"Not bad" I find myself smiling again. Damn, this guy has magic powers or something. "Did you manage to finish your car?"

Bambi makes a face,

"Nope. Still looking for the right part"

"I have a contact in Russia who could get it for ya, but it costs big bucks to get it flown over"

"Nah, I already promised myself, no more dealings with the Russian Maffia. It's not worth it. Is something wrong with the truck?" Bambi asks.

"The ** _truck_**? What is this 'truck' you speak of?"

"Sorry, a thousand apologies. Is there something wrong with  _Gordan,_  is he sick?"

"Ohhhh, no. Gordan's cool."

"Gordan's always cool"

"I know."

"I just saw that you weren't driving him"

"Bella was though"

"I know"

"You just want to know who I got a ride with, don't you"

"Yes"

"Then try asking me nicely and I might tell you"

Bambi takes a deep breathe and pretends to warm up, even doing a few jumping jacks, the crazy idiot.

"Ok..ok...here it goes...who gave you a lift home?"

"Batman" I reply, snickering at my own inside joke. I'll have to tell Edward about that one later.

"Aw, come on, I asked real nicely"

"And I said I  _might_  tell you, see how this works?"

Bambi makes a scandlised face and huffs in mock annoyance,

"Well. I.  _Never_. The children of today. No respect."

"I'm older than you, you punk" I shake my fist at him, "Get off my lawn!"

"I don't even know what a lawn is!" Bambi cries in mock horror.

"Edward Cullen" I say after another round of laughter, "That's who I got a ride home with"

"Ah" Bambi says, "So that's why dad is acting so weird"

"Your  _face_  is weird" I reply sweetly.

Bambi snorts,

" _Your_  face is weird"

Oh, here we go.

"Your Dad doesn't like the Cullens, huh"

Bambi looks reluctant to answer indefinitely,

"Hmmm, he's just...wary of them, I guess"

"Do you think he'd say something to my Dad?" Because I really don't need my Dad thinking Edward is a crazy vampire. Even if he is.

Bambi seems to think about that for a long time, tilting his head from side to side.

"They fell out over it the first time, so no, I don't think he'd bring it up again on purpose"

"Hm" That's not exactly reassuring.

I take the sandwich for Dad into the living room and Bambi follows after me. I stay in the living room, not because I like sports all that much, but because I like hanging out with Bambi. He's pretty funny. And I also want to make sure Billy doesn't say anything to Dad about me and the Cullens. It's not like Dad could really force me to stop seeing Edward, I just would prefer not to have the agro.

Mom never would have cared, she let me go out with whoever I wanted back in Phoenix, which was not always a good thing.

...

I wake up after a good nights sleep feeling pretty happy with myself. It must be catching because even Bella smiles. Almost. Ish. Ok, it was a twitch of her lips, but still, in my world, that counts when it comes to Bella.

I even pull on another one of my favourite t-shirts, it reads " _Did you just fall?_   **No, I attacked the floor.**   _Backwards?_   **I'm freaking talented.** " Because we all know it's true.

When I get downstairs Bella is whistling and I nearly ask what alternate universe I've been dropped in, but I don't, for worlds peace sake. I smile widely at Dad though when he catches my eye.

"You're both in a good mood this morning" he says.

Bella shrugs,

"It's Friday"

"Hm, pixie hunting day" I add with a smirk.

Bella narrows her eyes at me,

"Shut up"

"Never!" I announce happily.

Edward and John Paul are waiting outside not long after our Dad leaves for work, and all that's left to decide is who takes which vehicle. But first I want to have some fun.

I smile first at Edward, his presence already having a powerful affect on me. He smiles back, although there's an edgy undercurrent in his eyes that confuses me. My heart flips as I get closer to him, though, and I feel the world begin to fade around us. Sometimes, when I look at him, nothing else exists but Edward and I. It's a truly frightening and exhilarating thing to feel for another person.

Now here comes the fun part. I smile slyly at JdragonP,

"Well hello, how are you on this fine day JP?"

JP gives me a derisive look, but answers with a bit of wry amusement in his tone,

"Manageable"

Edward scoffs under his breathe,

"In your opinion"

JP turns to his brother,

"I am the epitome civility"

More like the epitome of douchary. Bella shoots me a harsh look, as if she can tell what I'm thinking.

Damn, she's like some sort of twitchy emo mind reader. We have enough mind readers around here as it is.

"That was a bit of a fancy word for you, brother" Edward says drolly, "Are you sure you know what it means?"

JP glares at Edward, who, much like I would with Bella, just smiles serenely back. Ha, I knew Edward was the weird twin.

I opt for Gordan again this time, and without a goodbye to Bella, because she's already pissed off enough with me as it is, I grab hold of Edward's arm and drag him over. Edward smirks at his brother one last time, before turning around coming with me willingly.

We don't wait to see what our siblings do before driving off towards school. Edward turns to me once we get on the road and asks,

"How was your night?"

I shrug,

"Can't really complain. I mean, I still live with Bella, so it's never going to be great, but, you know"

"I live with John, what do you think?" Edward shakes his head.

"We didn't get very far with our game yesterday, you want to pick it up"

"As long as I get to go first"

I roll my eyes in mock exasperation,

"Fine, fine, go ahead"

Edward sits up a little straighter and fixes me with a penetrating look,

"Is there anyone you've had a serious relationship with before?"

I make face and mumble noncomittaly,

"Not really"

"But you've dated, yes"

"Well, yeah, but...hey, no cheating, it's my turn"

Edward holds his hands up,

"You're right, sorry. Ask away, Ev's"

"Did you ever have a serious relationship...like were you ever  _married_  or something back in the olden days?" Something about Edward being married makes me want to laugh more than anything. He's such a serious and old fashioned sort of guy, I can so totally picture it.

Edward arches an eyebrow at me, his eyes darkening slightly,

"No. I was never married...but...there was one girl. She was my age, and we'd only met a few times. Our parents were friends. It's likely, if I'd survived the war, that we would have been married"

Hmm, interesting.

"Tell me more about these...previous partners of yours" Edward says, sounding both curious and reluctant.

I slide him a glance,

"Are you sure? You're not gonna get all jealous and fly over to Phoenix just to kick their asses, right?"

Edwards laughs, the sound is like music to my ears,

"Really, just tell me"

I watch him for another moment, assessing whether he really will get all weird about it or not. Finally, I decide that I have to trust that he won't, and I say,

"There was one man. I liked him a lot. Maybe not loved, but...I could have loved him. Maybe. One day. He's the only one in Phoenix I ever saw a real future with. His name was Cas. He was wild and dangerous, but kind and thoughtful too. Or at least, that's how it all seemed at first."

Edward seems troubled, something flashing in his eyes. I quickly ask a question, hoping to avoid whatever emotion Edward is blatantly feeling right now.

"What was her name?"

"Who?" Edward asks distractedly.

"The girl you might have married"

Edward blinks in surprise,

"Oh...her name was Alexandria Moore"

Edward appears to lose himself in a memory for a few minutes, and I allow him to drift, hoping whatever he's seeing play out inside his mind will make him forget about whatever his thoughts are on Cas. That was over and done with a long time ago. I shouldn't have told Edward about it. I never talk to anyone about Cas. I should have remembered why.

"A man" Edward asks, and I groan inwardly, "You said man. Specifically. He was older."

"Yes" I answer carefully.

"You like dangerous men"

Well...um...oh God. That sounds so bad coming from him.

"Did you ever look up what happened to her?" I ask, mostly out of desperation, but also out of my own curiosity.

"Yes" Edward answers, surprisingly happily, a bit of a smile on his face, "She married an English man. A doctor. They had two children. I believe that she was happy. And that made me feel...glad."

Oh, Edward, they just don't make them like you anymore. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing though.

"Try not to get upset over my past love life, Ward. None of them mean anything to me now." I say, reaching out to take Edward's hand as I park Gordan in the school parking lot.

Edward is still frowning though when I tangle our fingers together.

"You mean something to me" I say, putting as much truth behind the words as I can, "Maybe more than I could have imagined possible."

Edward's eyes begin to clear at that, and he turns to me again, meeting my own violet eyes head on. We must stare at each other for a good while, before Edward says,

"You mean more than just something to me, Ev's. I've never met anyone like you. I didn't even know it was possible for there to be a person like you."

I have to laugh, but I can feel something that might just be tears pricking behind my eyes.

"I know. I'm just that good."

"Yeah" Edward agrees, his voice lowered, now deeper and smoother than before.

"Ah, don't get all sexy voice on me, we're at school now" I complain halfheartedly.

Edward fixes me with another penetrating look,

"You started it"

"Oh, very mature"

"I'm over one hundred years old. And a vampire. I can be as immature as I want."

Well, he's got a point.

"Come on then, Batboy, lets' go"

"I am not a bat!" Edward protests as we climb out of Gordan and make our way into hell. Otherwise known as school.

"You're going hunting today, yeah?" I ask, changing the topic so Edward won't lose his shit. As funny and terrifying as that might be to watch.

Edward calms down some, but shoots me a look that clearly says 'I know what you're doing'. I just smile at him. If in doubt, always smile at your opponent like a lunatic. I swear by it.

"Yes, with Alice"

"Why Alice? Do you prefer hunting with her?" I ask, more than just a little curious about the people Edward calls family.

"Alice is...more supportive than the others" Edward answers carefully, his eyes shifting strangely.

I raise an eyebrow,

"What are the others like? Please tell me all your other siblings aren't like JP."

Edward actually laughs at that,

"No. They aren't really like anyone. My siblings are each...unique..in their own way"

Speaking of his family, I see them all standing near Rosalie's car. I haven't changed my mind since time I saw them months ago. They still look like statues that very occasionally move. Beautiful and perfect and drastically inhuman, how they fool anyone when they all stand together like that is beyond me.

"They...can't like me much"

Edward frowns,

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm just a puny teenage human to them. I get it. Why should they like me, they don't even know me. All they do know is that I'm some random girl who you've told all their secrets to. They have good reason to be wary."

Edward seems surprised by my answer, although I can see he tries to hide his agreement. I see it anyway, and I really don't mind. It's not like I know Edward's family either. We're both just unknown entities to each other right now.

I would like to meet them properly though, for awkwardness sake if for no other reason. I would also love for Bella to meet them. She already reacts like a strangled ferret around Edward and JP, God knows what she would be like with a whole family of them.

As I watch the Cullens for a little longer, Edward says,

"There's nothing they could possibly not like about you, if they get to know you."

Before I can reply to that, the tall blond one, Rosalie, locks eyes with me and  _holy shit_ , she gives me the most bitchy glare I've ever seen. I mean, seriously, she could teach people professionally with a skill like that.

We keep on staring at each other for a long moment. Her glare turns molten however when I wave. For fucks sake, what's she got against a bit of polite waving. Even queens wave. And this one definitely thinks of herself as such. A princess in her own world of control. Uh oh, now I'm officially interested. I'll have to befriend her now. My hand starts to twitch.

Fuck, not  _now_!

Edward distracts me by growling under his breathe threateningly, a sound that is clearly aimed at his sister, causing Rosalie to look away from me.

I look over at Edward, who now has pain set deep in his eyes. I feel an ache in my chest for being even part of that pain.

"I'm sorry about that...it's..you were right...it's dangerous for my whole family. If this thing between us ends...badly" Edward tries to explain, but the sadness in his eyes simply becomes more intense.

"You mean if you kill me?" I question narrowly.

Edward's eyes snap to meet mine, and he says seriously,

"Yes. If I kill you."

I ponder that for a moment. Do I really believe Edward could kill me?

Well yes, I know he could. He's a super strong vampire, and I'm just a human with a bat. Even I'm not mad enough to think I could win that fight. Kevin might survive it, but I certainly wouldn't.

But, the real question is, do I really think Edward would kill me?

"I wouldn't be going out with you if I believed you would hurt me, Edward" Which is true. If I thought, for even a second, that Edward was seriously about to hurt me, then I would end things between us. As much as I care for Ward, I'm not an idiot.

"I might" Edward says coldly, his expression full of self-loathing, and it hurts me to see that much pain threatening to overwhelm him.

I shake my head, making myself as clear as possible when I say,

"Fuck that, Ward. You're not a monster, whatever you might have been in the past. That isn't who you are now. I believe that you would never choose to hurt me. Feel free to prove me wrong right now, but that's the truth as I see it."

Edward stops suddenly and pulls me rather forcefully around to face him. He slides a hand over my hip and yanks me closer so that my chest brushes his. Edward's eyes are dark and possessive, and they take hold of me like dark magic, coaxing my soul into it's trap of thorns.

His other hand cups my face, and a shiver races down my spine, making me gasp a little. Edward opens his mouth to say something, possibly something meaningful, but then stops. His expression becomes droll, and I realise a moment later why when he says,

"Alice"

Alice comes into view then, practically skipping around me. I like a girl who can skip properly. I scan her face for a moment. She is beautiful, like a little fairy. But she's also a vampire, so I can't help but imagine her being like one of those cartoon bunnies who look all cute at first but then turn into ninja's and kill everyone.

Oh, my hand is seriously twitching like crazy right now. I  _need_  to write.

"Edward" Alice says, her voice a high tinkling, like a particular type of bell.

Edward smiles wryly and says,

"Alice, this Ever. Ever, this I Alice"

I ignore him and is, frankly wubbish, introduction skills. I try my best to smile at Alice whislt still being caught in Edward's almost protective embrace,

"Hello, I'm Ever, but feel free to call me Sidney, Unicorn, or 'that weird girl'. Whatever you like."

Edward tries to stifle a laugh, but I can feel it bubbling inside his chest.

Alice's smile is friendly when she replies,

"Hello, it's nice to finally meet you" she turns to Edward, "Are you ready?"

"Nearly, I'll meet you at the car" Edward replies steadily, although he holds me a little tighter as he says it.

Alice walks away, with one last lingering look at me. She's so damn graceful, like a ballerina or something. Bella must hate that.

I look back up at Edward,

"So, have a good time killing baby animals"

Edward rolls his eyes,

"I do not kill baby animals"

I make a mock innocent face,

"Whoever said you did?"

"Um, you, Ev's"

"When?"

"About ten seconds ago"

I pretend to think about it,

"Hmmm, I don't know. I think you're just making that up."

"I was there, Ev's. I heard the whole sentence come out of your mouth ten seconds ago"

"Oh, so now it's ten seconds ago from  _now._ I think you need to get your timing straight before you start making shit up"

Edward groans in frustration and squeezes my hip, drawing me closer still,

"You...are the most infuriating person I have ever met"

I smirk proudly,

"And don't you forget it...batboy"

"I do not turn into a bat!"

"Whoever said you did?"

"Oh, don't start that again"

"Start what?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok, crazy head"

Rude.

"See you tomorrow, Ward"

Edward looks for a moment like he might kiss me, and my heart just about stops beating. But then something seems to change his mind, and all he does is hold me tightly for another moment, staring into my eyes like all he can see, hear or feel is me and this moment between us.

And then he's gone, and I'm left wondering just how deep I'm willing to let myself fall into this disaster waiting to happen.

Fucking hell, someone give me some paper before my hand falls off. I skip school and spend the whole day grafting a story.

A story about a princess with a secret. A soldier who only sees death. And a forest with too many shadows.


	13. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

"Did I mention that I'm allergic to exercise, because I'm sure I did at some point" I say, trying to keep my balance as Edward and I make our way through the woods.

"Stop whining" Edward teases, flashing me a quick smile.

I narrow my eyes at him,

"I'd say drop dead, but..."

"Too late, huh"

"Kinda rock boy"

When Edward said 'I have something to show you', I didn't think that would mean we'd be trekking through the fucking Enchanted forest. Whatever he's got to show me better be good, or I will kill him and bury the asshole here. No one will ever know. Not even the squirrels!

STAY BACK SQUIRRELS! BEWARE OF THE EVIL EVER! I SHALL TAKE ALLLL THE NUTS!

Damn, my brain has gone to  _that place_  again. No good can come of this.

"What do you mean you don't like exercising? You go running all the time" Edward says, arching a 'bullshit detector' eyebrow.

I flip him off and say sweetly,

"That's completely different, you big fat rock!"

"I am not fat!" Edward exclaims in mock outrage, his hands smoothing over his perfectly toned stomach. Edward sniffs at me, "I'm just big boned"

I scoff right back at him and mutter,

"Only if those bones are made of pure fat"

Edward gasps,

"Well, someone's being a meany bo beany today"

I almost choke on a laugh,

"You, are a major dorkzilla. Now shut up and show me whatever it is I'm actually here to see"

Something flashes over Edward's expression then, and his eyes become hard. But through that I can see that he's very nervous. But what could he possibly have to show me that could make him feel this uncomfortable? I hope it's not his sex dungeon, because I really think sex dungeons are more of a 1 year old relationship thing, you know.

"I have to show you something. I have to show you who I really am." Edward intones, a darkness to his voice, a haunting melody, that I've never heard from him before.

Ok then, so this is a serious moment apparently. Righto. Goodie.

"Whatever you have to show me, Ward, it won't change how I feel about you. I know what you are already, and anything else beyond that are things we can work out together"

Oh fucking hell, did I just say all of that?

I must be getting soft in my old age.

Edward meets my eyes then, and some sort of understanding passes between us, a spark of hope shines out from the depths of Edward's mind.

"I really want that to be true" Edward all but whispers, possibly more to himself than to me.

And then, the best thing that has ever happened ever in the history of man-kind, happens.

There is a strip of light coming through the trees. Edward steps out into that sunlight, and...BAH! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I mean just-BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

It is literally  _that_  funny.

I fall to my knees, because this much laughter does not mix well with standing up right. I end up sprawled on my back, still laughing uncontrollably.

"It's not that funny" I hear Edward say from somewhere off in the distance, in reality. A place I used the exist within, back before my laughter induced coma.

He's such a liar. It's fucking hilarious.

Basically, Edward in the sunlight, is amazing. I do stop laughing. Eventually.

I sit up and look at Edward, who has this stoic look on his face that could either be suppressed laughter, or immense annoyance.

His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkles, like...like...like he's made of stars, or diamonds or fucking glitter. The last ones my favourite. He looks like even more of a perfect statue than usual, his skin shimmers in the sunlight, and I want nothing more than to touch him, to slide my fingers over his arm.

Edward is beautiful, like a prince. Prince of the fae.

But he still sparkles, and that, is the funniest fucking thing ever. And yet somehow it makes me like him more. It's odd, because the most inhuman thing about him, is now the thing that makes him seem the most human in my eyes. Maybe it's because he clearly hates it, thinks of it as a fatal flaw. Before now Edward has always seemed so confident within himself, but now I see some real insecurity in his eyes.

When my eyes meet and lock with his, however, his mouth quirks up into a small smile. The self deprecating one that makes my heart burn with something I don't yet fully understand.

"I officially don't scare you, then?" Edward asks.

I scoff incredulously, although I know my answer means a lot to him,

"Of course not, captain sparkles"

Edward groans and runs a hand through his hair,

"This is the start of endless 'sparkle' based mockaery isn't it"

I smirk devilishly,

"I have no idea what you mean, you little glitter bug"

"Really,  _glitter bug_?" Edward narrow his eyes at me and shakes his head.

I rub my hands together,

"Don't worry, I have plenty more where that came from, my friend"

Edward moves over to me and sits down by my side on the ground,

"Oh, I can't wait to hear what array of insults my  _girlfriend_  has in store for me"

"Ah, so it's officially time for us to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, is it? What are we, twelve?" I arch an eyebrow at him speculatively.

Edward smirks at me, and something hot shoots through my body,

"Too bad, I like it, so get used to being called my girlfriend, Everlyna"

I give him evils. The bastard.

"Tell me what you're thinking" Edward tilts his head to side, watching my face carefully.

"You still stuck on the whole not being able to read my mind thing, huh?"

"Yes, it still...bothers me. I'm not used to it."

"You know, that's what it's like for the rest of us all the damn time" I reply with a small smile.

"I don't like it" Edward mutters, almost pouting now.

That makes me laugh again,

"Yeah, well, you better get used to it, twinkle dee"

Edward makes a face at me,

"Come on, answer my question"

I sigh heavily and get up, using his shoulder to heft myself to my feet. Edward soon follows, and end up only inches away from me. I breathe in his weird smell. It's nice, alluring I guess. But it's his eyes, fastened on mine, a whiskey brown, that catches my attention and holds it.

"I was thinking that you are so much more human than you think you are" I say honestly.

Edward looks away from me then, some sort of strong emotion rocking through him for a moment. His jaw clenches, and for a second I worry that I've upset him. I meant what I said as a compliment, but I can't be sure if Edward will take it as such.

Suddenly his gaze is back, locked with mine again, an intense burn threatening to steal all the breath from my body,

"I don't know how you can look at me, knowing what you know, and see anything but a monster"

Ah, so here it is, the crux of our problem.

I move impossibly closer to Edward, lifting hands to cup his perfect cold face, and seeing nothing but those warm eyes. I lean in close, so close that Edward stills, his whole body freezing. I know this must be hard for him, but I have to trust that he would never hurt me, or I shouldn't be here at all. Plus, I need him to understand, and truly believe, what I'm about to say.

"Now, listen to me, you insane, beautiful, arrogant, funny, ridiculously intense vampire; I do not think that you are a monster. When I look at you, what I see is a man. A man who fascinates me beyond all reason. I see someone who I want to get to know. I see someone who could easily become...who could easily become someone I care deeply for. I see the first person I've ever really connected with. I see you, Edward Cullen, a man who trusts me enough to show me the deepest, darkest parts of himself, the parts no one else ever gets to see. So, please, trust me enough to believe what I'm saying right now, because if you can't trust me the-"

Edward cuts off my, frankly impassioned speech, by pressing his cold, soft lips against mine.

Something seems to explode inside my mind, and every feeling towards Edward I've been holding back comes rushing to the surface. It's a gentle kiss, a real kiss that makes every one of my nerve endings tingle, right down to my toes. My heart thuds like an out of control drum beat, and my mind whirls with all the emotion passing between us in this moment.

I remove my hands from his face, instead twining my arms around his neck, allowing him to envelop his own strong arms around my waist, yanking my body against his. Our kiss deepens and I just about manage to swallow a moan. Jesus, did he get lessons on kissing or something. Fuck.

When we finally pull apart I'm breathing a little heavily, and I'm sure my face is flushed. Obviously Edward is neither out of breathe, or flushed, what with him being an almighty vampy person and all. But I do see the heat that's flaring in his eyes, causing the whiskey colour of his iris to look like its swirling, and I feel how tight his arms are around me, holding me almost possessively. The look in his gaze is saying loud and clear that he would destroy anyone who tried to take me away from him right now.

Although suddenly surprise and remorse enters his expression and I have to stop myself from slapping him when he says,

"I'm...I'm sorry-"

"Don't you dare!" I snap, angry that he would dare apologise for what just happened between us.

Edward smiles slightly,

"Should I apologise for apologising?"

"Shut it sparkles" I reply, flicking the back of his head, hard.

"You know you're very violent" Edward says, eyeing me.

"Only with you. For some reason you seem to bring it out in me"

"Clearly" Edward sighs mock wearily.

"Ha, now who's whinging"

Edward smiles again, and it's real smile this time.

"I really should leave. It would be better for you."

I groan loudly,

"Oh, we're not back to  _that_  again, are we?"

"Don't worry, I'm too much of a selfish creature to walk away from...this" Edward slides a hand up and down my back, effectively caressing the shit out of me. Damn him!

"Then I'm glad you're selfish enough to want me even though you probably shouldn't, for both our sakes"

"Ah, so you  _do_  understand" Edward exclaims.

"Yep...but, you see, the thing is, I'm too much of a selfish creature to walk away from you either" I say, smirking a little.

"Good, because if you walked away, I might just have to come after you"

"I should freakin' well hope so, crystal cave!"

"Is this 'sparkles' thing?"

"Ha, 'crystal cave', that could be your porn star name!"

"Porn star name? What are you talking about?"

"Oh right, sorry, porn stars are people who get filmed doing sexual things-"

"I know what porn is, Ever!" Edward practically shouts.

"You do? Well, Edward Cullen, I am shocked. Shocked and  _appalled_!" I smile at him manically.

A look of resignation enters Edward's eyes,

"Oh here we go"

"My porn star name is Kinky Quickie" I inform him.

Edward stares at me, open mouthed, for a few long moment before saying,

"I don't even know how to respond to that"

I pat him on the head,

"Nobody does, sparkles, nobody ever does"

"I kinda like you, Ev's" Edward says, a grin splitting his face wide open, letting me see all that wonderful, terrifying, emotion in his eyes.

I find myself grining back, probably showing more of myself right now than I'd ever done with anyone else,

"I sorta like you too, Ward"

And then he kisses me again and everything else in the world fades away into nothing.

It's only us.

Just him, and me.

Ever and Edward.

Ev's and Ward.

The Unicorn and the Fae Prince.

Insanity and Sparkles.

The world, is doomed.


	14. Mind Over Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

"Thank you for not driving like a maniac" I say to Edward.

Edward glances over at me from the drivers side of Felicity and nods,

"I'll do anything for the company of a lady"

I arch an eyebrow at him,

"You picking up a lady later on tonight?"

"I meant you" Edward says in an amused tone.

"Oh" I exclaim, making a face, "I've aready told you once, I'm not a lady. I'm a woman-"

"Living on the edge, yeah, I remember" Edward recites.

"That's creepy" I cross my arms over my chest and look out the window, "You just quoted me from months ago"

Edward gives a breathless laugh,

"Some girls might find that attractive"

I snort dismissively,

"Some girls think a lot of stupid shit, that doesn't mean I do"

"What kind of shit do  _you_  think, then?" Edward asks curiously.

"Ah, so we're back to the game now, huh?" I eye Edward sagely.

"Bring it on, Ev's" Edward replies, his eyes connecting with mine for a few brief moments before shifting away again.

I take a deep breathe and then say,

"I think about a lot of things. Too much goes on up here for most of it to make any sense" I tap the side of my head.

"That's not really an answer" Edward argues.

I fix him with a piercing look,

"It's an answer. Just because it's not the answer you want doesn't mean it's not an answer"

Edward watches me for a while, his eyes burning into me like hot coals. Finally he relents and says,

"Fine, I'll remember that for future reference"

I press on, not wanting the atmosphere to turn stifling between us,

"You told me Dr. Sexbomb turned you into a vampire, right. But what about the rest of your family, were they already glitterfiends, or what?"

Edward pauses for about a second, and then makes a strange sound that could be either a groan or a laugh. I think he might be losing it.

"First of all...his name is Carlisle. Please, God, do not call him..."

"Dr. Sexbomb?"

"Yes, that would be it. Please do not call him that"

"To his face, or at all?"

"At all"

"Sounds rather limiting"

" _Ever_ "

"Jealous?"

" _Ever Swan_!"

"Ok, ok, I won't acknowledge that your sort of dad is super duper sexy. A total DILF, if you will"

Edward pauses again, and then says seriously,

"I do not want to know what that means. I can already tell from the evil smirk on your face that I really do not want to know."

Well. Too bad, Edwardo.

"DILF means,  **D** ad  **I** 'd  **l** ike to  **f** u-"

"One more word and I will crash this car"

I roll my eyes,

"What happened to 'oh, Ever, I'm such a good driver, I've never had an accident'? Hmmm, don't tell me you've lost confidence  _now_ "

Edward shrugs,

"I didn't say me crashing the car would be an accident"

I give him another evil look,

"Your Dad's hotter than you. Get over it."

Edward sighs heavily,

"You don't mean that"

"Don't I?" I challenge.

"This conversation has become ridiculous"

"Agreed"

"Shall we move forward to item two on my list of things wrong with the before mentioned question?"

"Yes, I think that would be best"

I try hard not to laugh. It's so funny when Edward gets all worked up. After all this time of knowing him, I still can't stop myself from poking at him. It's like prodding a sleeping bear with a stick. Dangerous  _and_  satisfying.

As long as the bear doesn't actually wake up.

In this instance the metaphorical 'bear' is Edward's meany bo beany vampy side. He said that part of him wants to rip me apart and drink my special smelling blood. Rude. Vampires are rude. And mean. I think I've said that before at some point. But it's still true. You shouldn't kill people and drink their blood. It's very questionable. Jesus would surely disapprove. And since Jesus is my homeboy, what with me being part of his super fan squad (points at nonexistent Jesus badge), I feel I should respect his moral values on killing people.

And that is the only reason why I refuse to answer to my true calling of becoming a successful serial killer. Although I still think I'd Boss as being a cold, heartless sociopath.

"Right" Edward begins, "Second of all, I have to ask even though every part of my brain is yelling at me not to, 'glitterfiends'? Really?"

I grin madly at him,

"I think that's the best one yet. It combines both the sparkly and evil side of vampyness"

"What are you talking about now?" Edward asks, sounding frustrated.

I try to conceal a laugh. Because I'm kind of a bitch like that.

"You're too young to understand"

"That doesn't even make any sense, I'm so much older than you! How can I possibly be too young, and yet at the same time you're apparently old enough to understand? It's completely illogical"

I wave a hand whimsically,

"Yes, yes, you are three bazillion years old, I know, I know"

"That's not even a real number Ever!"

I turn on him and say,

"Well, you were around when they invented them, so you would know"

Edward shakes his head in exasperation,

"Do you mean I was around when  _numbers_  were invented, is that what you're saying right now?"

I sigh. For fucks sake, do I have to explain everything to people?

"Yes, yes that is what I meant"

An incredulous look passes over Edward's face,

"Do you have any idea how long ago it was when numbers were invented?"

"How should I know, you were the one who was there" I throw my hands up. He's just being difficult now.

Edward replies dryly,

"I don't feel like we're getting anywhere with this"

"It depends where we're trying to get to in the first place. Where was this conversation leading again?"

Edward's expression is one of complete and utter defeat when he says,

"I have no idea anymore"

I reach over and pat his arm,

"Good for you, Ward. I think you've just had a breakthrough"

"My head hurts" Edward complains, reaching up with one hand to run it through his typically messy auburn hair.

I huff at him. Honestly, am I the only one who pays attention to important conversations around here?

"Stop whinging. I need you to tell me about how your family got together"

Edward looks at me suspiciously,

"Why, are you making a family tree collage or something?"

I hold up a finger,

"One, collages are for dorks. It's all about the scrapbooks these days, grandpa Cullen. Two, I feel like I know next to nothing about your family and you know almost everything about mine. Come on, even it up a little for me."

Edward narrows his pretty, and intimdating eyes, at me. I smile back. He groans and looks away.

I win.

"I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

"How about Queen B and Mr Muscle?" I ask.

Edward frowns that no nonsense thingy frown at me,

"It's my turn to ask a question, Ever"

"No, I asked about your whole family. Queen B and Mr Muscle are part of your family, therefore they are part of the original question"

Edward eyes me for a long time, enough time that I begin to wonder if he will actually crash this vehicle and kill me. That would be so ironic. Killed by a vampire via car accident.

"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him - he was careful with his thoughts around me." Edward sighs in annoyance, "But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting - we were in Appalachia at the time - and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her."

Edward gives me a pointed look. He reaches over and takes my hand in his, bringing my hand up to brush his cold soft lips over the pulse in my wrist. I feel him shudder and the breathe catches in my throat for a long tortured moment.

"But Queen B managed not to eat her future lover, yes"

Edward actually smirks at that,

"Just about, yeah"

I smirk back at him. I can't wait to meet Queen B in person. She is gonna hate Bella. It'll be awesome.

"Ok, how about Pixie stick and Cracky"

Edward rubs his thumb over my hand, and appears to be considering something.

"I have to ask this, why 'Cracky'?"

I shrug, because it's obvious.

"No offence to your pseudo brother, but he looks like he's been on crack. For a hundred years."

"Then why not just call him 'Crack'?"

"Because Cracky sounds more whimsically fun"

"Jasper is not whimsically fun"

"All the more reason for his name to be then. Like fat people who are nicknamed 'tiny'. It's the same concept."

Edward gives me a look that clearly states 'I refuse to respond to that'. Well fine, then. Be that way ya big fat rock.

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another... family, a very different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

I raise an eyebrow,

"Seriously? What kind of gifts? Do sugar cubes come out of her ass or something?"

"She not that bad" Edward defends.

I watch him for a minute. He relents,

"Fine, she's that bad"

I sit back, satisfied.

"I like sugar cubes" I say.

"Out of someone's ass?"

"I can't say I've ever tried it"

"Good."

Edward rolls his eyes at me,

"She sees things - things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

That sounds...dodgy.

"Edward...that's not seeing the future, that's basically lucid guessing. I mean, I can see through glass, I don't try to market it as a superpower"

Edward, far from being offended, snorts out a long laugh,

"I can't wait for you to tell Alice that. Rosalie's been saying the same thing for years"

Ha, I knew Queen B and I would be besties.

Edward pulls up outside my house. I can tell that he doesn't want me to leave, and to be honest, I don't want to leave either. I think for a moment about all the reasons why I shouldn't ask him to come inside. Then I tell those reasons to fuck off, because I'm doing it anyway.

I turn to ask Edward if he wants to come inside with me, but Edward beats me to it,

"Can I come in?"

I shrug,

"Sure thing, come see my humble living space. Ignore the emoness that Bella leaves in her wake."

Edward chuckles and follows me up to the door. I knock, having not taken my keys. No one answers, and I sigh,

"God damn it, Bella, just when I thought your emo unsociable-ness was going to be of use to me"

I go to grab the spare key. But when I turn around, Edward holds out the spare key to me. I eye him suspiciously and ask, as I unlock the door,

"How the hell did you know where that was?"

Edward shuffles a bit, and I spin around fully to look at him. I cross my arms and stand with my hip propped against the doorframe,

"Edward?"

He locks eyes with me, and we begin the weirdest staring contest known to man or unicorn. Edward gives in first, because I am the champion of awkward stares, I've had loads of practice with Bella and my Dad, and he admits,

"John told me about it"

Why would he not want to tell me that...

"Edward, how did John find out about it?"

"He was curious about Bella" Edward says slowly.

Son of a fucking bitch!

"He spied on her? Are you fucking serious?"

I am outraged. Furious. That is so beyond not ok.

I literally can't form words, and Edward is watching me like I might explode at any moment. He has a right to think that because right now I feel like exploding, I'm so angry.

Edward follows me into the house when I throw my hands up and storm inside.

"He didn't mean any harm by it" Edward tries to explain.

I turn on him,

"How often, Edward?"

My boyfriend makes a face,

"Uhhhhh..."

"Edward! Seriously, this isn't funny, tell me right now" I demand. This really isn't funny at all.

"He's here almost every night" Edward tells me, wincing even as he says the words.

I am stunned. Like, literally, I'm fucking stunned right now. I don't even know how to process something like that.

"Please tell me you don't do that" I fix Edward with a stare so intense that I see something like panic flash in his eyes.

He shakes his head fiercely

"Of course not."

" _Why_  not?" I ask seriously.

Edward moves closer to me, backing me up against the wall, his hands press against the wallpaper. Strong, toned arms block me in, and I search Edward's handsome face for a truth I need to know right now.

"Because I'm not a stalker" Edward answers, and he leans even closer into me, our bodies pressed together in a way that makes fire lick at my insides, "And I'm too afraid that if I saw you like that, so damn vulnerable, then I think I might actually give into the urge take you away with me and keep you forever"

I swallow hard, heat and lust slamming through me in waves, causing my heart to pound painfully inside my chest. I press myself even further back into the wall, trying to create space between us. But Edward isn't having any of it, and he fits his lean body against mine. A thick layer of tension beats like a living thing between us, and my world begins to crumble yet again as Edward presses his forehead against mine.

Our eyes connect, and sparks fly like fireworks locked inside a cage made of electricity. Everything seems so much brighter with Edward so close, invading my senses like a shooting star in the darkness.

I try to shake myself out of it,

"Edward, don't think that this gets your brother off the hook-"

"I don't give a shit about my brother right now" Edward whispers harshly, "If you really think anyone, or anything, other than you enters my mind when I have you pressed up against a wall in an empty house, then you are very sadly mistaken"

A shot of pleasure spindles up my spine, and I am almost powerless to stop myself from gasping. I slide my hands up over Edward's hard chest, and lock my around around his neck.

" ** _Edward_** " I say, although it sounds more like a half moan to my own ears, so God knows how it sounds to a pent up Edward,

" ** _Ever_** " Edward growls out my name, like a curse and a blessing at the same time.

Just as I'm about to say something else, maybe to invite him to fucking kiss me already or something, I hear a lock in the door. Damn! And in one blink, Edward is gone, and I'm still pressed into a wall like a weirdo who likes walls too much. First trees, now walls, what is it with me and being kissed up against stuff. Can I never be lying down in these situations?

I make my way into the kitchen to start dinner as Dad comes in through the door.

Dad smiles when he see's me and I ask,

"How was your day?"

My heart is still racing like crazy.

"Good. The fish were biting... how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?" Dad replies as he packs away a few things.

"Just about" I lie. Pretty much all I did today was make out with my new boyfriend and come up with multiple sparkle puns.

As far as I'm concerned; day well spent.

...

"So, is there any reason why you decided to call me up, all frantic about going out on a Saturday night?" Beany asks me as we share a store bought tub of ice cream on the hood of Beany's car.

I don't know how to explain it, but I just had to get out of the house.

"Bella and I had a fight" I say tiredly.

I needed to talk to someone. And it couldn't be Edward because he's part of the problem.

Beany tilts his head to the side thoughtfully,

"What about? It must have been pretty bad if you actually felt the need to run away."

I shake my head, not knowing where to start. See, the thing is, when Bella got home tonight, I waited until JP left, and I made sure he was actually gone first, then I told Bella about the whole stalkery thing. And you know what, she didn't even give a shit. In fact, she was flattered. I mean, what the actual fuck, right. I just couldn't believe that she would so easily brush something like that aside.

We had a massive blow up about it, which ended in Bella shutting herself, loudly, into the bathroom. I was so angry and upset, that I just had to escape that house. It was too much, all of it. I was still reeling from what Edward said before. In fact I was still reeling from all the things he said today. I try my best to pretend like everything will be alright in the end, but I honestly don't know. I don't know if I can handle any of it for much longer.

I don't do emotions very well, I never have done. It's why I've always distanced myself in relationships. I juat can't allow myself to be vunerave with someone. Or at least I couldn't before, but now, with Edward...everthing is different. And it's so damn scary. The way he looks at me, like I'm the most extraordinry thing he's ever coe across. The way he makes me want to tell him all my secrets. The way he makes me want to know him, like I've never known anyone, and to be known just as deeply in return.

I never thought it would be possible. And yet here we are.

Then there's Bella. My emo twin. She pisses me off, a lot, and sometimes I just want to strangle her, but at the end of the day she is my sister, and I love her more than anyone else in my life. I can't stand the thought of JP putting her in danger simply by being around her. I know that's hypocritical of me because of my relationship with Edward. But I feel like that's different. Because I know how dangerous Edward is, I'm under no illusions about it, and if Edward ever did something that downright fucked up to me, then I would break up with him. I know when 'risky,' turns into  _no fucking way_.

But Bella clearly doesn't understand that, and that worries the living hell out of me. How can I trust her to look after herself if she's just gonna let JP get away with that kind of bullshit? And I can't very well ask Bella to stop seeing JP if I'm still dating Edward. She'd never go for it.

So I'm left with a dilemma, and no real way to solve it.

Therefore, I need a best friend. And ice cream.

"Bella and I disagreed on some behaviour issues regarding the Cullens" I try to sound vague, whilst still telling Beany the crux of my problem.

"What kind of behaviour issues?" He asks, sounding concerned, "They didn't hurt either of you, did they? Edward didn't do anything to you, right? Because if he did then I don't care how scary looking he is, I'd still kick his ass"

I can't decide if that's hilarious or sweet.

"It's not Edward, Beany, it's...well, lets just say JP's been doing something innapropriate, and Bella is acting like it doesn't matter. But it does matter, I promise you, it so definitely matters"

Beany moves closer to me and replies,

"But Bella won't listen to you"

"Nope, not at all"

"Then...as long as he's not hurting her...maybe you need to let it go"

I turn on him fiercley,

"What the hell do you mean? She's my _sister_ "

Beany wraps an arm around my shoulders,

"Sid, sometimes you've got to let the people you love make their own mistakes. It's the only way they'll learn."

I guess he has a point, but...

"What if she never learns? What if things get worse?"

Beany looks at me seriously for a moment, and then says, completely dead pan,

"Then we shall kill John-Paul and bury him at sea"

I let out a huffed laugh,

"Oh really, that's your first instinct, if at first you don't suceed, kill them all?"

Beany smiles down at me,

"Of course. We should get Edward in on it, he can help with convincing the family that John-Paul ran off with the Cirucus"

I scoff and shake my head,

"Beany, I think we need to discuss some aspects of murder. I don't believe you understand how it works. You're not meant to tell the victims family that you killed them, that's a big no-no"

Bean smirks evily at me,

"Yes, but Edward is so in luuurrrvvvve with you that he won't even care that you murdered is own twin brother"

I give Beany a look,

"Shut your face, gayboy...wait,hold on, speaking of gay, how are things with you and Mike, I thought you met up last night, anything new to report"

Beany shifts uncomfortably for a moment and then sighs. He digs out a massive chunk of ice cream and stuffs it into his mouth in that way only guys can do. Like a starving hippo.

When he finally swallows, Beany says sadly,

"Nah, same old, same old. He's afraid of coming out, so he ignores me at school just in case"

I screw up my nose at that,

"'Just in case', what, does he think gayness is some kind of giant glowing pink arrow that points at you if you hang around with other gay people?"

"Pretty much" Beany hangs his head, and my heart pangs with sympathy.

I squeeze his hand and say kindly,

"You're a really great guy, Beany. And of Mike can't see that then he's a massive twatwaffle."

Beany snort outs a strangled sounding laugh,

"Twatwaffle?"

I shrug,

"It's new, I'm just trying it out"

He thinks for a second, and then says,

"I like it."

I nod,

"Me too."

When our eyes meet, we burst out laughing, because it's all so fucking ridiculous.

"We are so messed up" I get out whilst still laughing uncontrollably.

Beany is snorting so hard that I'm afraid he might run out of oxygen,

"I know, right"

We end up led on the hood of Beany's car, laughing like lunatics up at the night sky, still sharing the big tub of ice cream,even though it's almost all liquid now.

I smile internally when I see a shooting star. Maybe things really will turn out alright. As long as I remember that I am Ever freakin' Swan, and I'm a snazztacular unicorn with a badass bat sidekick and a twtichy writers hand.

Come on life, hit me with your best shot!

Bring. It.  _ **On**_.


	15. The Cullens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

Beany and I end up falling asleep in the back seat of his car, which is pretty fucking ludirous since I usually can't sleep that easily even when I'm in a comfy bed. I figure I must have just been so exhausted from thinking about Bella and Edward and JmothereffingP. I swear, if I see that mofo today, I might just get my manly slap on and mark his stupid face. But then I'd probably need to slap him with a bulldozer for it to leave any lasting damage anyway.

Luckily I had the smarticles about me last night, because I called Dad to tell him I would be staying over at a friend's house. He assumed it was a girl. I did not correct him. Besides, Beany is basically a girl anyway. Not because he's gay mind you, but because he apparently reads Harlequin novels. I found four hidden on the floor in the back of his car.

It was a good thing I did call Dad to let him know where I was (sort of), because from the tone of his voice, I think he was about to send the CIA after me. Not that I have anything against the good PO PO, that's 'the police' in spaz-speak by the way, but I don't think they'd have appreciated me throwing Beany at them in defense. As much as I love Beany, I'm afraid he would be the first to be sacrificed in such an event.

Beany takes me back to his place, his parents are away so he has the run of the house.

"Those books aren't mine, Sid, let it go," Beany whines at me as we make our way up to his front door..

"Then why were they in your car?" I question him, waggling my eyebrows suggestively.

Beany scoff-sputters, and if you've never caused someone to do that, then I highly suggest giving it a go, because it's fucking hilarious.

"I don't know..." Beany trails off, "Someone must have put them there." He adds weakly.

I frown at my friend,

"Ah, right, the great Harlequin fairy took note of your romantic woes and thought she'd leave you a gift, I see."

Beany gives me an indignant look and sniffs,

"It was a fairy princess _actually_."

I slap a hand over my mouth,

"Oh my Jebus! You got to meet a fairy princess? No fair, I've been on her waiting list for years. Bitch owes me a meeting."

Beany opens up the front door of his pretty little cottage style house, and leads the way in through to the kitchen. It's a lovely home, and it truly seems like the kind of place a group of escapee fairies would live.

"Why does the fairy princess owe you a meeting?" Beany asks as he gets us both a bottle of water from the mammoth size fridge.

I take the offered bottle and reply,

"When I was six, one of my baby teeth fell out. I was, of course, excited to put it under my pillow and all that nonsense. But then Bella ate it and I-"

Beany just about spits his mouthful of water out all over the kitchen counter.

"Wait...wait," he manages to choke out, holding up his hand, "Bella...ate...your..your tooth. She  _ate_  your tooth."

I nod, not quite understanding what all the fuss is about,

"Yeah, she picked it up and crunched on it. Like a little beast crunching up the bones of her victims."

Beany makes a face,

"That image is very strangely morbid."

I take a swig from the bottle of water and then shrug at Beany,

"You shouldn't really say that, Beany. She was born with that face, there's nothing anyone can do about it."

Beany snorts out a laugh,

"Sid, you have the same face, remember."

I hold my hand out in front of me and say righteously,

"I refuse to believe that. Bella's too emo to look like me. I have the ability to smile. Emo children cannot smile. It burns them, like holy water burns the demons of hell."

"Did you just compare your sister to a demon of hell?" Beany asks, sounding vastly amused again.

I make a considering hand gesture, shaking it from side to side,

"Well, if the talons and evil mustache fit..."

"You got a problem with mustaches now?" Beany questions.

"Mustaches are evil, Beany, everyone knows that."

"I like mustaches."

"I'll be sure to let Goldy know exactly what you like, Beany."

"Do it and die, you mean little unicorn."

I burst out laughing and give Beany a 'friendly' punch to the arm. It's not like I actually want to talk about Beany's sex life. I don't even like talking about my own. Or thinking about it. Although I wonder what Edward could do with all that strength...

"Woah, stop right there, you better be thinking about Edward whilst making that face." Beany says, peering at me in abject horror.

I blink at him in surprise,

"What face?"

Beany pokes me on the nose,

"The  _lusty_  face."

I smirk at him and ask,

"Is that a quote from one of your sexy times novels?"

Beany starts sputtering again,

"Shut up, Sid!"

After another fit of laughter, Beany gets all snarly and says,

"You want to have a shower? I can stick your clothes in the washing machine for ya real quick."

I smile and nod at him,

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks Beany."

Beany goes to grab me a towel and shows me to the bathroom. He says,

"Just leave your clothes outside, there's a spare toothbrush under the sink if you want to use it."

I give Beany a kiss on the jaw and rush into the bathroom. I hate feeling all weird and sleepy in the morning, at least a shower will wake me up some.

I open the door up a crack and throw my clothes out. I use the spare toothbrush and then have a short shower, using a bit of Beany's shampoo and soap to wash my hair and body.

I come out feeling really refreshed and ready to take on the day. I also find myself missing Edward, which is a new feeling altogether.

Beany knocks on the door,

"I've left some clothes outside for you to wear whilst your real clothes are in the machine, ok."

Real clothes? As apposed to my fictional ones?

"Thanks Beany, you lovely little fairy princess, you."

"I'm not a fairy princess!" Beany calls through the door.

"LIES!"

"I do not own a wand!"

"It's ok if you rent one, I don't judge!"

"I do not have wings!"

"Oh no, do the other fairies make fun of you?"

"I do not sparkle!" Beany shouts.

I think I just about die laughing. Beany doesn't sparkle, but my boyfriend does.

"I'm gonna go now, and leave you to have whatever mental break down you're apparently having." Beany calls out to me. I barely hear him through my own laughter.

Eventually I calm down enough to open up the bathroom door and grab the clothes he left for me. I pull on the dark blue sleep shorts and oversized t-shirt. The t-shirt has a picture of the Batman logo on the front, and it reads  _'Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman._ '.

I'm really excited about this.

Step one: Find out where Beany got this t-shirt.

Step two: Ask Edward when his birthday is, because I've definitely forgotten.

Step three: Buy Batman t-shirt.

Step four: Present Batman t-shirt to Edward on his birthday and insist he wear it forever.

Once I'm dressed I look at phone and my face lights up with a smile against my will when I see a text from Ward.

**"Got any plans today oh so weird one?"**

I quickly text back,

**"Well, I was going to fight for world peace or something. But if you've got a better offer..."**

**"Pffft, world peace can wait, I was here first. Feel like meeting my family?"**

My heart jutters in my chest. He wants me to meet his family. Wow, that's a big step. HA, step!

**"I'd love to meet your people, Ward."**

**"Great. But there is some bad news."**

**"What bad news? Are they planning to eat me?"**

**"Much worse. John is bringing Bella home today as well."**

Fantastic.

**"Damn, I can't miss that show, I think she might just crap herself if Queen Bee glares at her in an enclosed space."**

**"Quite possible. But they've been told to behave whilst you and Bella are here, so hopefully Rosalie will keep the bitch face to a minimum."**

Ha, Edward said (typed?) bitch face.

**"You know you swear a lot for someone who was meant to be born during a time where people who swore got burnt as witches."**

**"Those weren't the rules, Ever."**

**"There were rules?"**

**"Yes, many, many rules."**

**"Did you ever burn a witch?"**

**"No. No I did not."**

**"Why? Bit of a witch sympathiser, were you?"**

**"I never met a witch I wanted to burn."**

**"Dark, Ward. Very dark."**

**"You asked."**

**"That I did. I take all the blame for that one."**

**"So, should I pick you up from your house?"**

**"Nah, I'm at Beany's, I'll text you the address."**

**"Beany's? Why are you over there so early?"**

**"I slept in Beany's car last night."**

**"Alone?"**

**"No, not alone. I didn't just rent out Beany's back seat."**

**"You slept with another man all night, and now you're at his house. Am I meant to be ok with that? Because I don't think I am."**

**"You don't have to be ok with it. But you know Beany doesn't really count."**

**"Alright fine, but why were you with him in the first place? Is something wrong?"**

**"I had a fight with Bella bop about your brother. I had to get away for a while."**

There's a long pause.

**"I still don't like it."**

**"You're pissed off?"**

**"No, just insanely jealous."**

**"Ward?"**

**"Yeah, alright, a bit pissed. But not because I think anything is going on. I'm annoyed that you didn't come to me when you were clearly upset about something"**

Now I'm really not sure what to say. I never meant to hurt Ward, or make him feel like I don't trust him. But, honestly, last night I needed to think clearly, and being around Edward makes my head as unclear as it could possibly be. I wanted drama-free, and that's what Beany is. He's a good friend, maybe even the first real best friend I've ever had.

But in the long run I would always choose to be around Edward. I care about him more than I could have imagined possible. He's special to me, and I don't want him thinking otherwise.

**"Look, we'll talk more seriously about this when you pick me up. I don't want to have this conversation by text, Ward."**

**"Neither do I. Just send me the address and I'll come for you."**

Right, good. Now I just have to make sure Edward's family don't end up thinking that I'm completely insane.

_Impossible._

Shut up brain!

It isn't impossible...it's just highly unlikely.

...

As soon as Edward pulls up outside the house, I grab my stuff and say a quick goodbye to Beany.

"Your super scary boyfriend isn't going to kick my ass, is he?" Beany asks as he follows me to the front door.

I roll my eyes at Beany,

"No..." Then I have to think about it for a moment, "Probably not. He's a very peace loving guy, really."

Beany crosses his arms and gives me a skeptical look,

"I think you're lying to me."

I make wavy motions in front of his face,

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The likes of you shall never know!"

Beany narrows his eyes at me,

"'The likes of me'? What is that supposed to mean?"

I pat him on the head and shrug,

"You'll understand someday."

"No I won't, you mad thing."

"Rude Beany, very rude, I hope you don't speak to your boyfriend this way-"

"Leave! Away with you!"

"I'm going, I'm going...God...I never knew fairy princesses could get so pissy," I say as I open the door and run out.

"I'M NOT A FAIRY PRINCESS!" Beany shouts after me, drawing some attention from neighbours. Damn.

I wave back at Beany enthusiastically. He flips me off. I mouth 'love you too'. Beany mouths back 'I know', and closes the door. With a bang.

When I reach Edward's car and meet is eyes through the window, the grin that splits open my face almost hurts because it's so big. He's so damn beautiful, and the way he looks at me, like I'm the most amazing thing he's ever seen in his entire life...it's a feeling I could easily become addicted to.

Edward rolls down the window and I lean against it, bringing our faces close together. Edward's eyes spark with life, and he smiles at me,

"Well, hello there, stranger, need a ride?"

I raise an eyebrow at him,

"Hmmm, I don't know, my momma told me never to take rides from strange men."

"That's good advice," Edward says with a solemn nod.

I smirk at him,

"Too bad I've never been one for taking good advice then."

Edward smirks back at me, and it's the kind of wicked sexy that has my stomach flipping like crazy.

"Kiss me, Ev's." Edward rumbles, his voice deep and liquid smooth.

My smirk widens and I challenge,

"Make me, stranger."

Edward's mouth is on mine before the words have even fully left my mouth. His lips are like silk, but he kisses me harshly. Edward's tongue pushes against my lips, and I open my mouth to let him inside willingly. A moan slips out, from somewhere deep, and Edward smirks against my lips. I bite down on them and suck his bottom lip between my own.

Ward reaches out a hand to wrap around the back of my neck, he pulls me closer with a firmness that thrills me. He makes a growling sound that says he wants to drag me through this window just so our bodies will have more contact. A fizzing sensation travel over my skin, and I begin to feel like a storm is brewing between us, and there's nothing we can do about it.

When we finally pull apart, if only a few inches, I'm breathing raggedly. Edward licks at my lips one last time, and his voice has steeped even lower, more intimate, when he whispers,

"I only have so much willpower,  _mina_ "

I almost ask what that means, but the heat between us is scorching, and I don't have the ability to say much of anything right now.

"Please get in the car," Edward adds, with a little more desperation in his tone now.

Edward's grip is tight and possessive, but when I go to pull away, he lets me. I avert my eyes from his, unable to handle such intensity this early in the morning. Plus, I think Edward really is close to losing it, and any more major contact could lead to something dangerous.

I go around and climb into the passenger seat of Felicity, taking in a few deep breaths one I'm sat down.

Edward and I sit in silence for a while as Edward begins driving. He sends a few side way looks at me, but I refuse to look up at him until I'm sure I can control my emotions. No one has ever made me feel as out of control as Edward.

"I feel like I'm on a cliff's edge, every moment we're together. But at the same time, I know you'd never let me fall." It takes me a moment to realise that I've said all that out loud.

Edward's eyes are wide, as he stares at me for a long moment. His eyes dart back to the road, and he clears his throat. Probably just to stall for more time, if anything. I know he's gearing up to ask me something.

"Is that why you couldn't talk to me last night? Because I make you feel...too much?" Edward's grip on the steering wheel tightens, and I wonder if it's because of anger, or something else.

I turn to watch his handsome face. I watch as his jaw tightens, the longer I don't answer.

"In some ways, yes. But in others...I had to talk to someone who was completely impartial to the situation. Beany is my friend, but he also has the ability to be subjective. I needed honesty, not just what you think I want to hear. But more than that, I didn't want to put you in a situation where you had to choose between your loyalty to me, and your loyalty to your brother."

Edward doesn't say anything for a long time, and I begin to question whether telling the truth was the right decision. Maybe I should have lied and told him it was just because Beany wanted to talk to me about Goldy anyway, and that's why I spoke to Beany about my worries, and not him.

But that would have felt fucked up, after everything we've shared so far. Also, I'm a lot of things, but I am  _not_  a liar. I don't mess with people's heads on purpose, that's not who I am, or who I ever want to be.

"I understand what you're saying," Edward says carefully, as of he's picked each word especially for this conversation, "But I want..no, I need you to be able to trust me. I love my brother, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with everything he does, like you don't agree with everything Bella does."

Who could ever agree with Bella? Twelve year olds? Nah, that's an insult to twelve year olds everywhere.

"I do trust you, Ward," I turn to him again and reach out to place my hand on his arm, "I was just trying to do what was best for everyone involved. I don't like the way your brother is with Bella, and I don't like that she's allowing him to treat her that way. But, now I see that it isn't my place to tell Bella how to live her life, or who to...love" the word tastes like ash on my tongue.

Edward actually snickers and says,

"My brother isn't all bad, you know. And he really does care for Bella."

"I know, that's what worries me. The two of them, in love? It's like watching a car crash in slow motion, loud and messy."

"That's actually a pretty apt description of it, yeah," Edward says, he slides a glance over at me, "If they're a slow motion car crash, then what the hell are we?"

I find myself smiling, and reply,

"We're the Titanic, babe, our destruction will be inevitable and devastating."

Edward smiles back at me, although it isn't a happy expression,

"I think that's more true than we know."

We ride in ominous silence all the way to Edward's home.

The Cullen home is almost exactly what I thought it would be. A mixture of modern and timeless mystic. The walls are white, and the structure appears solid and inviting. I can't say I hold much hope for the people inside to be the same way inclined.

"Great house, Ward, I'm impressed." I say to Edward as he parks out front.

Edward nods at me and replies,

"I thought you'd like it."

I wink at him and say,

"Come on then, lets go make your family love me."

Edward laughs and we both climb out of the car. He comes around my side to meet me, and I find myself almost pushed up against the Volvo, with Edward's body dangerously close to mine. He stares down into my eyes for a long time, neither of us speaking, just watching, waiting.

Ward reaches up to push a strand of my almost black hair behind my ear gently, his cool fingers causing me to shiver when they ghost over my cheek. He leans in close and says,

"You are so beautiful, that sometimes it hurts just to look at you."

"Then don't look," I say breathily.

Edward's lips quirk into a smile,

"I'm afraid not looking at you isn't an option. It would take a stronger man than me to resist watching you."

I open my mouth to respond, but just then I see JtyrannosaurusP and Bella the fanatical emosaurus pull up next to Felicity. Edward moves away from me, but not much. I straighten myself up, not willing to look even a little flushed in front of my sister.

Bella bop gives me a cold look, and I return it with an ironic smile. Fine, she wants to be pissed, thats ok, she'll get over it. She always does.

I refuse to acknowledge JP with anything more than a polite nod. I'm still fucking angry at him for watching Bella whilst she was sleeping without her knowing about it. I sleep in that room too god damn it. He better not do that when I'm there ever again, or he'll be getting some intimate face time with Kevin. By that I mean I'll be hitting the creepy shithead in the face.

Edward smiles kindly at Bella, and she blushes a little. I almost roll my eyes. There's no way this can go well with Bella in tow. But I don't react, because that would just make things worse. When Edward looks at his brother, his expression is noticeably cooler, and for a moment I wonder if they're speaking telepathically. Or maybe even arguing telepathically.

I decide not to think about what a mind fuck that is.

Eventually Edward and JP stop staring each other down, and we all make out way up to the Cullen's front door. Edward opens the door for me and he follows me inside.

The interior of the house is very bright, very open, and very large. This must have originally been several rooms, but the walls have obviously been removed from most of the first floor to create one wide space. The back, south-facing wall has been entirely replaced with glass, and, beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretches bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase dominates the west side of the room. The walls, the high-beamed ceiling, the wooden floors, and the thick carpets are all varying shades of white.

Pristine. Beautiful. Classic. Vampires.

I realise right away that Edward parents are waiting to greet us a little further into the main room. Dr. Sexbomb is as gorgeous as I remember, and I remind myself not to call him that out loud. Edward would not appreciate it at all.

At his side is a very, very attractive woman, and I assume she's Esme, because she's the only one I haven't seen before. Unless they have a crazy vampire aunt I'm not aware of.

They smile in a friendly manner, or as friendly as I suppose vampires can smile at strangers. But they make no move towards us, and I feel compelled to show them that I'm not afraid of what they are, or more importantly, what Edward is. Despite all my jokes, I really do want Edward's family to like me, and see that I care deeply for Edward.

I stride forward, planting myself in front of them. Edward is fast in coming up to my side, and I ignore Bella and JP, preferring to focus on my own first proper girlfriend meeting the parents moment.

I smile at them in what I hope is an openly inviting way,

"Hello, my name is Ever, it's lovely to meet you both properly."

I feel Edward's eyes on my face, but I don't take my own gaze away from his parents, who seem a little startled at my boldness. I can only hope they like that in a human.

"Don't worry, she won't bite," Edward jokes, as his parents seem more afraid of me right now than I am of them.

I worry that I've upset them, but then Edward reaches over to squeeze my hand, and Esme gives me a warmer smile than before. Carlisle is the one to speak first,  
"Welcome to our home, Ever. I see that you are as...courageous as I remember."

Esme smiles knowingly at her husband, and then looks back at me with something like a smirk on her face,  
"The word he used was 'fiery', and I believe it matches with what Edward has told us of you, Ever."

I think I like Esme, she seems like the kind of person you could trust easily.

JP moves forward with Bella, and I shuffle aside with Edward so that Bella bop can be introduced to the Cullen parents as well. Bella does her usual stutter and shyness routine. I suppose its endearing, if you like that sort of thing.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" Edward asks.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice calls from the top of the massive winding staircase. She comes rushing down like a fluffy cannonball of cuteness. I still believe firmly that Alice is some species of Pixie.

Carlisle and Esme shoot her a warning glance, but Alice ignores it. I smile to myself, Pixie is my kind of girl.

"Hi Ever!" Pixie says, and she bounds forward to kiss my cheek.

Woah, that's a lot of touching for someone I've spoken to only once. But just to be fair I throw my arms out and exclaim,

"Alice!" and go in for a hug.

I will not be outdone on the weirdness scale by a Pixie.

I hear Edward snort in surprised laughter, and Bella, I'm sure it's her, gasps from somewhere behind me. I don't even care, I shall hug anyone I please. If we can kiss, then we can hug, thems the rules.

Alice seems to think nothing strange of this, and hugs me back enthusiastically.

"You smell great, you know. I did wonder about it before."

I lean back and nod at her,

"You...have great hugging skills. Very enjoyable, thank you."

What are you even talking about brain?  _I don't know, I'm making it up as we go._

Pixie then moves in to kiss Bella, and JP tenses noticeably. Does he think Pixie will attack with her rainbow rage? Ha, rainbow rage, that sounds like the most polite way of saying someone is homophobic. I'll have to tell Beany about that one later, he'll love it.

When Pixie pulls back I see that Bella is blushing up a storm, obviously very embarrassed. I chuckle under my breathe, unable to help myself.

Moments later, Jasper moves into my line of sight and smiles at me,

"Hello Ever," He nods at my sister, "and Bella."

I arch an eyebrow at the almost standoffish air about him.

"What, no kiss from you? Why, Cracky, I'm hurt." I say, and almost immediately regret it. But then Pixie and Cracky both laugh, and I don't feel like such an idiot.

"You have a wonderful home," Bella says with a strained smile.

I nod in agreement and add,

"Thank you for inviting us over."

"You're welcome," Esme says, "We're very glad you could both come." I realise after a moment that she thinks we're brave for being here. I suppose in a way we are, although some might call it stupidity, not bravery. I mean, we've literally walked ourselves into the lions den. Well, the very polite lions den, but still, probably not the smartest thing I've ever done, no matter how much I trust Ward.

Bella and JP then get distracted by the grand piano and Edward steals me away, gesturing for Pixie and Cracky to come with us. They do so happily enough, as Cracky seems quite willing to do anything that makes Pixie smile. It's quite sweet, but not in a sickly annoying way. I figure they both must have been through a lot.

I smile at Esme and Carlisle as we pass them, and they grin back at me. Esme seem so pleased to see both her youngest boys with girls, that I'm pretty sure she'd marry us all off now if she could. I take not of that so I can tease Edward about it later.

The four of us end up in another room with comfortable chairs, and whist I throw myself down into one, the other three settle down gracefully. I have to hold in an amused smile at how painfully polite they are, even Ward. Although I do wonder aloud,

"Where's Queen Bee and Mr. Muscles?" I look around, as if they'll appear suddenly from the walls.

Cracky and Pixie exchange a look, and they send a questioning one at Edward, who rolls his eyes at them and says,

"Ever likes to nickname everyone, just go with it, please."

Cracky and Pixie give each other knowing smiles, and they shrug. Pixie answers my question though,

"Emmett and Rosalie are...speaking privately."

"Do they hate me? Is it because of my pluck? I hear some people dislike that in a human," I say, still amused.

"Rosalie doesn't hate you," Edward says, although that sounds like a lie, and I arch an eyebrow at him, "She just finds it hard to deal with two humans knowing about us. She wants what you have."

"A sidekick bat named Kevin? Well too bad, he's mine. I had to go through many a dangerous trial to earn his eternal service, she can get her own bat."

Edward tries to stiffle a laugh, and then he shakes his head. Pixie sits forward, looking interested,

"You have a sidekick bat?"

I nod at her with a grin,

"Of course, he is my weapon of choice in all battles."

Pixie laughs, a faint tinkling sound,

"You are funny, and strange."

Big words coming from a vampire Pixie.

"I am quite snazzy, I assure you."

"Rosalie wants to be human," Edward explains before I can say anything else, "She's always found it harder than the rest of us to be...what we are."

"You mean super sparkly vampy people?" I question with a small smirk aimed at Edward.

He smirks back at me once again and nods,

"Yes, us sparkly people."

"I think you'll find the correct term is glitterfiends," I remark. For goodness sake, don't vampy people even know what to call themselves.

Edward frowns at me,

"I am not calling myself that."

I cross my arms,

"Why not, it's very respectable."

"Because I am a vampire. A killing machine. Not a man covered in glitter," Edward says firmly.

I hold up a hand placatingly,

"Alright, alright, jeez, you don't have to be such a mudblood about it."

"Ev's!" Edward exclaims.

"Rock boy!" I exclaim right back.

Edward and I lock eyes and glare at each other. It's game time, people.

"Glitterfiend," I hear Pixie say, a smile in her voice, "I rather like that, don't you like it Jas?" she turns to Cracky.

Cracky nods thoughtfully and replies,

"Yes, very appropriate. It combines both the sparkly and evil side of being a vampire"

I throw my hands out toward Cracky and shout,

"That's exactly what I said!" I point at Edward, "Ha, see, I told you."

Edward shakes his head and looks beseechingly at Cracky and Pixie,

"Please do not encourage her, because she will never stop calling us glitterfiends at every opportunity."

I look at his siblings and shrug,

"He's got a point."

Pixie sits forward again and gives Edward a wonder filled look,

"Have you told her about my vision?"

Edward groans and runs a hand over his face. I sit up, excited,

"Oh, oh, there's been vision! Tell me, tell me, tell me now!"

"Alice has just seen some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're apparently curious." Edward explains, shooting Pixie a pouty look.

Pixie merely smiles serenely at her brother. Yeah, I'm digging the Pixie.

Wait, hold up a sec..

"When you say visitors, I'm guessing you don't mean aliens." Although that would be so cool. I still want my spaceship.

Edward shakes his head warily,

"No, they're like us. Except not, because..."

"They chow down on humany types like myself, huh."

"Pretty much, yes," Edward admits, his eyes are bright and fierce when he looks at me, "Which is why I'll be a bit...over-protective until they're gone."

I sit back and regard Edward for a while, and then say,

"Hmmm, if you like we could get walkie talkies. But I draw the line at you coming with me to the bathroom. There are some things that should remain a mystery in a relationship."

"I'm serious Ever, I won't let you out of my sight until I'm sure you're safe from any rogue vampires," Edward says, and his tone tells me just how serious he really is.

I sit forward, closer to Edward,

"I understand." That doesn't mean I have to like it. But there are worse things than having a protective boyfriend. Much worse things.

But then, that's in the past, and I'd hate to ruin this day by thinking about...all of the...unpleasantness in my life.

_That isn't who you are anymore._

_You're stronger now. Better. You know better, at least._

_Remember, remember, the life that you knew before. Before. Before. Before._

_We open our hearts so freely,_   
_We surrender our all,_   
_But when the bruises show,_   
_We pretend it's just a fall._

_Fall. Fall. Fall._

_Remember. Remember. Remember._

I push it away, like I always do, with the strength I know is inside me.

"I understand." I repeat, and Ward smiles. He takes my hand in his and intertwines our fingers, drawing me into the passion and care and trust in his eyes. I feel it all around me. And it brings peace, and brilliance and excitement, and...freedom.


	16. Carlisle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

Edward's room is the only one on the ground floor, and it overlooks the woods beatifically. I lay next to him on his pretty much useless bed. He doesn't sleep, why does he need a bed? Come to think of it, why do any of the Cullen's need a bed? To sit and lie down on I suppose. I wonder what it would be like to never sleep again. To never dream again.

I know I'd hate it, that's for sure. I like to sleep, and I like even more to dream. Some of my best stories have come to me whilst I was sleeping.

Edward is telling me about when Carlisle first became a vampire. And all the pain and terror that goes along with that.

"When he knew what he had become," Edward almost whispers, "he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself.

"Destroy himself? Bit on the dramatic side, but alright. How easy is it exactly to 'destroy' a vampire? You know, just for future reference."

I think again of the vision Alice apparently saw. Will I have to pull a Buffy and kick some vampire ass? I hope not. I'm ok about dating a vampire, but I'm not quite ready to kill one. Not that I could anyway, even if I did want to. It would be like me getting into a pissing contest with a mountain.

Mountains know how to smack a bitch.

_I believe you're thinking of Volcanoes. Ohhhhh, Brad Pitt!_

SHUT UP inside my head voice!

"We are...very difficult to kill. There are not many ways we can 'die'." Edward answer darkly, and I know he's about to drift off into that nasty place inside his head where he thinks he's a monster and hates himself for it.

"How did Carlisle try to off himself, then?" I ask, more to distract Edward than anything else.

"He jumped from great heights," Edward says, his face set in grim determination, "He tried to drown himself in the ocean... but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist... feeding... while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."

I raise an eyebrow at Edward,

"Is that something you can actually do?"

"No. We cannot die that way, although it becomes extremely uncomfortable and painful after a while." Edward explains plainly, without any emotion in his voice, "One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again."

"Carlisle was the one who changed you, though, right?" I ask, remembering pervious conversation we've had about Edward's vampirism.

Edward nods solemnly,

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act - since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try..."

Edward trails off, and his eyes seem to go vacant. It's a strangely haunting look on his beautiful face. If I didn't know what he is then I might think he was dead. He's so still, so passive, so frustratingly cool and collected. But never relaxed. Even now, I can feel the tension in his body. He's like a taut bow, ready to let loose.

At first I thought it was being so close to me, because that's what always seemed to be the cause of it before. But now that I know him better, I'm coming to the realisation that Edward is always tense. It makes me wonder how close he is to edge every single day.

I also wonder if Edward would choose to die. If he could go back and stop Carlisle from turning him into a vampire, would he? If Carlisle had asked him what he wanted, and told Edward everything about being a vampire, the good and the bad and the terrible, what would Edward have chosen?

It's those questions that plague me right now, because every way I look at it, there is no way this can end well. What we have between us, I mean. Edward will always be a vampire, and I will always be human, and no matter what choices we both make from here on out, those two facts will forever be a reason for us not to be together.

I can't even promise him that I won't ever want to break up for that one reason, because I honestly don't know what I'll feel in the future. Not that anybody really does. But this is different, it's more, it's a tragic situation that can only become more painful and more tragic the longer it is allowed to escalate.

I want to tell Edward all these things, but I also don't want to hurt him, because God, the man's been through enough as it is. Plus, I think he already knows. I think he knew it before I did.

"I suppose you could say that we've come full circle," Edward says finally, looking down at me, with eyes that say he can read me, even though I know he can't.

"But you didn't always stay with Carlisle, you went rogue for a while." I say, more to myself than to him.

"Yes I did. It was a dark time for me."

I smile sadly at him, reaching out to trail a hand over his chest. My mind flutters like the wings of a butterfly, and I say,

"Everybody has dark times."

_**Remember.** _

...

"I want to meet her."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because she'll eat you."

"Very rude. What if I bring a rabbit as a peace offering?"

"She'll eat you and the rabbit."

"Woah, greedy much."

"You're not meeting her until she agrees not to hurt you," Edward says with a stern look on his face. It's cute, like he really thinks his pouty face scares me. So silly.

I wave a dismissive hand,

"Well that'll never happen."

"Then you'll never meet her." Edward says, finality in voice.

I cross my arms and fix him with a level stare,

"Don't make me do this, Ward."

Edward narrows his eyes at me,

"Do what?"

I pause for a long moment, deciding what way to play this. On the one hand I know what he's saying makes sense. Rosalie does appear to hate both myself and Bella, simply based on the fact that we are alarmingly human. She could kill me, and she probably wouldn't feel bad about it either.

But then, I refuse to be beaten and dismissed. Queen Bee's gonna have to learn to love me, just like everyone else. Now, I don't have time to go and retrieve Kevin, just in case this turns into a showdown, but I do have my wit. And a pencil. I don't wanna brag, but I can be pretty badass with a pencil, its like a mini Kevin when I wield that bitch.

Anyway...

"I need the bathroom." I say suddenly. I decide that stealth mode is the best option here.

Edward blinks rapidly in surprise, and then eyes me warily,

"Why?"

He sounds suspicious.

I scoff loudly,

"Why do you think genius? What do humans normally do in bathrooms?"

He counters with,

"Since when do you do anything normally?"

Damn, he's got me.

"Since just right this minute, actually, Senior sparkles. I must pee, Ward. Now tell me where your toiletry area is so I can...do stuff."

"I do not trust you to go to the bathroom." Edward says, his eyes still focused on me.

I slap my hands against my sides and say,

"You know Ward, if this relationship is going to work, then you can't constantly be questioning your trust in me. It's sad and very hurtful."

Edward sighs in exasperation and says,

"Fine. It's upstairs and four doors down on the right."

I mentally fist pump the air. Hells yes.

I jump up from the bed and kiss Edward lightly on the chin before making my way upstairs. I half expect him to follow me, but he doesn't, for which I am eternally grateful. Two finger kiss to Pixar!

Bella and JP left a few hours ago. I'm pretty sure they fled into the woods. I've just been hanging out in Edward's room, listening to music whilst lying next to him on his bed. It's been nice, and comfortable. The Cullen house is strangely calming. In a nice way.

I race upstairs and completely bypass the bathroom, giving it no more than a cursory glance. Now I don't know exactly which room Rosalie is in, so I'll just have to check them all. Yes brain, good idea.

It takes three tries before I finally find her. She's lying down on a big bed that looks to be covered in a silk sheet. She's as stunningly gorgeous as I remember. Seriously, if I did girls, then I'd be all over that. But alas I'm stuck with this boring attraction to males. And Edward, whatever he is.

Ah, life.

Rosalie looks up and glares at me, like full frontal glaring that would take a lesser human down a few pegs on the food chain from sheer fear alone.

"What are _**you**_ doing up here?" she snaps at me.

I quickly dart into the room and close the door behind me, hoping that Edward isn't spying on me using his super vampy hearing. Because that would so be cheating.

"I've come to say hello." I reply with a flourish of my hand.

Rosalie sits up on her bed and her glare twists into confusion. Although the anger is still definitely there too.

"Are you an idiot?"

"No," I answer on instinct, I mean who pauses at a question like that. If you have to pause and think about it when someone asks you if you're stupid, then you're stupid. Mystery solved.

"Go away." Rosalie stares me down, and I stare unflinchingly right back.

"No can do, I'm afraid, I was thinking we could talk and bond and so forth," I explain whilst moving closer to Rosalie. There's a good chance I'm about to die.

"Are you mentally deranged?" Rosalie asks me, sounding both shocked and appalled.

I flip my hand form side to side,

"That's a question I try not to dwell on to be honest."

"Who's are you anyway?" Rosalie says with a dramatic huff.

I'm not sure what she means by that at first, but then I get it and answer,

"I'm not anybody's. But Edward is my boyfriend."

"He did say you were mad." Rosalie mutters, her eyes narrowing in on me.

I frown slightly and ask,

"Should I be offended?"

"Only if it isn't true," Rosalie answers with a mean smirk.

"I suppose that's really a matter of opinion then," I mutter, mostly to myself.

"I could kill you, you know, we all could. You're just a weak little human." Rosalie says snidely, she looks me up and down with distaste.

I place a hand over my heart and pretend to be wounded,

"Oh...oh...hit...I've been hit...oh will this pain never cease!"

"Don't you dare!" Rosalie all but screams at me as I fake stumble over to her bed and flop down onto it.

I spread myself out wide and look over at Rosalie, wiggling around a little bit to get comfy,

"This is a nice bed," I say to her outraged face, "But silk? Really? Who are you, one of James Bond's girlfriends? The Pope?"

I bet the Pope has silk sheets. Bleegh, now I just imagined the Pope sleeping naked in silk sheets and giving me the 'come hither' look. I blame Beany for damaging my mind with his damn romance novels. God damn fairy princess.

"Get off of my bed before I kill you!...and silk is very classy, not that you'd know anything about that." Rosalie all but snarls at me.

I snort at her,

"I just said the Pope. The Pope is classy. He wears a cape, what's not classy about that?."

Rosalie gives me a dirty look and snaps back,

"It's a robe, you moron."

"No, it's definitely a bed," I say, looking pointedly down at her bed sheets, "I'm pretty sure anyway."

"I meant the Pope wears a robe, not a cape," Rosalie rolls her eyes in annoyance at me, but she seem to be relenting, if ever so slightly.

"I think you're getting the Pope confused with Harry Potter."

Outrage is back.

"The Pope does not wear a cape!"

"Batman wears a cape!"

"What does Batman have to do with anything?"

"When does Batman ever not have something to do with everything?"

"That makes absolutely no sense!"

"I am Batman!"

Yay, this is fun.

Rosalie shakes her head, as if she can't believe she's actually having this conversation with me right now.

"Who the hell is Harry Potter?"

Woah, hold up!

"You haven't read, watched or even heard of Harry Potter? Do you live under a rock?"

Hahahahahahahahaha! ROCK PEOPLE!

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rosalie gives me look like she thinks I'm truly bonkers, and she's probably right.

"Do you have a laptop or computer?" I ask her.

Rosalie is still giving me evils when she answers,

"Yes, on my desk," she points at a pink laptop on a glass desk. I was too busy being awesome before to notice it.

Score!

"TO THE INTERNET!" I exclaim, shooting up from Rosalie's bed and moving over to grab up her laptop. I bring it back to the bed quickly and open it up.

Rosalie watches me with a look of abject horror and fascination,

"What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna show you Harry Potter, you must be educated." I reply, "What's your password?"

"Give me my laptop, you crazy...thing!"

Thing? THING!

Eh, I've been called worse. By my own sister.

I hand her the laptop and, to my ever lasting surprise, she actually taps in the password and hands it back to me. She raises an eyebrow and says,

"Well if you're not going to leave, then at least do something useful."

I give her the thumbs up and click on Google, waiting until the search engine comes up, and then typing in 'Harry Potter'. I move closer to Rosalie so I can show her.

After a few very long seconds Rosalie frowns, and says,

"So Harry Potter is a Wizard?"

"No he's THE Wizard. The chosen one, and all that shit."

Rosalie opens her mouth to reply when suddenly her head snaps up towards the door, and just a fewq seconds later it bangs open. I blink stupidly at Edward as he stares at us.

"What in the world are you doing?" he says. I'm not sure which one of us he's talking to, because his eyes seem to be skating between us rapidly. He'll make himself dizzy if he keeps doing that. I almost say it out loud, but I'm pretty sure he's already pissed off enough as it is.

Rosalie rolls her eyes and drawls,

"Calm down, Edward. I haven't killed her." Yet. The suggestion of 'yet' is very clear in her voice, although I think she's saying it more for Edward's sake than for mine.

Edward gives Rosalie a look of death, but doesn't reply. He then glances over at me, and his expression causes me to freeze in place. Uh oh.

"This isn't the bathroom." Edward says bitingly.

I look around in mock surprise,

"Oh no! It isn't? I thought it looked a bit...bedroomy."

Bedroomy? What? Well that definitely didn't make the Microsoft Word dictionary.

"Your girlfriend is really weird," Rosalie says to Edward seriously.

Edward sighs, and pinches the bridge of his noise, merely saying,

"I know."

...

Edward frog marches me out of Rosalie's room. Ok, not exactly, but that's what it feels like.

"I was making progress," I say to him when we're a safe distance away.

Edward loops an arm around my shoulders and tugs me against him. My body reacts to his closeness very much against my will.

"I understand your need to charm everyone you meet, but I promise you, Rosalie is...uncharmable."

I poke him in the side,

"That's not a word."

"Yes it is," he says simply in that voice he knows I hate. It's the voice that makes it sound like he's smarter and better than me.

Which of course we all know is a complete bucket of crystallised bullshit.

"No, it's _not_." I reply stubbornly.

"Yes, it _is_." Edward says, equally as stubborn.

"I dare you to find it in any dictionary or thesaurus in the world." I challenge him.

"Big words coming from the girl who came up with 'snazzy' and 'bedroomy'," Edward says in amusement.

"If you find it then I shall eat my hat!" I say in a British accent.

"You don't have a hat!" Edward exclaims in an over the top Boston accent.

"I HAVE ALL THE HATS!"

"A TIARA IS NOT A HAT!"

"IF IT COMES OUT OF A CRACKER IT IS!"

Suddenly a door opens to our right and I see Carlisle standing there, looking at us strangely, he asks,

"Why are you arguing about a hat?"

I look up at Edward in confusion,

"We were arguing about a hat?"

Edward shrugs, looking perplexed,

"I don't know."

That can't be good.

"Come on in," Carlisle invites, standing back from the door way so that we can pass.

I follow Edward into a room that looks like an office, it's very attractive and clean looking. I can imagine getting some good writing done in here if I wanted someplace quiet to be alone.

I notice Esme sitting in one of the big ornate chairs, and I smile at her on instinct. She smiles back, and there's something in that smile, a strange _knowing_ that I don't quite understand.

"What is it we can help you both with?" Carlisle asks pleasantly.

"Nothing really," Edward says as he sits down on a brown leather sofa. I sit down next him, and he takes my hand, intertwining our fingers.

"He was just stealing me away from Queen B," I smile serenely at Edward, "Ward doesn't like to share."

Edward glares at me, but it's more of a playful glare than serious,

"I'm not a child, I share just fine."

I try not to laugh. I really do.

"Then why can't I make friends?"

"You can make friends with anyone you want. Apart from Rosalie. She doesn't do friends."

"Until now!" I announce.

"Rosalie doesn't even do people, let alone friends," Edward says, rolling his eyes.

I pffftt at him,

"Oh yeah, because you're Mr. Sociable."

"I like people," he defends himself.

I eye him suspiciously,

"What people?"

"Lots of people."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"I want names."

"Ever Swan."

"Don't be ridiculous, we all know _I'm_ not a person!"

We both stop shouting at each other about...whatever it was, when we hear Esme and Carlisle begin to laugh. Like full on laughter. I didn't even know vampires could laugh like that.

It's odd.

Like watching a dolphin smoke, or something.

"You really are something else, Ever," Esme says to me, "I never thought I'd see the day when Edward would argue so much with someone."

And that's a good thing...because...

"He's showing so much emotion, more than I've ever seen from him before," Esme adds with an adoring look at Edward.

Ward is looking down at our joint hands, his face is set in an expression I know well. It's his 'embarrassed' face. I realise then that, despite Edward being an over one hundred year old vampire, he still has the ability to be embarrassed by his parents

I find that really endearing for some strange reason.

I slide a hand behind Edward's head, stroking along his nape with soft touches. He glances over at me, a gentle smile on his face.

"Guess I'm just that special." I joke, smiling back at Edward.

Ward reaches out to tuck a stray bit of my almost black hair behind my ear, his touch making me shiver, even in front of Carlisle and Esme. His eyes are intense, and completely focused on me,

"Special doesn't even begin to describe all the ways in which you are extraordinary."

Usually I'd feel awkward about him saying something like that, especially in front of other people. But right now I really don't care, because the look in Edward's eyes is telling me so many things. My heart and mind seem to meld together in that one moment, because right then, for those few seconds, I imagine what it would be like to be in love with Edward Cullen.

Just. For. A. Moment.

...

I have the first panic attack I've had in almost a year that night.

It starts off slow, like it always does. My chest tightens, and I tell myself to breathe.

Just breathe.

But I can't.

I'm drowning.

That's the only way I can think of to describe it. If you've never had a panic attack before, then it's kind of impossible for you to really understand how it feels. There's nothing in the world quite like it.

Drowning. I can see the surface of the sea, but it's too far away. I can't reach it. I don't even have the strength to try.

I tell myself this can't be happening. It just can't.

But it is.

I thought I was over this, I thought I was better now. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want it to be over. Gone. Finished.

I remember the first time I had one of my panic attacks. I shouldn't really, because I was only six years old, but I do. I don't think I could ever forget it.

My hand starts to twitch violently and I realise then that I haven't had the chance to write in days. That must be part of the reason why this is happening. But that's not all it is, I can admit that to myself now, even though I can no longer breathe.

A week before my first panic attack, I learned in school that the safest place to be during an earthquake, is the bathtub.

I throw myself off my bed and stumble, gasping wildly, my eyes hurting from the hot tears streaming from them. I make my way to the bathroom, almost slipping and falling over about five times before I get there.

When I finally do, it feels like I've been given a float. It's not enough to stop me from drowning, but it's enough to keep me from being dragged any further down by the strength of the sea.

I climb hazardly into the bathtub and curl up inside it. I'm still gasping, still trying desperately to pull oxygen into my lungs. But I can't and it hurts. It hurts so ** _fucking bad,_** and my head is starting feel heavy and dark with murk.

My heart is bursting and and I want to fucking scream, but I can't because I still. Can. Not. Breathe.

_Remember. Remember. Remember._

**Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.**

I'm drowning.

I'm so lost. My world is dark, and I want to die.

 _Remember_. But I don't want to.

 **Breathe**. But I can't.

"Ever," I hear someone call my name, but it sounds too far away, like at the other end of a tunnel.

"Oh..no no, Ever, no, not the bathtub! Not again!" I flinch away from the hand that lands on my bare shoulder, and dimly I am aware that Bella is kneeling next to the bath, a frantic look in her eyes.

"Please, just breathe, you can do this, remember what Dr. Lucky said, just take in one breathe at a time."

Oh, not Dr. Lucky, that bastard. He said I didn't have to be this way. He said I was cured. He said I wasn't crazy. He promised I was better.

But I'm not. I'm lost and scared and drowning, and it's all my own fault.

My fault for thinking I could go on like nothing had ever happened. My fault for pretending I'm not a complete freak. My fault for thinking I could date Edward and never feel this way. My fault for letting myself fall into the abyss just because the thought of loving someone scares the shit out of me.

My fault for thinking I could ever be part of the real world.

I am lost. I am drowning.

Just... _.breathe_.


	17. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

I suppose you feel like I've been lying to you. That I've misrepresented myself as this carefree Unicorn-like creature who finds the whole world amusing.

In a way, I have been lying. Although, if I'm being honest, I've been lying more to myself than to you.

But I am sorry.

I never wanted it to be this way.

You probably want to know why. You probably want me to lay out my whole sordid and fucked up past just like that. Well, you're going to be disappointed. This is _my_ story, so we'll play by _my_ rules.

One day I'll tell you everything. One day you'll understand why I never wanted to tell you in the first place. One day you'll know the main reasons why I have panic attacks. But not now. Not today.

All I'm willing to give you now is that I understand how it feels to lose control of everything in my life. I know how it feels to be truly broken by one of the people I should have been able to trust the most.

I know how to drown, and I know how easy it is to lose the ability to breathe when faced with pain and fear so great that it tares your whole world apart from the inside.

But like I said, this is my story, so I'll tell it in whatever order I damn well please. Respect the unicorn! I know my rights!

Sort of.

Does anyone actually know their rights as an American citizen? Like is there a point in anyone's life where they're like, 'I better read up on some American law shiz nit so I can better understand my rights'. Who does that? And can you just google it, or is there a special place you can go to find out. Is there a helpline? There should definitely be a random question hotline for sure. Although they'd probably just get bombarded with pointless questions like,

'Do penguins have knees?'

(Seriously though, do they? Can penguins even kneel, or squat? Fucking hell, penguins might be squatless. How weirdly sad.)

'If all the world's a stage, then where do the audience sit?'

(Deal with that one Shakespeare you bearded oaf. You can take your quill and shove it up your ass. Sorry, Romeo and Juliet flashback. In my defence, if Romeo didn't want to be pushed off that balcony then he should have kept his hands to himself.)

'What if Batman gets bitten by a vampire?'

(I mean like a proper vampire who turns into a bat, not Edward's stupid sparkly kind.)

Actually, speaking Edward, I should really try not to have a mini break down every time I contemplate having deep feelings for him. Although my throat does threaten to close up every time I think of the 'L' word in regards to him.

I'm terrified of him seeing me lose it. The fact that I need the bathtub to make me feel safe sometimes isn't something I'd exactly like to advertise. There are only two people in the whole world who have ever seen me like that properly. I even managed to hide the worst of it from Mom, although I did plenty of other things to earn me a trip to the crazy ward. Don't ask, all in good time I swear.

I only let Bella see because she's already an emo enthusiast, and she's annoyingly persistent in her own wacky and depressing way. It's almost funny really, because whilst she's emoing out because of my issues, I'm fucking destroying myself for the sake of...well, real life.

God knows sometimes I wish I was just some normal little twit like Chatty. Although in actuality I don't think I could handle that much bitchiness going on inside my own head. It must be like Narnia up in there. Whereas my mind is more of the Wonderland persuasion. Bella's must be kind of like Winnie the Pooh gone dark side.

Winnie the Pooh would make a good Joker, I feel.

In regards to who else knows about my panic attacks and subsequent literal craziness...I think I'll leave that one for a bit later as well. Sorry.

I'm sitting at my desk writing like my life depends on it when there's a knock at the door. Bella is out somewhere with JwackworthP, and Dad has gone fishing again. Edward's been texting me since he dropped me off home yesterday, and I've been avoiding texting him back by pretending to have other things to do. It's not that I feel like Edward would be turned off by my...problems, it's just that I don't want to have to admit I have any yet.

Maybe someday I'll tell him. But I have to be able to think about it to myself first, and that's not happening for a while yet.

I'll talk to Edward when I'm ready, and either he'll understand why I need to process how I feel about him at my own pace, or he...won't. Either way I'll know how far I can trust him. That'll be a start. I hope. I just need to get my own thoughts in order first, because I don't want to confuse or hurt him. Not after how gentle and understanding he's been with me so far.

I shove myself forceably away from my desk and the story I've been working on all morning, and scramble down the stairs to answer the door. Today I'm wearing an old favourite t-shirt of mine, it's grey and has the words 'If you fall, I'll be there- Floor' printed on it in black spindly lettering. I have a bit of a headache, I always do after a big attack.

It makes me sad an angry that I've allowed myself to get back to this point. But it can't be helped, what's done is done, and that's the end of it. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself so I can function properly.

When I see that it's Billy and Bambi at the door, a smile spreads over my face. I have been missing Bambi, the complete weirdo.

I open the door and say,

"Hi guys, my Dad's gone out, but you can come in out the rain if you like," I move back to let them move inside out of the lovely wet weather.

"Thank you, Ever," Billy says as he rolls in over the threshold, he holds up a paper bag, "I just wanted to give this to Charlie."

I meet Bambi's eye as I take the bag with a nod. Bambi smirks at me, and I wink at him, causing him to blush. Ha! He blushes surprisingly easily for a guy with his skin tone. It's actually kind of endearing.

"You'll want to put that in the fridge," Billy says to me, indicating at the heavy brown bag.

I hold the bag out in front of me like it contains a bomb and peer at Billy mock suspiciously,

"Why? What's in the bag? Or do I even want to know?"

Bambi chokes on a laugh, and Billy chuckles as he answers,

"Don't worry, it's just some of Harry Clearwater's homemade fish fry - Charlie's favorite. The fridge keeps it drier. Nothing nefarious, I promise."

I crack a small smile,

"Hmm, I don't know...it looks pretty dodgy to me. I might have to ring the SWAT team and get them to take a look."

"Aww, no, not the Special Winning Attitude Team!" Bambi says with a dramatic shudder.

I scoff at him and say,

"I think you'll find that it's the Sticks With Ass-kicking Tactics."

"Oh no, no, no," Bambi says shaking his head at me, "It's the Sexy without Actually Trying team."

I burst out laughing at that one, and Bambi laughs along with me as Billy looks between us appearing bewildered. I don't really blame him this time.

I gesture for them to follow me into the kitchen as I put the fish-fry away. I can tell this isn't just a social fish visit by the way Billy is watching me. Wow, that sounded wrong even to me, and that's really saying something. I should put it out there that I don't normally have general fish based meetings with people. Although it does sound like some kind of weird euphemism.

Best I not bring that up with both Billy and Bambi present. I might if it was just Bambi. In fact, maybe I'll save that one for later. I should really get his number. For more than one reason.

"Jake," Billy says suddenly, "Why don't you go get that new picture of Rebecca out of the car? I'll leave that for Charlie, too."

Bambi seems to shift uncomfortably for a moment, but asks,

"Where is it?"

"I think I saw it in the trunk," Billy replies steadily, "You may have to dig for it."

I catch Bambi's eye, and he gives me an apologetic look. Ah, so I'm about to get lectured, Brilliant. Just what I need right now another opinion to go along with the billion other ones flying around inside my head.

Bambi keeps watching me, like he'll stay if I need him to. I give him a slight nod, trying to convey 'I'm fine' with my eyes, even though I don't really feel it. Bambi gives me a surprisingly knowing look, like he knows I'm full of shit, but is willing to play along anyway. He reluctantly leaves me alone with Billy.

I suppose this conversation had to happen eventually. I was just hoping for later rather than sooner.

Billy and I wait in silence for a while, both of us just looking at each other. It's a really weird moment, and I'm not sure how to end it without actually snapping at Billy, which is something I don't want to do. I know how it must look to him from the outside. Edward and I, I mean. He can't possibly know about all the moments of real intimacy we've had together, and the amount of secrets we've shared, and how safe Ward makes me feel.

All he can see is someone he thinks is a monster seducing a young girl who happens to be his best friend's daughter. I'd probably be freaked out too if it was the other way around. I feel quite similarly about Bella and JP if I'm honest. I would suggest Billy having this conversation with her, but I don't think it'd do any good. In fact it would probably just drive her idiotic ass even further into JP's grasp.

Or whatever.

Finally, after a world class staring contest, Billy says,

"Look, Ever, Charlie is one of my best friend's."

"Only one of? How many are there?" I find myself saying in a scandalised tone.

Wow, who knew Billy was a best friend whore. I hope Charlie doesn't find out he's being friend-cheated on. If that's even a thing. I like to believe it is.

Billy looks shocked for a moment and mumbles,

"Not _that_ many."

"Well that wasn't very convincing at _all._ I certainly hope you're better at lying to your supposed best friend's about their status than you are at lying to me."

Billy eyes me warily,

"This is serious Ever. I noticed you've been spending time with one of the Cullens."

Oh, here we go.

"Actually I've been spending a lot of time with _Edward_ Cullen, the rest of them I've only spoken to a couple of times," I say with a shrug, all of which is true. If we're doing this then we might as well get the facts straight.

"In any case, you probably don't know this, but the Cullen family has an unpleasant reputation on the reservation." Billy says, watching me intently.

I shrug again and reply,

"I did know that. I know a lot about how things are between the reservation lot and the Cullens." Sort of. But I can guess pretty damn well.

"Does Charlie know any of things that you apparently know?" Billy asks me, suddenly looking a bit alarmed.

I shake my head quickly,

"Nah, I thought it better not to give my Dad a heart attack by telling him such things." And a lot of other things that have nothing to do with vampires.

I can hear the rain outside, hitting the roof and running down in rivets over the tiles. I suddenly want very badly to be outside, in the cool heavy rain. I want to let it wash over me and take the bad thoughts away. I want to feel the cold perfect wetness run all over my body and cause my lips to turn blue and my heart to slow to a more calming pace. I missed the rain for years whilst I was in Phoenix, it's one of my favourite things about Forks.

"I suppose you think it's none of business," Billy says, distracting me from thoughts of the rain for a few moments.

I sigh tiredly and scrub at my eyes,

"You suppose right. But I'm not going to argue with you about it. All I can say is that I know what I'm doing, whether you trust me or not is your choice. But I think it would be best not to tell my Dad the whole truth. Not yet at least." Hopefully not ever.

Billy sighs too and his shoulders slump,

"I think I'll have to trust you, and your sister, to make up your own minds."

"Oh, well I wouldn't go that far, Bella might still need a few knocks to the head. But I can handle that too." I say, with more confidence in my voice than I probably have any right to feel.

Billy nods gravely, and I wonder if he knows I'm just barely hanging onto my sanity by a very thin thread. For some reason I'm more afraid of him telling Charlie about that than I am about Charlie knowing vampires are dating his daughters.

Suddenly the door bangs open again and a sopping wet Bambi comes trudging into the room. He sends Billy a hard look and says,

"I've looked everywhere, there's no picture in that car."

I almost want to laugh, because right now Bambi looks just like a giant drowned cat. Or maybe that should be a drowned dog. His long black hair drips puddles onto the kitchen floor and I rush to grab him a tea towel so he can dry off a bit.

Bambi takes the towel from me gratefully and attempts, most likely in vain, to dry himself.

"Hmmm," Billy ponders, scratching his chin, "I must have left it at home."

I stifle my snickering as Bambi rolls his eyes and mutters,

"Oh, right, sure. That's great."

"Well, Ever, tell Charlie-" Billy begins, just as a voice from the door calls out,

"Ever, I'm home! The fish just aren't biting today."

A moment later Charlie comes in, carrying all his fishing gear. He smiles in surprise when he see's Billy and they begin talking about...fish...I think.

In the meantime I grab hold of Bambi's hand and pull him out the kitchen. He follows without question. Nice, obedient, I like that in a friend.

"Hey Dad, Bam-I mean Jacob got really wet, I'm gonna give him a proper towel, ok," I call back over my shoulder and without waiting for a response I practically manhandle Bambi upstairs. Mostly just to get away from Billy's intense judgemental eyes.

I take Bambi to my room, stopping first to snatch a towel from the bathroom. When I've closed the bedroom door, I go to sit down on my desk chair, gesturing for Bambi to take a seat on the bed/floor/ceiling. Wherever he feels most comfortable.

"You know if you wanted to get me alone in your room, all you had to do was ask," Bambi says with a suggestive arch of his dark eyebrow.

I snort and throw the towel at his head,

"Shut up, you big horse."

Bambi snickers quietly, and comes to sit down opposite me on the bed. We sit there for a while as Bambi dries himself off a little more, neither of us saying anything. It's a comfortable silence, and I don't feel any need to fill it with stilted conversation.

Eventually though, Bambi looks at me and his head tilts to the side like a puppy. I have to try not to laugh again. He asks,

"Has something bad happened?" His tone is surprisingly serious.

I can't seem to stop my eyebrows from rising as I reply carefully,

"No, I'm fine."

Bambi's expression darkens then, and he leans forward a bit, his voice low when he says,

"You know, it's funny, even though I haven't seen you in years, in some ways, you've barely changed at all."

"You don't know me," I find myself snapping despite the warning signs going off inside my head telling me to shut the hell up. It's just Bambi after all. Just Jacob.

_Jay._

Yeah, I suppose you could say there's more to that story as well.

Bambi looks at me, dead in the eye, and snaps back,

"I know you well enough to understand that when you say 'I'm fine', what you really mean is 'I've just had a really bad panic attack'."

I wince, unable to help myself,

"That was years ago." I glare at him.

"Exactly," Bambi glares right back at me, "and you're still bullshitting now the exact same way you did then."

"It's got nothing to do with you, leave it alone," I get up from my chair, unwilling to sit there and look at the knowing light in his eyes. I walk across to the window and stare out of it, my arms wrapped tightly around myself, as if to ward off another attack by force of will alone.

After a long and heavy pause I hear him sigh behind me, and my resolve crumbles just a little bit when he says,

"If it helps, then I'm ok too."

'I'm ok'. That's what he used to say whenever...oh, damn.

I spin around fast and stare at him,

"But...your mother...she-"

"Not my mother. _Me_." Jacob says, his eyebrows are drawn together, and he looks like he's in pain.

Although I know from experience that it's more mental than physical.

I move to place a hand on his shoulder, but pull it back at the last second, my hand instead pressing over my stomach,

"Oh...no _..no_..."

Jacob runs a hand through his hair and studiously refuses to look at me,

"Yeah."

My heart breaks for him and I slide down to sit on the floor, leaning against my bed. Jacob sits down next to me slowly.

I look over him just as he turns to look at me,

"I'm _sorry_." I say, meaning it with everything I have in me.

Jacob smiles sadly, and we both sit in silence for a long time. Finally he meets my eyes and asks,

"There's more to it for you now?"

I don't feel any desire to lie to him. Not anymore. Maybe not ever again.

"Yeah, there's a lot more."

"Want to tell me about it?" Jacob asks, sounding like he only wants to know if I _**want**_ to tell him. It almost makes me smile.

"No. You want to tell me about yours?"

Jacob doesn't even hesitate,

"No. Not yet."

 _Not yet_. Yeah, that's pretty much the theme song for my entire life right now.

"Understood. Then what are we supposed to talk about?"

Jacob smiles slightly, and this time it's more teasing than sad, although it still holds an edge,

"You could tell me why my Dad is so upset about you dating a Cullen."

I huff out a laugh,

"You already know why. They're vampires, remember."

Jacob rolls his eyes,

"Oh yeah, _that,_ " he looks over at me, "How serious are things between you and Dracula Jr then?"

I shove his arm and shrug,

"I don't know."

"So, pretty serious then," Jacob deduces with a nod.

I eye him warily, but then decide I really don't care if he can read me. It was only a matter of time before someone turned my own talent back on me anyway.

"I really care about him," I say with a loud sigh.

"Do you, like, love him?" Jacob asks, I can't quite decide if his tone is surprised or concerned.

I bite my lip hard for a moment, and then say,

"Maybe. No. Yes. Kinda. How the hell should I know? I've never been in love with anyone before. What about you?"

Jacob gives me a mock scandalised look,

"I'll be honest here and say no, I have never been in love with Edward Cullen before. I don't think it'd go over well with everyone back at the reservation."

I punch Jacob's arm playfully and bark out a laugh,

"You're an idiot."

"Pffft, at least I'm not in love with a well dressed Goth," Jacob replies.

"I'm not in love with him!"

"You little liar!"

"Ok, fine, I might, _possibly_ , love him. A bit. Maybe. But that's all I'm admitting," I bring my legs up and wrap my arms around them, resting my cheek on my knee.

"Look," Jacob says, he looks serious again, "I don't know Edward, and I've never been in love. But I do know that if I ever did fall in love with someone, and I was lucky enough to have that person love me back, then I'd damn well do everything I could to fight for that love. No matter what." He doesn't look even a little embarrassed by what he's saying. But then, Jacob has always been like that. Passionate and fearless. It's one of the reasons we get on so well, then and now.

"What makes you so sure he's in love with me?" I ask, my voice sounding strained even to my own ears.

Jacob looks at me then, and the expression on his face can only be described as completely sincere when he says,

"Because you're **_you._** "

I am a badass unicorn. With a mental disorder. No wait, a commitment-phobic unicorn with a mental disorder and a twitchy writers hand. Oh yeah, I'm _me_ alright.

...

When the phone rings later on that day, I force myself to grab it, just in case it's Bella calling to tell me she's been kidnapped by ninja's who want to sell her to a Japanese warlord. Yeah, as if she'd ever be involved in something that cool.

It's not Bella bop. It's so much worse.

 _"Hi!"_ Chatty practically squeals down the phone.

"Uh, hey," I reply, putting as much disinterest into my voice as possible in the hope that she'll take the hint.

She does not take the hint. Surprise, surprise.

Against my better judgement I ask,

"Um, how are you on this fine day?"

" _Aren't you going to ask about the dance?"_ Chatty says in a pouty voice.

Damn, there was a dance last night? Oh, right, yeah.

"Ok, how was the dance?"

Yep, definitely a mistake.

 _"It was so much fun!"_ Chatty gushes. Loudly. She then launches into a second-by-second account of the previous night. Chatty goes on about her and Goldy and blah blah blah, forever and ever. It gets to the point where I'm having to pinch myself just so I won't nod off. Since when am I Chatty's best fwend anyway? This should be Bella's job, not mine.

I get away with not properly listening right up until Chatty says,

_"Hey, Ever, did you hear what I said?"_

"Nope," I say more honestly and bluntly than was probably polite. I think I was channeling Kevin with that one. He can be one hell of a bitchy bat.

Chatty huffs into the phone and I want to strangle her with a skipping rope,

_"I said, Mike kissed me! Can you believe it?"_

Woah! Hold the fuck up!

"NO FUCKING WAY!" I shout down the phone.

Ooopps. But really, for fucks sake! How dare he! Oh, I am gonna beat his blond ass!

Chatty sounds majorly pissy when she says.

" _Why are you shouting? Are you jealous, because that's not fair, you already have Edward and I-"_

"Sorry, Chatty, I've got to go...there's...a...badger in my house. I have to go call the CIA about it. Bye." I hang up before she can start shrieking any louder.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

I quickly take out my mobile and ring Beany. I'm not even sure if he knows, but I have to make sure he's ok if he does.

Beany answers on the third ring and I feel like I know that he knows, even before he says,

" _He kissed **her**."_

"I heard."

_"The bastard."_

"Yeah, pretty much."

_"Stupid, cowardly bastard!"_

"I agree wholeheartedly."

_"Wait, hold on, how do you know about it?"_

"Chatty just rang and told me."

_"Bitch."_

"Yet more agreement from this end, babe."

_"Ugh, I'm sorry, it's not Jessica's fault. I'm not pissed off at her, I'm pissed at **him**."_

"And rightly so," I say with a firm nod, even though he can't see it.

_"Why would he do this? Things were going fine with us, why'd he have to ruin it, huh?"_

"Was it really going well? Didn't you guys have a fight or something?"

I can hear the shrug in his voice,

" _Well, yeah, but it was nothing new. The same old shit. He won't come out, and he thinks if I come out then people will naturally assume he's gay too."_

"Goldy's a moron."

_"You can say that again."_

"Goldy's a fucking moron."

_"Ok, one more time."_

"Goldy is a fucking, cheating moron."

_"Thank you."_

"I've got your back, Beany."

We talk for a while about how much of prick Goldy is, and how Beany should so, completely tell him to fuck off. Beany is a great guy, and totally deserves better than to be treated like that. We hang up eventually, agreeing that Goldy is bad news, and that we'll both be avoiding him from now on. I'm team Beany all the way with this one.

When I go into the kitchen, Bella and Dad are already in there. Dad looks up at me, is face pale,

"Is this true, are you two really dating the Cullens?"

I cringe first, and then send Bella my best death glare.

"Yes, it's true Dad." Bella says, apparently ignoring my warning look.

But Dad is watching me expectantly, as if my word is final. I throw a hand up in exasperation and say,

"Yeah, alright then, we're dating the Cullen twins."

Dad looks both shocked and appalled for a few seconds, before is expression goes back to blank canvas it usually is. I sigh internally.

"We're gonna go play baseball with them this afternoon," Bella adds, and I mentally facepalm.

Go Bella bop! You annoying twittlebug!

Dad actually chuckles at that,

"You're going to play baseball," he says to Bella.

Bella shrugs and mumbles,

"I'll probably end up just watching most of it."

"Oh, I don't know, you'd make a good base." I say with another small glare aimed my emo twin's way. Bella gives me evils right back. I don't know why she felt the need to drag me into this.

Dad looks to me then,

"You're playing baseball too?"

I smirk evilly,

"I'm bringing Kevin to the party."

Bella groans into her hands.

Some time after Bambi left, I realised how much of a dramatic idiot I was being. Just because I've developed strong feelings for Edward, doesn't mean I should ignore him like a ignorant child. Or a Bella.

With that thought in mind, I gave Edward a call, and felt instantly better at hearing his smooth growly voice. We talked for a while, and when he invited me out to play some storm style baseball with his family, I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do. A big part of me did actually miss him quite a lot. Which threatens to send my mind into a tailspin every time I think about how much I missed Edward in only one day of us being apart.

...

When we get to the clearing where this supposed baseball game is apparently going to happen, I wave Kevin manically at the rest of the Cullen's lounging on rocks like Sirens.

Edward is smiling down at me like I am his world, and I allow myself to bask in that amazing feeling. He locks his fingers with mine and pulls me back, close to his body. he whispers into my ear,

"I didn't think it was possible to make waving a bat around look sexy...but you managed it."

"I got skills," I whisper back, allowing my lips to ghost over his jaw.

Edward's grasp on me tightens, and I shiver as he runs a and along my hip, his fingers somehow finding bare skin. It's times like this that make me wish we were alone. I lean into him even more and let him wrap his strong arms around me. I can feel the power coursing through his body, and it makes me feel hot all over. I mentally slap myself when the images in my head go from PG to X-rated in five seconds flat.

"Come on then, Ward, lets go watch Kevin kick some vampy ass." I say, making myself pull away from Edward.

I dance out of his grasp and he growls low in his throat. I flutter my eyelashes at him and he narrows his eyes. When Edward came to pick me up, he made quite a scene in front of Charlie by picking me up and holding my body close to his. He told me in great detail how much he missed me, and I got one hell of a kiss out of it. Thankfully Charlie was distracted by a far more polite JP to notice his other daughter and her boyfriend going at it against a car door.

The siren get up when they notice us and come walking, very gracefully over to meet us.

After a quick greeting, Alice rushes off to her place on the field and I watch as the rest of the Cullen's scramble as well. I stay back with Esme and Bella. Although I brought Kevin, I don't think it would be wise to take on Emmett in any kind of game where he could potentially lose.

He did wink at me though when he came over, and his exact words were 'Rose told me all about you. She said you're crazy as a box of frogs. Means she likes you'. Ha! I knew Queen Bee and I would be besties for life. She did in fact sniff in my direction, whereas Bella got completely ignored. Actually, that's probably for the best, as I'd hate to know what words would come bumbling out of my sister's mouth if she did try and speak to Rosalie.

God knows what Rosalie would say back. Or more likely 'do' in retaliation.

I ask Esme,

"Don't you wanna play...I'll let you borrow Kevin." I brandish Kevin like a sword.

Bella sighs from somewhere, and my grin gets wider. Annyoing my twin, even by accident, is always the aim of the game.

Esme smiles at me, and I can tell she's trying hard to appear human so she doesn't frighten me. I want to tell her that it would take a lot to scare me, but I don't think she'd take that in the right way.

"No, I prefer to referee - I like keeping them honest," Esme answer with a small smirk.

"Ah, bunch of cheaters, are they?" I ask, nodding like I already know the answer. Sneaky little batboys and girls.

"Oh yes - you should hear the arguments they get into! Actually, I hope you don't, you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves." Esme laughs to herself,a although she does send a cautious glance off towards her pseudo children.

I can't help but smile genuinely at her,

"You really do think of them as yours," I marvel.

Esme nods, a small smile playing about her lips,

"I truly do. Did Edward tell you that I lost a child of my own?"

I blink in suprise and shake my head,

"No, he didn't."

"Yes, my first and only baby. He died just a few days after he was born, the poor tiny thing," she sighs, a resigned sadness creeping into her expression. "It broke my heart - that's why I jumped off the cliff, you know," she adds in an almost plain tone of voice.

I frown in thought and say,

"Edward told you fell."

Esme gives me another warm smile,

"Ah, always the gentleman. Edward was the first of my new sons. I've always thought of him that way, even though he's older than I, in one way at least. That's why I'm so happy that he's found you, dear." Esme says kindly, moving to squeeze my writs very gently, "He's been the odd man out for far too long; it's hurt me to see him alone."

My heart pounds a little faster, and I find myself feeling sorry for all the time Edward's spent alone. It must have been hard for him to watch his 'siblings' and 'parents' find people to love, and never have it for himself.

"I just want him to be happy," I sigh, realisng to late that I said it out loud when I didn't mean to.

Esme squeezes my wrist again and says,

"You make him happy, I can see it in his eyes."

"Then I'm glad," I let a grin escape, and I flash it at Esme.

I enjoy both watching the game and the thunderstorm crashing and striking all around us. I never thought I'd be able to say that I've seen vampires play baseball, but now I officially can, so there's that if nothing else.

Most of all I enjoy the wonder and careless happiness that lights up Edward's face as he plays. It makes me feel all warm and firework-y inside. He's truly beautiufl when he smiles, I've always thought that. It makes him see so damn human, and I love that about him.

I love him.

I love Edward Cullen.


	18. The Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

Ok, so, long story short, AliceMcPixiestick had a 'vision', or whatever, and now three vampy people are walking menacingly onto the makeshift baseball field. Oh joy.

The obvious gang leader is a tall dark haired man with a weird 'I'm just here to watch' vibe. Freak. The two others flank him like he's famous or some shit. He is their Robbie William's and they are his Take That. I have not changed my mind since first seeing the mighty vampy people, they are strange mofo's, no doubt.

Anyway, they look like predators, which isn't even funny because they ARE predators. Who could eat me. Or Bella. Although who would want to eat Bella? I wouldn't, she'd be all stringy and emo. You shouldn't ever eat an emo, it's bad for your digestive system for sure. Like eating anti-depressants. And I should know.

Wait...sorry, I forgot that you don't know about that part. Let it go for now, and I'll tell you later. If I survive this.

Oh, God, I never got to tell Gordan how much I love him. Or kick Goldy's ass for being a cheating butt-head. Or visit England, I've always wanted to go there and see if they really wear capes and top hats non-ironically. If they don't, then they definitely _should_. Maybe I could have started a retro trend thing. Well, we may never know now, because I'm about to be eaten by Robbie William's and his fucking backing singers.

Damn it!

I didn't even write a Will! How do you even write a Will? Can you give someone anything you've used, or does it have to be yours by law? I don't know the rules! I really should have considered this before I fell in love with a vampire. Stupid me for not having enough forethought.

I hope if Bella survives and I don't that she'll be happy (for once in her life).

She better not touch my stuff.

I turn to a shaky Bella and snap,

"You leave my expensive sexy pants alone!"

Bella's eyes flicker over to me, startled, like a deer caught in the headlights, or some kind of Anime schoolgirl. But without the strange child-like sexuality part.

"What are you talking about?" Bella bop huffs at me.

I point at her,

"I don't want you using them with JgrumpelstiltskinP," I admonish her.

"Use what?" Bella says in exasperation.

"My special pants!" I almost yell at her.

"You have special sexy pants?" Edward asks me, peering downward seemingly without thinking.

"This is hardly the time," JP snips at us.

Edward looks at his brother and shrugs,

"I disagree."

I roll my eyes and shove at Edward, but he catches me around the waist and yanks me back against him. His eyes keep darting between me and the Take That tribute band. I see worry and anger and guilt etched into his features, and that scares me a little. This is fast becoming too real. I can't distract myself with thoughts of pants forever.

Wow, that was a weird thought.

The closer Take That get to us, the more I notice how different they look to the Cullens. They're covered in dirt and leaves from the woods, and their clothes are frayed, unlike the usual pristine designer gear worn by the Cullens. Although maybe the Cullens are just snobby, who knows. I've only ever dated one rich guy before, and he had a yacht.

He was also clinically depressed, but that's another story altogether.

Robbie Williams smiles at us, and my mind screams 'shark', and the 'Jaws' theme tune starts playing in the back of my head. A part of my mind I've deemed the 'movie magic' room.

"Why are you humming 'Jaws'?" Edward whispers into my ear.

I cough to cover my response,

"Nervous humming."

"Right...right," Edward makes a valiant effort in pretending to understand what that means. I kinda love him for it.

Unfortunately. Damn it, could I have figured out I love him later on. This is all too much to think about. I better not have a panic attack _now,_ because that would really put a downer on the day.

Also, Take That's eyes are red. Creepy fuckers. DEMONS! Let me just make a call to Buffy...or Blade...or...Dean Winchester. For unrelated reasons.

Robbie Williams takes a step towards Carlisle and says,

"We thought we heard a game," he sounds French-ish, "I'm Laurent, these are Victoria and James." He gestures to his back up singers.

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and Alice, Edward, John-Paul, Bella and Ever." He points us out in groups, deliberately not letting on who is who in particular. Nice. Sneaky. Bella looks shocked, probably freaked out by Carlisle calling her _family_. But what else was he gonna say, 'oh, yes, this is my family, and our two pet humans. We're taking them for a walk...looksie here and watch them play fetch with a twig'.

"Do you have room for a few more players?" Robbie asks nicely. Too nicely. I smell bullcrap.

Carlisle sounds too friendly as well when he replies,

"Actually, we were just finishing up. But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?"

Bullcrap, bullcrap, bullcrap all around!

I shift Kevin around in my hand, ready to pull him up and kick some vampy ass if need be. Although I think that'd be like trying to beat up a big pebble. Not that I've ever tried to fight a big pebble. Technically speaking I've never had any personal problems whatsoever with pebbles. But there's always a first time, and I'd like to be prepared...

Me: Hey, brain, SHUT UP ABOUT PEBBLES!

Brain: No. I like pebbles.

Me:God damn you!

Brain: Hee hee...pebbles.

Me: _Ugh_...

Brain: Word.

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time." Robbie says boringly.

Oh dear oh dear, maybe vampy people are endangered. Should I start a charity? I could sell cupcakes...mmmm, _cupcakes_.

"No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves." Carlisle explains reasonably.

I'm feeling calmer than I was, and Edward even appears slightly less on edge, his grip more wary than painful. I narrow my eyes at Jasper/Cracky...I feel suspicious that he might be messing with our emotions...the little shit.

"What's your hunting range?" Robbie asks, and I suppress the urge to make a Bugs Bunny Loony Tunes joke. I'll save it for later. If there is a later.

"The Olympic Range here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We keep a permanent residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali." Carlisle says, apparently ignoring the obvious goading by Robbie.

"Permanent? How do you manage that?" Robbie appears genuinely curious. It's very bad. Bad ju ju I say.

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably?" Carlisle invites them "It's a rather long story."

My bullcarap meter is going off the charts right now, but I stay silent because I do not have a death wish. Unlike _some_ , yeah, I'm looking at you Bella bop emo face. Bella glares at me, and I smile back at her.

Such is life.

"That sounds very interesting, and welcome." Robbie's smile makes me want to cringe, "We've been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while."

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand," Carlisle says, a sterner tone to his voice now.

Yeah, no hunting in my town bitches!

"Of course." Robbie agrees amicably, "We certainly won't encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle, anyway,"

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us - Edward and John, you can go with Ever and Bella to get the Jeep," Carlisle says casually. Way too casually for my taste.

I don't like this, I don't like it at all.

Then things get worse. Because, hell, why not.

One of Robbie's backing singers...Gary Barlow, catches mine and Bella's scents and he shifts into a creepy spider crouch, his nostrils flaring at us. It makes him look like a hippo. I tell him that, and Bella elbows me. Hard. She is so violent, I may have to call the RSPCA about her one of these days. They can take her to a farm, or release her into the sea. Where the wild octopuses roam. Something like that. I would want her to feel welcome.

Both Edward and JP move to cover Bella and I. Edward snarls like an animal, a real life predator, even more so than he did that day when I got attacked by assholes incorporated.

"What's this?" Robbie asks, sounding completely bewildered.

I raise Kevin, and Bella yips at me not to provoke anyone. I ignore her and prepare myself for battle.

All jokes aside, there's no way I'm letting Gary take my sister. He can fuck right off.

Gary feigns to the side, towards me, and Edward cuts him off with a growl-like hiss. His body is primed and ready to fight. I have no doubt that Edward will put himself in harms way to save me. I have to begrudgingly admit that JP will probably do the same for Bella. But either way, I have Kevin, so we can't possibly lose.

"They're with us," Carlisle says calmly.

"You brought a snack," Robbie tilts his head to one side like a dog.

I scoff loudly, unable to help myself,

"Back off Williams, I am no one's Oreo, say that to Kevin and he will _take you down"_ I raise Kevin menacingly.

" ** _Ever_** ," Bella and Edward both growl at me.

"Sorry," I mumble.

Edward mutters something about me being the only woman alive who would provoke a monster using a bat whilst ranting about Oreo's. I want to hit him for that.

I did not rant. I spoke truth.

But I'll let him off for now considering he's defending me from Barlow.

"I said, they're with us," Carlisle says again, sounding less calm this time, but nowhere near angry or defensive. Well, good, someone needs to think rationally. I know it's not going to be me or Kevin.

"But they're human," Robbie sounds dismayed. Scandalised even, like he should be clutching pearls or something.

"Yes," Emmett says at Carlisle's side, his eyes trained on Robbie.

Gary straightens slightly, but Edward continues to be coiled up like a snake ready to strike. I appreciate his devotion to keeping me alive, it will not go unrewarded.

Robbie says in the same calm tone Carlisle was using earlier,

"It appears we have a lot to learn about each other."

No, it appears like Gary is about to attack me and my pet emo and end up with a bat to the face and an Edward kicking his vampy ass.

But Carlisle just says,

"Indeed."

Whatever the fuck that means.

"But we'd like to accept your invitation." Robbie continues, "And, of course, we will not harm the human girls. We won't hunt in your range, as I said."

Gary gives Robbie an incredulous look and then shakes his head in disbelief when Robbie doesn't react at all. The third vampy person, who I've dubbed The Lost Weasley, Weasley for short, because of her red hair, looks a bit sketchy, and her eyes keep darting between us, going from person to person constantly.

Carlisle watches Robbie for a long moment, before nodding mutely and saying,

"We'll show you the way. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme?" The three of them gather towards Carlisle, leaving Alice and Emmett to cover us alongside Edward and JP. They both watch Barlow with dangerously perceptive eyes.

I'm pretty sure they'd attack with vehemence to protect me and Bella bop, which is good. Sort of. Although I'd rather not see any limbs getting torn off today. I'm weird and humany like that. Limb ripping is just not my thing.

If nothing else, this afternoon proved that Baseball is very dangerous and that playing sports in general is a bad idea. I'll write to Sports News about my experience and then maybe all sports will be cancelled.

It would be the logical thing to do.

"Let's go," JP says sternly, both his and Edward's eyes still trained on Barlow.

I frog march a complainy Bella through the forest, ignoring JP's swearing, and Edward's seething silence. I'll deal with that later, right now we just need to get away from Take That.

Once we're all strapped into one of the Cullen's many, many cars, thing begin to go down hill fast. It becomes obvious right away that we're being taken out of Forks, at an alarming speed even for the Cullen's.

Bella immediately starts wailing like the love child of My chemical romance and Anne Hathaway. Eh, I just disturbed myself again.

"Damn it, where are you taking us?" Bella demands.

"Um, away from the crazy vampy people, I'd wager," I say, but Bella ignores me as usual.

"We have to get you away from here - far away - now." JP says distractedly.

I make a face at Edward, who takes my hand pulls me into his lap. Ward kisses the top of my head and whispers,

"I'm more sorry about this than you can ever know."

"I do know," I whisper back, squeezing Edward's hand. He holds onto me tighter.

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" Bella shouts, her voice sounds squeaky. It's annoying.

"Bella, calm the fuck down," I say firmly, "We need to get as far away as possible, there's no telling what they'll do."

Bella whirls on me and snaps,

"What about Charlie?"

"He wants to hunt you," Edward says, "He will not be persuaded by reason. Our priority is getting you out of here."

My mind beings whirling at a thousand mile per hour, and I cut off Bella's whiny rant by saying,

"Fine, then Pixie and Muscles go protect Dad, and we go, just the four of us."

Edward pauses for a moment and then nods,

"Alright, that's fair. Brother?"

JP seems less convinced, but he eventually nods as well.

"Ok, fine, but we do this fast."

"I'm not leaving you," Emmett argues, but Alice slaps his arm and shakes her head.

"It'll be easier if they go alone, less to track that way," Pixie stick says, her pretty face scrunching up in thought.

"Charlie won't go for this," Bella argues.

"Then we tell him we're staying over at a friend's house. Just don't sound suspicious and we'll be fine," I say, still thinking.

We need to get away from Edward and JP and all the Cullens.

Bella gives me an incredulous look, and I lock out gazes purposefully, putting as much meaning in my eyes as possible. I hope this once Bella can put her twin evil emo powers to good use and see what needs to happen. What we'll have to do.

Miracles of miracles, Bella seems to understand, and all she does is note mutely at me.

Ok, ok, we can do this.

We get away from the Cullens and then we run, like fucking Thelma and Louise, we fucking _run_.

Gordan better be ready for us.

"We need to kill him," Edward says, his voice deadly and cold now, and it makes me shiver. Not all in a bad way either.

Damn I need to curb this tendency of mine to fall for sociopaths. It can't be healthy.

"Good, we get him alone, and tear his fucking head off," Emmett says almost gleefully. Just without the almost part.

I hold myself like a compliant little duck, and will Bella to do the same. We can't let on what we're going to do.

But I am Ever, a mighty lunatic unicorn, and even if this is the stupidest thing I ever do in my life, I'll know I did what felt right in my gut.

Bring it on Barlow, Kevin and I will see you in hell.


	19. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

It's pretty obvious that Dad is waiting up for the emo and his favourite.

I am the favourite by the way, just so we're all clear on that.

I tried to convince Bella to just let me text Dad, and tell him we're going to stay over at a friend's. But she started blathering on about the fucking FBI or her emo poetry club, or some shit, I don't know.

"I _am_ the FBI," I argue with her one last time, "Agent Swan Lake, remember."

Bella gives me the stoniest look ever, and it makes her look like an angry cartoon mouse. It's genuinely frightening.

"You're an idiot! This is serious!" Bella all but yells at me.

I scoff loudly back at her,

"Says the one who wants to shove herself right into the line of fire like a _moron_!"

"I am not a moron!," Bella hisses angrily, "I just don't want Charlie to worry."

"He's our Dad, he always worries, that's the point," I argue vehemently. But I already know I won't win this one, because Bella has her pissy porcupine face on, and ain't nobody got time for dat!

JgogoboyP parks outside our house, and the vampy people take a sec to sniff out the joint, checking for Gary infestations. It's Emmett who finally says,

"He's not here."

"I think you mean, that Barlow bitch is not in da house," I say with a firm nod.

Emmett grins at me,

"I like your version better. IN DA HOUSE!"

"Booyah!" I hold my hand up and we high five. Like a Boss. Two Bosses.

Edward makes a groaning sound and shakes his head at me,

"I'm starting to think that maybe you should actually go up against James and scare him with your madness. He'll probably just run away as soon as you start talking about your magic talking truck."

I flick him upside the head,

"Gordan doesn't talk. And he isn't magic. We just share a special spiritual bond that allows us to communicate."

Edward holds his hands up in a placating gesture and says,

"You're right, I'm truly sorry. I take it all back. Gordan is a very spiritual being, clearly." But I'm pretty sure I hear my boyfriend mutter "Lunatic" under his breathe.

I narrow my eyes at him,

"You keep this up and I won't ever let you see my special pants."

Edward gapes at me and then pulls a contrite and apologetic face at me.

"I do want to see that."

"Of course you do, so stop being mean about my friends," I scold him, and lean forward to nip at his jaw.

Edward growls a little and captures my mouth in a spine tingling kiss. We ignore the shouts from the others about PDA or in Emmett's case just simply 'ewww, gross, twin love'. I really like that guy.

Edward kisses me like it's the last thing he ever wants to do in his life, and I respond with the same passion filled urgency. A pulse of understanding seems to ripple through us in this moment and I cling to Edward, letting him hold me for just a second longer.

When we break apart I feel dazed, like I always do when Edward kisses me, but this time it's more than that. I know how guilty he feels for all of this, as if it's his fault that Barlow decided he fancied some twin hunting. I don't blame him at all, but I also know Edward well enough by now to realise that he won't accept that fact no matter how many times I say it. So I don't say it at all, and instead I place my hand over his still heart as he stares down into my eyes like I'm the only thing that exists in his world. Maybe in this one moment I am.

"I-" I start, but then I realise we're being watched by both my family and his, and decide now is not the time to admit to anything 'love' related. That can wait until we're alone and not desperate. Although with the Edward is looking at me, if our siblings weren't here we'd be wearing way less clothes right now.

I'd be completely fine with that, by the way.

I roll my shoulders back and break eye contact with Edward. I turn to the nosy nora's around us and demand,

"What?"

Bella just smirks at me knowingly, and I ignore her stupid face because it is stupid and I don't have time for her shenanigans. This is serious shit after all.

Emmett whistles low, and Pixie giggles, practically bouncing in her seat. JP is too busy looking tense and constipated, so he pretty much looks the same as always.

We all climb out of the car, and I studiously avoid looking at Edward, half afraid that I'll burst into whimsical song about how much I wuv him. Oh God.

"Fifteen minutes," JP says to his future bride and I.

Alice gives me a hug and then disappears into the darkness surrounding us. Creepy little pixie. Emmet and I fist bump as a mark of respect, and then he's gone too.

Edward and JP follow us up to the porch and Bella starts to sniffle a bit. I reach over and take her hand, because despite everything I say and think about Bella, she's still my twin, and I love her more than anybody else in the world.

I know right, go figure.

Bella squeezes my hand, and I wink at her. She sniffles again and then turns dramatically to JP. She surprises the shit out of me when she says,

"I love you, John-Paul, and I will always love you, no matter what happens now."

I let go of her hand and back away a few steps. Edward snickers behind his hand and then pulls me back against his chest. He whispers into my ear,

"Does it really freak you out that much?"

I shrug noncommittally,

"I better not look like that when I look at you."

I wince when I realise what I've just said. Edward's body tenses behind me and I turn in his arms,

"Edward, I-"

"No," Edward cuts me off and cups my face in his hands with surprising gentleness, "It's not the right time."

I nod, because he's right. We aren't Bella and JP, we don't need a dramatic moment to admit how we feel about each other. This isn't a movie, or an epic romance. It's real life. I'm a real person, and so is he, and somehow even in this fuck up of a universe we've managed to find each other. My love for Edward, and his love for me, may not be what dreams are made of, but it's real, so real that it hurts, and that's damn well got to mean _something._

"Soon though," I whisper, and my heart thuds hard in my chest at the way Edward is looking at me right now.

Edward smiles that very human, very imperfect crooked smile, the one that I love to see on his face, and he says,

"Yes, soon, Ev's."

That's all we need to say right now. I feel strangely content in a way that I haven't in...well maybe ever. Although I still feel as if something is missing. But I don't know what, so I push the feeling aside.

Suddenly I'm being ripped away from Edward by my clearly demented sister. Edward looks surprised and so does JP when Bella bop starts shouting stuff like,

"Go away, John" and "Edward, leave Ever alone!"

She marches up the steps and shoves me in through the front door with her big man hands. She slams it shut behind us and I turn on the crazy bitch.

"What the fuck?" I hiss at her.

Bella glares at me,

"Come on, we have to be convincing."

Convincing of what? That we're psycho's who slam doors?

I understand what she's doing, I'm not an idiot, but I would have preferred some warning God damn it. I can't just act on cue, there are varying exercises I must go through to fully get into character. I can't work like this.

I rush over to the door just as Dad comes running out of the kitchen because of all the commotion. I ignore him and Bella, and I open the door to find a still shocked looking pair of Cullen twins. I shake my fist at them and shout,

"Now yeh get off me sodding lawn, you shitty little scamps!" and I slam the door even harder than Bella did.

I whirl on Dad and Bella, who are both staring at me. I raise my fists into the air and yell,

"ANGER!"

I could so be a famous actress.

Bella slaps her face and makes an exasperated noise at me. Or at life in general, I'm not sure.

"Um, Bella...Ever?," Dad starts.

Bella seems to snap back into pissy mode. She glares verminously at Dad,

"Leave me alone!" she screams at him.

Then she starts crying and running upstairs. I hear a door slam. Wait, hold on, she better be packing for me as well up there!

Dad looks at me, a hurt and bewildred expression on his face. I shrug at him.

"We're on the run from Gary Barlow."

Uh oh.

Dad's eyes widen,

"What?"

"He's a vampire," I say against my will. Damn, I've always been shit at lying to someone's face.

"Ever, you tell me what's going on _right now_ ," Dad demands, and he really looks both worried and angry this time.

"Ok," I start nodding like a limping puppet or something, "Edward and JP are vampires, and so is their family. But they're all good vampires because they don't eat people. I promise Edward is a great guy, and I think I'm in love with him, but whenever I think too much about that I have a panic attack, which is totally fine so don't worry. I'm handling it ok, Jacob is helping me. Did you know about his diagnosis? Why didn't you tell me? Right, sorry, not the time, but anyway... So we were watching the Cullens play baseball vampy stylie, which was pretty awesome, and then some super nasty looking vamps came onto the pitch and one of them, Gary, has decided to hunt me and Bella down so that he can eat us for a snack. I threatened him with Kevin, but he didn't get the message, so now me and Bella have to get out of town. Don't panic though, it's all being handled. Everything is cool, I promise."

It all comes out in a rush and I swear I don't pause to take a breathe even once, which is damn impressive all things considered.

Dad just stands there, staring at me, like he's about to have a stroke. After a long pause he finally says,

"You've been having panic attacks again? Have you been taking your meds?"

Oh, I knew it! I knew he'd focus on that. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity Fuck.

"Not the most important thing right now, Dad," I say with a sigh.

Dad makes a noise of disagreement, but he appears to let it go for now. He runs a hand through his dark hair and stares at me some more.

"Vampires?" he says breathily.

I shrug helplessly

"Yeah, vampires."

"Is this a joke? Because it's a bad one," Dad says, and this time he sounds even more confused.

I flip my hand back and forth,

"Nope, sorry, it's true."

All the colour seems to leave Dad's face at once and he goes white as a sheet. Then something happens that I never thought would happen to a man like my Dad.

His eyes glaze over and he falls the fuck over. Out of respect for my Dad, I won't call it fainting.

I rush over to catch some of his weight so he doesn't hit the ground too hard, which is a massive fail because I am a true born weakling. Without Kevin I am nothing. On the way to the front door I stashed Kevin inside Gordan, he is ready for our great escape.

I check Dad's pulse and am relieved when I find that it's normalish. He looks pale, but mostly unscathed. He's definitely still breathing, so I'll call this one a win.

When I'm confident Dad will be alright, I rush upstairs to find Bella shoving clothes into a duffel bag. She glares at me when I come running in and says,

"What were you doing? We have to hurry!"

I grab up a bag of my own and start cramming things inside it. I smile distractedly at Bella bop and reply,

"Nothing, just told Dad everything about vampires and stuff."

Bella stops packing suddenly and gives me a look so shocked and angerfied that I almost throw something at her face to make it stop.

"You. Did. _What?"_

I wave a hand at her,

"I hate lying."

Bella stares at me for another moment, and then says,

"You are a pain in the ass, you know that right?!"

I smile at her again, more genuinely this time,

"You love it!"

Bella rolls her eyes at me, and then blinks in confusion,

"Wait, where is Dad?"

"He's downstairs," I mutter.

"Doing what?" Bella asks suspiciously.

"I don't know," I shrug, "I'm up here, aren't I?"

"Ever!"

"He passed out."

"What?"

"Don't flip out about it, he's fine, I checked."

"Don't flip out about it?" Bella yells at me in her screetchy voice, "Are you insane? You tell him we're being hunted by a vampire, he faints, and you tell me not to flip out about it?"

"It was just a suggestion," I say mildly, "Now stop yelling, we have to get going. Like now."

We agreed to meet the guys a few roads down in Gordan, they'll be waiting there in their car.

Bella grumbles at me some more, but she continues to pack at the same time. When we've both got full bags, I pull my pet emo out of our room and downstairs. Bella gasps when she see's our Dad and I allow her a few moments to fuss. He's fine, I'm sure of it. I've had plenty of experience with people who faint, enough for a lifetime, trust me. You try having an Anorexic roommate and see of you don't learn a thing or two. Sorry, that's another one of those things I'll tell you about later. I promise. By now you're probably pretty confused, and I understand, but just bear with me. All with be revealed...most likely. Unless Gary gets me first. We shall see.

Whilst Bella is flapping about because of Dad, I go into the kitchen to grab the most important supply of all.

When I come back out Bella is standing again, with her bag slung over her shoulder. She glares at me and jerks a thumb towards Dad,

"That is so your fault."

I poke my tongue out at her,

"Yes, but he created me, therefore the mad scientist has been destroyed by his own monster. I find the irony pleasing."

Bella just stares at me again, and then throws her hands up in a 'I give up' gesture. Then her eyes lock in on what I'm carrying in my hands. The glare is back.

"You can _not_ be serious," she says slowly.

I hold up the tub of ice cream and the spoon and reply,

"I'm not going anywhere without ice cream. If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna die with Ben&Jerry's in one hand and Kevin in the other."

Bella simply turns away from me and strides towards the front door without another word. I follow after her with my bag and my ice cream. But I make sure to stop my pet emo before she can venture outside and be taken by the evil Gary.

"Come on," I clasp her hand in mine and we walk out together.

We move cautiously and quickly over to Gordan and sling our bags into the back before climbing inside. I get into the driver's side and start Gordan up.

As I pull out onto the road and start driving I turn a little in my seat and skate a quick glance over at Bella. Her face is pale and her expression is resolute. I know that for once we are on the same page. Miracles of miracles folks.

"Are we being stupid and selfish?" Bella asks suddenly, and I blink at her in surprise.

I sigh heavily and shrug,

"Yeah, most likely. But it feels right in my gut, so I'm doing it."

Bella nods mutely and then slumps in her seat. She looks at me, a sad glint in her eyes,

"You love him. Like, you actually love him."

I'm silent for a very long moment. But as we pass the road we were meant to turn down to meet the guys, I say,

"Yes."

"I never thought that could happen for you after...everything," Bella's voice turns quiet and almost frightened.

I know what I went through took a toll on her too. We're twins after all. Now I don't believe that Bella and I share a special magical bond just because we're twins, but there is something between us that I don't think would exist if we were just normal sisters. I share her pain, and she shares mine. Sometimes I think we both forget that.

"Neither did I," I reply honestly.

"I love John-Paul too, you know," Bella says after another few seconds of speculative silence.

"Yeah, I do know that," I sigh again, but this time it's more in resignation than anything else.

"Then why do you keep trying to ruin things?" Bella frowns harshly at me.

I think about that for a while. Not because I don't understand what she means, but because I can't fully explain it to myself, let alone her.

"I love you more than I love Edward. I'll always love you more than anyone."

"I don't think that's true," Bella says, shaking her head, "In fact I think you're just telling yourself that because it's easier."

Great, I'm being given emotional advice from the emo princess. Perfect.

"Easier than what exactly oh wise one?" I ask drolly.

"The truth. Being vulnerable," Bella answers seriously.

"Something is missing between Edward and I, but I don't know what it is," I say, and almost gasp. I didn't mean to tell her that, or tell anyone who isn't my own crazy person mind.

"There's still time, that thing you think is missing might turn up at some point," Bella advises with a small smile.

"I want you to be happy," I say suddenly, "But I worry that you'll get hurt. I know what it's like to be hurt and in so much pain you feel like you'll die from it, you know I do. I don't want that for you."

"Oh, but it's ok for you to risk it all then?" Bella snaps at me.

I laugh dryly,

"I can handle it."

"So can I," Bella argues firmly.

I don't think I believe that. But there's no way I'm changing Bella's mind now, not with how stubborn she can be about these kind of things.

"Where exactly are we going?" I ask, mostly just to change the subject.

"Hell, probably," Bella mutters at me.

I give her one of my manic smiles and say,

"Next stop the gates of hell. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

"Oh God, you just quoted Mark Twain, kill me now," Bella complains with a groan.

I laugh almost to the point of hysterics. Not because it's that funny, but because, well, why the frik frak not?

ROAD TRIP!


	20. Impatience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

"So...you and JP have been getting pretty _close_ lately it seems," I make sure to put as much suggestion as I can into my voice when I say it.

Bella practically jerks in her seat, her eyes slant towards me,

"Oh don't start."

It's Bella's turn to drive, and to be honest it feels like we've been on the road for, like, a billion years. It may have only been a few hours, but it feels like it's been ages. Then again that might be just because all I have for company is Bella bop. That's enough to make anyone slowly lose their minds to boredom.

I hold my hands up defensively and smirk at my emo twin,

"I'm not starting anything, just stating a fact."

Bella rolls her eyes,

"Yeah, well, quit it. We've kissed, that's it, so you can stop with the silly eyebrow wiggles"

I make an insulted sound, slap a hand over my heart and put on a mocking impression of Bella,

" _'I wuv you John, and no matter what happens I shall always wuv you. You are my one tru wuv',_ you blithering fool!" I add the last part just to amuse myself.

Bella reaches over and hits me in the stomach,

"Shut up, Ever, you weirdo"

I open my mouth wide and dramatically pretend to fall back against the door,

"OW! OH MY GOD! YOU **_ATTACKED_** ME! I'VE BEEN ATTACKED! I NEED A HOSPITAL! I MIGHT ACTUALLY **_DIE_**!"

"Ever-"

"I'M DYING! I CAN SEE A WHITE LIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

Bella sputters and shakes her head at my fanatics,

"If there is any justice then we've already died and this is just hell" is all she says.

I pause for a moment, and then shout,

"OH MY GOD, IT'S TOO LATE, YOU ALREADY KILLED ME!" I point at the emo twin accusingly.

Bella sighs and hits me again,

"I did not!"

"YOU JUST KILLED ME AGAIN! YOU VIOLENT CREATURE!"

"You are such an idiot, Ever"

I clear my throat and huff haughtily,

"You shouldn't speak ill of the dead you know. Especially not when you're the one who murdered them"

Bella scoffs and snaps,

"I'm probably the only person in your life, apart from maybe Edward, who hasn't imagined killing you."

I smirk and raise an eyebrow at Bella,

"Wow...you are like obsessed with Edward. Back off, he's MY boyfriend you biatch."

Bella starts sputtering even more and slaps the steering wheel in frustration, probably worried that I'll start shouting again if she hits _me_.

"I do not talk about Edward a lot."

"You just mentioned him. Twice" I argue.

"Once. I mentioned Edward _once_ "

"Three times now. Bella, seriously, what would JP say if he knew you were crushing on his _brother_. That's low, dude. Kevin is very disappointed in you."

"I swear to God Ever-" Bella starts, but then my phone starts ringing. I don't even reach for it, I know who it is. Its the same person who's been calling nonstop for the last few hours. And I'm not really ready to answer. I figure we should turn off our phones, but I also think I owe Edward an explanation. I just wanted to be far enough away first. Bella's phone has taken a dive out of the window. Meaning I threw it out the window when she had a mini break down about half an hour into our escape and tried to call JfratboyP.

She had a massive fit about that one. But I was driving back then, so she had no choice but to stand down.

Anyway, with a heavy sigh, and a worried look from Bella, I answer the phone call I've been dreading,

Instantly Edward is speaking, his voice panicked and angry,

**_"Where are you? Are you alright? What's going on?"_ **

_"Oh for fucks sake, I'm fine, so is Bella."_

**_"Ever, where the hell are you?"_ **

_"Somewhere."_

**_"Somewhere?"_ **

_"Over the rainbow."_

**_"Ever!"_ **

I hear JP swearing in the background. Bella looks over at me, a lost puppy glint to her eyes. I ignore it and gesture for her to carry on driving and mouth 'onward Jeeves'. She scowls at me, and I ignore that too.

 _"What can I do for you today, sirs?_ " I ask innocently.

**_"Don't start. Are you alive?"_ **

_"No. Bella killed me"_ I answer easily, and Bella gives me evils from the drivers seat. I grin at her.

 _ **"You probably deserved it,"** _ Edward says dryly, but he still sounds strained and stressed out.

_"Rude. Very rude."_

**_"Where the fuck are they?"_ ** I hear JP in the background. Apparently I'm on speakerphone now.

 _"Where the frik frak are you two?"_ I snap back, putting off telling them the truth for as long as I can.

**_"We're with the rest of our family, trying to find you and Bella-"_ **

_"Really, even Queen B?"_ Yes! I knew she loved me.

 _ **"What is it with you and Rosalie?"**_ Edward growls, that possessive tone striking and powerful in his voice.

 **" _Edward_ - _stop it"_** I hear someone who sounds suspiciously like Pixie saying in a low tone.

 ** _"Tell her that Emmett says 'whassap',"_ ** I hear Emmett say next.

 _ **"Shut up Emmett. We're busy here,"**_ JP sounds both very angry and incredibly frustrated. I feel sorry for Edward, having to deal with a frustrated JP all on his own.

 _"Tell Emmet I say 'I'm chillaxing bro',"_ I say to Edward.

 ** _"No,_** " both Edward and JP say at the same time. Again, very rude.

 ** _"Where are you, Ever?"_ ** Edward asks calmly.

I lean back against the head rest and sigh,

_"I'm in Gordan"_

**_"Where?"_** Edward practically hisses, and I wince.

_"I dunno. There are fields. And tree's. There's a lot of road involved and-Oohhh look a cow!"_

"That's a rock Ever," Bella says tiredly.

I scrunch up my nose,

_"Bella says it's a rock. False alarm. There are no cows."_

**_"Ever for fucking hells sake, why aren't you telling us where you are?"_** Edward snaps angrily.

 _"Because-life is a highway_!"

My favourite road trip song comes on the radio, 'Life is Highway' by Rascal Flatts.

" _ **Ever**_ -" Edward starts.

_"Ward, look, I know you're pissed off, and I understand why, but we had to do it this way. Neither of us could live with you and your family putting yourself at risk. If you died it would fucking destroy me, I can't allow it. Gary is after me and Bella. I'll protect my sister, by any means necessary. Please, try to understand."_

There's a long pause, and then Edward sighs heavily, a slight catch in his voice when he says,

 _ **"I understand, you know I do, because I feel exactly the same way. You have no idea how much you mean to me, baby. I need you, please...God please just come back to me, or tell me where I can find you."**_ He sounds so desperate, so unflinchingly terrified of losing me that my eyes start to prick with the sting of impending tears.

Fuck, I love this man.

Which is exactly why I have to do this. I need him safe, I need it like I need oxygen to breathe. My life would no longer be complete without him in it.

I'm on the verge of a panic attack, but I swallow it back, because I have to. For him, for me, for Bella. I have to be strong, stronger than I've ever been before.

_"I'm so sorry, Ward."_

Something breaks inside me as Edward makes a sound of complete and utter devastation over the phone,

**_"No, no, fuck, please, Ever, please, I lo-"_ **

I hang up, cutting him off before he says something he can't take back

I take a deep breathe and push away my pain. Just like I always do. It's kickass road trip time after all. Before Bella can say or ask anything I lean forward and turn up the radio to an almost ear-splitting level.

"LIFE IS A HIGHWAY! I wanna ride it...all night loooong. If you're going my way. I wanna drive it...all night long" I sing. Loudly.

Bella actually laughs at me and sings back,

"Through all these cities and all these towns. It's in my blood and it's all around. I love you now like I loved you then"

We start laughing hysterically and singing together,

"There ain't no load that I can't hold. Road so rough this I knooooww. I'll be there when the light comes in. Just tell 'em we're survivors! LIFE IS A HIGHWAY!"

God, I love road trips!

( _flashback_ )

Ever-Age fourteen

_I think this will be our last summer in Forks. Bella is making it hard for any of us to keep doing this, and as for me...I'm not really in a place right now to fight for anything other than my own sanity._

_Things have been difficult this year, although I feel like I keep saying that to myself every year. Nothing gets better, it only spirals more and more out of control. I've tried so hard to be normal, to let go of the past, but it's so much easier to think than to actually do. It might help if I was ever normal in the first place, because I wasn't, and I'm still not._

_I see the world differently than most people, that's always been true. But now there's a tinge of darkness to my thoughts that won't seem to go away._

_I'll miss this place, it's my home. My real home. I wish I had the chance to grow up here. So many things could have been different if I'd only been given the choice. But I wasn't, and I feel like maybe I never will be._

_It's too late now though, my fate is sealed._

_I look up at the sky through the tree's, and the blinding sun reflects off the leaves, making the world somehow look like it's bathed in gold. My hand starts to twitch as I imagine a story about a fairy made of light, and a goblin made of earth falling together in a dance created by the stars and the sun and the moon. A world of beauty where nothing is dangerous or forbidden. They dance through the sky like flower petals being blown by the breeze. Pieces of their lives fit together and form two roads full of choices._

_Left and right._

_Wrong and correct._

_Good and bad._

_Love and loss._

_Life and death._

_Safety and freedom._

_Fire and Ice._

_I see the world, and it see's me. I like to think the world doesn't know what to make of me any more than I know what to make of the world. A mutual flash of confusion and curiosity, like a crack of lightening to a tree._

_I reach my hand up, trying to touch the sky, the sun, the promise of heaven or oblivion. But I can't, because I am still here. Breathing. One breathe at a time. In, and out. One, and two. Being, and believing. I just wish it wasn't so painful to live a life I didn't choose. I can only be me, and nothing else. Much to the universe's disappointment._

_That thought makes me smile, for reasons that are my own._

_I feel him come up behind me. He pauses, and then lets out a soft sigh and lays his body down next to mine._

_He's looking at me, I know he is. But I keep my eyes upward. I think we'll both feel more comfortable that way for now._

_The boy says nothing, and that makes me smile too. He knows, maybe more than anyone else in the world, what plagues me. Or at least he knows the why of it. He feels his own pain as acutely as I feel mine. We are one, as the river and the sea are one. We know too much. As is our curse. To call it a gift would be too cruel, even for this lifetime._

_Finally I say, to him, and to myself,_

_"Why do so many people love Life, but hate Death?"_

_I wait, and as I knew he would, the boy replies,_

_"Because Life is a beautiful lie, and Death is a painful truth."_

_Morbid, yes of course, but we are but morbid children in a world that pretends not to see it's own darkness._

_I turn to him then, and our eyes lock in a way that no one else could understand. I watch him breathe, and I see the light shift and grow in his eyes. How can eyes so dark hold so much light? When I look in the mirror all I see are shadows, growling from their pits inside my mind._

_But it is a lie, it must be. Because he knows. As only this boy could._

_"I don't want you to leave," he says in a whisper._

_"I know. I don't want to leave either." I say at once, because it's the truest thing I feel right now._

_"Then stay," he replies simply, as if it's that easy. Maybe it is, I don't know. I want it to be._

_The boy reaches for my hand and for once I do not flinch or scream or bleed. My breathing remains steady, and I thank anyone out there who will listen for that. I let him take my hand in his, and the rough skin of his palm makes me feel relaxed. I don't know why, but he's the only one who I can allow to touch me. All the others make me feel like I'm dying from the inside. My soul recoils from their kind eyes and soothing touches._

_I hate them for their kindness. I hate myself for hating them. I hate Him for making me a liar, and most of all for turning me into the hateful creature I am now._

_My hand curls into his, and the boy squeezes my fingers._

_"Your mother said I could live with you," I say, a frown creasing my face._

_The boy's own pretty face scrunches up, and I see the darkness seep back into his eyes._

_"She's off her meds again," he tells me._

_I nod,_

_"You always say that."_

_"Then maybe she's always off her meds," he replies._

_"Maybe," I agree._

_A long pause and then,_

_"What if I'm like her?"_

_I smile slightly and he squeezes my hand tighter,_

_"Then we can be doomed together."_

_"Doomed? To what?" he asks, a spark of something creeping into his expression._

_"To live inside our own heads forever,"_

_My mind is a prison, and the bars are of my own making. Yet I cannot break or destroy them._

_I am a paradox, as we all are. Once opened, we can never be shut again. We can never unknow the truth of what lies within us. And that, is maybe our greatest flaw, and our greatest test._

_"I don't want you to leave," the boy says again, a strain to his voice now._

_I shift closer to him, letting him wrap an arm around my waist and keep me there, my other hand on his chest, and or foreheads pressed together. With anyone else this would be unbearable, but he is not anyone, he is my reflection, my defender from the shadows. And I am his. For together we are one._

_"Do you know what bravery is?" I ask him._

_The boy shakes his head,_

_"No. Tell me."_

_Our eyes stay locked as I say,_

_"When the world is ending, bravery is having the ability to stand at the very edge of the world and watch it burn, and yet still say I will not bend, or break, or kneel. For I know who I am, and what I am is hope."_

_The forest is silent. We are silent. Because such moments as these deserve that kind of respect._

_His face is closer to mine now. Our breathe mixes together, and I can feel the devastating heat of him all over. Fire in my veins, making my heart pound like a rock band's drum._

_The boy's lips ghost over mine, like feathers brushing as they fall, and he whispers to my soul,_

_"For apart we fall, but together...together we stand."_

_Something is missing. But I don't know what. Maybe one day I shall find the missing piece._

* * *

For once upon a time a Unicorn became one with a Warrior of wolves. Because it was inevitable.

Only a few years later that same Unicorn fell in love with a Fae Prince. Because destiny is sometimes cruel.

Fire&Ice. Because fate is a bitch.

The Trick Is To Keep Breathing. Because the only other choice is madness.

* * *

( _End of flashback_ )

Ever-On the run from Gary

I bolt up in bed, that same dream following me.

I shake it off, no need to remember things like that, they can't help me now.

Something hard hits my head, and I reach for Kevin on instinct. I grab hold of him from under my pillow and jump up onto the bed. I give a battle cry of outrage. So does Kevin, but in a more manly stoic way, a.k.a silently.

When my eyes adjust to the light in the room I see that I was attacked by an evil emo creature. She glares at me, hands on hips.

"You seriously need to stop doing that," she says to me, "You look like a lunatic."

I have to tell myself over and over again that murdering your twin is both morally wrong and legally a big 'no no'. Oh, but if only...Kevin would kick her little skinny ass. She's so lucky that we're related. In more ways than one.

"What the hell? You just threw a shoe at me, you heinous beast," I point at her accusingly, looking down to the bed where the offending shoe still lies.

"You need to get up," Bella shrugs, looking pissy again. God damn porcupine blood.

"And it didn't occur to you that maybe you could just gently shake me or something?" I ask snarkily, Kevin still raised in endless rage.

Bella narrows her eyes at me,

"I didn't want to get hit in the face by your bat if you thought I was James."

Who? Why would I hit a guy named James? I don't even know a James. I know a Jimmy, and I would never hit Jimmy with a bat, he's only seven.

"Who the frak is James?" I wave Kevin at her menacingly. He disproves of her stupid emo face.

Bella rolls her eyes,

"Oh for the love of...I mean... _Gary_." She says the name as if it offends her. I don't know why, Gary is a perfectly good name for a vampire. It would be a rubbish name for a Dragon though. Dragon's should have super awesome names like Moonstar, or Daggertooth, or Bert.

"Then why didn't you just say that. Honestly, Bella, this is no time to make up names for angry vampy people," I admonish her with a smirk.

Bella makes a loud and creepy sound. I think it's out of frustration. Either that or she's trying to poop standing up. It's one or the other anyway.

We've made it all the way to Phoenix, mostly just sleeping in Gordan and travelling around as much as we could. I thought it best to turn off our phones. I wasn't sure if the Cullen's, or the mighty Barlow for that matter, could use it to trace us.

For a while Bella and I panicked about our Mom coming home and Gary momnapping her, so I made a call using a payphone. Of course Mom didn't actually answer, but I did leave her message telling her to get the hell out of dodge.

"We need some more food, or at least some water," Bella says, and she shifts around nervously.

I eye my emo twin suspiciously,

"Um, ok, sure. I'll get dressed and we'll go-"

"No, I'm gonna stay here. Can you go?" Bella says, and that weird shifty look returns to her face.

"We agreed not to split up Bella," I say slowly.

"I know, but I'm not feeling so good, could you pick up some aspirin as well?" Bella is pacing now, and I can tell you one thing, my twin is no genius mastermind CIA agent. It's easy as shit to tell when she's hiding something. I give her props for trying so hard though.

"Yeah, nope. Either we both stay here, or we both go. I'm not arguing with you on this one," I say firmly, giving her a look that I hope conveys just how much I'm not joking at all right now. There's no way I'm leaving Bella's side, she'd probably do something stupid like go after Gary by herself.

Nah, not even Bella bop would be that much of a dummy.

Would she? God, I never thought I'd have to put faith in the emo twin's ability to not be a moron. It's a dark day for all of us.

Bella sighs dramatically,

"But Ever-"

"No, I'm serious Bella, I won't leave you alone here," my hand tightens around Kevin, and I desperately search my sister's eyes for some clue as to why she's being so strange about this.

I mean, I know we're on the run from the psycho backing singer Gary Barlow, but still. I bet Weasley and Williams are pretty pissed off right now, it can't be easy to find good vampy hunting buddies these days. How would you even go about finding one? Could you put an add in craigslist? 'Vampire backing singer wanted for hunting humany types'. I'm sure they don't sell them in Walmart.

Or at least I'm half sure. Walmart is a very strange place. I once found battery operated flower pots in there. Why would a flower pot need to be battery operated? I decided not to read the label at the time and instead thought it could just be one of life's many unanswerable questions. I think that's just safer for everyone.

I'm trying not to feel guilty as all hell about Edward, and I know it sounds really ridiculous, but I do miss the bastard. I wish he was here with me, holding me, and telling me everything would be alright. I mean I know, personally, that everything will be ok because I'm awesome, but it might be nice to hear it from someone else. Buddha knows I'm not gonna hear anything like that from Mrs Dumpy Downer.

Speaking of, she hasn't shut the hell up about JpoppersP since we left and it's starting to drive me crazy. Like even more than usual. I usually like a good roadtrip, but Bella's constant whining about JP and how much she misses him, and how perfect he is, and how she wants his inside his panties...

Ok, so she didn't mention the last one, but I'm pretty sure that's what she meant when she started blathering on about his body and his skin and blah blah blah.

I want inside Edward's pants too, but at least that's mutual. From what Bella keeps telling me, it sounds like JP is kinda frigid. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course, but it does make for an amusing image.

Bella gives me one last forlorn look, and then says,

"Fine...fine...but I'm driving."

I roll my eyes at her,

"Yeah, yeah, ok, you big bossy pants."

I go to take a quick shower, and because I'm feeling whimsical, I put on an old favourite t-shirt of mine. It's purple and it reads ' _Guns don't kill people. Fat, fluffy, switchblade-wielding baby ducks do_ '. There's a picture of a baby duck covered in blood and holding a bloody switchblade underneath the writing.

Bella takes one look at my t-shirt, and gives me a look that says 'I disown you with every fiber of my being'. I start to feel offended, but then I remember that it's just Bella, and that we're twins, so she can't pretend we're not related. Well, I guess she could, but it would take a certain level of acting skill that I don't believe Bella bop is capable of.

"Come on then, lets go," I say, grabbing up my wallet. We don't have much money, but since this is the first motel we've stayed in, and the rest has only been spent on fuel and food, we've got enough left to keep going for a few weeks at least.

Bella still looks twitchy and nervous, which sets me on edge. But then, I've been on edge now for days. I keep expecting Gary to come prancing round a corner and rip my throat out. Not the best thought I've ever had.

I fear even more that Bella will get torn apart at any moment. I also worry about Edward and the rest of the Cullen's, I figure they must be frantic by now.

We leave the motel swiftly and climb into Gordan. Bella takes off driving at a much faster speed than normal.

But it's only when she completely passes the small food market that I ask in confusion,

"Bella, where are we going?"

Bella swallows hard, her eyes wide and panicked now, and she says,

"He's got Mom."

Ah, shit.


	21. The Angel

"You are **_not_** bringing **_that_** inside, Ever, no way." Bella says harshly.

I glare at her and snap back,

" _You_ , have no say in the matter. _You_ , are the reason we're here. _You_ , are the one who didn't tell me that Gary called you. _You_ , are the one who used my phone to call the Cullens. _You,_ are the one who basically twinapped me. I swear to God, Bella, if I die today, then I'll...I...I will haunt your ass for the rest of your life, you stupid..thoughtless.. _.bitch_!"

Ok, so I'm being harsh, but fuck, I hate being lied to. It pisses me off.

Bella gasps at me, and her eyes begin to fill. Oh for fucks sake.

"Really? You're going to cry right now? Just because I was a meany bo beany to you?" I say, rubbing the space between my eyes where a headache is beginning to attack my brain.

"I'm sorry, I tried to go alone, but you wouldn't let me," Bella sniffs, her voice taking on a defensive tinge.

Well, at least the emo twin wonder can still feel self rightious when the moment calls for it.

"Oh, right, so sorry, this is definitely all **_my_** fault, what was I thinking?" I say sarcastically.

Bella gapes after me as I walk towards our old ballet studio with Kevin in hand. What? You thought we'd have a fight without him? The final epic battle and no evil bat sidekick? Nah, I need Kevin to take out Gary in case the Cullens don't fucking get here in time. Kevin is our only hope.

Can a bat feel smug?

Yes, I think it can.

Inside the studio is dark, and I have a mini flashback to when I was a kid and I would have rather eaten my own shoe than come here. Nothing against ballet, by the way, but those tutu toting bitches are fierce. And mean. And rude. Skinny little twigglets who used to bully Bella because her hand eye coordination is at level nil. I mean, I used to make fun of her for it too, but I'm her sister. It's how I show my love for her stupid emo face.

Also, I still make fun of her. But then again, she did trick me into coming with her to get us both murdered by Gary Barlow, so, I'm thinking we're even.

Bella comes up behind me and I ignore her because at the moment her presence is irritating me more than usual. I think it's her obvious terror that's doing it, I can feel it in the air like a thick veil of smoke twining between us.

When I hear our mother's voice call out,

"Bella? Ever?" She sounds hysterical and my heart murches, but...there's something a bit...off about all this.

I try to grab onto Bella before she can run off, but she slips right through my fingers. I shout at her to stop, but she's too panicked about our mom to listen. As if she ever listens to anyone but her own stupid emo brain anyway.

"Ah, shit," I sigh in exasperation and follow after my emotastic sister.

I pretty much fuck right over when I crash into Bella, and I open my mouth to ask what the fuck she's staring at. But then I turn to look and I see exactly what my sister is staring at. It's our mom, on a TV screen, her open and smiling face looking out at us.

Uh oh, this seems like the work of the henious Gary! Bats at the ready!

"Hello Bella," A creepy slimeball voice says from behind us.

I spin around with Kevin raised high, and gasp despite myself when Gary himself steps out of shadows like some sort of crack house ghost. I suppress the urge to tell him that his hair is shiny like the moon. Or greasy like a duck. One or the other. It is though. I wonder if Weasley is around here somewhere too.

"Oh, and look, you brought your sister as well, how kind of you," Gary leers at me, and my grip on Kevin becomes a little tighter.

I give him a brief nod,

"'Sup Gary."

At least our mother is safe, and not being nibbled to death by Robbie William's best friend/lover. There is always that. I'm looking for a silver lining here people, don't mock me.

Gary appears to ignore me, which by the way _rude_ , and smiles almost kindly at Bella bop,

"Sorry about that, Bella, but isn't it better that your mother didn't really have to be involved in all this?"

I'm starting to feel like a third wheel over here.

I might have simply misread all the signals and Gary just wants to date Bella, in which case my sister has even worse taste in guys than I thought. And after JboxtrollP, that's really saying something.

"Yes," Bella replies breathlessly to Gary.

"Bella, stop talking, you're encouraging it," I hiss at her.

Gary narrows his eyes at me,

"It? _IT_? I'm an 'it' now?"

I wave a hand dismissively at him,

"I know, right, that's insulting as shit. Now you feel my pain."

"Ever, shut up!" Bella snaps at me, and she looks over at Gary, "Thank you for not killing our mother."

Emo bitch say what?

"You don't sound angry that I tricked you," Gary says to Bella, and he almost sounds amused now. That ain't good.

"Yeah, she's weird like that," I say, and shrug helplessly, "She was ok with it when John-Paul watched her sleep without telling her about it as well."

Gary frowns at that,

"Which one is John-Paul again, is he the tall one that looks like a heroine addict, or the big gorillaish one?"

I shake my head,

"Nah, he's the freaky sullen looking vampire you saw drooling over her before."

Gary still seems confused,

"Hmm, nope, I can't remember."

"The one who looked constipated," I add.

"Ah, alright, yeah, the pissed off looking twin, I got ya" Gary nods to himself.

"Yep, that one, he used to climb into our room and just...watch her," I make a disgusted face.

Gary's expression suddenly becomes serious,

"Ew, that's just...kinda creepy. I mean, who watches someone sleep without telling them?"

I point at him and then smirk back at a shocked looking Bella,

"Ha! Thank you, see Bella, even Gary agrees that it's creepy."

Bella looks back and forth between me and Gary, and then says,

"This can't possibly be real life right now."

"Oh, Jebus, she's about to go into emo mode," I mumble, rolling my eyes at my twin.

Bella glares at me, but says to Gary,

"I'm not angry that you tricked me."

Oooohhh, yeah, the emo rocket has officially been launched. Hold on, she'll start talking about the worthlessness of life and quoting her own poetry in a minute.

"How odd. You really mean it." Gary says, and there's a lilt of interest in his tone. Gary's eyes are rimmed with red now, and I can see the hunger etched into his marble face, "I will give your strange coven this much, you humans can be quite interesting. I guess I can see the draw of observing you. It's amazing - some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest at all."

Someone hand me a chisel!

I look Gary over. He seems so ordinary, apart from the obvious vampiric features. I wouldn't have thought him anything but an average guy in a blue t-shirt and battered jeans, if I didn't already know that he's a serial killer who could murder me without even blinking.

"I hope by 'some of you' what you really mean is 'Bella', because the only reason I'm here is because I wanted some pringles from the shop." I mutter to him.

"I suppose both your little boyfriends will avenge you," Gary says, and if anything, he sounds almost hopeful.

"I hope not," Bella says, "I asked him not to."

"And what was his reply to that?" Gary asks.

Bella shrugs,

"I don't know, the line went dead before he could answer."

"Oh yeah, and that's another thing," I glare at Bella, "You broke my phone, you _beast_!"

Bella glares right back at me,

"You threw my phone out of the window!"

"Ah, come on, aren't you over that yet, it was ages ago. Move on already," I say, annoyed.

"It was less than two weeks ago," Bella replies, sounding incredulous.

I nod at her,

"Yeah, exactly, that's like bazillion years in...ant years."

" _Ant years_?" Bella says slowly.

"What are we talking about now?" Gary adds, sounding confused again.

"Girl stuff," I answer Gary with a smile.

"Girl stuff?" Gary shakes his head, "How is 'ant years' girl stuff?"

"You wouldn't understand," I say huffily at him.

"Why not?" he demands, and now _**he's**_ annoyed.

"Because you aren't a girl...unless there's something you're not telling us...Gariella." I reply with another smirk.

Gariella makes a face at me,

"I am _not_ a girl."

"I never said you were," I hold my hands up defensively.

"I'm really not," Gariella says to me more forcefully.

"And I _believe_ you," I reply with another smile.

"You're really annoying," Gary points at me.

"Welcome to my life," Bella moans from somewhere in emoland. Nobody cares Bella, nobody cares.

"To be quite honest, I'm disappointed. I expected a much greater challenge than this. And, after all, I only needed a little luck," Gariella/Gary complains grumpily. His expression suddenly brightens though and he says, "But now I shall tell you, in great detail, my plan of how I got you here."

"Please don't," I say seriously, "You really don't have to do that. I mean it."

But he doesn't listen, obviously. Evil backing singers with duck hair never do. That's why they suck ass. A-fucking-lot. It also doesn't help that my Kevin arm is getting tired after all this bullshit talking. Holding the power of Kevin is both mighty and painful. I am a powerhouse of batitude guys. No lie.

"When Victoria couldn't get to your father, I had her find out more about you. There was no sense in running all over the planet chasing you down when I could comfortably wait for you in a place of my choosing." Gary looks smugly at Bella and me, as if we are his puppets in whatever master vampy game he has going on.

Such a prick. Kevin would so kick his ass.

"After I talked to Victoria, I decided to come to Phoenix to pay your mother a visit. I'd heard you say you were going home. At first, I never dreamed you meant it. But then I wondered. Humans can be very predictable; they like to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. And wouldn't it be the perfect ploy, to go to the last place you should be when you're hiding - the place that you said you'd be. But of course I wasn't sure, it was just a hunch. I usually get a feeling about the prey that I'm hunting, a sixth sense, if you will-"

I turn to Bella suddenly and ask her,

"Do you think he realises that we don't give a shit about any of what he's saying?" I know I sound really bitchy, but if you had some asshole ranting on about how he 'hunted' you, you'd be bitchy too. I promise. I turn back to Gary and add, "Like, seriously. Don't care. At all."

I shrug as Gary looks at us in what can only be described as utter disbelief.

"I think he has sexual identity issues or some shit." I say to Bella.

"I don't have _sexual_ _identity_ issues," Gary practically shrieks in outrage.

"Good, good, acceptance is the first step. Do you want us to call you Gary, or Gariella from now on?" I ask with an understanding head tilt.

"Neither, my name is James!" Gary pouts. Why does everyone keep going on about this 'James' bitch? Is he, like, famous or something?

"Ah ok, still in denial then? Fine, but that doesn't give you the right to be all ranty and monologue at us," I admonish him sternly.

"I just want to go home," Bella says with a sigh.

"Me too," I agree readily, "Are you going to let us go now?" I ask Gary.

"Uh, no?" Gary says in a bewildered tone of voice. "You both know I've been hunting you for weeks. You're my prey, right, you do get that?

"Are we?" I ask Bella, who shrugs one shoulder back at me in response.

"I don't know," I say, "Sometimes I think so, but then he starts talking about ant years and Weasley and his sexual identity, and I get confused."

"Guys?" Gary says. "Hello? I was explaining my plan? I need to tell you about it, remember? You need to listen, it's very important ok!"

I sigh heavily and gesture at him with Kevin, mostly to give my arm a break,

"Alright, go on, tell us oh vampy one."

Gary squares his shoulders and clears his throat before saying,

"Then your boyfriends both got on a plane to Phoenix. Victoria was monitoring them for me, naturally; in a game with this many players, I couldn't be working alone. And so they told me what I'd hoped, that you were here after all. I was prepared; I'd already been through your charming home movies. And then it was simply a matter of the bluff. Very easy, you know, not really up to my standards. So, you see, I'm hoping you're wrong about your boyfriends."

Gary suddenly whips out a video camera from...somewhere, and brandishes it to us like a weapon. The smile on his face is sinister now, and I kinda want to throw a toaster at it. But not the toast, because that would be a waste of toast. Plus, he'd probably just eat it all, the greedy little duck.

"Would you two mind, very much, if I left a little message of my own for your vampire twins?" Gary says menacingly. Or what menacing would sound like if Winnie the Pooh tried to do it.

Bella and I stare at him in horror. He's going to kill us and film it, the kinky little shit!

Gary takes a step back and places the palm-sized digital video camera carefully on top of the stereo. A small red light indicates that it is already running. He adjusts it a few times, widens the frame. I stare at him in outrage some more, and Kevin vibrates with anger on my behalf.

"Hey, douchorama, this is just weird. And not in the good way." I say, hands on hips now, "I refuse to take part, go do your death porn somewhere else."

"Death porn?" Bella asks, agahast.

"Oh right, sorry, porn is when-"

"I know what porn is, Ever!" Bella snaps at me.

"You do? Ew, that's so gross...you dirty child...I knew our internet history had been tampered with!" I accuse, pointing using Kevin again.

"SHUT UP!" Bella shouts at me.

Gary starts snickering and says,

"I'm sorry, but I just don't think they'll be able to resist hunting me after they watch this. And I wouldn't want them to miss anything. It was all for them, of course. You two are simply humans, who unfortunately were in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add."

"There was no running," I protest, "There was barely even any walking involved."

"What?"

"I do not run!"

"You sure about that?" Gary asks, and he show us his full vampy teeth.

I turn to Bella and say,

"Run!"

Bella doesn't hesitate and she runs for the door like a possessed lunatic. I'm close to follow. But Gary vampy speeds out in front of us, and with a snarl he goes for Bella. I'm there in time to shove her to the floor and out of the way.

With a loud battle cry I slam Kevin down over Gary's head. There's a sickening cracking sound, and for a moment I think I've actually hurt him. But ten I see that it's Kevin who's taken the brunt of the damage! Nooo, my poor Kevin.

Gary snaps at me like an animal and grabs hold of my arm. He smirks like that shark from Finding Nemo and then throws me, and I mean literally throws me, across the room. I hit one of the mirrors hard and it shatters all around my clearly broken body. My whole being screams out in pain and shock. I make a gasping sound and frantically search the room for Bella.

My eyesight keeps cracking as my subconscious threatens to drag me down into the darkness. I scream out Bella's name when I see through the haze that Gary has her by the throat. Gary looks over at me, my scream causing his animal instincts to kick in big time.

Gary drops Bella like a rag doll, and the crumpling sound her body makes causes me to wince. My body is broken and burning up with pain, but even so, I try to crawl away from Gary as he comes stalking towards me like the evil duck overlord that he so clearly is.

Ducky Mc asshole kneels down in front of me, a hiss escaping his mouth. I hiss back weakly. Because even when bloody and broken, I am still an awesome Unicorn.

Gary chuckles darkly and whispers,

"You know, maybe I won't kill you...maybe I'll just turn you instead. Bella can die, and you'll be a monster...yes, that sounds about right."

I gasp out the words,

" _No, please_."

I'd rather die. The thought actually shocks me, but it's the truth. I would rather die than become a vampire.

Gary laughs again and I snap at him,

" _Fucker_. Robbie is my favourite."

Gary grabs my throat then, and it hurts so much that I almost pass out. In fact I do pass out for a few seconds.

When I can see again, if only blurry images, I realise that Gary is leaning in to bite me. I try to pull away, but my body is in agony right now and I can barely keep breathing.

Funny that, all those years of teaching myself how to breathe, and now, I physically can't.

I believe that's irony at it's finest.

Just when I think it all might really be over, I see a looming blurred shape appear behind Gary. It all happens to damn fast after that.

One minute I'm looking into Gary's eyes, and the next his head has been chopped off. Or ripped off, I'm not sure which.

All I do know is that when a strong pair of hands gather me close, all the raging pain swirling inside of me settles. I sob out one word,

" _Edward._ "

There's a hitch in the voice that replies,

" _I've got you_."

And I believe him with all my heart and soul, because I've got him too.


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! Seriously, I really don't own Twilight at all. I would never admit to such a travesty even if I did. ;) xxx

_*mini flashback*_

_My body feels like it's rebelling against life, and to be honest, my mind is pretty agreeable to that. I blink my eyes open slowly, the pain slicing into my cornea's like a son of a bitch. I may need to complain to whoever represents the Sun. I shall sue! Does the sun have a lawyer? It's either that or I will have to get light bulbs banned from...everywhere. I think I can pull it off, electricity is dangerous. Very dangerous. We should go back to candles and shit._

_Hey, it works for witches._

_A cold hand touches mine, and instinctively I know who it is. My mind is still groggy and slow from trying to wake up, but I could never mistake that cool touch for belonging to anyone but Him._

_An unconscious smile twists my lips, but it soon turns into a grimace when my nerves remind me 'hey, yeah you, feel pain bitch. Feel it and like it'._

_"Ever," Edward whispers, and again I know it's him because no one says my name like he does. So smooth and pure. Humans just don't talk like that. It'd be creepy as shit if I weren't in love with the guy. The vampire, I mean. You know, the weird scruffy haired one who has the worlds best broody face._

_I force myself to open my eyes, refusing to let light bulbs defeat me. I AM MIGHTY AND I AM BULB-PROOF!_

_So there._

_"Ward," I just about manage to croak out._

_My eyesight is blurry for a few seconds, but when it finally clears I see Edward's impossibly handsome face staring down at me with such heartbreaking concern written all over him. He looks incredibly relieved when I squeeze his hand._

_The events of...whenever it was, play like a movie inside my mind. I remember being thrown across the room. The glass smashing. Gary had Bella by the throat. I screamed. Gary tried to molest me. Which was very inappropriate. You can't just throw people around like gummy bears and then try to nibble them. That's rude. I wish I had the chance to tell him that. But, no, Edward went and...killed him._

_Chopped off his fucking head. Yeah, that's an image I won't be forgetting any time soon thank you very much universe._

_Then another terrible thought crosses my mind, and my breathe starts coming out in gasps. Edward's eyes widen and he moves closer to me, brushing a kiss over my cheek. For some reason that helps, if only a little. I honestly don't have the energy for a full blown panic attack right now._

_"I'm here, baby, I'm right here," Edward whispers hoarsely, like his throat has been scrubbed raw with sandpaper._

_I have to ask, even though it kills me to do so. I just have to know._

_"Please...tell me," I force out the words to Edward, "Not dead. Please don't say dead."_

_Edward seems to know, just as I'd hoped he would, exactly what I mean. His face turns grave, and tears begin to sting my eyes even before he says,_

_"I'm sorry, Ev's, we did everything we could...but...it was too late."_

_A strangled sound vibrates through my body and out of my mouth before I can catch it. I shake my head at him,_

_"No...please...this can't be possible...it's...no please...did you try glue?"_

_Edward nods sadly,_

_"We tried everything...sellotape...super-glue...elastic bands...but...nothing worked," Edward takes my hand in a firmer grip, "I'm sorry Ever, but he's gone."_

_"Oh, fuck, what am I going to tell his **kids**? His wife, she'll never forgive me?" I let the tears fall, a deep sadness welling inside of me._

_A very unwelcome coughing sound comes from the opposite side of my hospital bed to where Edward is standing/hovering protectively. I ignore the distraction from my grief until a really, REALLY, irritating voice says,_

_"Uh, Ever, I'm fine by the way. You know, alive and all. Just in case you cared."_

_I turn to the emo empress and say,_

_"Well I know that, I can **see** that you're alive. I'm not blind. Now shut up, I'm in mourning right now. Don't ruin it."_

_Bella huffs in annoyance,_

_"Because your bat got smashed?"_

_I point angrily at her,_

_"Not everything is about you Bella, God, Kevin risked his life for us and all you can do is think about yourself."_

_Edward shakes his head scornfully at my sister and says,_

_"Shameful."_

_I love how willingly he throws himself into my madness, even though I know he's driving himself mad with guilt and worry._

_*end of mini flash back*_

After that Bella threw a mini fit, which I ignored, and I was attacked by wuv from my mother and then even more wuv from my Dad. They both looked worried sick, although Dad managed to play it off. Like a Boss.

He also happens to think the whole vampire thing was a dream. I am both grateful and disappointed about that, but as Edward pointed out, it's probably for the best. At least for now.

Even Beany came to visit me. We ate ice cream and watched hospital TV, which is shitty by the way. We did find Titanic on one channel though, and Beany pretended not to cry when Jack died. He then proceeded to rant for half an hour about how that ginger haired bitch could have just scooted her fat ass over and shared the broken piece of boat. He said she murdered Leonardo Di Caprio. I said he'd eaten too much ice cream and was therefore way overly excited. He called me out on my blasphemous words, and I repented.

Too much ice cream? Pfft, ain't no such thing.

I left the hospital as soon as possible though. I hate hospitals. And doctors. Pretty much anywhere that smells sterile and has people in them who's job it is to tell others that there's something wrong with them.

But anyway, that's why I'm here now, wearing a dark blue and back laced dress. I'm going to a fucking dance. A fucking SCHOOL dance. Because Bella wouldn't stop whining that JfatlotofgoodyouwerewhengarytriedtoeatusP was forcing her to go. Edward tried a little bit of persuasion to get me to go with them, but I hit him in the face with a pillow and we never spoke of it again.

I eventually caved anyway. I don't know why it's so God damned important to him, but, shit if it'll make him happy then I'll do it. We haven't had much time to talk, at least not alone. There's always someone hovering in the background. Like my mum, or my Dad, or Bella or...fucking anyone who decided it was a good idea to stare at me.

I know we need to have a talk. He must be pissed that I went off without him. I mean, I'd be pissed. I also think we need to discuss him killing Gary like that. I saw the complete and utter _fury_ on his face. I saw the monster from within him winking out at me in that moment. I need to tell him what I think about becoming a vampire. I need to tell him about my past.

But most of all I want to tell Edward that I'm in love with him. Against all odds.

I hope he'll be able to find it in himself to forgive me. I might even forgive myself one day.

I'll never forgive Bella, but that's been a constant struggle since birth, so I'm not really worried about it.

It was Pixie who tortured Bella into getting dressed up like a very stroppy princess. I think she looks good, but the emo extrodinaire disagrees. But then, who cares what she thinks. That's right, no one. I refused to let Pixie at me, and I ran away from her when she attempted to bathe me in the most expensive smelling perfume known to mankind. It's probably a freaking love potion or some shit.

Queen Bee did not appreciate it when I decided the best place to hide would be under her bed. But she let me do it and only threatened my life twice, so, I'm thinking that's definite progress.

It was hilarious when the guys picked me and Bella bop up from our house. Tyler the Gordan destroyer tried to take Bella to Prom, with disastrous results. JP got pissed about it and just about snapped the idiot's head off. With his harsh words I mean, not with his actual vampy aggression.

Tyler then made the biggest mistake of his life and tried to ask me to go to the Prom with him. Edward was not best pleased and he snarled, like literally fucking snarled, at Tyler. He looked poise to attack, and I'm pretty sure if my Dad hadn't of been there then he seriously might have.

Dad is acting a bit weird towards Edward and JP, and I think he blames them for what happened to his daughters. I of course blame Bella, because really it was all her fault for practically gift wrapping us for Gary. But I can't actually say that because it would bring about some awkward questions that neither me nor Bella want to answer.

When we get to prom Edward and I immediately ditch our more annoying counterparts and make a break for it. I do run into Beany though before we can escape and he looks miserable, but at the same time determined. This whole Goldy thing is really getting to him. Update on that by the way, Goldy has now gone full on fake straight and is dating Chatty. I was livid when I found out.

_*mini flashback*_

_It's my first day back at school after getting home from hospital and I'm looking forward to getting back to normal. Or at least as normal as my life ever actually is. Although it seems the day is destined to be off to a bad start._

_"What do you mean he's dating Chatty?! What did he say to you?" I demand angrily._

_Beany shrugs miserably and replies,_

_"He tried to tell me it didn't mean anything at first, and he loves me and blah blah blah. But when I kept ignoring his phone calls and texts, he eventually went radio silent._ _Next thing I know everyone in school is saying they're together."_

_"Yeah, but are they really, that could just be rumours," I argue, but it's clear from Beany's expression that there's more to it than that. I reach over and take his hand in mine, squeezing it gently._

_Beany looks over at me and smiles sadly, my heart cracks a little for him. He says,_

_"Mike told me, when I confronted him at his house about it. He said he was trying his best to be normal."_

_I gasp, that son of bitch! How dare he spew something so nasty at my best friend!_

_"Want me to kick his ass?" I ask, practically jumping up and down on the spot in pissed-of-ness._

_Beany shakes his head slowly,_

_"Nah, you'd probably kill him, and then you'd go to jail, and I quite like having you around."_

_Ha, as if Goldy would be worth going to jail for. The cowardly little shit._

_"You want me to get Edward to beat him up?" I ask._

_Beany actually lets out a breathless chuckle at that and says,_

_"No! Your boyfriend might actually murder Mike if you tell him to. That guy has serious feelings for you, Sid, I wouldn't put anything past him."_

_Beany might actually have a point there. Edward has been scarily attentive lately, and as much as I enjoy his presence, I'm starting to worry about him a bit. I don't want his whole world to revolve around me, that wouldn't end well for either of us._

_"Then why do you want to do," I say, and then point at Beany and Chatty, who are kissing right now in front of practically the whole school. Ugh, even Bella and JP don't do that. "Because some kind of penance must be in order. He can't get away with treating you like that. I won't have it."_

_Beany smiles gratefully at me, and he sighs heavily,_

_"It means a lot that you care so much, Sid. But the truth is, what I really want to do, is go up to him and shout. I want to make a big scene about how he cheated on me and what a bastard he is. I would never do that to Mike though, no matter what, I no one deserves to be outed against their will, it wouldn't be right."_

_Yeah, I guess he has a point...wait a second...the evil part of my brain has an idea._

_Beany rears back a little and says,_

_"Uh oh, you've got that evil smirky face on, what are you thinking?"_

_I smile widely at Beany and say,_

_"Tell me everything you want to yell at Goldy about."_

_Beany looks confused, but he does as I ask and for a good ten minutes he goes on about all the things he'd love to say to his once secret boyfriend. An evil cackle bubbles up from my throat and Beany appears both wary and intrigued. Edward comes over then and he asks Beany,_

_"Why is my girlfriend cackling like a witch?"_

_Beany shrugs helplessly and replies,_

_"She's plotting."_

_Edward's eyes open wide and he nods in understanding,_

_"Ah, the creepy dancing makes sense now."_

_I ignore them both as I flounce away to complete my simply brilliant plan._

_Gold turns to me in surprise when I tap him on the shoulder. At first he seems pleased to see me, but he must take note of something in my eyes and his expression becomes one of fear. Good, he should fear me. Everyone should. I am badass._

_I pierce him with my best betrayed look and before Goldy can get a word out I use every bit of my strength to slap him. The crack vibrates loudly through the full school courtyard thingy. Goldy looks shocked and his hand reaches up to touch his face._

_I feel very satisfied. Maybe I should slap a bitch more often._

_"What the hell?" Chatty practically screams, her voice shrill._

_"What was that for?" Goldy asks quietly._

_Oh, you know what that was for, I say with my eyes. Because I know he knows that I know. That's why he looked so afraid before, and why he seems so subdued now. But I'm not done with him, not by a long shot._

_I stand my ground and fix Goldy with a contemptuous look._

_Then, I begin to yell._

_"How could you! How could you cheat on me with her!" I point dramatically at Chatty, "You fucking coward! How dare you tell me you love me, and then kiss a girl behind my back! And now you're 'dating' her, who are you kidding? After everything we shared, you think you can just throw me away and start dating a girl you_ _don't even like? What is wrong with you? Huh?"_

_Goldy is gulping on air like a fish, and I'm pleased my nicknaming skills are proving themselves to be totally boss. But anyway, his eyes fill with pain and sadness, and I know in that moment that he understands what I'm doing. Goldy looks over my shoulder at Beany, and I turn my body subtly so that I can see Beany as well. The shock and hurt in my friend's gaze is heartbreaking. The answering look in Goldy's is equally as devastating. I almost feel bad enough to stop, but then he says,_

_"It wasn't real."_

_Ok, bitch is back in business._

_"You what?!" I shout at Goldy, "We loved each other, I know we did. You kissed me first remember? You were the one who came to my house that night when I was alone and said you wanted your first time to be with someone special. You were the one who said 'I love you' first! You were the one who always told me that we'd be together properly when we went to College."_

_Goldy is blushing so hard right now, and I press on,_

_"You love me, I know you do. You aren't that good a liar, Mikey, I know what we had was real, no matter what you say. You can't treat people this badly and expect them to just accept it," I add the last part for me._

_"I'm so...I'm sorry...I...just...don't...I can't..." Goldy is still looking over my shoulder at Beany, and his eyes are filling with tears now._

_I shake my head at him and says almost gently,_

_"It's over now, Mikey. Don't speak to me ever again, because I can barely stand to look at you. You broke my heart, but you already knew that."_

_Goldy looks frantic now and his eyes flicker to me in disbelief for a few seconds, and then shift back to Beany for confirmation. I see Beany cross his arms and nod mutely, his expression cold and harsh, but resolute._

_I risk a glance at Edward, who appears, if anything, slightly amused. That's good, at least he's not angry._

_I move to walk away from Goldy, but at the last minute he reaches out to grab my arm. I flinch at the strength of it, both Edward and Beany are at my side in an instant._

_Edward takes hold of Goldy's wrist and removes his grip from my arm. His eyes are like slates of ice when he says,_

_"I think you've caused enough damage, Newton."_

_Beany asks me if I'm alright and doesn't look at Goldy at all, his eyes focused completely on me. I nod and say,_

_"I'm fine, lets go."_

_We leave Goldy standing there looking after us with an expression that can only be described as one of regret and self loathing._

_Beany takes my hand later on that day in class. Everyone is staring, obviously, how could they not after this morning's events. Chatty in particular is looking daggers at me almost constantly. But I don't give two shits about that._

_"Thank you," Beany whispers to me._

_I bump my nose on his shoulder and whisper back,_

_"That's what best friends are for."_

_Beany smiles down at me, and some of the heartbreak in his eyes recedes._

_*end of mini flashback*_

"I'll get better," I tell Beany, and I feel like an asshole saying that because it doesn't really help.

Beany smiles at me and shrugs,

"Go have fun, Sid, just let me mope a bit more."

I don't want to leave him, but I understand needing time alone, so I give him a hug and say,

"Alright, but you owe me a dance later tonight. Deal?"

Beany takes my hand and shakes it,

"Deal."

I let Edward sweep me onto the dance floor, against my better judgement. My Ward really does look sexy as all hell in a suit. He grin up at him, unable to help myself. Edward pulls me closer to him and for a while we dance together in silence, both of us just feeling each other. His arms are so strong and solid that they make me feel safe, even though they should make me feel the opposite.

"We need to talk," I say to him eventually.

Edward nods slowly, and resignedly, but before he can say anything a sense of heat moves up my spine and Edward's arms tighten. My pulse jumps when I hear Jacob say,

"Hey, Lyna, I was hoping I'd see you here."

I try to turn and for a moment I think Edward won't let me, but when I give him a stern look he lets go of me. Reluctantly. Very reluctantly.

I smile, genunely pleased to see Jacob. Edward and Jacob glare at each other. Brilliant.

Jacob came to visit me in the hospital. Edward refused to leave my side. They spent the whole time glaring at each other and sniping out bitten off insults. I don't know why, but they appeared to hate each other on sight.

"Can I cut in?" Jacob asks, directing the question pointedly to Edward. It's a challenge pure and simple. A challenge that Edward wastes no time in rising to.

"That depends, which one of us are you wanting to dance with?"

Oh shit.

Jacob smirks and replies readily,

"Why? Are you angling for a dance?"

Oh snap.

Edward and Jacob have another long staring contest. Then I get annoyed and throw my hands up in exasperation,

"Would you both stop being ridiculous. Ward, I'm going to dance with J, I'll be over in a minute so we can have that talk."

" _ **'J'?**_ " Edward says in surprise and anger, at the same time Jacob says,

" ** _Ward?_** " in a similar contentious tone.

Oh my for the love of ice cream!

"Guys!" I say in annoyance, "Seriously?"

They stare at each other for another good few seconds, and then Edward reluctantly relinquishes me to Jacob.

Jacob looks far too self-satisfied, but then again Edward looked the same way when Jacob had to leave me at the hospital. Couple of morons. I may have to beat them both if they keep behaving like this.

I move into Jacob's arms, and as they tighten around me I really realise for the first time how God damned tall Jacob is now. I look up at him and ask,

"Did someone give you a growing potion?"

"Nah, puberty just kicked me in the dick and now I'm a tree," Jacob replies with his usual easy going manner.

I snort out a laugh and nod,

"You do feel a bit tree-like."

"I'll have you know that my tree-esque qualities are well sought after, thank you very much," Jacob says in a mock offended tone.

I stiffle another laugh and say,

"I never doubted you for a second, J."

Jacob smiles sadly then, but the sadness is only there for a moment before it slips away again.

"You haven't called me J since we were kids."

It's my turn to smile sadly then,

"I guess I was blocking a lot of it out...besides, we still are kids."

Jacob spins me in a funny little loop that makes no sense considering the song that's playing, but it makes us laugh. When we're facing each other again Jacob says,

"Speak for yourself, I happen to be at the height of maturity right now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

"Bet you still have those Spongebob boxers though," I say with a smirk.

Jacob scoffs at me,

"Well, yeah, of course. They're my lucky pants. You don't just get rid of your lucky pants, that'd make you unlucky. I'm not a idiot."

I burst out laughing, unable to help myself.

"So, why are you here?" I ask him.

Jacob loses his easy going smile then, and says,

"Well, partly because Billy sent me here on a mission to stop you from getting eated to death by your boy toy, Edmund Collins," I hit his arm in admonishment, but he continues, "But mostly I just wanted to talk to you."

He takes a moment to look into my eyes intently, those dark iris' of his glinting with something I can't name.

"You look beautiful, you know. You always have. Even all those years ago, when you had messy hair and dirt on your face most of the time."

I don't know what to say to that. Jacob looks so honest, and his words are incredibly...real. I can hear that in his voice. I can feel his meaningful stare all the way down to my bones.

I really do not understand my reaction at all. It makes me feel strange, like I'm betraying Edward even though I'm not doing anything. Which is ridiculous.

"I want you to get on better with Edward, J. Please, for me."

Jacob bristles and his jaw clenches,

"There's something about him, Ever...it's...I don't know how to explain it."

I tighten my arms around Jacob's neck,

"Why do you seem to hate him so much?" Because it was hate I saw between them. Or at least, something powerful enough to be hate.

Jacob looks a little startled and he shakes his head,

"I don't hate him, Ever. He's just...weird."

I actually have to snicker at that,

"J, _you're_ weird."

Jacob rolls his eyes,

"Not what I meant."

"Well, he's my boyfriend, and you're my friend. I would like for you and him to get on."

"He hates me," Jacob says matter of factly.

"No, he doesn't," I say, unsure of my own words.

Jacob gives me a wounded look,

"You literally just accused me of hating him. What, so I can hate him, but he can't hate me? I feel slightly offended, and I'm not sure why."

I'm caught between laughter and irritation. So I combine the two by laughing and flicking Jacob on the neck.

"You're insane," I say to Jacob.

"Hello pot," Jacob says in amusement, "my name is kettle."

I open my mouth to reply, but Jacob's eyes go hard over my shoulder and I feel rather than see Edward's presence behind me. My heart skips a beat just like it always does around Edward.

"I think that's enough for one night," Edward says to me, but his eyes are trained on Jacob.

For a second I almost think Jacob will argue, and I really don't want tonight to end in a fist cuffs at dawn duel. But instead Jacob moves away from me and says,

"I'll see you soon, Lyna There are things I want to talk to you about."

I look back over at him quickly, and I want desperately to ask if he's going to talk to me about his diagnosis. But I can't do that in front of Edward, so instead I say,

"Yeah, any time J."

Jacob one last smile for me and one last harsh look for Edward, and then he's gone.

Edward takes me in his arms again a moment later and he distracts me from my thoughts when he says,

"I don't like him."

I roll my eyes,

"Oh really? You could have fooled me, I thought you wanted to be his best friend."

"The way he looks at you..." Edward starts, but then he stops and his eyes meet mine, "I feel like there's more to this than I thought before."

"More to what?" I ask curiously.

"You and Jacob," Edward answers thoughtfully.

"What, why would you think that?" I ask, genially surprised.

"He's...strange," Edward says after a long pause.

I almost laugh, since Jacob said almost the exact same thing.

"You and he are a lot alike, more so than I originally thought when you mentioned him."

I frown at that and say jokingly,

"What, can you not read his mind too?"

Edward doesn't reply, he just shakes his head.

Wait, what?

"Ward, seriously...can you...not read Jacob's thoughts?" I whisper to Edward, moving closer to him.

We sway to the music almost as an afterthought now. Edward's expression is tight and worried. Finally he meets my gaze again and says,

"I've seen him before, but not close enough to notice. But then, when he came to the hospital, his mind was silent. I couldn't make out a damn thing."

Well holy shit!

"Do you have any idea why?" I ask, not sure of what else to say.

Edward shakes his head,

"No, it's driving me crazy though."

Yeah, I guess it would. It already drove him a little crazy to not be able to read my mind. But now Jacob's as well.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

Edward makes a face and bites his lip,

"I was hoping it was a fluke. But now he's here and I still can't hear anything. When you two were standing together it was like...God, I don't know, like being in a soundproof room."

"Fucking hell," I mutter.

"Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about it too," Edward says with a heavy sigh.

We dance together for a few songs without saying a word, both of us trying to digest such massive information.

After a while I realise Edward and I still haven't talked properly. There's a slow song playing now, and there aren't that many couples on the dance floor. I lock eyes with my boyfriend, and he notices the change in my expression because he's completely in the moment.

"There are three things I need to tell you. I've been thinking for a long time about all of this, trying to get it right in my head, so just...try to understand," I say calmly to Edward, even though my heart is jack hammering at about a thousand miles per hour.

Edward ghosts a kiss over my jaw and my pulse spikes, making me feel almost light headed. I want him so much sometimes that it goes far beyond reason and lust. He's everything I could want in a lover, and more. I want him to be mine in every way possible, and to be his in return.

"I will do my best to understand you, Ev's, always," Edward says honestly.

"First of all," I begin, "I realised that I don't want to be a vampire-"

"Thank christ," Edward says, sounding utterly relieved.

"Secondly," I continue, "I think I know you better now that I've seen the darker side of you. So, in return, I want to tell you..things. About my past. Not tonight, maybe, but soon. It matters to me that you know about who I was, as well as who I am now."

Edward smiles, and it is blindingly beautiful,

"I want to know everything there is to know about you, Ev's, I have since the moment we met."

My my body rushes with acceptance and joy, but this last admission is the most important. And the one that scares me the most as well.

I lean up close to Edward and let our lips brush as I whisper,

"And thirdly...I...I **love** you, Edward."

I hear the catch in my own throat as I say the words. Edward cups my face and kisses me then. His lips are hungry for the taste of mine, and I open my mouth willingly when his tongue sweeps inside. He takes my mouth in a furiously mind melting kiss of possession. I kiss him back with equal passion, wanting to be as close to him in this moment as possible.

When Edward finally pulls back before we can start actually making out on the dance floor, he rests his forehead against mine. His voice is laced with possessiveness and longing as he whispers almost brokenly,

" _I love you_ , Ever. So much that it fucking hurts sometimes."

"You better," I say breathlessly as tears begin rolling down my face, stinging my eyes like hell.

We both laugh. Nothing else exists in this moment but us.

A voice from my dreams whispers,

_This is just the beginning..._


End file.
